


Blood Stained Sinners

by Iconoclast



Series: Saints dance in hell [1]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Sex, Blasphemy, Blow Jobs, Borderline Personality Disorder, Come Eating, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, Dubious Submission, Dysfunctional Relationships, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Explicit Language, Extremely Dubious Consent, Falling In Love, God Complex, Hate Sex, Historical References, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Improper Use of Catholic Rituals, Inferiority Complex, Kira!Light - Freeform, Light is a Dick, Lost Love, Love/Hate, M/M, Masturbation, Mello is a whore, Messiah Complex, Metalhead!Mello, Mind Games, Mindfuck, Minor Matt | Mail Jeevas/Mello | Mihael Keehl, Oral Fixation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possession, Rimming, Rough Sex, Shinigami Eyes, Stockholm Syndrome, Verbal Humiliation, Violent Sex, mentioned Beyond Birthday
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-21 08:55:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 136,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13737444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iconoclast/pseuds/Iconoclast
Summary: January 26th, Matt dies but Mello survives, saved by no one else than Light Yagami himself.Light takes care to fake their boths death and they disappear in the underworld network.Light needs Mello on his side to beat Near and Mello needs Light so he can win against Near. Both of them are trying to fool the other. While Light takes advantage from looking alike Mello's lost lover Matt, Mello tries to fool Light into falling in love with him to avenge Matt's death. Who's going to win? Who's the better player?Some fluff, more smut and flashbacks about Matt & Mello; contains ficart





	1. Survivor

**Author's Note:**

> Mello is Catholic, he is aware of his bad behaviour and prays devout to the Virgin Mary and Saint Michael. He is truly committed to Matt and is worried about his lost lover's soul.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mello is on the way to face his own execution, but no one escapes ill fate. His is called Light Yagami.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How can we forgive ourselves?  
> For what we have become?  
> How should we bear this burden?  
> Displace the things we've done?
> 
> I loved you so fucking much  
> It nearly lasted a lifetime  
> Fuck! I scratched my heart out  
> Just to watch it bleed...
> 
> I wish I was kerosene, just to set myself on fire
> 
> [HFTS - Fire, walk with me]

**26 January, Tokyo, Japan**

 

Everything was going according to plan. Mello was damn good at doing his thing and it was the reason why they chose _him_. He was the best. The blonde was on the way to the accorded place, an abandoned church outside Tokyo. And everything was running smoothly, except for one thing. A thing that was leaving a deep wound in his heart.

 

Mello stopped the truck, a car parked across the street was blocking his way. He honked a couple of times.  _‘What the... why isn’t anybody in there?’_  He heard a loud noise of the container door opening and then a shot.  _‘Fuck! What is going on?’_   Mello jumped from the truck, holding his trusted Beretta gun in his hand, and wanted to rush towards the container backside. But all of a sudden, he felt a heavy shove from behind, then somebody threw a black sack over his head and everything he could see was darkness. He felt his hands shackled behind his back and a piece of cloth pushed in his mouth. Everything happened so fast and out of the blue; Mello was too shaken to rebel. He felt his body dragged away from the truck and thrown on the backseats of the parked car. The car moved, then stopped again and the other person left him in there, alone and without saying anything. The boot of the car opened and closed and then was nothing. Mello didn’t struggle to free himself. He had not the strength for it, not after what had happened a few hours earlier. He was internally broken; his soul had collapsed in darkness. He had hoped to join _him_ in death soon but apparently God had other plans for him. All he could do now was to cry and to pray silently.  _‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.’_

 

It was a while later as his kidnapper came back and took the sack from his head to blindfold him. Mello felt soft fabric on his eyes, maybe it was a silk tie. “Do you have any devices on you?” The young man asked him, his voice was warm and gentle, even pleasant. “Mobile phone? Tracking bugs or anything that could lead to your position?” Mello shook his head. The man pulled the cloth from his mouth. The stranger smelled of expensive perfume and his hand was soft. Mello liked luxurious fragrances and this one in particular gave him a soothing sensation.

“Only on the lorry.”

“Good.” The man closed the door and opened the front one. He sat in the car and lit the engine. “You were supposed to die today. But it seems like destiny had other plans for you.”

Mello felt his chest aching.  _‘God, why are you punishing me? Holy Mother, please have mercy on me.’_

During the ride Mello kept calm and didn’t talk, nor did the other man. The ride was long and Mello was lying on the backseat and listening to the relaxing noise of the engine, his state trance like. After a while, about two hours as Mello guessed, the car stopped again and the man pulled him out. He wasn’t rough, didn’t seem to have bad intentions. It must have been dark already, his eyes couldn’t catch any light. Mello heard a door open and was led into a room. The door closed behind them. Mello was forced to sit on a chair, his wrists shackled to it. Then the man took the blindfold from his eyes and Mello felt his heart skip. For a second he thought it was Matt.

 

 

 

Light looked at the young man in front of him. His ice blue eyes stared incredulous at him, the boy seemed unbelievably sad.  _‘Why does he look like he’s seen a ghost?’_  In his place, anyone would have been scared or even angry or at least have a reaction. But not the blonde, he looked miserable, as if escaping death was not a welcome coincidence.

“I’m sorry about the circumstances we meet, Mello.”

_‘How does he know my name?’_  The blonde wondered but didn’t say anything.

“I am L.”

Mello’s eyes widened.  _‘He is Kira? What does he want from me? I failed... forgive me.’_  He didn’t say anything though, wondering what _L_ wanted from him.

“I’m not going to do anything to you. I saved you because I want you to help me. I need you as my ally.” Light explained and Mello frowned.

“Well, I guess you’re giving me no choice since I’m tied to a chair.” The boy spat at him in a venomous tone. Light noticed a slight accent, maybe Russian; he couldn’t tell with certainty.

“If you keep quiet, I’ll free you.”

Mello nodded, he had no intention to rebel. He had not the strength for it. He still hadn’t realized what the hell was going on here; that he was still alive. Light unshackled him and Mello sat there, motionless.

“So this is how Near treats his allies? Sending them to die? He really has no qualms.” Light murmured but Mello didn’t react. He was too confused to put pieces together, his heart was torn apart and bleeding.

Light was standing in front of Mello and studied the young man. He already knew that he was a sort of genius but unlike Ryuzaki and Near, this guy was rather impulsive and was known for his aggressive behaviour. He was a dangerous individual, his emotionality made him unpredictable and unmanageable. That was the reason why Near wanted him out of his way and why Light needed him on his side, despite having kidnapped his sister in the past. If Light had Mello, Near could never foresee their actions. If Light had Mello he could get Near and the SPK permanently out of his way. Light figured out that violence was not the way to get Mello. He had to be subtle, he had to bring Mello to trust him, he had to literally seduce his mind and bring him to believe in his cause. Because if that was the case, he would help him against Near. Light had already guessed that Near and Mello were rivals, if not even fierce enemies and it seemed that Mello was rather competitive and could be quite ruthless. Light would have him on his side, no matter the cost.

“I need you to take off your clothes. I have to be hundred percent sure there aren’t any spy bugs on them.” Mello glared at him. “I’m not going to rape you or whatever. You can take a shower if you want. I got you a clean set of clothes.” He explained gently, trying to get the blonde comfortable.

Mello raised an eyebrow and nodded. A shower was what he needed right now. He felt the urge to wash his sins away. The blonde looked around. It seemed like they were in a cheap motel room. It was horrible, there was a fitted carpet on the floor, cracked walls, a bed, a table with an old TV and it stank in there. It smelled of sex, cheap alcohol and cigarettes. Mello inhaled deeply. “Okay.”

Light turned away as Mello began to strip from his tight leatherwear. The blonde took off his biker boots, all his clothes and removed reluctantly his jewellery. He put everything on the bed and walked towards the bathroom. There wasn’t any door there, but L would ask him to leave it open anyway. He turned on the water and observed himself in the mirror. He looked exhausted and his eyes were swollen and red. Mello stepped in the shower and pulled the shower curtain behind him. Hot water ran over his head and skin. His scar hurt. His soul hurt. Everything hurt. And then, he cried, his tears flowing with the water.

 

Light checked all of Mello’s clothes. As the blonde had said, there wasn’t anything; he wasn’t lying. Light wondered how a male could wear such tight clothes, they looked quite uncomfortable. Mello was a strange guy. Light couldn’t tell why he wore a rosary and several crosses, maybe it was a weird mafia thing. The blonde stayed under the shower for a while but Light didn’t mind. He put a set of clean clothes on the sink and waited in the bedroom. Light was already sure he wasn’t going to get anything from him that night. He just needed to be patient and to stick to his plan. So easy was that.

 

 

Mello came back to the bedroom. Light observed him carefully. Mello finally looked like a boy of his age without all that leather gear. His eyes were red as if he had cried, or perhaps it was something related to fair eyes and light sensibility. It would take Light quite some effort to understand this boy.  _‘Is he embarrassed?’_

“Do you want something to eat?”

Mello shook his head. “I just... want to sleep.” Light nodded. The blonde lay down and pulled the blanket over his head. He sent a silent prayer to Saint Michael and repeated it until his mind shut down, and he finally slept in.

_St. Michael the Archangel, illustrious leader of the heavenly army,_ _  
_defend us in the battle against principalities and powers, against the rulers of the world of darkness and the spirit of wickedness in high places.__

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mello is Catholic, he is aware of his bad behaviour and prays devoted to the Virgin Mary and Saint Michael, the Archangel.   
> He was and still is truly committed to Matt and is worried about his lost lover's soul.


	2. Left behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback about the last night of Matt and Mello together.
> 
> Mello and Light are respectively putting things into pieces, trying to find out how to use each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not dead but also not alive  
> I seem like a ghost with a beating heart  
> Cause death is not the greatest loss in life  
> But what dies inside us while we fledge
> 
> [HFTS - Stillborn]

* * *

 

 

**25 January**

 

“It’s our last night together.” Mello was looking from the large window and Matt embraced him from behind, kissed the back of his neck. Tokyo was so different from Los Angeles, and nevertheless Mello liked it in some way, even if he missed the ocean view from their flat in Malibu. He looked up to the Tokyo Tower, he always wanted to go up there with Matt, their eyes directed towards Los Angeles, just on the other side of the ocean. So close and yet so far. “I can’t believe I’m going to do this.” Matt turned the blonde towards him and kissed him. Mello cupped both his cheeks and didn’t let him go.

“I don’t believe you’ll die. You’ll find a way to survive. I know you.” Matt’s dark blue eyes looked in his fair ones. Mello loved those eyes, as deep as the deepest ocean. Matt was sad, of course he was, but a spark of hope was gleaming in him. “You survived the explosion, Mells...” Matt’s fingertips softly traced the scar on the blonde’s face. “You will survive this one easily. Your Archangel is watching over you.”

Mello sighed and shook his head. “It’s not... I don’t think it’s possible this time. There is no way out.”

“You’ll find a way and make it. Because you’re a fucking genius and I love you for that.”

Mello smiled briefly but didn’t really believe him. “I hope so.” Matt lifted Mello’s slender figure up and made him sit on the window sill. Mello’s legs wrapped around Matt’s waist and they kissed once more; long, fervently, full of desire. “Are you sure you are going through this with me?” Mello muttered between their kisses and Matt nodded. “I’m worried. I don’t want anything happen to you.”

Matt kissed Mello’s fingers. “What could go wrong? I just have to throw a fucking gas grenade and drive away. Easy, man.”

“I have a very bad feeling in my stomach.” Mello sobbed.

“You  _always_  have a bad feeling, Mells.” Matt unzipped Mello’s tight leather vest and kissed his tattooed chest. “Don’t overthink, don’t be anxious. We’re gonna make it.” Matt interlaced his fingers with Mello’s. “Together.” A tear ran from Mello’s eye and Matt kissed it away. “We have faced so many dangerous situations together, even worse than this one.” Mello nodded but he seemed a bit uncertain. “Don’t underestimate yourself. Believe in yourself, because  _I_  believe in  _you_.” Matt kissed the tip of his nose.

Matt was the only stable point in Mello’s life. If it wasn’t for him, he would have gone insane for sure. Mello was aware of his intelligence, but he had always issues in controlling his emotions, to believe in himself. He was prone to overthinking, got anxiety attacks and was very hot-tempered. Matt’s calm and chill attitude always soothed his restless feelings. He made him feel safe, Mello felt free to be weak and to cry in his presence, he didn’t need to act tough. And Matt always gave him the solace he needed, he always took care of Mello. He mended his wounds and his soul. Matt knew what Mello needed right there, at any moment. Mello couldn’t imagine his life without Matt.

“I love you so much.” Mello cupped both his cheeks and kissed Matt deeply. The redhead returned passionately.

“I’d die for you, Mel.” Matt was serious now, he almost never was.

“If you dare...” Mello kissed Matt’s lips and nibbled at his lower one. “I’ll come straight to hell and burn everything to get you back.” The blonde leaned his forehead against the redhead’s, brushed their noses together, smelled his skin. “I promised you... such a long time ago.” He barely whispered, his voice too weak to speak.

Matt took off his shirt and sat on the sill next to Mello. It was large enough to allow an adult person to lie on it. Matt kissed Mello’s tattooed chest while he first unbuckled the belt and then undid the laces of Mello’s tight leather pants. Matt always wondered how the blonde could wear uncomfortable clothes like that, but he loved them on him. He thought it was so damn sexy, and Mello knew that. Matt slid the pants from the blonde’s long legs leaving him naked; as usual Mello didn’t wear any underwear. Matt didn’t mind taking off his own jeans, he just lowered them to his knees. Mello kissed his neck, his jaw, his shoulders; he bit hard in his skin, leaving marks. Matt touched him everywhere, his fingers followed his tattoos, he caressed his scar, he stroked his already hard cock. The blonde threw his head back, eyes halfway closed and he moaned softly. Mello took Matt’s hand and coated index and middle finger with spit, then he guided his hand downwards, eyeing the redhead full of desire, his lips almost trembling. Mello felt Matt’s fingers slowly entering him; he groaned low as they moved and felt his body set on fire. Matt was gentle, yet passionate; he just needed a look to excite the blonde because he always knew what Mello needed. Mello felt the redhead’s fingers inside him, closed his eyes, bit on his lower lip to not moan too loud. And how much Matt loved that soft noises coming from the blonde’s mouth. Matt withdrew his fingers and spat in his hand to coat his cock with saliva. The redhead looked at the blonde, as if to ask him for permission; Mello gave a nervous nod. The blonde didn’t usually like the passive role; he wanted to be the active one, the commanding one, but not tonight. He felt broken and all he needed right now was to feel Matt in him, giving him comfort. The redhead entered him, careful but firmly, until he was fully sheathed. He lowered and kissed Mello, slowly, lazily, then he moved, gentle. He hooked one of Mello’s legs over his shoulder to penetrate him deeper. Mello groaned loud and pulled the redhead down to kiss him hard, fingers tangled in the fiery mane.

“Fuck me like there’s no tomorrow.” Mello muttered in Matt’s mouth, these words were sweet as honey in his ears. Matt began to thrust, faster, harder, deeper. Mello’s fingernails buried in the other’s back, tearing skin apart. Their bodies clang together against the cold window. One was spark and the other was gasoline, and together they burnt like the brightest flames.

 

It was good for both of them. Mello couldn’t get enough of his lover, he literally begged him for a second round. Matt was glad to oblige, he loved to please his boyfriend. He fucked Mello from behind on his knees, the blonde slammed up against the steamy window. At that moment all Mello knew was that if he would die, he wanted to die like this.

They were lying on the sill, exhausted and embracing each other deeply. They needed sex first, but now they needed each other’s affection. The blonde was laying on top of the redhead, his slender body placed between the other’s legs, kissing the sweet sweat from his chest. Matt cupped his chin and pulled him up to meet in an awkwardly long and tender kiss.

“As soon as we’re done here we fly straight back to LA.” Matt whispered between their kisses. “I want to celebrate my 20th birthday with style next week.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Coke and champagne in a fucking expensive hotel room. Bathing in a Jacuzzi and you by my side. That’s all I need.”

 

 

 

 

**27 January**

 

Mello woke up wondering if this all was a bad dream. Was Matt still with him? The blonde opened his eyes and sat up; he was still in that lousy motel room. He was alone, and the feeling of Matt’s soft lips on his skin was only reminiscence. Mello wasn’t dead yet, but he was in hell already. The only thing he could do now was to pray to atone for his sins. He made the sign of the cross and folded his hands.

“ _Virgin Mary, Holy Mother... please lead me through the darkness and give me strength. Please absolve Matt from his sins. I will charge of all his guilt but please take his soul to you... I beg you... please don’t let him suffer.” Mello whispered and rested his forehead on his hands, missing his rosary. He felt extremely vulnerable without it, he wore it nearly all the time. Taking his rosary away was degrading for him, especially in front of a stranger._

_“Holy Mother, have mercy on my soul... because I’m weak... I need your strength to fight against my evil side...”_ Matt was a good guy, Mello knew that. All the bad things he had done were just because of him, because he loved him limitlessly. Mello was wondering if he survived to have a second chance, to make up for all the wrong things he had done in his life. _“In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.”_ Mello crossed himself again, then looked around. The room was empty, he wondered where L was.

 

Light unlocked the door and entered the room. Dim grey daylight was shining through the entrance and Mello noticed that it was raining outside.  _‘The angels are mourning you, Matt.’_

“You’re awake. Good.”

“What time is it?”

“Almost noon.” Light locked the door and put the keys on the small table. “Got you breakfast.” He walked to the younger boy and handed him a large coffee-to-go and a small paper bag. Light himself was drinking from a smaller paper cup. Mello smelled the scent of hot coffee, it was a welcome feeling. He opened the paper bag and found a chocolate muffin inside. Was it a coincidence? His mouth was already watering, but he didn’t dare to taste anything. “It’s not poisoned.” Light took a sip from Mello’s coffee and wanted to take the muffin but Mello nodded.

“Okay. Uhm... thanks... I suppose.”

“I already told you, you’re not my hostage.” Light walked towards the small table and turned on the TV.

“Then why are you holding me like a prisoner?” Mello snarled at him.

“For your safety.” Light zapped through the channels. “And prisoners don’t get coffee and muffins for breakfast.”

“Where are we by the way? Couldn’t you find anything better?” The blonde lamented.

“In a cheap motel just outside Tokyo. Not a nice place in fact but nobody would care about us here.”

Mello took a sip of coffee. The warm feeling in his stomach made him feel a little better. He didn’t know for how long he hadn’t eaten, more than a day for sure. Yesterday he felt too bad to eat anything, not even chocolate. Only a shot of cocaine kept him focused on his task. Matt had scolded him for that, but he didn’t care at that moment, he needed it too much. Mello remembered their last kiss, the last look Matt gave him before they parted. He wanted to cry again, but he couldn’t, not now, not in front of L.

Mello’s attention got caught by the news on the TV. <...A big fire burnt down the truck and the old building. Two bodies were found inside the truck. One belonged to Miss Takada and the other one to her still unknown kidnapper. It’s still a mystery how everything was set on fire, maybe gasoline has been used. Stay tuned for updates.> Light was sitting on the chair in front of the TV and listened, his face deadpan. Mello stood up and walked closer to the TV.

“That’s... that was my lorry.” Light nodded. “But... how did they find two bodies? You took me out from there.”

“Well, since you’re supposed to be dead, I had to place a second body in there. No one knows your identity anyway so the body can’t be identified.”

“Who did you kill?” Mello wondered.

“A random junkie.”

Mello was putting things together. “So you shot Takada in the container because she was supposed to write my name on the Death Note? Because she had one, right?” Light nodded and confirmed Mello’s suspicion. Yes, he has been right; he had to be dead by now. “And then you set anything on fire to erase traces.” Damn, that plan was brilliant. But something was still missing. “How did you know about the plan? I’m sure Near didn’t tell you anything.”

Light chuckled. “Do you think I didn’t make my own researches? As soon as I found out that one of Takada’s bodyguards was a member of the SPK I put her under close surveillance. I know everything from that call you got from Lidner.” Ryuk could be useful, at least sometimes.

“So it is right, then? You are Kira?” Light didn’t answer. “Don’t deny, I already suspected it way earlier than Near. I always knew that the second L and Kira is the same person.” Light raised an eyebrow and glanced at the boy with the mad icy eyes. The blonde brushed the bangs from his face, revealing a big and ugly scar all over his left side.   _‘I know who you are. I know everything. I even know that the stupid girlfriend of yours is the second Kira. I spied on her with Matt.’_  Mello thought but kept himself from saying it loud. “Where is Takada’s notebook?”

“She wasn’t carrying it. Probably she only had a fragment.” _‘That boy is brilliant. Now I know why Near wanted him out of his way.’_  Light faced Mello and studied him briefly. “If you’re sure that I am Kira, you have to do anything but trust me.”

“Why?” Mello threw in, his tone quite aggressive now.

“Because I know your real name, Mihael Keehl.” It sounded like a threat. Mello’s eyes widened, his mouth fell open.

_‘Of course he knows my name.’_  Mello’s thoughts were racing. Fast, finding a way to get even the slightest advantage from this situation. “Okay, I got it. But if you want to treat me as your ally at least tell me your real name.” Light eyed him badly. “It’s called fair play, you know!” The blonde snapped.

Light understood that he needed a lot of patience with Mello. “I’m Light Yagami.”

Mello tried his best to not laugh.  _‘I’m still in. The race is not over. I got Kira before you, sheep.’_  The blonde boy munched at the chocolate muffin. It was good, finally he felt his craving for chocolate soothed, at least for now. “You know, Light fucking Yagami, I still have to figure out if I’m willing to cooperate with you.”

“I’m not in a rush. You can take your time. I want the situation to calm down anyway.”

_‘He needs me. He needs me for Near’s name. So he has to play along with my will.’_ Mello didn’t say anything anymore. He finished his coffee and lie on the bed again.

Light couldn’t understand him. Mello escaped death, he had a second chance, he had the possibility to beat Near, he even has found Kira or L or whatever he was looking for. But why was he so incredibly sad about that? Not that Light expected gratitude but at least a reaction, but nothing seemed to come from Mello’s side. He seemed distant and to care about anything. Light was missing something, but what?

 

\---

 

It was hours later as Mello sat up and his ice blue eyes found Light’s amber ones.  _‘Why does he look like he was crying?’_  If the blonde was truly sad about something maybe acting caring to him would make him get something. That guy seemed to be a real mystery but Light would solve the riddle.

“Are you hungry?” Mello nodded. Not that he really was, but he felt weak, maybe eating something would help. “I can drive to get us something or...” Light took a flyer. “We just call us a pizza.”

“How American. Pizza will be fine.” He always did that with Matt and he was already missing it terribly. Not that Mello really wanted pizza at that moment, but he didn’t feel to stay alone. Something about this Light Yagami made him feel safe, his pain felt slightly soothed. Why did he remind him at Matt so much?

“Good. Pick one and I’ll call.”

 

The delivery guy arrived and Light paid him cash. Mello was zapping through the TV, waiting for any news about what happened the day before. Both boys ate in silence. Mello seemed to be a quite voracious guy, he finished his pizza while Light had more than a half left. He offered a slice to Mello who accepted gladly. He needed to eat more. Light thought the blonde was way too skinny.

<The NPA just confirmed that there might be a third prey along with the two dead victims.> Mello’s attention got caught by the TV news. <Light Yagami, member of the Intelligent Department of the Japanese Police Force is missing, his body not been found at the incident site. His car has been found open and empty nearby, he must have tried to save Miss Takada from the flames but all trace of him disappeared. The police suspect that he was abducted, if he is dead or alive is still not known. Yagami is only 23 years old, is approximately 180 cm tall...> A picture of Light was displayed on the screen while the police officer described him. Mello looked at Light; a victorious smirk appeared on the brunette’s lips.

“You faked your own kidnapping?” Light didn’t answer but it was obvious that it was all part of his plan. “But how... they found your car there.”

“They found my car, my mobile phone, my ID and my credit cards.”

Mello put down the slice of pizza. He was connecting the dots. “You faked your own disappear because Near suspected you to be Kira. And you faked mine, so he would feel victorious, and we could operate from the underground, isn’t it?” Light nodded. “You spied the conversation I had with Lidner on phone and found out where I had to bring Takada. Then you brought a car to the place, the one you used to stop me on the road and to bring me here. But yesterday you arrived with another car. The one you usually drive.”

“Exactly.”  _‘That guy is damn smart. We’re already on the same wavelength.’_  Light noticed, pleased about his decision to spare his miserable life and to get him in his clutches.

“Just one thing bugs me. How the fuck did you get back after you left the first car there?”

Light raised an eyebrow. “Public transport? We’re in Japan, not in California.”

Mello shook his head and resumed eating. He looked at the leftover pizza. “You’re gonna eat it?” Light shook his head. “Can I have it?”

“Go for it.”

“You know what? Japanese pizza is truly disgusting.” Light rolled his eyes. He had to have lots of patience with this brat.

 

\---

 

Mello didn’t seem to be interested in cooperating with Light yet. He didn’t seem interested in anything. Mello was just lying on the bed and watching TV all the time. Light waited for a debate later that evening regarding the case and the supposed new spokesperson for Kira. Mello halfway slept for an hour or two; Light never let him out of sight while sitting in front of his laptop, catching whoever knows what information. After a while the blonde woke up and stirred.

“Can I have some coffee?” He cried out dramatically.

Light nodded and put his laptop away. “You need anything else?”

“Like?” The blonde provoked him by biting his lower lip but Light didn’t seem to get it.

“I don’t know. Clothes, or cigarettes or whatever...”

“You’re going to spoil me, yeah?” Mello grinned cunningly.

“I don’t see the reason to refuse your requests.” Light sighed. “There’s a mall about 5 minutes by car from here.”

“Whole Japan is looking for you and you run around in a mall?”

“I’m just an average guy. I’m not even dressed like usually do. I would never wear sports clothes. Or baseball caps.” Mello raised an eyebrow and shrugged. Not that he cared much. “So if you tell me what you necessitate...” Light sighed and stood up.

Mello thought about what he needed. “I need a thicker hoodie. I’m not used to the cold here and this shithole has no decent heating. Some sportswear, underwear to change and sneakers. I only have my boots and I can’t run around with my own clothes. Toothbrush and comb-”

“Already got that.” Light huffed, Mello was already annoying him.

“Can I have booze?”

“No.”

“Okay, then chocolate.”

Light threw on his outerwear, took the keys and left the room. Of course he locked the door behind. Mello could easily break out of the room, but he didn’t mean to escape. Where was he supposed to go anyway? He left the bed and looked around. Light’s travel bag was right there, unattended.  _‘Well, well.’_  Mello rummaged through the travel bag. A laptop computer caught his attention, he didn’t try to hack it, though. It wasn’t an impossible thing for him to bypass the password, but he was sure Light wasn’t that stupid to leave it there without proper safety measurements.  Maybe he got an email warning on his mobile, or something like that, if someone tried to force his system. Various false ID cards and passports, credit cards, cash showed that Light had planned anything in advance. Apart from that, Mello didn’t find anything worth notice, just some clothes, more clothes, his own leather clothes, no weapons or the notebook he was looking for.  _‘Damn. Where the fuck is my Beretta?’_  Mello picked his rosary from a side-slip and sent a prayer to the Virgin Mary, then he put the precious item back in Light’s bag and went to the bathroom. Light was right, there was a small bag containing various toiletries. Toothbrushes, toothpaste, shampoo, shower gel. Light must have planned that they had to hide on the road for a while. The blonde gazed in the mirror, his ice blue eyes looked so grey and dull. Mello didn’t even recognize himself. He seemed a spectre, like a shadow of himself. He stepped in the shower and let hot water surround his aching body, while his soul cried relentlessly and imagined it was Matt’s warmth.

 

Matt embraced him from behind. He kissed the backside of his neck, his shoulders while his hands roamed over his chest. Fingers burning like fire traced over his skin, playing with his nipple and then, travelled further down over his abdomen until they arrived at his lap. Matt grabbed Mello’s already hard cock, he began to stroke him, exposed the head and his thumb played with the small hole. Mello groaned, he liked it when Matt touched him like that. He liked anything Matt did to him. It didn’t take him long to feel his peak building up, he had a lot of tension to release. Matt was good, he was perfect, as always. He stroked him hard, fast, almost hurting him. Mello thrust in his hand, one time, two times, and soon he climaxed. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead on the wet tiles.

As he opened his eyes, Matt was gone. His own hand still clenched around his softening member, traces of sticky sperm still on his fingers. “Matt...” The blonde whispered and collapsed on his knees. “I miss you so much...”

 

\---

 

Light came back about one hour later. He found Mello lying on the bed reading a women’s magazine he had found in the room, legs bend and bare feet thrown up, swinging almost coquettish.

“Husband, you’re back! Did you bring me a lot of presents?” Light didn’t answer and put the large paper back on the chair. “I feel like a luxury wife.” Mello chirped and smirked mischievously, playing with his blonde hair.

_‘What is he up to? He reminds me at Misa when he’s like that.’_  Light wondered why Mello was acting as if he tried to provoke him. He had to pay particular attention to this guy and his hidden purposes. A boy that had climbed up the ranks of the mafia at such young age was surely not one to underestimate. He was not going to make the same error as Near had done. Light was going to lure the blonde willingly in his trap.

“Don’t push it, blondie.” Light handed Mello the large coffee. “I got us some soluble coffee, so I don’t have to run out every time you cry.” He pointed to the water heater on the table. “Here.” He put the paper bag on the bed and Mello rummaged curiously through his new clothes. Parka, tracksuit, large hoodie, sneakers, everything he had asked for. But there was something specific Mello was looking for. He found a chocolate bar and unwrapped the treat. Mello licked the sweet and moaned aloud before pushing it in his mouth.  _‘What’s wrong with this guy?’_  Light asked himself once more.  _‘Why does he act like he is shooting porn with that damn chocolate bar?’_  Light took off his jacket and sat down, trying to ignore Mello’s obscene noises because it made him feel damn embarrassed. “Did I make it in time for the debate?”

“It’s beginning right now.” Mello raised the volume of the TV.

<The Tokyo Police has still not acknowledged the identity of the two criminals involved in the kidnapping of Miss Takada. The only certainty is that the man who threw the gas grenade was Caucasian of unknown origin, in his early twenties. He had to be shot down because he was retained a dangerous individual...>

Mello’s coffee dropped on the floor, the fitted carpet sought up most of the dark liquid. “That’s not true. He was not dangerous.” Light looked at the blonde, his expression had dramatically changed. “And he was only nineteen...” He muttered, staring at the TV screen.

<Multiple weapons in his car are leading the police to assume that he was working for a terrorist organisation...>

“Liars! He hadn’t any weapons, he hadn’t anything!” Mello yelled and threw the remote against the TV. Light was shocked about his reaction. Why was he overreacting like that? Were they friends? “That’s all a lie... he was defenceless!” Mello couldn’t control himself anymore as he saw the picture of Matt’s corpse showed on TV, his body shot multiple times. He almost couldn’t recognize him, blood was spread over all the deceased. The blonde broke down and cried, tears of anger and spite rolled from his eyes. But still, tears.

This was the moment Light was waiting for, the moment he could break in Mello’s defence. “Was that guy a friend of yours?” Mello didn’t answer. His face was buried in his hands. Light sat next to him and put gently his hand on Mello’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“You’re sorry? It’s all your fault!” Mello yelled at him and slapped his hand away.

“How is that  _my_  fault?”

“He died because we were after Kira! He died because he was considered an enemy to Kira!”

“Well, if you were not that fixated with getting Kira maybe he would be still alive.” The brunette hissed, feeling partially responsible.

Mello showed Light away. “Fuck off!”

“Mello.”

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Mello threatened him, his light blue eyes seemed to spit freezing flames.

<... police can’t say for sure who the head behind that organisation is. Fact is that whoever it might be, is considered to be sadistic, intelligent and dangerous...>

Light glanced at Mello, the blonde breathed heavily.  _‘Yeah, that’s what he is.’_  Mello looked quite disturbed, there was something behind all that Light hadn’t understood yet.  _‘Hard to educate, unstable, aggressive outbursts, violent behaviour, unpredictable, unmanageable ... that’s how Mello is described in Near’s files’._

“Well, since you kidnapped my sister and are responsible for my father’s death, I guess we’re even.”

“We’re not fucking even at all. The only person responsible for your father’s death is you. You didn’t think twice before sending him in the mafia hideout  _after_  I kidnapped your sister. And all this just to save your own ass. What a person you are, Light Yagami! Really one to admire.” Mello mockingly clapped his hands expressing his disgust.

_‘Vicious little brat.’_  Light was tempted to open his watch and pull out the piece of the notebook to erase Mello’s existence. But he resisted the urge, he needed just a bit of patience.

“And honestly...” Mello dropped his nasty attitude and backed against the wall, his eyes directed to the floor. “We wouldn’t be even anyways...” Silence. Light waited until Mello raised his cold eyes to meet his. A tear ran down his cheek and Light resisted the urge to wipe it away. “Matt... he was my best friend, my partner, my soulmate... my one and only love...” Mello sighed and collapsed on the ground. “He was my life, the reason I went on each day... and now... he’s gone... forever.” The blonde leaned his head on his knees and sobbed loud.

Light’s mouth dropped open.  _‘Mello is gay?’_  Was his first thought.  _‘One of the world’s most dangerous criminals is a bloody fag?’_  And though, the sight in front of him was heartbreaking. Light knelt next to Mello and pulled the blonde closer. Mello winced but Light kept his grip firm. “Just because we are enemies doesn’t mean I want to see you broken.” Light whispered. “I’m sorry for your loss, Mello. I truly am.”

Light was feeling bad for the blonde. He had never seen someone in distress like this. Not even his mother was so desperate after his father died. Or maybe he didn’t notice. For some reason Light could not bring himself to think Mello deserved it for all the evil things he had done to him and to others. His calculating mind though was already finding a way to take advantage from this situation, a way to break into Mello’s fortress.

“He wasn’t meant to die... it’s my entire fault...”

“No, Mello. He was sent to die, like you. It was all part of Near’s plan. He wanted to win without sharing victory. He knew exactly you were going to involve Matt in this. He wanted you both out of his way.”

Mello raised briefly his glance to see if Light was serious. He bloody was. “How...” He cleaned his nose on the sleeve. “How do you know?”

“I know.” Light didn’t _know_ but it sounded logical to him. He himself would have done the same if he was Near. Fuelling the hatred Mello carried for Near was a way to push him in his direction.  _‘As they say... the enemy of my enemy is my friend... at least for now.’_

It made sense. Everything made sense. Near just used Matt and him. Near always despised them both for their close relationship. Sometimes Mello wondered if Near was jealous, because even if he deemed Mello second to him, at least Mello had  _one_  person who truly cared for him and loved him. Near could never accept that. Light was right, he planned everything, so he could get rid of Mello and Matt and, at the same time, got Kira in one move.  _‘You’re going to pay dearly for this, Near. I will find no peace until I have avenged Matt’s death. I wanted to die yesterday but in the end, there is no greater motivation than revenge.’_ _Mello_ _gripped his hand around Light’s wrist._ _‘You will be the tool of my revenge.’_

“Light...” Mello whispered between heavy sobs. The blonde sat up straight and wiped his tears away. He was another person now; he looked cold, distant. A chill ran down Light’s spine at his sight. He also noticed how the large scar ruined Mello’s otherwise perfect visage. “I will cooperate with you... but there is one condition.”

“I’m listening.”

“I want to give Matt a proper burial.”

 

 


	3. Cheaters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light is a cheater and he has a pretty face, Mello is a cheater and he plays innocent. Both know more than they would ever admit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gone  
> My only friend, my only solace, is isolation
> 
> [Ghost Bath - Burial]

* * *

 

 

“What do you mean by _burial_?” Light raised his eyebrow.

“A funeral.” Mello explained the obvious.

“You’re not serious, are you?”

“Of course I am!” Mello hissed at him. “My boyfriend just died. It’s the least you can do if you want me to work for you.” With shaky hands, Mello tried to take the water heater but it slipped from his fingers. Light stepped in front of him, he gently brushed the blonde’s hair back and raised his chin to meet his ice blue eyes. It was a good thing that Matt had died, leaving Mello confused and vulnerable. It was a damn good thing; Light realized that otherwise he’d never been able to overpower the young Mafioso. Emotional blackmail was something Light wasn’t shrieking back, he’d do anything to win.

“Mello.” Light’s thumb caressed slightly the soft skin on Mello’s chin. The younger man just revealed to be gay and Light was damn good-looking, so why don’t use his pretty face to get what he wanted? It worked with Misa, it worked with Kiyomi and it would work with Mello as well. It was a dangerous game, Light was aware of that but he would never cross the line. “I shouldn’t tell you but... your emotions make you so much more human than Near.”

“You mean I’m more defective than him.” Mello slapped his hand away.

 _‘Woah, that was cold...’_  Light reached for Mello’s hand but the blonde avoided his touch. “I mean you are genuine and more practical. Near acts like a machine, thus he is more predictable.”

Mello shrugged and ignored Light’s wannabe compliment. He wasn’t stupid. He knew exactly when people told him he was pretty and hot and whatever to get something from him. Mello knew that  _very_  well.

Light picked the heater from the ground. “What do you want?”

“Coffee.”

Light walked to the bathroom and filled the heater with water. “Fine, I’ll do it. But how am I supposed to get Matt’s body?”

Mello looked at him, his eyes revealing spite. “That’s  _your_  fucking problem.” He threw on the bed. “Besides, you’re in the police, not I. You might have easily access to information you need.”

Light didn’t answer, his brain already figuring out what he could do. He had to do some researches later. The water boiled and he filled two mugs, added some soluble coffee and offered one to the blonde. “Your coffee.”

The blonde rolled and lay on his stomach, propped up by his elbows. Light handed him the cup. “That’s going to be funny, you know?” Mello looked up to Light, his lips curling into a cunning smirk.

“What’s going to be funny?”

“That a fucking cop and a mafia boy are going to work together.” Light rolled his eyes and sat on the chair. Damn, was that guy annoying. He preferred him when he was crying and mourning his dead boyfriend. “I do wonder who is going to kill the other first.” Mello giggled evilly, his fair eyes sparked of mischief. Something about those sharp icy eyes made Light feel uneasy. It was like looking into a demon’s soul. Not even Ryuk’s eyes carried that level of insanity deep inside.

“It’s me killing you first.” Light stated dryly and took the laptop from his travel bag.

“How that?” Mello’s attitude changed, he seemed childlike now, almost innocent.

“Because you’re annoying me, kid!”

Mello sat up and faked an offended expression. “You hurt my feelings.”

“Not that I care about.” Light turned on the computer. “Now shut up, I got some work to do.”

Mello reached for the women’s magazine and browsed through the pages. From time to time Light’s eyes glimpsed at the blonde; fingers twiddled with his long hair, legs kicked up and feet swinging in the air. There was something intriguing about him, he somehow reminded Light at Misa just that Mello was male and less annoying than her. Or maybe he was even worse but hadn’t shown his bitchy part yet.  _‘A male Misa is just what I definitively not need in my life...’_

 

\---

 

“Are good at hacking?”

“Kinda.” Mello zapped through the TV channels, he hadn’t moved since earlier. Light looked over to him but the blonde didn’t seem to have the slightest intention to show any attention for him.

“You know what, if you would help me I’m going to need less time to do this.”

“I already told you, I’ll start working for you as soon as I get Matt.”

“It is to get Matt!” Light growled at him. Mello rolled his eyes and sat up. He gestured Light to sit next to him; Light handed him the laptop. “I need you to enter the system. I do not have the login credentials.”

“You’re not able to bypass it?”

“You worked for a criminal organisation. I bet you’re faster at getting in and better at covering your traces.”

Mello studied the screen display. “What is that for?”

“To get information where Matt is located, which is his identification number and where his body is stored.”

“I see.” Mello stated coldly and sighed. “Get me coffee.” He reached for one of the chocolate bars on the nightstand and unwrapped it. Light did as Mello demanded and prepared coffee for both of them. He observed the blonde guy; he seemed to exactly know what he was doing. “He might be predictable, but he’s a cheater.”

“Excuse me?” Light sat next to Mello and handed him a cup of coffee. The blonde thanked him with a nod while sucking a piece of chocolate.

“Near. He’s a cheater, keep that in mind. Everything is a game to him.” Mello warned him. _‘A stupid puzzle to solve...’_ The biggest mistake was to underestimate the enemy.

“Okay.” Light sat next to Mello for a while, not talking, just observing him. The blonde browsed through various codes; he was fast, he was precise, and he was efficient. He was the right man Light needed.

“Did you learn hacking for the mafia?” Light asked him after a while of silence, only the TV was talking in the background.

“Nope.” Mello took a sip of coffee but didn’t move his eyes from the screen. “Matt taught me some stuff. I never was a hacker.”

“Oh, okay. Sorry.” Mello shrugged and Light tried to change subject. “Which mafia organisation were you working for?”

Mello didn’t answer, his eyes following the countless numbers on the screen. He held his breath. “I’m in.”

“Good.” Light took the laptop and moved to the chair. Mello didn’t seem to care anymore and lay on the bed again.

 

 

“Listen. Caucasian male, approximately 20 years old, red hair, tattooed arms, shot down because considered a dangerous terrorist. Time of death: 26 January 2010, 17:17. It is him, right?”

Mello sighed and nodded; he crossed himself and missed the rosary around his neck.  _‘Peace to your soul, my love...’_

“Unidentified individual nr. 685. He is located at the morgue in the west part of Tokyo.”

“What happens to the body?” Mello wondered, he felt the feeling of guilt crawling up his throat.

“Well, since he has not been identified and can’t be claimed, his body is stored until it’s going to be burned.” Light checked the details of Matt’s file. “This is going to happen on the morning of 29 January at the crematory south of Tokyo.” The brunette raised his gaze, Mello was sitting on the bed, legs crossed, hands folded and face hidden under his long bangs. He didn’t move nor did he react to Light’s words. Light imagined embracing the boy tightly and to comfort him, to soothe his pain.  _‘What is wrong with me...?’_ He reprehended himself after realizing that he seemed to have a weak spot for the blonde and his unfortunate destiny.

“Do you need his intact body or...” Light scratched the back of his head. “Sorry for the awkward question but...”

Mello licked his dry lips, his eyes were looking dull on the ground for some seconds before finding comfort in Light’s warm amber ones. “Ashes to ashes and dust to dust...” He whispered. “I just need his remains.”

“Okay, so... I’ll get him when... when he’s burned, okay?” Light wanted to sigh in relief. Stealing an urn containing ashes was way easier than a whole body. He wondered what Mello wanted to do with the remains of his lover, didn’t ask him though. Not that it mattered to him.

 

\---

 

Mello was zapping through the TV but found nothing interesting. It was all Kira, Kira, anime, Kira again, Japanese programs and movies he didn’t know and wasn’t interested in. Light was still browsing through his laptop computer.

“Maybe it’s too late to tell you but...” Light’s eyes moved from the screen to Mello. “If you’re Kira, it could become tricky for you.”

“How come?”

“The SPK planned everything ahead, you know. The fake attack, the kidnapping of Takada, her death, Matt’s death, my death... everything to blow up your cover.” Light raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. “I had already figured out that Mikami’s notebook is a fake one. Near needed to be sure about it, so he came up with this plan.” Mello reached for a chocolate bar. “It was necessary to make Mikami act on his own to betray you involuntarily. One of the SPK agents has spied on him for a while. Right now he’s making an exact copy of the Death Note and is going to replace it tomorrow in the morning once the bank opens. Mikami will go to the meeting tomorrow... if they’re still holding it, but I suppose yes... and will bring the fake notebook while Near has the real one. All this to expose you as Kira and finally get you.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Light wondered, he already had figured out everything but why was Mello telling him the specifics as if he was confessing?

Mello shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe you already even know everything.” The boy sighed and glanced at the fitted carpet on the ground. It was dirty, full of scorched spots from cigarettes and various stains that he didn’t want to know where they came from. He shivered internally and felt the urge to wash himself.

Light stood up and knelt in front of the blonde. He leaned his hands on Mello’s thighs and looked up to him. “Maybe it’s just your way to cope.” His voice told him gently but Mello shrugged. “A way to deal with what happened. You’re right, though, Near is a cheater. He cheated on all of us.”

“Yeah... He cheated on all of us. He just used us as tools to achieve his goals. I refuse to believe Matt’s death was necessary.”

“Neither was yours.” Light brushed a strand of hair behind Mello’s right ear, though he didn’t dare to touch the scarred part of his face.

“Ironically you blew up anything, fucking Near right into his ass.” Mello chuckled grimly. “But still, he’s going to get the notebook. You’re not worried about it?” Ice blue eyes stared fearful in amber ones.

“Why should I be worried about?” Light asked him, his fingers brushing gently Mello’s jawline. The blonde leaned in his touch.

“Because you’re Kira. As soon as Near gets your notebook, you’re fucked.”

“I never said I’m Kira.”

“You are Kira or you’re working for Kira, it doesn’t make any difference. Near is going to have the notebook, and he will to use it against us.”

“Listen Mello, I rescued you and promised to keep you safe. We’re going to figure out a plan to take the notebook from him, okay?”

Mello ignored completely what Light told him. “As soon as Near has the notebook, he’s going to write our names in it! He’s not stupid, he’s never going to believe hundred percent we’re both death!”

Mello seemed quite worried about. Light instead was relaxed, he took place next to the blonde and put his arm around his shoulders, promising him that everything was going to be alright. He needed Mello to trust him, he didn’t save him for nothing. What Mello didn’t know was that everything was running just as Light has planned. However, what Light didn’t know was that Mello was out of danger, since Near didn’t know how Mello’s name was  _exactly_  spelled. The blonde took advantage of the opportunity to have someone who comforted him, someone who even reminded him at his lost beloved. He knew exactly that the older one was playing him, but Mello was not a tool and he wouldn’t allow himself to get used by Light.  _He_  was the one playing all in, he had nothing to lose, not anymore.

“We could...” Light brushed a strand of hair away from Mello’s eyes. “We could just watch a movie tonight. Maybe there’s something on TV.”

“Yeah... why not.” The blonde glanced up, his ice blue eyes met Light’s gaze. Mello felt a finger softly tracing over his lower lip, he blinked while fixing Light’s eyes with his. The brunette couldn’t help but felt captivated by the younger boy, wondering how someone like _him_ could be that vicious. He kept in the background of his mind that this very same person had kidnapped his sister and caused the death of his father. There was nothing genuine about him, perhaps even the story of his lost love was fake.  _‘Evil comes with many faces... and Mello is one of them...’_

Light sat back and leaned against the headboard. Mello lay down across the bed, he rested his head on Light’s lap. The brunette didn’t push him away, on contrary he put his hand on Mello’s shoulder. He zapped through the channels and found a movie that seemed to be interesting. None of them talked anymore. Mello didn’t really even pay attention to the movie, he was just laying there and enjoying Light’s touch. It began slowly, the thumb brushing slightly his shoulder. Then Light’s gentle fingers travelled little by little upwards until they finally arrived at his hair. Mello closed his eyes and remembered how Matt always did the same to him when they were watching movies together.

Mello was beginning to question his ambition to become the successor of L. Who was L for him, anyways? He ruined his life, he lost Matt because of him. They had not the chance to live a normal life because of him; but maybe that wasn’t something meant for them in any case. Mello was beginning to question everything. What if he was wrong and now he had a second chance to repent and to atone for his sins?  _‘What if God is trying me... what if it’s a way to prove my faith?’_  Mello felt confused, the only certain thing now in his life was that Matt was gone and somebody had to pay for it. Even if he would lose his own life, it didn’t matter. How much was his life worth now? As the tattoo on his arm said  _born to lose, live to die_ , it wasn’t worth anything.

 

Light didn’t know how he ended up caressing Mello’s hair. Usually he disliked physical closeness, not even Misa was allowed to be that intimate with him except during the few times they had sex. And though it didn’t bother Light and it seemed to have a calming effect on the blonde. If he could get Mello closer just by performing such ridiculous endearments, he wasn’t going to complain; it was way easier than he thought.

Mello was halfway sleeping as he felt Light leaving the bed and turning off the TV. He didn’t mind moving though, partly because he was lazy and partly because he wanted to see what Light was going to do.

Light put away his laptop and drew out some clean boxer shorts and a tee from his travel bag. Mello seemed to be pretty deep asleep, so he was aware to limit all noises. He walked in the bathroom and turned on the warm water in the shower. The blonde was right, it was a shithole here and it was truly disgusting. Each time he touched something he felt the urge to rinse his hands.

Mello heard the shower in the bathroom and leaned slightly forward to spy what Light was doing. The brunette was stripping completely naked, unaware of the viewer in the other room behind him. Light was brushing his teeth and Mello took a look at the lean, trained figure, at the long legs, at the nice ass. When Light leaned forward to spit in the sink, exposing his butt even more, Mello felt his heart skip and his cock reacting to that sight.  _‘Fuck!’_  He waited until Light stepped in the shower, then he crossed himself with his right hand. That very same hand clenched around his hardening cock, stroking it roughly, fast, on the limit to painful.  _‘Forgive me, Mother, because I am weak...’_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mello is a horny little bastard. He mayseem weak in this moment but he's just confused and needs some time to cope with Matt's death.


	4. Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Japanese Task Force and SPK are meeting to take care about one big problem. Light Yagami.
> 
> Mello finds out something interesting about the notebooks. 
> 
> Matt & Mello flashback 
> 
> Warning: mild smut, drug use, explicit language

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The meetings held in secrecy  
> Evil company full of secrecy, again and again  
> The room is dark  
> Candles on the wall, they've been here before  
> The christian cross is hanging high above  
> The altar of GOD
> 
> [King Diamond - The Meetings]

* * *

 

 

**28 January**

 

Light woke up and stirred. He felt a warm body clenched tightly at him, a blonde head resting on his chest.  _‘Dammit, Misa...’_   Light’s eyes blinked to sharpen their view, it wasn’t Misa. It was Mello, closely cuddled up to him, both his legs hooked around his thigh. Light’s arm was embracing the blonde around his waist. It was an awkward feeling to have another person that close to him, especially if male. And to make matters worse was that Light was having the biggest boner  _ever_. His eyes widened from disgust, and he tried to push the blonde away but Mello was soundly asleep.

“Mello, wake up. Mello!” Light knew that Mello wasn’t the reason he woke up with a hard dick but having a gay male laying on him with  _this_  situation was making him feel soiled. Light shook the blonde, but he just groaned and embraced his waist tighter. “Mello!”

“Why are you stressing me in the morning?” The blonde mumbled, still not fully awake.

“Why are you using me as pillow?”

“Mmmh...” Mello purred, tightening his grip around Light even more. “I was cold tonight. You are so warm.”

Light felt awkwardly nervous as the other male’s leg was brushing his thigh upwards. “Get off me.” He pushed Mello away before he could notice the massive bulge in his underwear. Light jumped from the bed and put on some sweats in the try to cover his shame, he hoped it would sag down as soon as possible. The blonde remained there in the bed, hugging a pillow instead of Light. The brunette guessed Mello had a serious lack of affection.

Light heated some water and filled two mugs adding soluble coffee. “I didn’t know you’re such a lazy guy.” He put one of the cups on the nightstand.

Mello smelled coffee and opened his eyes. “I’m not. I’m just depressed.” He groaned and reached for the cup and a chocolate cereal bar.

 

“Is it possible that all the Japanese music channels put on only stupid anime-jingle-whatever-I-know-fucking-shit?” Mello complained and Light tried to ignore him. “Don’t you listen to decent music in Japan?”

“What is it now, Mello?”

“I’m tired of all this Kira shit in TV! I just want to listen to some metal music, or rock would be fine, too. I’m fucking bored, okay?” The blonde yelled hysterically. “I’m freaking out!”

“Music channels are on pay TV and here is no pay TV in this motel.” Light reprehended the younger male. He’d never guessed that Mello was such an annoying snotty kid. It was still a mystery to him how Mello was able to climb up ranks in the mafia and to blackmail the Task Force. “By the way, if you’re bored you can help me with some espionage stuff.”

“Like?”

“The meeting between SPK and Japanese Task Force.”

“So the meeting is held?” Light nodded and Mello’s eyebrow shifted upwards. “Fine.” He snorted.

The brunette handed Mello laptop and headphones. “I placed some spy bugs in the warehouse.”

“Don’t you think they will check the whole building before the meeting?”

“No, I doubt it.”

“Yeah, okay but... is your connection secure?”

“Both my mobile phone and my internet connection are encrypted and anti-wiretapping. But feel free to make it sure by yourself.” Light put on his sneakers, baseball cap and parka. He felt extremely uncomfortable wearing sports clothes, but it was a way to avoid unwanted attention; his way Light looked like an average boy of his age.

“Hey, wait! Where are you going?”

“I have something to take care of. I expect a detailed report when I come back.”

Mello remained speechless for a moment. “I have to do this _alone_? I already told you, I’ll cooperate with you only when-“

Light stood in front of the blonde, his amber eyes glared coldly at him. “Do not make me regret having saved you.” It sounded like a menace and probably it was one. Mello wasn’t the type to get easily intimidated, but he knew when it was better to keep shut. Light could think he was yielding and that he could command him around the way he wanted. Should he think that, it didn’t matter to Mello. He knew better what he was and what not, and he knew what to do to save his ass.

 

 

 

While Mello was waiting the meeting to begin, he tried to dig through the files on the computer but everything was encrypted. Even the internet browser was blocked. Of course, it was, Light didn’t trust Mello. He would have done the same. It wouldn’t have been impossible to hack Light’s notebook, Matt had taught him quite some tricks, but he decided to do not. There wasn’t anything interesting on the hard drive, he was quite sure about that. It might be a test to see if he was trustworthy.

As Light had foreseen, Near was suspecting him to be still alive. The members of the Task Force were worried that Light had been kidnapped, the SPK was sure he escaped because he was Kira. Mello figured out that Near was hiding his face behind a mask.  _‘You idiot, you coward, you fucking sheep.’_  Mello was furious, not only because he and Matt had risked their own life for this, with Matt’s death as result; but also because Near didn’t even have the balls to show himself for real. As it was planned, they waited for Kira’s proxy to arrive and to write their names on the fake notebook, so they could expose Mikami and get him under arrest.

 

 

Light was driving the car and listened to the whole conversation through his phone. He wasn’t that stupid to trust Mello’s report, he wasn’t that stupid to trust Mello in any way. He took advantage of this situation to test the young Mafioso and to see how much he could rely on him. Till now no warnings about hacking attempts on his computer arrived on the mobile.

 

 

Mello waited patiently until time arrived and Mikami had to walk in the warehouse with the notebook. Everything seemed to run according to Near’s plan. He wondered if the SPK planned to catch Mikami and to torture him until he told them everything he knew.  _‘For sure. They’re not going to let him go out of this without consequences.’_

As Near had planned, nobody died. Mikami’s notebook was faked and Near claimed to have the real one. He even said to be able to see a Shinigami. The members of the Task Force wondered how all this was possible.

<... It was all because of Mello...> He heard Nears voice explaining dryly, without any emotion. He didn’t care about his presumed death.  _‘And Matt? Doesn’t he even deserve credit for his sacrifice...?’_  Mello lowered his head and folded his hands. Light was damn right, they were both just a tool to Near. A tool to get rid of as soon as possible. Mello remembered the infamous call he got from Lidner. He regretted it deeply to have told Matt about this, to have him involved in this task. But how was he supposed to do anyways, they had no secrets to each other and shared everything. Near knew it, knew it all too well.

 

 

 

**24 January**

 

Matt was sitting on the armchair, he was playing WoW on his laptop computer. Mello’s phone rang. The blonde came from the other room, nibbling at a chocolate bar. He took the mobile and hesitated to answer.

“Who is it?” Matt wondered but didn’t move his eyes from the screen.

“Lidner.”

“Pick up. Maybe she has something interesting to tell you.” Matt gave him an arch smirk and extinguished his cigarette in the ashtray. “Or maybe she wants to suck your dick.”

“Ugh, hopefully not... needy bitch.” Mello murmured and shivered.

 

“It can be resolved by having a name written in the notebook?” Mello let himself fall in the armchair in front of Matt.

<That’s right.>

“Well, then... if I don’t do it...” Mello hung up, the mobile slipped from his shaky fingers.

Matt looked up, Mello was sitting there, head down, and was he trembling? “Oi Mel, what’s up?”

“N-nothing.” The blonde reached for the chocolate bar but nausea hit him, and he put the sweet away.

“Mells.” Matt knew exactly when something was wrong. They knew each other so well, they didn’t even need words to communicate. Matt hit the freeze button and put the laptop aside. Mello seemed to not perceive his surroundings. “Mello.” The redhead stood up and knelt in front of the blonde, his hand cupped tenderly his cheek. Matt froze as he met Mello’s eyes, his gaze vitreous and absent. “What’s wrong, love?”

Mello explained the whole plan to Matt, who tried to keep him calm by stroking gently his long blonde hair. Matt knew exactly how to soothe his boyfriend’s anxious feelings. They completed each other so perfectly.

“I just signed my death sentence.” Mello’s eyes were red and shiny.

“Bullshit.” Matt kissed his forehead. “I’m going through this with you.”

“Matt, no!”

“Mells, you can’t do this alone. I’ll help you.”

“But-“ Matt silenced his protests with a deep kiss.

“I don’t allow you to do this on your own. Remember the explosion?” Mello nodded. “I’ve sworn to take care of you. I’ll never forgive myself that I wasn’t by your side that day.”

“Matt… What if something happens to you?”

“You’re not going to do something dangerous alone. Not anymore.” Matt took Mello’s chin and looked firmly in his ice blue eyes. The redhead was seldom that stubborn but when he was, Mello had to oblige; it was their compromise. The impulsive blonde was usually the dominant one in their relationship but sometimes he had to listen to Matt. The quiet redhead was the reflective one, the one with the cool head; perfectly complementary to Mello’s hothead attitude. Mello liked danger, and he dared to play with fire often enough but sometimes risks were simply too high. “What could happen? We are invincible, together. Nobody is going to take us down.” Matt smirked and interlaced his fingers with Mello’s. The blonde grabbed his striped shirt and pulled him closer, meeting his lips in a hungry kiss. “What’s up, sweetheart? Need to elaborate?” The blonde bit his lower lip and nodded. He was still nervous, he needed to get distracted.

Matt walked to the other room and came back with a bottle of chilled vodka and two shot glasses. He pulled out a small sachet containing white powder from his jeans pocket before sitting down. Matt took a credit card and formed four thin short lines on the table. Mello sat down on the floor next to Matt and wanted to fill the shot glasses but his hands were still shaky. Matt took the bottle and did it for him, pulled him closer and kissed his temple. The blonde took a shot before rolling a bill and snuffing a line through each nostril. Matt was sprinkling some cocaine in a cigarette, sealed the slit and lit it up. He offered the laced smoke to Mello, who sat there with his head thrown back and waiting for the high rushing through his system. Matt emptied the vodka shot, took the bill and snorted the drug as well. Matt filled both glasses once more, Mello swallowed the content immediately. The redhead sat on the blonde’s lap and reached for the cigarette. He took a deep drag and blew the smoke in Mello’s mouth. He could feel how Mello’s cock twitched underneath him. The blonde exhaled all the smoke, grabbed a fistful of bright red hair and crashed their lips together. Matt returned and rolled his hips sensually on Mello’s lap. The blonde groaned, his teeth bit down hard on Matt’s lower lip, fingernails buried in the skin above his hipbones.

“I want to fuck you. Badly.” Mello reached for the cigarette and pulled from it a couple of times. Matt emptied his second shot, Mello licked the alcohol from his mouth, tongue played with the ring through his lower lip. This vodka cheap and tasted gross but they didn’t care. The blonde tossed Matt on the ground and took off his jeans and boxer shorts. He sucked at two of his fingers and let them slip in Matt’s ass. The redhead groaned loud, he couldn’t really keep that fucking mouth shut. Never. But Mello loved that about him. “Where’s the lube?” Mello took another deep drag while observing his boyfriend sprawled out on the floor, panting heavily and sending him yearning looks.

“Bed.” Matt couldn’t even formulate a whole sentence. Mello took another draw and passed the cigarette to the redhead.

The blonde came back, his cock already coated with lube. “Turn on all fours.” Mello took another shot of vodka, alcohol and drug already clouding his mind. He didn’t mind, though, and neither Matt minded. Sex on drugs was something they both found extremely exciting. Mello rammed his hard cock his lover’s ass, Matt moaned loud. Mello started to move in and out, the redhead finished the laced cigarette and extinguished it on the floor.

“Don’t stop...” Matt begged and felt sharp teeth biting down on his shoulder. “Kill me, Miško…”

 

\---

 

_‘Forgive me, Matt... Forgive me. I’d die twice if it could bring you back.’_  Mello came back to reality, a warm tear rolled down his cheek. His finger wiped it away and then brushed over the tattoo on his chest.  _Nihil fieri sine causa potest_. His right hand made the cross sign.  _‘Holy Mother... give me strength._ ’ Mello sighed and concentrated on his task again.

<Rester, Gevanni! Take him now!> Near’s voice talked again.

<You fools.> A Japanese male, presumed Mikami, talked calmly.

Mello heard a female scream, followed by some shots. <Mogi!> Male voices yelled. Mello guessed they belonged to the Task Force members.

<Don’t shoot!>

<Let me go!> The Japanese yelled, he probably was in an unfortunate situation.

<Where is Light Yagami?> Near asked, Mello recognized anger in his voice.

<I don’t know who you’re talking about.> The Japanese barked aggressively.

<Where is Kira?> Near was losing his patience. It almost never happened and it meant that something was bugging him badly. Near used to act like that at the orphanage when he lost a game, which happened _very_ rarely. It was actually Matt who tricked him a couple of times while they played. And now something blew up Near’s perfect plan. Mello wondered how Near would react if he knew he was still alive.

<Kira sends you his regards.> The Japanese laughed evilly. <Nate R->

<Kira!> Halle yelled in panic. <He sees anything through his eyes!> Mello slapped his forehead.  _‘Lidner, you stupid bitch. This is not X-files.’_

<Pluck his eyes out!> Near commanded, yelling hysterically. <Stop him!>

Mello heard the Japanese man laughing again and then screaming in agony.

<He’s dead! He killed himself!>

<What if Kira is _here_? >

 

 

Light smiled victoriously as he put a small notebook in the inside pocket of his jacket.  _‘Well Near, looks like I win.’_ Everything was just as he had planned. He stepped from the car and walked in the motel room, curious to find out what the blonde was going to tell him.

Mello heard the door open and close behind him; he turned and saw Light standing there. His ice blue eyes widened, and he felt a chill down his spine. Mello unplugged the headphones from the laptop and raised the volume.

<Give me the notebook!> Halle yelled. <If Light Yagami is Kira and he is still alive, we have to write his name in the notebook!>

<You are not going to use it that way!> Near answered. <We need him alive!>

Light walked nonchalantly towards the small table while brushing his hands together for the cold, Mello was still glancing at him. Was he afraid? Light took the water heater, filled it and put it on its base hitting the power button.

<I’ll do it!> One of the Task Force policemen volunteered.

<No! Take that notebook from him! Lidner!> Near yelled like a kid. Mello knew well that Near was extremely intelligent, but he was physically inept either to defend himself or to attack someone else. He was weak and without his babysitters from the SPK, he wouldn’t survive one day on his own.

<Shinigami, how long does it take until the person whose name is written in the notebook will die?>

<Don’t do it, Aizawa! I refuse to believe that Light is Kira!> Light smiled slightly. Matsuda has always seen the good in people. <Not without proof.>

<It’s too late. In forty seconds everything will to be over.>

Mello looked at Light who was standing in front of the table, his back facing him. Mello’s heart was beating heavily in his chest; the brunette seemed to not be affected by the events.

<Twenty seconds.>

The water was boiling and Light reached for two cups.

<Ten seconds.>

Light was filling the mugs, added soluble coffee and stirred slowly the liquid. Mello hadn’t taken his eyes from him. If Light was going to die, he would be on his own again. He would be alone and had to live on the run. How was Mello supposed to get Matt back without his help? However, Light was incredibly calm.  _‘He isn’t really going to die, is he?’_

<It’s over.>

Light turned and Mello’s heart skipped. The brunette put the cups on the bedside table and sat next to the blonde. Mello’s face revealed confusion and relief at the same time. The blonde threw his arms around the other male’s neck, embraced him tightly, his hands pulled at his clothes. He was glad Light wasn’t dead, he liked something about him. He made him feel safe and the least thing Mello needed right now was to be left on his own, mourning for Matt. Maybe it was all a delusion, Mello was almost sure about it, but he didn’t mind. He needed somebody who took care of him, and Light did it in some way.

Light felt Mello’s face burying in his neck; he blonde was panting heavily, Light returned the embrace. Apparently Mello was already growing fond of him. Yet, it seemed almost too easy.

“What... how?” Mello pulled away from Light but as the brunette met his shattered fair eyes, he put an arm around Mello’s shoulders and drew him close again.

“It’s okay.” Light told him calmly, his voice was warm and gentle. Mello rested his head on the other man’s shoulder.

<Where is the Shinigami?> One of the Task Force members yelled.

Light typed something on the keyboard. “I’m destroying the bugs. We don’t need them anymore.” Mello nodded, he felt like his head was going to explode. Too many thoughts were rushing through his mind, too much information had clouded it. “Tell me what happened.”

“Before I tell you anything, explain to me why the fuck you’re still alive.”

“Legit.” Light reached for a cup of coffee and passed it to Mello. The blonde accepted gladly, held it between his hands to warm up. “I told you I kept Lidner’s phone conversations under surveillance.” Mello nodded. “Mikami switched the notebooks.”

“So you left because you had to pick up the real notebook?”

“Yes.”

“Was it you who killed Mikami?”

“It was Kira.”

“You mean it was you.”

“No. I’m not Kira.” Mello looked perplexed. He didn’t believe him. “I had to hand the real notebook over to Kira.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I told you, I’m not Kira. But I joined Kira after my father died.” The brunette lied.

“To seek revenge?” Light nodded. “You know that he died because of me, right?”

“I don’t see it that way. You see, as I asked for help to get the notebook back from you and your mafia gang, I didn’t get any. Near knows you very well, and he could have helped me. The FBI or the SPK could have supported me. But they didn’t. Because  _Near_  didn’t want to.” Light continued telling his partially false story. Mello was doubtful about his words, didn’t mind though. He knew that Light needed him safe and alive. If he wanted to get rid of him in a second moment didn’t matter. Mello would have the time to figure out a plan. Until then, he played along Light’s game.

“If you say so.” Mello shrugged and took a sip of coffee.

Light took Mello’s free hand. “Listen, I’ve lost my father and you’ve lost your boyfriend because of Near. We’re on the same side now. I have no displeasure towards you. We are both victims.”

_‘Because of Near or because of Kira?’_  Mello sighed and looked on the ground. He blinked a couple of times before meeting Light’s gentle eyes again. “What about the notebook in possession of the Task Force? The man used that one to write down your name.”

“That one has been switched as well.” Ryuk had revealed him the secret codes for an enormous amount of apples, and an enormous amount of patience since the shinigami was high for two whole days. “Both notebooks are fake. Near and the other ones from the SPK can see the shinigami because one of the pages of Mikami’s fake notebook is from the real one.”

“Where are the real notebooks now?” A spark shined in his ice blue eyes, Light couldn’t see it though. The cascade of blonde hair covered Mello’s gaze. Maybe he was closer to his goal than he thought.  _‘I want them both. And when I have them, I’ll destroy them.’’_

“I don’t know. Kira has them.” Mello nodded, he could believe him or not, it wouldn’t change a thing. Light interlaced his fingers with the blonde’s, noticing only now that he had painted his nails with black polish in neat contrast to his extremely pale skin. “Don’t worry, Mello. You’re safe with me.”

“Okay.” Mello freed from Light’s intoxicating embrace and lay down on his side.

“Tell me what happened during the meeting.”

The young blonde took a sip of coffee and told Light everything he could remember, every word, every detail. He played fair, there was no reason to hide something or to alter the truth. What if Light heard the whole meeting through another device? It had no sense to risk right now. Light should think he could rely on him and Mello would get what he wanted sooner or later.

 

 

“That was it. The rest you already know.”

“Yeah.” Light observed the blonde boy, he looked a little run-down. “You alright?”

“Those were quite an intense couple of hours, you know.” Mello stretched, his hoodie shifted up and revealed his Adonis belt. Light forbid his eyes to follow the shaped grooves downwards. “I need to relax. Can I have ganja or something?”

“Excuse me?”

“Weed? Grass? Marijuana?”

“Weed is illegal in Japan.” Light hoped it was just a bad joke.

“Yeah, I know. It’s easily accessible, though.” Of course he and Matt had already bought quite an amount of weed since they arrived in Japan; there was no way the redhead was going to stay one day without smoking a joint.

“And where are you supposed to get that?”

“Uhm... I don’t know.” Mello shrugged with nonchalance. Light wanted to strangle him. He deeply disliked the annoying brat trait of Mello. “ _You_  are going to get me some.”

“I don’t know where to get any.” Light made an attempt to dissuade the blonde.

“I bet this shitty motel is full of whores and pushers.” Mello sat up and smirked mischievously.

“You don’t really want me to get out there and to buy drugs for you?”

“Yes?” Mello glanced at Light. “What, are you not my sugar daddy?”

“No? I’m your boss now and protector.”

“Well, that’s the same.” Mello rolled on the bed and stretched lasciviously; the hoodie shifted up again and exposed his lower abdomen, showing his prominent hipbones. “I’d like to be your sugar baby.” The blonde purred sensually and bit his lower lip. “Come on, daddy. I’ll be a good boy.”

“Pf.” The brunette shook his head and reached for his laptop.

Mello’s mouth dropped open as if Light had turned him down. “You wouldn’t be good anyway! Your fucking face screams  _cop_  from miles away.” Light sighed of relief, buying drugs for his captive was the last thing he needed to do now.

 

Mello walked in the bathroom wanted to take shower to relax. He observed his face in the mirror, today it wasn’t swollen from all the crying like the day before. Not that he felt much better, he was still missing Matt as hell.

“My hair’s so dry. I need a conditioner.” Mello complained while combing his long blonde hair.

“You wouldn’t need it if you won’t shower every day.”

“Hey, this place sucks. I bet it’s full of bed bugs and disgusting stuff.” Light rolled his eyes. “And what do you expect me to do? I’m sitting here all day and am bored to death. You don’t get me any fucking booze or weed.” Light slapped his forehead, the blonde was truly a spoiled brat. “Talking about hair. What is something Light Yagami would never do?” Mello walked back to the bedroom, his hands still trying to detangle his mane.

“I don’t know.” Light raised an eyebrow. “Getting a Mohawk or dyeing my hair or stuff like that.”

“Exactly.”

“What?”

“You should dye your hair, you know? It would be less suspicious since you run around all the time.” Light didn’t answer, he refused to believe that Mello was serious. “You’d be a great blonde. I mean, not that you’re an ugly brunette but, come on. Look at me.” Mello’s thumbs pointed at himself. “Blonde boys are way hotter than-”

“Dammit Mello, cut it! You’re so...” Light interrupted him.

“I’m so what?” Mello spat at him and Light didn’t answer. “I’m so gay, you mean?” Mello stood up, his pride deeply offended. Light regretted his words as he noticed the hurt expression on Mello’s face. “What is it? Is being gay a crime against Kira as well?”

Light got up from the chair and closed the distance between him and Mello. “No, it’s not. Mello, I’m sorry-“

“Fuck off, Yagami. I don’t need your fucking pity.” Mello pushed Light away and walked in the bathroom.

 

Mello looked in the mirror one more time. He felt a warm embrace from behind, warm breath next to his ear, heard soft words telling him how pretty he was, how much he was loved. Mello felt a soft tongue licking his ear shell, teeth biting gently his jaw line, hands travelled under his hoodie and roamed across his chest, fingers pinching his nipples. A firm clasp closed around his hard cock, the hand pumping hard up and down. Mello closed his eyes, all he needed right now was to estrange from reality.

 

“Mello what are you doing? Are you showering?” Light approached the bathroom. “Come on, let’s go out and get you that conditioner.” Light wasn’t going to let Mello off leash of course, but he intended to give him the impression to be free to some extent.

“Yagami, you fucking cockblock!”

“What are you doing?” Light did the possible to not lower his eyes between Mello’s legs, his pants down to his knees. “Dammit Mello, are you really? You are... are-“ No, he couldn’t say that aloud. Mello was  _fapping_  in the bathroom without door separating him from the bedroom. Could one be so shameless? Light covered his eyes.

“It’s my way to release tension!” The blonde hissed and pulled his pants up. “But thank you, you just made my dick die!”

“Well, sorry! What the hell shall I know you are doing next to me? Do you have any decency?” Mello showed Light his middle finger.  _‘Don’t be harsh. Be gentle. That’s the trick.’_  Light took a deep breath to stay calm. “Come on now, let’s go to the 24h store. You could need a walk.” Mello raised an eyebrow glanced suspiciously at Light. “You said you need to release tension.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mello enjoys to annoy the hell out of Light. The blonde might be still mourning Matt but he can't hold back his mischief attitude.  
> Light could get bored otherwise.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	5. Painkiller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit different chapter showing some background about both characters. 
> 
> Light and Mello are getting closer to each other. Mello is trying to cope Matt's death with Light's closeness, even if he knows that he doesn't really care about him. Yet Light feels someway compassion for the younger one and allows him to get into his personal space.  
> Mello doesn't think twice to take advantage from Light's patience. They talk about past times and have some booze together. Like friends do, right?

 

* * *

 

 

Light and Mello left their room and stepped out in the coldness. The blonde had brushed his hair sideways to cover the left part of his face, like he used to do since the explosion. Light walked past the runabout car.

“We walk?” The blonde glanced up to the sky, it began snowing.

“It’s nearby.” The brunette turned and observed the blonde. Mello had pulled up the hood to cover his head, strands of fair hair fell on his porcelain skin. “You look like a girl.” Something about Mello was very feminine, maybe because he was so graceful in his movements. The sport clothes he was wearing weren’t revealing anything about his gender; Mello could pass both as girl or boy.

“It’s cold.” He hooked his arm in Light’s. “What?” The blonde looked up and grinned. “You said I look like a girl, so let’s pretend to be a couple. We would be a cute one, don’t you think?” Light rolled his eyes and shook his head, but couldn’t really withhold the smile forming on his lips. Mello wasn’t such a bad company after all. “You know, I can understand why ordinary people like to wear sportswear.”

“So?”

“It’s so fucking comfortable. I forgot about it.”

“Why don’t you wear them instead of those tight leather clothes?”

“First thing, it’s so damn anti-fashion.” Light rolled his eyes. “And second, it reminds me at my childhood.”

“Is it something bad?”

“It reminds me at how life was where I come from. It wasn’t... easy.” Mello sighed and tightened his grip around Light’s arm.

“What has that to do with sportswear?” Light didn’t follow Mello’s logic.

“Dunno, I relate the two things. Where I come from... people were poor as dirt, we kids were always on the streets and the cooler ones wore those damn tracksuits.” Mello froze at the memories. He reminded violence, so much misery and squalor. “I’ve sworn to myself I’d never live like that anymore. Way of dressing included.” It was like admitting defeat, Mello loved his origins but hated the environment where he had to grow up.

“Where do you come from?” Light wondered.

“I uhm... I’ve grown up between ex-Yugoslavia and Russia.” He admitted reluctantly without getting into the specifics.

_‘So he is not German?’_ The brunette asked himself but understood that Mello had been vague on purpose, so he tried to change subject. “Countries that had to deal with the consequences of communist dictatorship.” Not that Light knew a lot about European history but he could remember, when he was a child there was often something in the news about riots and violent episodes in the eastern parts of Europe.

“Whatever it was, it was devastating.” Mello glanced at Light, the brunette met his cold eyes, Light’s expression prompting Mello on to continue. Light was genuinely interested in the fate Mello had to deal with before he arrived at the orphanage in Winchester. He had always lived in a privileged environment, sometimes he forgot that out there were persons who were less fortunate than him. He wondered if this was the reason why Mello grew into who he was now. “See… I was born a month after the communist regime collapsed. Countries that once were isolated were forced to open up to a world where everything was thirty years forward.”

“Was it a bad thing?”

“I don’t know. There was a moral breakdown among people, there were riots and revolts everywhere. Economic problems. Conflicts about different folks. Judge by yourself.” Mello stated sardonically. “I don’t fucking care about politics... I don’t fucking care about anything. I just know. I don’t want to get back there. Ever.”

Light and Mello walked in silence. The brunette was recalling Mello’s personal data he read in Near’s secret file. According to it, Mello was twenty years old, which seemed to be true, but it also stated that he was of German heritage. Was the blonde lying or were the data inexact? Light thought about Mello’s words; if he truly came from a problematic country, why did he act this spoiled, snotty and hideously arrogant? What was the secret behind _Mihael Keehl_? Light wanted to ask him so many questions, where he was born, what happened to his parents, how he arrived to Wammy’s house. But instead of showing sympathy to the younger one, he reacted at the arrogant facade Mello showed.

“Well, I don’t think you have to worry about. You seem to have chosen the complete opposite environment. And you have set yourself well.” Light noticed, was there indignation in his voice?

“What do you mean?” Mello unhooked his arm and glared at him.

“I mean that on the entire world you chose to live in LA, the most superficial of all places, where everything is just appearance. And you seem to fit quite well in that milieu.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” The blonde hissed. If there was something Mello hated, was an unfounded judgement.

“Come on, Mello. You’re the personification of the average California boy. Blonde, pretty, you look like a model, you dress like a rockstar. I bet your life is all party and women... well, men in your case.”

Mello froze, he couldn’t believe what Light did just say. That asshole, who was he to judge? “I was in a relationship, you fucking idiot!”

“Okay.”

Mello grabbed the collar of Light’s jacket. “You know nothing, Yagami!” He shoved him back and walked away. “And for instance, what you said it’s a stupid prejudice. Saying everyone in California is shallow and superficial is like saying all Japanese men have a small dick.” Light tried to catch the blonde and to close the distance between them. Mello stopped abruptly and Light almost stumbled upon him. “And from what I’ve seen this morning, I can say that yours is definitively  _not_.” The blonde looked up, cunning smirk on his mouth, his ice cold eyes sparked weirdly.

“Since when are my privates your business?”

“Since you got a boner because I slept next to you, smartass.” Mello was dangerously close, Light could sense how their lips were almost touching each other. Light felt hot breath on his mouth, and he was terrified Mello was going to kiss him, but the blonde turned and walked into the shop.

“Mello!”

 

 

“Okay, I’m going to get us some food. I think all the drugstore stuff is over there.” Light pointed to the left part of the huge store. It was pretty empty inside and Mello felt like one of those horror movies he hated so much.

_‘Does he really trust me that much to let me unattended?’_  Mello wondered but didn’t care. He walked through the rows of shelves and looked around. Everything was colourful, crazy lights were shining from each corner and jingle music was playing aloud.  _‘I’m going to get crazy from all this shit.’_  Mello was already annoyed by all this Japanese-style stuff. A hit of nostalgia got him as he reminded how Matt was totally excited as he arrived in Tokyo. It was like a dream come true, he liked all that fancy stuff. For Mello instead it was like a nightmare. He liked the avant-garde and evolutionist part of Japan, but all those colours and sounds, that damn happiness, was totally annoying him.

Mello found the hair care section and browsed through the various products. His Japanese wasn’t that good but if the description said _extra dry and damaged_ it would be fine for his precious hair. He recalled the words Light told him earlier. Not the mean ones, the derogatory ones, but the subtle compliment in-between.  _‘Blonde, pretty, you look like a model.’_  Mello smiled slightly; he still had complexes about the large scar on his face. Matt always told him he was beautiful but Matt  _loved_ him. Light didn’t, and the fact that he found Mello attractive was good for his self-esteem. Suddenly his scar began to itch, like it always did when something bugged him.

“Yuri? Is it really you?” A girl about his age approached him. She must have mistaken him for someone else. Mello played the game and nodded, flashing a charming smile. “I can’t believe it’s you! I’m a big fan of yours! Can you give me an autograph?” She creaked loud, Mello thought his ears were going to explode.

“Yeah, sure.” Mello answered in Japanese.  _‘Who is this Yuri?’_

“Your Russian accent is so cute!” The girl squeaked while rummaging in her purse. She handed him a pen and a piece of paper. Mello scrabbled something in Cyrillic letters; the girl thanked him and wanted to leave but he held her back.

“Can you help me, please?” The girl nodded and was literally melting in front of the blonde boy. “I need specific pomade. What is  _marigold_  in Japanese?”

 

Light was waiting in front of the cash desk. “Where have you been all this time? It’s half an hour I’m waiting for you!” Mello put the full basket on the counter. “What the hell did you buy?”

“I needed some stuff. You’re going to pay for all my shit, right?”

Light raised an eyebrow and shrugged hopeless. “Yeah... whatever.” The cashier took all the items from the basket and typed the articles in the register. Light put everything in the shopping bags while Mello was standing next to him, arms crossed and watching amused the brunette. “What’s this? Cream?”

“I’ve sensitive skin. It’s cold here and my skin gets dry easily.”

Light shot him an annoyed glance. “You play the tough guy but you’re really a cry-baby, do you know that?”

“Ouch, that hurt.” Mello chuckled.

“Hair dye? Seriously?”

“Hey you’re going to control everything I buy?” The rest was all chocolate and cereal bars, beer cans and a bottle of cheap export vodka. Light glanced blamefully at the blonde who blinked innocently with his ice blue eyes. “To celebrate our victory for today. Please?” Light rolled his eyes and paid the cashier.

 

Mello and Light left the shop each of them carrying a bag. “Is public drinking allowed in Japan?”

“Yes, sure.”

Mello took a can of beer and offered it to Light but he declined. “Oh, that’s cool. In Cali it’s not allowed.” The blonde opened the can and took a huge sip of beer.

“I didn’t know you little anarcho-mafioso were one to follow the rules.”

“Usually I don’t give a fuck but I don’t want to get you unwanted attention, mister cop.”

“Really nice. I’m touched.” Light mocked the younger one. “By the way, seems like Japan’s much more modern and liberal than your beloved California.”

“Uhm.” Mello gulped down another couple sips of beer. “First thing, you Japanese can't fucking drink. This beer tastes like water. And second, we can buy weed legally.”

“So, that’s all what counts to you?”

“Nope. Honestly I’m not complaining. But drinking beer on the streets is much better, you know. I miss that from Europe. Come on, have a sip.”

“No thanks, really.”

“Sharing a can of beer is like becoming friends, you know.”

“So you want me to become your friend?” Mello looked at Light, he burped loud as he opened his mouth to answer. Light burst into laughter.

"Well, since we're supposed to work together its better we start to like each other, don’t you think?" The brunette took the can and drank.

 

 ---

 

"Come on, let's dye your hair!"

"Fine." Mello raised an eyebrow about the fact Light was so unexpectedly accommodating. "Tea?"

"Yeah, why not."

Mello took off the hoodie to avoid dye stains on the cloth. He tied his upper hair back and fixed it with a pen. Light looked closer at the blonde, he was just wearing a tank top. Mello looked so skinny underneath the loose sportswear but Light could ascertain that Mello was lean, but had some muscles as well.  _‘Of course he has, he was in the mafia, he surely has been trained to become a killing machine.’_  Light’s eyes narrowed over the countless tattoos adorning Mello’s arms, chest, shoulders and neck. They were beautifully executed black and white pieces, the blonde must have spent a lot of money for them, and Light guessed there were more underneath his clothes. Mello reached for the marigold pomade and smeared it on the scarred part of his face and shoulder. Light noticed how the disfigurement had ruined part of the tattoos on his chest and left arm. The burn mark was really big and must have hurt as hell.

"How did you get that scar?"

"I got burned in the explosion." Mello stated coldly. "The one where your father got fatally injured." Light tried to act nonchalantly as he grabbed a cup of tea and offered it to Mello. The blonde accepted and drank a sip. "Holy shit, that’s fucking good!"

"It's just sencha tea."

"Never had any." The blonde put the cup on the nightstand and began to work the dye in Light's hair.

“Where did you learn to dye hair?” Light wondered as he figured out that the younger boy knew exactly what he was doing. “Are you a fake blonde?”

“Nope. I’m a natural blonde.” Mello laughed but remained focused on his work. “I always dyed Matt’s hair.”

“Oh.” Light cursed himself because of his faux-pas.

“It’s okay.” Mello massaged the creamy dye in Light’s hair. "He was just too fucking lazy to go to a hairdresser." He told him, smiling softly.

“You dyed his hair blonde?”

“Red. He already was a natural ginger but he wanted it brighter.” Mello reminded with nostalgia. He missed to dye Matt’s hair, missed running his fingers through it and to smell at it when it was freshly dyed. How cruel could life be, Mello wondered and asked himself if he was really that masochistic to force himself in situations like this. “You hair’s already pretty fair. You’re just half Japanese, right?” The blonde looked closer at the natural shade of Light’s hair.

“My father is... was half American.” 

“Guessed so.”

“How that?”

“Well, you don’t look Japanese at all. Your eyes, your hair, even your skin are pretty fair. Your facial features are more Caucasian than Asian.” Mello was right, Light’s eyes were slightly almond shaped but bigger than average Asian ones, the nose was small and sharp, and high cheekbones framed his face perfectly. “You could easily pass for oriental Russian.” The truth was, that Light looked a lot like Matt. And that hurt Mello badly.

"Well, being mixed race is quite common in Tokyo." Light explained him. “What are your origins? Are you Russian?” The still-brunette wondered and the blonde was taking into consideration if telling him or not, but he got out of that situation easily.

<...Misa Amane, Light Yagami's fiancé, has an announcement to make.>

"Raise the volume." Mello obeyed and reached for the remote.

<I feel he is still alive... he has been kidnapped. Whoever has taken Light, please, please do not hurt him. I'd do anything to have him back. I'm open to negotiate.>

_'Dammit Misa, you're so stupid.'_  Light was definitively not going to miss her and nonsense acting.

<Miss Amane, you know that negotiating with terrorists is interdicted and dangerous?>

<But I love him.> She cried and hid her face behind her hands.

"Your girlfriend doesn’t know you're still alive?" Mello’s eyes widened.

"No. And she's not my girlfriend. Not anymore." Light’s lips curled into a cold grin.

"So you don’t love her?"

"Hell, no! I'm glad I have her out of my life now." Mello looked at the young woman who was crying for her beloved and felt truly pity for her. Weren’t they in a similar situation? How much suffering did Kira cause, was Light aware of that?

"So you had an affair with Takada, is that true? Did you love  _her_  at least?"

"No, Mello. I just used her because of the Kira investigation."

"Oh, okay."

"Are you judging me?" Light felt under accusation. It wasn’t properly morally right to play with people's feelings but he never really cared, did he? Yet to be looked at badly by a younger boy who seemed to have lived the perfect relationship was damn annoying, if not even degrading.

"No, I was just asking!" Mello _was_ judging him, but he wasn't better than Light. He had used his pretty face too many times to get what he wanted.

 

\---

 

"I'd say it turned out well." Mello looked satisfied at Light, proud of his work. "It suits you so fucking well, man."

Light observed his new appearance in the mirror. His hair turned out quite blond, the shade wasn’t cool and fair like Mello's but a warm golden colour. And the boy was right, he looked hideously good. The light hair suited his skin tone very well and let his amber eyes shine brighter. Light had always been in love with himself but now, damn he was just too hot to be true. "You think?" He asked with false modesty, eager for flattery.

"Mhm." Mello looked at Light in the mirror. "Wait." Mello's fingers combed through Light's hair, divided it the middle and brushed it downwards. "Suits you better."

"Having a gay friend isn't that bad after all."

"You're welcome, boss." Mello walked to the bedroom and took a can of beer from the fridge.

"Another one?"

"Hey, I just worked." Mello opened the can and drank some beer.

"Legit." Light was still admiring his new appearance in the mirror.

"Can we go out and buy cigs?"

"I didn’t know you smoke?" The freshly dyed blonde reached the other in the bedroom.

"Sometimes. When I drink. Or when I'm bored."

"There should be a cigarette machine outside." Light took his wallet and was about to leave.

"Oh, fucking great!"

 

 

Mello took the pack of cigarettes from the vending machine. Marlboro reds, the ones Matt always used to smoke. Light was already walking towards their room. A group of three men left one of the rooms on the other side of the courtyard and got in a big car. Mello recognized that type of cat, it was the one pimps used to drive. He smirked and walked in the direction where the men came from, brushing his hair over the left part of his face to hide the huge scar. A red-haired woman was standing at the halfway opened door.  _‘Well, well. Where there are sluts there are drugs...’_

_'Dammit where is he going?'_  Light turned and noticed that the boy rushed towards the other side of the motel yard.  _‘That little fucker.’_

Mello approached the prostitute. "Good evening, beautiful." He told her in Japanese. "Do you have a lighter?" The woman nodded and Mello took a glimpse through the open door. There were other four or five whores, and he guessed a nice amount of drugs as well.

"Do you need something, pretty boy?"

"Yeah." Mello smirked and lit up the cigarette, taking a deep drag.

"Hey what are you doing?" Light approached them and stared at the redheaded prostitute.

"My... boyfriend and I are looking for something... _else_ to smoke. I was wondering if you can help us." Mello took Light's hand and entwined their fingers. The prostitute glanced at them both. "Right, honey?"

Light nodded but he was tense. “Y-yeah.”

"I don’t know. He looks like a cop." The hooker pointed at the taller blonde guy.

Mello felt how Light stiffened and shot him a glare that told him to follow his directions. "Of course he does. He is one." Mello chuckled full of mischief. “When I’m a nasty boy he puts me under arrest.” He purred and his finger traced sensually over Light’s lower lip.

"Let them in." An older prostitute, about thirty-five, yelled from inside.

Mello wanted to follow the redheaded one but Light held him back. "Mello, those are whores." He whispered in his ear.

"I know."

"They are not women. They’re trannies!"

"I know. Play along with me, okay?" Mello’s lips barely touched Light’s. “And relax, you look like you’ve a stick up your pretty ass.” The blonde patted his backside and brushed their noses together.

The two guys entered the room. "Good evening, ladies. I'm Sasha and he's my boyfriend, Léo. We're in Japan on vacation and we're desperately looking for some weed." Mello’s exotic accent became stronger when he talked Japanese, Light noticed. “We won’t cause any trouble.”

"We're you from, kids?"

"I'm from Russia and he's from France." Mello pointed at Light. “But we both now live in America.”

"Moshi moshi." Light threw in talking in Japanese. "My mother’s from Japan."

“And what are you two doing here in Tokyo?”

“We’re here for the Comicon.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. There was a convention and Matt had hoped to visit it while they were in Japan. Mello sighted as he thought at his cute nerd boyfriend.

“Nice! And you’re a cop?” A young, pink-haired hooker asked them. The other ones rolled their eyes and Light guessed she, or he, wasn’t properly the brightest.

“Of course. Sasha is such a bad boy, sometimes he needs some discipline.” Light cupped Mello’s chin and raised it slightly, pressing a kiss on his lips. “Right, _honey_?” Mello did not expect that move and felt how his cheeks were flushing. _‘I can play too, Mello.’_

“Oh, you two are so cute!” The young hooker squeaked loud.

"If you're in for something else, we're off tonight. We have girls’ night." The older one gestured them to take a seat on the cushions on the floor.

"It’s okay, we just want drugs. Can we stay? We have booze in our room."

“Why not?” The boys took place and paid the whore for a decent amount of grass. “I’m Bunny, by the way. This is Cherry.” Bunny pointed to the redheaded trans hooker who was standing at the door. “Chibi-Chibi.” The pink-haired young one smiled girlish.

_‘Are we in a fucking Sailor Moon episode?_ ’ Mello wondered and felt Light’s arm around his waist and pulling him closer.

“Naughty Nico.” The male with long black hair waved his hand. “He’s usually a drag but today he was lazy.”

“I’m off, you bitch.” So-called Nico poured some expensive wine in a plastic cup. Light was disgusted at the sight; what a waste. “Wine anyone?”

“Hey, I go to our room and pick up some beer, okay?” Light acted easy but in truth he felt exploding in that shithole, he felt the urge to get some fresh air. It was like a personal nightmare; drugs, whores and even worse, he had to act as if Mello was his boyfriend. He wanted to kill him, literally. Why did he drag him in such a situation?

“No, the pretty one goes. You stay here and roll me a joint. I just painted my nails.” Bunny ordered in a tone that did not allow opposition. Mello took the keys and left the room.

“So he’s the pretty one of us, yeah?” Light began to grind some weed; even if grass wasn’t properly something he liked, it happened though that he had to deal with it while in college. Parties were parties and he was always the one who wasn’t wasted enough to forget how to roll up a joint. He couldn’t afford to lose his popularity among students. “I thought  _I_  was pretty.”

“You’re the hot one.”

Light smirked self-satisfied; he was the  _hot_  one. Good Mello wasn’t here right now. “I’m not very good at rolling. Usually Sasha does the job.” Light knew exactly that Bunny was testing him. He needed to relax more. A bit of wine would help.

“It’s alright.”

“I prefer to do other stuff, you know.”

“Like?”

Light raised an eyebrow and before he could answer, Mello rushed into the room again. “Vodka!”

Bunny gestured something to Cherry and the redhead threw a packet of white powder on the coffee table. Mello raised an eyebrow and licked over his dry lips while sitting down. “Chalk?” Bunny nodded and lit up the joint. “Babe, you should really learn how to roll properly.” Mello purred and grabbed Light’s wallet. “You’re always the same.”

Another male came from an adjacent room. “Who said vodka?” A tall, good-looking young man, slightly older than Mello was standing in front of them. His hair was black and shoulder long, his eyes chocolate brown, and he was patently not Japanese. He was dressed in faux leather clothes, very similar to Mello’s style. The blonde bit on his lower lip, that guy was actually something interesting. “Ty russkiy?” He rudely asked Mello in Russian. Light froze; he didn’t understand a word but was aware that this guy was testing what Mello said.

“Da.” Mello answered nonchalantly.

“Vashe imya?”

“Aleksandr. Ty?”

The guy did not answer Mello’s question. “I confirm he’s Russian.” He said to Bunny with a heavy inflection.

“Of course he is, didn’t you hear his accent? This is Borat.” Bunny pointed at the tall guy.

“I’m not Borat. That’s the stupid guy from the stupid movie. I’m Bozan.”

“I prefer Borat.” Chibi-Chibi embraced the tall guy from behind but he pushed her away.

“You’re from Kazakhstan.” Mello stated while using a credit card to form various lines of white powder on the table.

“Don’t pay attention to him, he’s always pissed.” Chibi-Chibi complained.

“’kay.” Mello took a bill from Light’s wallet and rolled it. He snuffed a small amount of drug through his nostril before passing it to Cherry.

“Hot blonde doesn’t like it?” The redhead asked.

“Maybe later.” Light shrugged and took a sip of wine. He was so disgusted from all this. Not that he was new to drugs but he didn’t like it.

Mello rubbed up against Light and neared his lips to his ear, pretending to kiss it. “It’s speed, not coke.” He whispered and brushed his lips on Light’s cheek.

“I don’t like cheap drugs by the way.” Light said aloud and put his arm around Mello.

“He’s a fucking snob, you know. Damn Frenchmen.” The blonde rested his head on Light’s shoulder and laughed. Light was amazed about Mello’s acting skills and at the same time, he shivered from so much closeness.

“I have something for you!” Chibi-Chibi chirped and gestured Light to get there. He did as she, or he said, Light couldn’t tell because Chibi-Chibi looked very girlish and the young hooker led him to the other room.

Bozan sat next to Mello and slammed two shot glasses on the coffee table. He filled them with vodka and they both drank it in one sip. “This vodka tastes like shit.”

“Totally.” Mello agreed and cleaned his mouth on the back of his hand.

“Borat, you’re always complaining.”

Mello laughed and rolled a marijuana laced cigarette. The Kazakh and he exchanged glances and, damn, was he hot. Some coping sex wouldn’t be bad that night. Mello needed something  _and_  someone as painkiller. Speed was poorly cut and the high wasn’t going to last as long as he hoped, and weed had never a strong effect on him.

“I’ve something better. Come with me.” Mello followed Bozan to the fridge in the cooking corner of the room. The Kazakh hooker took out a bottle of chilled Russian vodka and poured other two shots.

 

 

It was a while later when Light came back, Mello was sitting on the table next to the cooking area and talking to the attractive Kazakh. Light didn’t know why, but he was actually having fun that night. When was it the last time he felt so lively? Chibi-Chibi was cute, Nico or whatever his name was, was funny and they had several cups of wine together. Sometimes he glanced to Mello and hoped he would not have sex with the tall hooker. Was he jealous or just overly protective?

 

Mello was cornered by Zhandos, he found out this was the Kazakh’s real name. They were shamelessly flirting with each other; drinking, smoking cigarettes and joints, and drinking more. Mello couldn’t tell how much time had passed, maybe an hour or two. Or more? The vodka bottle was almost empty and finally he was distracting a little from Matt and his situation.

“Your Japanese is pretty good, you know.”

“I’m language student.” Mello explained.

“And your boyfriend?”

The blonde looked briefly at Light. “He’s a model.”

“And a snob.”

“Yeah.”

“And I bet he’s jealous.” Zhandos put his hand on Mello’s waist.

“Nah.” Mello shook his head and lit up a cigarette. “You know what? I’d love to see your pretty mouth filled up with my cock. And Léo is going to pay you for this.”

“I’m off tonight.”

“Can you say no to me?” Mello’s blue eyes blinked, he knew exactly how to persuade people. Zhandos smirked and filled the shot glasses once more. “Just one thing. Do you usually dress up as woman when you work?” Mello wondered and his legs hooked around Zhandos’ waist, pulling him closer.

“Niet.” Zhandos tried to brush the blonde’s hair out of his face but Mello avoided his touch and licked the other from his chin up to the tip of his nose.

“Good.” He purred and his lips curled into a mischievous smirk.

They emptied their shots then the Kazakh took Mello’s hand and led him to the restroom. Mello felt his mind clouded, he was only halfway realizing what he was doing. He didn’t care, though. He just wanted to get rid of all the anxiety he was feeling.

 

 

Light looked around, it was a while he hadn’t seen Mello. “Do you know where Sasha is?” Nico pointed at the restroom. Light approached the door and knocked but nobody answered. He tried to push it open but it was locked. Fortunately the door was old and he just needed to force it a little.

“What’s going on here?” Light went into the room and found Mello sitting on the sink, his pants lowered to his ankles, his head thrown back and eyes closed; the pretty Kazakh kneeling on the floor and sucking him. Zhandos looked up and Light gestured him to go out. “Leave.” He threw some bills to the hooker and he did as Light requested.

“Hey, come on sweetheart... I was just having fun. You wanna take his place?” Mello tried to act sensual, lost balance and fell on the ground with a heavy thump. “Ouch!” He tried to get up but stumbled upon his lowered pants. Light avoided to look at his exposed privates, and helped him to wear his sweats and to stand up. “I’m alright.” Mello wanted to push Light out of his way but lost balance again. Light caught him before he landed on the floor.

“Come on, princess. Let’s go home. You’re wasted.” Light felt pity for Mello, he knew exactly why he was acting like that. “What’s wrong with you? Your boyfriend just died and you were getting a blowjob from a cheap hooker?”

“I’m not wasted.” Mello complained but let Light take care of him. He couldn’t control a tear running down his cheek and Light brushed it away. Yes, he was totally wasted and Matt wasn’t there with him. He needed him but he would never be with him again. Another tear rolled from his eyes.

“Don’t cry, Mello. You deserve better.” The fake blonde carried the younger boy bridal style outside the restroom.

“Is he alright?” Chibi-Chibi ran towards them; Light glared at Zhandos.

“Yeah, don’t worry. He just drank too much. Can you open the door for me?” Chibi-Chibi did as he demanded. “Bye ladies. Thank you for everything, it was fun tonight.”

“Take care of your pretty boy. Maybe we can meet tomorrow again, it was nice!” Nico yelled after them.

“Why not.” Light stepped in the cold night, Mello tightened his grip around Light’s neck.  _‘Surely not.’_  As he arrived at their door, he put Mello carefully on his feet. “Can you stand?” The blonde leaned against him. Light put his arm around Mello’s waist to support him while searching for the keys in his pocket.

 

Light closed the door behind them and turned, Mello was standing close in front of him. He looked someway weird, but Light shouldn’t wonder, with the amount of drugs and alcohol Mello had in his system it was a miracle that he could even stand.

“You called me  _princess_.” Mello seemed to have come back to reality. “God, Matt always called me like that.” He glanced up to Light and took his hand. Damn, he was even prettier now with blonde hair. “You remind me so much at Matt.” Mello’s eyes were like the ones of an abandoned puppy in the desperate need for love and attention. Light stood there, he didn’t really know what to do. His mind was a little clouded but he was still able to reason, at least halfway. Mello stepped closer and Light receded until his back hit the door. He didn’t realize when Mello pressed his lips on his and as he did, it was too late. Light parted his lips and let Mello intrude his mouth, he felt a warm soft tongue gently brushing his. It took him some minutes to figure out what the metallic thing in the flesh was. He was kissing a gay boy with a pierced tongue and the worst was that he didn’t even dislike it. It felt weird and yet so good. Light’s hands were out of control, roamed over Mello’s back until they arrived at his butt and squeezed firmly his toned cheeks, pulling him closer. Mello groaned in Light’s mouth and deepened their kiss. The younger one cupped both his cheeks and didn’t let him go. Mello’s kisses were fierce and dominant and yet sweet and ardent. Light felt how the younger one was like burning fire, consuming everything with his passion. Mello tasted good, too good; Light could feel the  _danger_  in him.

Suddenly reason hit him. What the hell was he doing? He wasn’t even that drunk, how was he supposed to justify this to himself. “Mello.” Light broke the kiss. “Stop it...”

“No.” The blonde whispered. “I want to blow you.” Mello sucked his lower lip in before kissing Light once more. He walked them backwards, Light followed his delicious lips, lips that were literally devouring him. Mello tossed the taller one on the bed and threw on him.

_‘Dammit, dammit!’_  Light cursed himself as he realized that he was trembling in anticipation.  _‘I can’t do this!’_ _Mello sat on his hips and crashed their lips together._

 

 

 

**Los Angeles, one year earlier**

 

“Let’s go out and get wasted tonight.” Mello let himself fall on the couch and kissed Matt deeply.

“Tonight?” Matt paused the game. “But I’ve arranged WoW night with the guys in Amsterdam.” Matt didn’t miss living in the Netherlands. He just missed the extreme amount of weed he used to smoke and his two former roommates who were even worse nerds than him.

“Come on, babe. I had a hard week. Rod is fucking freaking me out.”

“Can we get wasted at home? And go out tomorrow?” Matt lit up a cigarette and started to roll a joint at the same time.

“I’m in the mood for clubbing. Editors is playing tonight.” Mello purred sensually and licked the shell of his ear. “You love that music.”

“Nah I don’t know, Mells.”

“What you don’t know, you little antisocial nerd?” Mello crossed his arms and glared upset at his boyfriend.

“Hey, I worked the whole day. I wanted to relax tonight.”

“Yeah and what better way than go to a concert, have some drinks and dance like crazy?”

“Mel, I’m lazy.”

“You just hacked fucking passwords today! It’s a whole week I’m running errands for Rod!” The redhead didn’t answer but focused on closing a perfectly shaped joint. “Matt, I’m your boyfriend and I’m asking you out tonight.” Matt looked at Mello, damn he hated it when he played the  _I-am-your-boyfriend-card_. That wasn’t fair but the blonde didn’t care. If he wanted something, he did everything to get it.

“But... but I already agreed with Jo and Rio. I take you out tomorrow, I promise. Please don’t be mad at me, princess.” Mello showed him the middle finger and took the joint from his hand before he could light it up. “I take you out for dinner, okay?”

“Fuck you, idiot!” The blonde lit up the joint. Matt was mortified but he couldn’t always let Mello win. The redhead took the laptop and resumed the game. Mello couldn’t believe his eyes. Was he really ignoring him? That nerd and his damn games. “You know what?”

“What?”

“You play and if I distract you from your silly game, we go out.”

“You’re never gonna make it.”

“Sure?” The blonde gave Matt his joint back and lowered on his knees. He undid the buckle and opened Matt’s jeans. Mello took him in his mouth like he was, soft and limp but this state didn’t last long.

“Oh fuck, Mel!” Matt groaned but continued playing. The dick in Mello’s mouth hardened soon, his fingers toyed with Matt’s balls and the redhead began to moan loud. Mello sucked and deep-throated him like only he could do. It started to become more and more difficult for Matt to focus on his game, but he didn’t want to lose to his tricky lover.

As Mello licked his balls and ass while roughly stroking his cock, Matt began to lose control. He closed his eyes, breathed heavy, tried to come back to reality, hit random keys on the board. Mello’s pierced tongue traced his whole length, licked precum and played with the small slit on his head. His cock twitched and Mello sucked him completely in, the redhead felt himself deep in his throat. God bless Mello’s non-existent gag reflex. Matt put the laptop aside and extinguished the joint. He grabbed two fists full of blonde soft hair, pulled gently. His legs hooked on Mello’s shoulders to shift in a more comfortable position. Matt felt a finger entering him, finding soon the most sensitive spot of his body. Mello knew exactly what buttons to push to make him lose control. If there was something the blonde was fucking good at, it was blowing Matt till he became insane, without any doubt.

“I-I’m close, Miško... don’t stop.” When Matt used his native language to call Mello, he was already beyond any self-control. Mello added a second finger in his ass and scissored his hole. “Oh, yeah... fuck!” Matt felt how his peak was slowly building up, he was almost trembling of excitement. Then all of a sudden, he felt pain in his inner thigh. Mello bit down hard in his leg and looked up, smirking evilly.

“You get the rest when we come back home.” The blonde licked his lips and stood up. “Come on now. Get dressed and let’s go.”

“But... but... you asshole! That’s not fair!” Matt complained, still high from his almost-orgasm.

Mello leaned forward and grabbed a handful of red hair. “Oh babe, it’s not my fault if you’re weak…”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mello is a little mess. But a cute one.
> 
> \---
> 
> Historical refs:
> 
> Fall of Communism in Eastern Europe:  
> \- the Wall of Berlin fell 9 November 1989  
> \- the Soviet Union 26 December 1991   
> \- the Breakup of Yugoslavia lasted 1990-1992
> 
> thanks for reading


	6. Resurrecturis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light fulfills Mello's requests but the blonde acts like an angry teenager. Traveling with Mello isn't easy.  
> Finally Mello can give Matt his deserved peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're gone. I only feel worse.   
> And what do I have to hold onto?   
> Longing, but what for? 
> 
> Loathed by all, but most of all, by myself   
> Am I dead yet, or simply waiting?
> 
> Ghost Bath - Dead

**Resurrecturis**

 

The alarm on Light’s phone was ringing. His hand sought for the device on the nightstand and checked the time, it was 08.30 AM.  _‘Oh, damn...’_  Light had the worst hangover  _ever_. He wasn’t used to drink, he wasn’t used to do drugs and at least not in such amounts. His body was stiff, he tried to stretch and there he felt  _him_.

Mello was laying between his legs, head resting on his stomach. Light’s eyes widened in shock as he remembered last night’s happenings.  _‘No, no no no... not really?’_  Light palmed his face. It took him some seconds to put pieces together. Light tried to move, but the blonde on him was heavy like a corpse. “Mello?” His only answer was deep breathing, Light sighed and tangled his fingers in the long blonde hair.  _‘Dammit...’_

He heard a mocking sneer. He knew that voice very well, but was it real or was that a side effect from last night’s excess? Light raised slightly his head and glared to the door. No, he just couldn’t believe it.

“What are  _you_  doing here?” He murmured, his head throbbing heavily.

Ryuk chuckled and levitated over the bed, glancing down at the two men laying one on the top of another. The newly dyed blonde felt uneasy. “So that’s the reason why you saved him? Looks like things are becoming interesting.”

“You have to disappear! If he sees you, my plan is over. I already told you to stay out of my way for now.”

“But he shouldn’t see me. He hadn’t touched the right notebook... yet.”

Light rolled his eyes. “Better safe than sorry, Ryuk.”

“You humans are strange. Get wasted and do things you’re going to regret the day after. But that’s what if find amusing.” The shinigami continued laughing and giggling much to Light’s annoyance.

“There’s nothing to regret because nothing happened.” Light hissed but his arms tightened the embrace around the sleeping fair-haired boy.

 

 

 

**The night before...**

 

“I want to blow you.” Mello tossed Light on the bed and threw on him. He sat on his lap, kissed him again and again, grinded his hips downwards. Light felt how his stupid cock was reacting to Mello’s teasing against his will. The blonde took off Light’s hoodie and ripped his shirt apart. Damn, the boy was really rushing it.

“Mello.” Light panted and cupped his cheek tracing his lower lip with his thumb. “Slow...” Was he really agreeing to this? The blonde nodded and kissed the tip of Light’s finger. He took off his own hoodie and lowered his head, meeting the other blonde’s lips. Mello’s kisses were soft and gentle at the beginning, but soon they turned out more and more passionate until it was just tongue, teeth and lots of saliva. Mello kissed his ear, jawline, neck, nibbled at his collarbones, sucked at his nipples, that damn mouth was pleasing Light all over. And the damn piercing in his tongue was making everything _worse_. Mello went along Light’s toned abdomen in an awkwardly and frustrating slow tempo, but therefore not less passionate. He shifted his body between Light’s legs, his lips kissed slowly the whole stomach downwards. He arrived at the waistband of his track pants, kissed and licked and nibbled at the sensitive skin above Light’s twitching cock. And then he stopped.

Mello rested his forehead on Light’s lower abdomen, he felt his head spinning, breathing was starting to get difficult. He felt a lump in his throat, his own heart pounding like crazy, his chest began to hurt badly. He felt suffocating, like drowning in darkness, his mind was shutting down. This state wasn’t new to him.

 _No, don’t panic. Keep calm, breathe deeply, focus on something._  Mello did as Matt always told him in these situations.  _I’m here with you, Mells._

_‘Yes, you’re here with me...’_

_Good boy._ Mello saw Matt’s warm and gentle smile in front of him, his mind began to relax.  _Mello_. He heard his name called from far away.  _It’s alright, Mello._

 _‘You’re here with me...’_  Mello felt Matt’s warm embrace surrounding him.  _‘With me...’_

 

Mello didn’t move anymore. Light wondered if it was part of the foreplay.  _‘Or...?’_

“Mello?” The blonde didn’t answer. His head was resting on Light’s stomach, he was panting hardly but didn’t react as he called him again, shaking him slightly.  _‘Damn... he’s on a trip?’_   The blonde did speed earlier, he drank a lot and smoked an enormous amount of weed as well. Maybe it was just too much for him. Light wasn’t sure if he was relieved or frustrated that it didn’t come so far. For sure he wasn’t going to regret it the day after. He felt how Mello’s arms closed tightly around his waist, his breath was calming down. Then he either slept in or was on a completely different level.

 

\---

 

It was right, nothing concrete happened. But how would Mello behave after he said Light reminded him at his dead boyfriend and literally wanted to devour him? Light felt disgusted at the thought of their shared kisses last night. Yes, truly revolted and ashamed of his actions. This was not going to happen  _ever_  again. He shivered at the thought.  _‘Is the blonde really manipulating me so far?’_ _He had to be more cautious, the sympathy he was feeling for Mello could reveal as fatal. Light brushed his eyes and sat up._

Light left the bed taking care to lay the blonde sideways and to cover him with the blanket. He took a shower and rubbed his skin to wash away his shame, then he made coffee, ate one of Mello's chocolate cereal bars and got finally dressed. All this while the annoying shinigami was following him around and asked him annoying questions, but he did his best to ignore Ryuk. Light left a written note on the nightstand.  _I’m back later._

 

“So? You’re blonde now? You wanted to match your new boyfriend?” Ryuk chuckled. “Is that your plan?”

“Ryuk, I’m driving. And he’s not my boyfriend.” Light tried to focus his attention on the road. He had to stop at the pharmacy to buy some painkillers because his head was literally killing him.

 

\---

 

Mello woke up. He opened his eyes but closed them immediately.  _‘Damn light...’_  He stretched and tried to find the other man in the bed. “Light?” No answer came. The blonde sat carefully up and looked around. He was alone.  _‘Where is he?’_  Mello held his head between his hands, he felt it was going to explode.  _‘Fuck... I knew it was too much vodka last night.’_  He felt his throat sore and the need to drink ten litres of water in once. Mello wondered what time it was. He turned on the TV, it was almost 4PM.

Mello walked in the bathroom. His reflection in the mirror was something unwatchable. His eyes were red and swollen, his lips destroyed by nervous nibbling, his tongue was hurting.  _‘Too much or not enough...’_ Mello reminded briefly the handsome Kazakh. Something between them happened, right? But he woke up alone, nobody was with him. Mello stepped under the shower and turned on the water.

The blonde felt better after the ice cold shower. He would have preferred a hot one but it would have made him sleepier. Mello knelt in front of the bed, folded his hands and recited first  _Holy Mary_ , then  _Hail Holy Queen_  and for last three times  _Saint Michael Prayer_.  _‘I’m weak, I’ve sinned, please save my rotten soul from all evil...’_  As always when he prayed, he felt an immense emotional burden in his chest.

After his prayer he made some coffee and devoured two chocolate protein bars.  _‘Where is stupid Light?’_   Mello felt extremely in a bad mood and frustrated, he didn’t know why exactly and shifted the cause to the hangover. He wasn’t really aware that it was mainly due his unresolved sexual tension.

Mello browsed through the pages of the fashion magazine and zapped occasionally through the TV channels. A while later, though, he got damn bored and Light was still not back. It was shortly past 5PM now. The blonde jumped from the bed and began to rifle in Light’s travel bag. The laptop wasn’t there, the false passports and most of the cash gone as well.  _‘Now wait, you fucking bastard.’_

Mello picked the lock and forced the door open. It wasn’t really difficult for a boy with criminal background like him, it was like making taffy. The blonde glanced up to the blue sky and took a deep breath of fresh air.  _‘Weather’s crazy here in Japan. One day raining, one day snowing and today... today seems like everything will be fine.’_

 

\---

 

Light parked the car and entered the old huge building. It was a cheap dirty hostel for students and nobody at the reception even paid attention to him. He checked the room number on the keyholder and walked up the stairway. There was no elevator of course. He heard people yelling like crazy, somebody having loud sex, other ones partying already. This place was even worse than the motel where he and Mello lived now. Light unlocked the door of room 707 and entered the apartment-like area. There weren’t many things around. Two laptops, two portable game consoles, two open suitcases, clothes thrown randomly through the rooms, as if they were waiting for the owners to come back any moment. A bottle of lube, a small see-through sachet with some pills, one with a tiny amount of white powder and a larger one full of weed were on the nightstand in the bedroom. Light picked up some clothes choosing the casual ones over the more showy ones. He grabbed both handhelds and all the games. He found a book on the coffee table, along with two passports and photo strip. It was a sequence with four pictures printed from a photo booth depicting two young men. A blonde and a redhead. They were smiling and kissing on the pictures, they looked very happy, young and beautiful. Light turned the strip.  _01.24.2010. заувек заједно - M2[ **[1]**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13737444/chapters/32362035/edit#_ftn1). _ Light didn’t understand the written words, but he understood the meaning. _‘They really loved each other.’_

Ryuk chuckled behind him. “You and the guy on the picture look alike.”

 

 

Light arrived at the motel and parked the car. “Ryuk disappear now.”

The shinigami laughed. “You need to be alone with your lover?”

“Can you not bother someone else? Go to the SPK. Keep an eye on Near.”

“I’m not your spy, Light.”

“If you want the things to be interesting, you should do as I tell you!” Light barked and threw a red apple at him.

“Fine, fine. Don’t get angry.” The shinigami chuckled and devoured the fruit, he found it amusing that he, a god of dead, he could also act as god of discord. Ryuk swirled in the air with excitement, eager for more entertainment.

“Take the notebooks.” The shinigami laughed. “Take them, if Mello finds them its over!” But the shinigami continued sneering and disappeared. “Ryuk! Dammit!”

 

Light entered the room he shared with Mello. Why was the door unlocked?  _‘Did he...?’_  But Mello didn’t escape, he was laying on the bed only wearing boxer shorts and sweatshirt and reading that stupid fashion magazine. Exactly the same way Misa used to do. The provoking glance Mello shot him made Light freeze to the bones.

“Why is the door not locked?”

“Where have you been all the time?” The blonde sat up and yelled hysterically. “It’s the whole day I’m here alone, I didn’t know where you were, I didn’t know if you would come back, I didn’t know anything!” It wasn’t true that he was waiting for him, neither that he was awake since hours. But Mello was a drama queen and he liked it to make others feel bad when he was bored.

“Mello, why is the door open?” Light barked at the blonde Mafioso.

“Because you idiot left me here locked in a room without any explanation! I needed fucking air!”

Light closed the door and tried to remain calm. The blonde could truly be an exasperating kid. "I left you a note." He picked it up from the floor. "Here." Mello looked at the piece of paper but didn’t say anything. “Got you some take away sushi.”

“No, thanks. I don’t like it.”

“Fancy boys like you love sushi.”

“I don’t eat any fucking fish!” The blonde yelled, what the hell knew Light about his food preferences.

“Why so touchy today, Mello?”

Mello threw back on the bed. “I’ve an epic hangover. I think I had too much vodka.”

"Yeah sure. Just that."  _'I know why he’s pissed.'_  Light moved the chair in front of the bed and took a seat. “We should talk about what happened last night.”

 _‘Great, time for a parent drill...’_ Mello rolled over and propped up on his elbows. “Okay, okay, sorry that I dragged you into a wild night but I needed a time out.” Light shot him a glance that told him  _don’t fool me_. “Have I done something wrong?” The blonde raised an eyebrow.

“Mello, do you remember what happened?” Light stared in his ice blue eyes.

“Yeah? I was drinking with the hot Kazakh and then we locked in the toilet because I wanted to fuck his mouth. But then I can’t remember clearly... I think he banged me hard because my knees hurt as fucking hell. Did you pay him for  _this_?” Mello murmured and pointed to the bruises on his knees. Light's eyes followed Mello's slender and tattooed legs from the ankle up to the thigh, licking over his dry lips.

"Can you get dressed, please?" He reached for the sweats on the floor and threw them in Mello's face. “You weren’t fucking him, Mello. As I came in you were sitting on the sink and the hooker was blowing you. You were so wasted that you fell on the floor and I had to carry you out.”

Mello remained speechless. His cheeks were flushing red and his eyes burned of shame. “Yagami! You are a cockblock!”

“Can you remember something  _specific_ from last night?” Light didn’t let him change subject.

“What is it? Did I harass you? Did I touch your ass while you carried me?”

“Mello, you told me I remind you of Matt.”

The blonde’s mouth fell open. “Fuck!” Mello buried his face in his hands.

“Do you remember?”

“No!” Mello was totally embarrassed. “It’s that... Matt always took care of me when I got wasted.”

 _'If he doesn’t remember, its better I’m not going to tell him anything.'_  Light took a small box and handed it to the blonde. “Mello.” The blonde’s eyes widened and a tear rolled down his cheek as he understood where Light has been earlier. “I got Matt.” Mello made the cross sign and held the box as if it contained something precious, something fragile. But wasn’t it like that? It was the only thing that had counted in his life. “What now?”

“I want to have his funeral on the most beautiful spot on the pacific coast.”

"In Japan?"

"Yes, in Japan, you genius!"

 

 

Mello and Light packed their things and left the motel room. The blonde didn’t talk anymore.  _'I'm not going to miss this shithole.'_ The blonde followed the taller boy outside. "Where's your car?"

Light pointed at the old grey Mitsubishi Delica van. "I exchanged it for this one."

"Why?"

"Because I don’t know for how long we're going to stay on the road. Maybe we have to spend a night or two in the van."

"Out of the frying pan into the fire." Mello murmured sardonically and Light shot him an annoyed glance while he opened the car.

“Sasha!”

“Someone’s calling for you.” Light rolled his eyes. “Make it short.”

Mello walked towards the Kazakh hooker who was standing next to the cigarette machine. God, he was even prettier than he remembered. “You’re leaving?” Mello nodded. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” He confessed after a long pause. The rude guy from last night seemed to have a weak side, something about him made Mello feel good.

“What are you talking about? You’re a hooker and we didn’t even fuck.”

“That doesn't mean anything. I fell for your beautifully sad eyes. For the sad soul behind them.” Zhandos caressed Mello's cheek. The blonde felt flattered, he gave a coy smile. Zhandos held some bills at him. “I don’t want it.”

“No, keep it. I’ve done  _this_ as well; I know how much you need it.” Mello pushed the money back into his hand. “Please.” He whispered and wished he could say something more.

“Where are you going? I want to see you again.” Zhandos sighed hopelessly. “I want to know why your eyes are so heartbreaking...”

God, had the Kazakh really a crush on him? It felt so weird. “I... I can’t... I uhm... I’m with  _him_...” Mello pointed at Light.

“Okay.” Zhandos nodded, he had already expected this response. He rummaged in his pocket and pushed something in Mello’s hands. “If you ever have the need to talk to someone.”

“O-okay.”

“And something else...” Zhandos smirked. “It’s not the crappy speed from last night.”

Mello’s eyes widened. “What? I can’t accept.”

“Yes, you can.” The Kazakh looked over to Light who had already lit the engine of the van. “You have to go.”

“Yeah...” Mello sucked his lower lip in while pushing Zhandos towards the wall. The brunette froze as the blonde kissed him goodbye, hard and hot. Mello loved it to drive people crazy. The Kazakh cupped his cheek and kept him closer a little longer. “Proshchatye...”[[2]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13737444/chapters/32362035/edit#_ftn2) Mello whispered against his lips and left. Having Zhandos’ number felt like a lifeline, if the situation with Light should become critical.

“Ya uvizhu tebya.”[[3]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13737444/chapters/32362035/edit#_ftn3)

 

"What did he want?" Light asked as the blonde came back with a sassy smirk on his lips. "Your phone number?"

"Not your business actually, but he has a crush on me."

"He's a hooker."

"Yeah." Mello took place on the backseats of the van. "And you're an asshole."

"For what you know he could work for Near.” Mello raised an eyebrow and glared at him. “Can you not sit next to me?"

"There's a laptop." He pointed at the front seat.

"I needed the GPS. Sit  _here_ and search for a place where you want to bring Matt."

Mello ignored Light's invitation and took the laptop back to him. The blonde lay down but his head hit on some boxes on the backseats. "What's in there?"

"Asshole got Matt's belongings and some stuff from the hostel where you two lived."

Mello's eyes widened as he opened the smaller box. He found Matt's shirt full of blood and bullet holes, his goggles, a pack of cigarettes and  _the ring_. The blonde took the cloth and inhaled deeply the scent of his lost lover mixed with blood and death.

 

The car ride was quite boring and annoying. As soon as Mello has found Nosappu Cape, the place he was looking for, he didn't pay attention to Light anymore. He has found Matt's portable consoles and headphones, so he spent the whole time playing, drinking beer and smoking cigarettes or joints.

Light was bored but glad that Mello wasn't complaining or crying or yelling at him. He turned on the radio and followed the news regarding the Kira case. There weren't new killings in the name of Kira and thus no new spokesperson has been found. Some journalists speculated about Kira's dead but authorities never released any official statement about.

Mello heard Light complaining from time to time. _Isn't that beer warm?_ or _Do you have to smoke weed all the time?_ or even _Mello, don't scatter tobacco all around the car!_ along with _Couldn’t you find a closer place? That’s about 1500 km I have to drive!_

 

"If the police stops us and they smell weed we're in trouble."

"Please, man. You have such a nice guy look, nobody is going to stop you." Light looked in the rear-view mirror and shot him a dirty look. “By the way... How did you learn to roll joints? Ha, I'd never thought you're the type to.”

"Well, you know... College parties and stuff. I was quite popular at school and was on a lot of parties."

" _You_ were popular? Mr. Asshole went to college parties?"

"Yes." Light stated with an arrogant tone.

"And you smoked ganja?"

"Not really. I just rolled. Everyone thought I was good at it."

Mello laughed out loud. "But you did other stuff, right?" Light didn’t answer. "What did you study at uni?"

"Criminology."

"Yeah... of course." Mello lay back again.

"And you? What school did you go?"

"I was at Wammy's House till I was fifteen. Then I moved out."

"And then? Where did you go?" Light tried to keep up the conversation but the blonde seemed to have lost interest.

“Not your business.” Mello told him coldly.

“What about the friendship thing you talked yesterday? Are you bipolar?”

"No. But now that I got what I wanted I don’t need to be nice with you anymore." Mello resumed the game and left Light speechless.

 _'He was just playing nice until he got Matt. Of course.'_  Light shook his head, reprehending himself at how the blonde fooled him easily with his innocent angel face. Good that Mello had forgotten about what happened between them last night. Two alpha males full of resentment in such a small place wasn’t really what he was looking for to experience.

"At least you could show some gratitude."

“For what?”

“For getting Matt? For getting your stuff? For driving you towards the farthest place in Japan!”

"What do you want? A blowjob in exchange?" Mello asked him annoyed. Light froze at those words. No, he didn’t want it, and he didn’t like the malicious tone Mello used to talk to him. Light wasn't sure the blonde had truly forgotten what happened the night before.

Light stopped abruptly the car. "You should better pay some respect, kid."

"Why do you think I'm going to do what you say?"

Light opened the glove compartment and took out a gun, pointing it to Mello. The blonde recognized the gold weapon, it was his one, the small cross was dangling from the shaft. Mello remained deadpan and completely unimpressed.

"You think I wasn’t trained to fight against an armed man?" The blonde said calmly, though his words sounded like a menace. "I ask you the same I asked your father. Have you ever killed someone, Yagami?"

"Don't push it, blondie." He warned him but Mello forced Light's hands to point the gun towards his own face.

"Don't ever call me princess again!" Mello hissed, then he shoved Light's hands and the gun away from him. His Beretta was dear to him, but he didn’t claim it back. Not for now at least. He was going to get it back soon enough. Mello could have patience if he wanted.

 

\---

 

Light was driving since hours and stopped at the service area. He needed some coffee and the old van needed fuel.

"Hey boss, can you get me some tobacco please? And skins? And f-"

"If you want something swing your ass off the car and get it yourself."

"Uuuuh someone's pissed. No thanks, I renounce at you staring at my pretty ass or you may get a boner." Mello licked lustfully his lips and Light felt uneasy at the sight of the golden piercing through his tongue. It reminded him something _specific_ that he tried to eliminate from his mind.

 

"Here." Mello paused the game and looked at Light who was holding a paper cup to him. "Coffee."

The blonde sat up and took the cup. "How that?"

"Just because you decided to not be friends anymore doesn't mean I think the same." Light held a small paper bag between his fingers. He had to be the nice guy with Mello, at least he pretended to be nice to him. It was the right way to get the blonde in his clutches.

Mello raised an eyebrow, took the bag and opened it. It contained what he had asked for. Tobacco, filters and rolling papers. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Light put on his glasses and lit the engine.

"You know boss, you look hot with those glasses." Mello smirked and resumed the game. Light shook his head and followed the GPS indications on the laptop. And though, he liked that Mello called him  _boss_.

 

 

Mello didn’t know for how long they were on the road. Light took a break and slept for a couple of hours before getting back on the road again. Mello spent his time sleeping or playing on Matt’s handhelds. His only feeding was coffee and chocolate. During the entire journey, he was holding the urn containing Matt’s remains in his lap. Light meant it was macabre but he ignored him. He didn't care, he had Matt and he was going to give him his deserved burial. Light didn’t understand a thing anyway.

Mello was in a state of drowsiness as he held the urn tightly between his arms, as if he was embracing Matt. Maybe it was only an impression but he felt warmth coming from the small ceramic item.  _‘Don’t worry, Matt. We’re going to save your soul. Mother will forgive your sins. She loves all her children.’_

Matt was laying next to him now, his deep blue eyes looking into his. Those eyes always had such a calming effect on Mello’s edgy psyche. The redhead smiled gently and caressed Mello’s scarred cheek, he kissed his forehead.  _Everything will be alright, Mells. I’ll always be with you._ Mello’s eyes closed, his embrace tightened around the urn and his mind shut down.  _With you, my love._

 

\---

 

"Mello, wake up." Light shook the younger one gently.

"Mmmh." Mello murmured and blinked. His eyes recognized the deep blue sky right before the breaking of dawn.

"We've arrived." Light held a small paper cup to him. “I stopped at the service area earlier but you were sleeping. Hope it’s still warm.”

Mello took the cup while rubbing his eyes. Damn, was it early. The blonde emptied the coffee and devoured a cereal bar before putting on his shoes and outerwear. He carefully took Matt's urn and glanced to Light. He understood that the younger one was feeling nervous.

“Can I have my rosary please?”

Light rummaged in his travel bag and handed Mello the religious item. The blonde took the rosary and kissed its cross.

"Okay, I'll wait in the car. Take your time." Light saw Mello’s anxious face and decided it was better to give him space.

Mello nodded and left the van. He stepped solemnly towards the rocks on the beach, holding Matt’s remains tightly against his chest. Wind was howling and it was cold, Mello took a deep breath of freezing air. Yes, this was the place. The small white lighthouse, the deep grey sea, the tiny isles. Everything was perfect. Mello felt it was the most beautiful place on earth.

“Look where I got you, Matt.” Mello whispered and looked north west. “There’s Russia. And there-“ He directed his glance slightly south-east, towards the other side of the immense ocean. “There’s our home.” He knelt on the snowy ground and put Matt carefully in front of him. Then he crossed himself and folded his hands, the rosary wrapped tightly around his fingers.

“In Nomine Patris...”

 

 

Light didn’t leave Mello out of sight, the blonde was out for more than two hours. In the meantime Light listened to the radio. The Kira case was still a big talk. L did not confirm Kira’s defeat, nor was Light Yagami declared as deceased. The police suspected Light has been kidnapped by Kira and to be used against L. Light knew that Near suspected him to be still alive and to be the actual Kira but it didn’t matter. He had Mello and as long as nobody knew he was still alive, Light had an ace up his sleeve. A powerful one. He just had to get that kid to work for him. Mello seemed to be more stubborn than he thought. Light noticed water drops on the glass. Mello was still on the shore kneeling on the ground and doing who knows what.

 

"Resurrecturis... resurrecturis..." Mello repeated the same word as a mantra.

"Mello, it's starting to rain. Come now, you'll catch a cold." Light approached him carefully from behind.

“Resurrecturis, resurrecturis...” The blonde’s tone was becoming more and more desperate. Light recognized those words, it was the Latin word for _resurrection_. "He's gone, Mello. He's not coming back." He reached out his hand. “Come now. Let’s go.”

“I can’t... I can’t...” A tear ran down Mello’s cheek. His eyes looked dull towards the dark sea. "I need to say goodbye." Mello’s trembling hand held a silver ring with gold decorations and kissed it.

“Was this his?”

“We were supposed to get married.”

Light froze at those words. "I give you a minute." He turned and walked towards the car.

 

 

 

**26 January**

 

Mello was riding him like crazy on the backseats, Matt moaned loud and his fingers squeezed Mello's sexy butt.

"M- Miško!" The redhead groaned and came right into the blonde's ass; Mello followed him shortly after as Matt's hand was roughly rubbing his cock. Jesus had the last dinner but they had the last fuck and it was  _damn incredible_.

Mello leaned his forehead on Matt’s, he was exhausted, his breath was short. Matt gently stroked his scarred cheek and pulled the blonde in for a kiss.

“Matt...”

“Don’t speak...” Matt’s hands traced softly over Mello’s spine.

“Listen...” The blonde sat up straight and locked Matt’s deep blue eyes in his fair ones. “Marry me.”

Matt remained deadpan for a minute, not sure he did hear right. “What?”

The blonde leaned over and rummaged in the pocket of his biker jacket. He took out a small box and opened it. Matt’s eyes widened at the sight of the small silver ring with gold decorations, the Zelda’s Legend one Matt wanted since ages.

“I want you to marry me as soon as everything is over.”

“Damn Mel, you’re fucking serious.”

“Of course I am.”

“When did you get the ring?”

“This morning while you lazy fuck were sleeping.” Mello smiled shyly and blushed. Matt smiled back and shook his head.

“God, Mel you’re just...”

“Yes or no?”

“Fuck yes, Mells! How could I ever say no?” Mello put the ring on Matt’s finger and kissed his hand. Matt pulled Mello down and kissed him deeply.

It was a very long kiss, maybe the longest they ever had. As they parted, they didn’t talk anymore. They got dressed and prepared for their task. Silently they were still sitting on the backseat, Mello’s head rested on Matt’s shoulder.

Mello’s phone buzzed. He checked it, it was the signal.

“It’s time.” He murmured, feeling a lump in his throat. Shaking hands put a small amount of cocaine on the screen of his mobile and offered it to Matt. The redhead dipped his cigarette in the powder, Mello inhaled it through his nostril and threw his head back, eyes closed. “Okay.” He said after a minute or two. “Let’s go.” He wanted to leave the car but Matt pulled him back.

“We’re gonna make it.” The redhead promised and kissed him. “And then we get married.” Both boys got off the car, Matt embraced the blonde one last time. “I love you so much.” He kissed his temple and stroked his blonde hair. “Volim te, Miško.”

“You’re my one and only.” Mello gave him one last kiss before parting from Matt. He had to do it now or he would change his mind.

Mello put on the helmet and sat on the bike, Matt took place on the driver’s seat. Mello lit the engine, his heel pulled up the easel. He glanced at Matt, the redhead winked. Mello smiled at him and drove away. His chest was aching, he felt like he was making the biggest mistake of his life.

 

 

 

 

[[1]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13737444/chapters/32362035/edit#_ftnref1) Together forever – M2

[[2]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13737444/chapters/32362035/edit#_ftnref2) Farewell

[[3]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13737444/chapters/32362035/edit#_ftnref3) I’ll see you

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's obvious that none of them is really sane, right?  
> I hope the story makes sense somehow, it's more focusing on Light + Mel and less on the Kira case for now)
> 
> \---
> 
> Cape Nosappu in Japan  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cape_Nosappu


	7. Drugs, sex, heavy metal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mello finally says goodbye to his beloved Matt. He also opens up a little further towards Light, the two of them grow each day closer. 
> 
> Spending nights at expensive hotels and drinking champagne can lead only to one thing.

 

 

Mello’s ice blue eyes looked up to the grey sky, then to the dark sea. He unfastened the golden cross of his rosary and took a glimpse of how much cocaine was left in there. He had either to swallow it all or... Mello rummaged in the pocket of his parka and found the half empty cigarette pack. He slipped off the cellophane envelope and filled the small amount of powder in it. He sealed the little wrapping with a lighter and put it back in his pocket; it was better to keep it for a later moment.  

Mello opened the urn containing Matt’s ashes. With shaky hands, he refilled the empty cross pendant and closed it firmly, kissed it dearly.  Now Matt would always be with him.

 

Light was walking towards the car as he heard a strange noise. He turned and saw Mello stepping in the sea, waves were crashing against his legs.  _‘What the hell is he doing?’_   The blonde opened the urn and scattered the ashes in the water.  _‘Is he crazy?’_   

 

Mello glanced towards the sky, wind messed up his long hair, waves hit him hard and it wasn’t easy to stand still on the unsteady ground. Mello noticed a darker spot in the water right where he had spread Matt’s ashes. As the redhead submerged from the depth, Mello’s heart skipped. 

“Matt?” He whispered. Was it really him or was he hallucinating? 

 _Mello._  Matt’s body levitated over the water.  _My sweet love... you have to be strong..._  

“I can’t... I’m so lost without you, Matt...” Mello’s feeble voice spoke, he felt his eyes dripping. 

 _I’ll always be with you._  Mello could feel a cold hand brushing his scarred cheek.  

“I was meant to die... not you...” 

 _You are meant to live, Mel. You still have to complete your mission. You've got a second chance._  

“What do you mean?”  

 _You’ll be the number one. You’ll to eliminate your competition, do whatever it costs. I know you can._  Mello knew exactly who Matt meant. Near.  _Do it, Mel. Do_ _it for me or I died in vain_ _._  

Mello touched his rosary. “I promise you. I’ll kill anyone who gets in my way. I’ll be the number one. And I’ll do everything to get you back.” 

 _Even if you’re a fallen angel, Mihael, God will forgive your sins._  

Mello stared in Matt’s deep eyes, they had the same intense colour as the sea. “And if he will not... if I can’t bend heaven, I’ll raise hell.”  

 _That’s my boy._  Matt smiled and kissed Mello’s forehead.  _Volim te,_ _Miško_. [1]

Matt’s figure was vanishing but Mello knew he wasn’t leaving him. He kissed the rosary and held it up to the sky. “Volim te i svoju ljubav.” [2] 

 

Light couldn’t believe his eyes as he looked back at what Mello was doing. He was standing in the sea, had spread all the ashes in the water, he raised both hands up to the sky holding the rosary. Was it just an illusion, or did a sunbeam hit the blonde? Light wasn’t sure, everything was so confused. Mello threw the ring deep in the sea, then he walked out of the water. Light was already hurrying towards him, the blonde’s lips were blue and he was trembling like a leaf, his clothes were completely soaked. 

“Dammit Mello are you insane?” Light took Mello’s parka from the ground and wrapped him up. “And why did you throw away the ring?” 

“Because it belongs to him.” 

 

\--- 

 

There was a service area not far away from Cape Nosappu. Mello was still trembling. “You should change your clothes or you’ll freeze to death.” Light rummaged in the boxes and took some random clothing. He led Mello to the restroom and waited outside.  

Mello couldn’t stop shaking and it took him a while to change his clothes; he was almost tempted to ask Light to help him, but was too proud for it. He put on what Light had given him, his Judas Priest shirt, Matt’s skinny jeans, his own biker boots and a plain black hoodie that belonged to them both. Apart being dry, he felt a bit more like himself now. 

“Better?” Mello nodded and pulled the hood over his head. “Let’s get you something warm to drink.”  

Mello took place at one of the tables and Light served him a huge mug of hot chocolate.  

"How do you feel?" Light sat down in front of the blonde who was holding the cup between his hands. 

"Not really better but a little relieved. I still... I still miss him." Mello took some sips from the sweet hot beverage. Chocolate always made him feel better in some way. He wondered why Light was so gentle to him, was he really that compassionate or was he just playing the nice guy? Mello didn’t believe in Light’s sympathy, the fake blonde was an asshole and totally self-centred, there was no way he would genuinely care for others. "Have you ever loved someone?"

Mello’s question came unexpected. "My family." Light answered after some seconds.

“I mean being in love... so really hard that it hurts... that it burns your heart.” 

"No and honestly seeing you in this state makes me glad I never was." Light tried to not be rude but it was his sincere opinion. Emotions were just stupid things that led people to do stupid actions. 

"I'd rather live the rest of my life in pain but I'd never renounce at what I had with Matt. Even if it lasted short. Life makes no sense without love, Light." Light shivered, it literally hurt him to see Mello so broken but so vehemently irremovable about his feelings. Light put his hand on Mello's, the blonde gripped around his fingers. "Light..." 

"Yeah?" 

"I'm sorry that your father died... really." 

Light brushed a strand of hair from Mello's face to see his ice blue eyes clearly. He was bloody serious, this was not one of his games. "Thank you." 

“It’s just strange, don’t you think?” Mello said after a long pause. 

“What?” 

“That you and I are sitting here and talking about feelings and stuff? We were supposed to be enemies and now, due a strange twist of fate, we’re here and we aren’t even trying to kill each other.” Mello sighed. 

“Yeah…” Light emptied his cup of tea and reached for his parka. There was something rigid in his inside pocket. Light took out the item and remembered.  _‘Of course…’_  “Mello.” The blonde looked up and met his gentle amber eyes. Light shifted a soft cover book over the table. Mello’s eyes widened incredulously. 

“W-where did you get it?” The blonde opened the book and in its inside he found the photo stripe depicting him and Matt. No, he couldn’t believe it.  

“Thought you wanted it back.” Light said softly. _'And maybe show some gratitude for once.'_

“I… yes. Thank you.”  

“What language is that?” Light pointed to the handwritten words in Cyrillic on the backside of the picture. “Is that Russian?” 

“No, it’s… Serbian.” Mello admitted reluctantly. 

Light felt he was finally revealing the secret behind _Mihael Keehl_. He had done a lot of researches about this guy but Mello literally erased all his traces. From the time before he came at the orphanage in Winchester nothing was known. “So you’re Serbian? But the book is in German, right?” Light was referring to the book title  _Sophie_ _im_ _Schloss des Zauberers_. Mello didn’t answer. “Why don’t you talk about your past?” 

Why didn’t he? Light knew his real name anyway, so what difference would it make if he knew where he came from? It didn’t make any, and Mello felt the need to ease the huge burden in his chest. 

“Matt is... was Serbian. I’m half Croatian and half Russian.”  

“Why don’t you tell me your story?” 

“Why don’t you tell me yours first?” Mello was on the defensive line again. 

“I was born and raised in Tokyo by an average family. My father was policeman, my mother is housewife and I have one sister, as you know very well." Mello ignored his put-down. "My life was quite boring honestly. I had excellent grades at school, was rather popular among the others but I never had any friends. Frankly I dislike most of people.” That was something Mello and Light had in common, the blonde noticed for himself. Mello disliked people as well and his only friend was Matt, maybe he could even count Jonnie and Georgios in. Light maybe didn’t even have that. “I went to college, studied criminology and criminal psychology, then I graduated one year in advance and began to work for the Tokyo police.”  

“Then you had to deal with me and the mafia, your father died, Near was after you and so you decided to change to Kira’s side, right?” Even if Mello didn’t believe the story that Light joined Kira only a few months earlier, he played along with. “Because your life was boring.” 

“Yeah more or less. So, will you tell me your story now?” 

“Yeah, in the car while you’re driving.” 

“What’s our next destination?” 

“Hmm.” Mello thought briefly about it. “I’m tired of staying in shitty places. I want a fucking expensive hotel room. I think I deserve it, after all I've been through the past days.” 

 _'Quite a pretentious princess.'_ But Light never disdained luxury, and a comfortable room was more than welcome. “Fine, let’s go then.”  

 

Mello sat on the front seat next to Light. “So you’re sitting next to me now?” 

“The backseats are wet.” Light laughed and shook his head. Mello took the laptop and looked for a luxury hotel nearby. 

“So, will you tell me now? The ride is long and I need to be entertained or I’m going to fall asleep.” Mello sat in silence and stared down on his hands. “Why don’t you simply rely on me, Mello? I’m really working hard to earn your trust. I was taking that friendship thing serious, you know?” 

Did Mello believe him? He didn’t know. But when was the last time someone had shown interest in him, apart Matt? Mello sighed and began to tell his story as vaguely as he could. “I was born in Zagreb but when the Yugoslavian Wars began, my parents moved to my father’s hometown, Moscow. I can't even remember, I was just a little child.” Light listened interested to Mello’s complex and troubled childhood story. Shortly after his parents moved to Moscow, the dissolution of the Soviet Union was declared, and life began to become quite troublesome there as well. Mello didn’t say it explicitly, but Light guessed his parents were involved in criminal organizations. They must have been quite abusive as well, because Mello didn’t seem to have a high opinion of them. At the age of seven both his parents died, he moved to his only alive grandmother in the recently formed state of Croatia. He lived there for two years and after her decease, the nine year old child ran away and crossed the border to Austria. He didn't say for what reason he left Croatia and how he arrived to an orphanage in Vienna, and six months later he was moved to Berlin to an institution for hard to educate children. At the age of eleven Wammy had found him and took him to the orphanage in Winchester, England. Light was literally shocked about Mello’s story, no wonder he had become a lunatic criminal, he never had any stability in life. Mello must also have been a sort of language genius; he spoke fluently a lot of different idioms . He also knew a handful of languages that _he didn't speak so well,_ as he said, to Light his Japanese was quite excellent.  

“So you have that book in German for what reason exactly? What book is it?” 

“German is just my favourite foreign language. I bought it when I moved away from England. The book is _Howl's Moving Castle_ , maybe you know it.” 

“No but I’ve seen the movie.” With Misa, of course. She and her stupid anime movies. 

“Yea great. I’ve taught Matt to speak proper English reading him this book over and over when we were at Wammy’s. It was my favourite story when I was a kid.” 

“Oh wait, so that’s why you have your hair like this? Like the wizard Howl?” 

Mello laughed as he thought back. “That might be the reason. See, when I was at Wammy’s, I often tried to escape reality and imagined to be a powerful wizard and stuff. How foolish one can be as child.” Sometimes Mello really wished to be a wizard to simply get whatever he wanted. But then he got injured in the  explosion and he became aware that he wasn’t a child anymore. As passage to adulthood, he decided let grow out his blonde hair. “And the boy is dead now.” He stated dryly. 

“What did you do when you left the orphanage?” 

“That’s another story for another time, Yagami.” 

Mello took a piece of paper and a pen. He wrote some names on it, folded the paper and put it on Light’s lap. 

“What’s that?” 

“The real names of all the SPK members but Near.” Light sent him a short but incredulous glance.  

“What?” 

“You heard me right. I told you I’m going to cooperate with you as soon as I got Matt back.” 

“But-“ 

“As soon as Kira requires it, I’ll show you a picture of each one of them so you, or whoever it is, can write their names in the notebook.”  

“Well, I think Kira wants the hubbub to cool down, but I’m sure he’s going to appreciate your help.” That was quite a precious way to help. Light was glad that Mello seemed so willing to cooperate after all. So glad that he didn’t notice that it escaped him that he addressed to Kira as  _he_. Mello noticed and kept his suspects that Light was actually Kira for himself. He had to play his cards carefully and well. Playing the naive boy seemed to be a good decision, at least until now. 

“You know, Light... I don’t get why Kira wants me alive. I mean I’ve done a lot of things against his principles. Why didn't he kill me or let me die?” Mello’s question was serious, he couldn’t find a logical explanation to this. 

“I don’t know, Mello. I was told to do so.” Light paused and tried to find a credible response. “Kira sees something in you.” Mello raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “And honestly I’m glad to have you by my side.”  

“If you say so.” The blonde turned his gaze away and directed his eyes out of the window. 

 

\--- 

 

Light and Mello arrived at the hot spring hotel close to Chitose. Light checked in using two fake passports and they got the most expensive room in the structure. Light asked for a suite with double bedroom and double bathroom, he really needed to have some time out from Mello. Not that he disliked him so much anymore, but he needed his isolation.  

Mello and Light were both exhausted and had the need for a decent sleep in a decent bed. Light ordered lunch with the room service. After the meal he went to his room and took a nap for the whole afternoon. He really needed it after all those hours of driving. Mello had noticed that Light had locked the suit's door, so he went in his own room and took a long hot shower. He was still feeling cold from that morning. He washed his hair with the pleasant smelling shampoo and smeared tons of conditioner in his lengths. How fast it had grown over the past months, it reached almost his nipples now. Mello resisted the urge to masturbate, he was too exhausted to do it properly. Maybe later. The blonde crawled under the duvet on the futon bed and turned on the TV. Soon enough he collapsed in a deep dreamless sleep. 

 

\--- 

 

"Mello!" Light knocked at his door. "Are you still sleeping? It's almost 10 PM." 

 _'Fuck, it's almost time.'_  The blonde rubbed his eyes and threw on some clothes; Matt's Aesthetic Perfection shirt and loose track pants to stay comfy but also warm.  

“You want any dinner?” 

"No, I'm not hungry." He opened the door and walked in the big living area. "Are you going to call the room service?"  

Light was reading the menu card. "Yes. Want something?" 

"Can I have champagne?" 

"How that?" 

Mello shrugged.  _‘_ _To celebrate Matt'_ _s birthday at midnight.’_  Light raised an eyebrow. "To drink on Matt’s funeral... and to our friendship." 

"Fine." Light stepped closer and raised Mello's chin. The blonde bit on his lower lip as he raised his glance. "How do you feel?" 

"A little better." Light pulled Mello in for a tight embrace. If giving solace was something so easy, why withhold it? 

"I'm going to call the room service, okay?" Mello nodded and pulled Light closer in their embrace. "While we wait I'm taking a quick shower." 

 

It was half an hour later as Light came back and Mello had already opened a bottle of beer he had taken from the mini bar. The dinner was delivered soon and Light invited Mello to join him. 

"Lobster?" Mello looked disgusted. 

"Lobster and champagne is a good combo. Want some?" 

"No thanks. Seafood is revolting." 

"There's enough food for both." Light pointed to the vegetable side dishes but Mello declined. 

"I'm not in the mood to eat." He sat on the couch and turned on the TV without really paying any attention to it. 

 

 

Mello waited until Light was done eating to light up a rolled cigarette. The champagne had been emptied quickly and Mello ordered another two bottles and one of premium vodka. Light took place on the couch next to Mello. The blonde had found a pay TV music channel that was running hard rock music.  

"Aesthetic Perfection? Quite vain, huh?" Light noticed as Mello filled both their glasses with champagne.  

"It's just a band." Mello shifted his body on the floor in front of the small coffee table. He took some weed and rolled a joint.  

"Where did you go when you left the orphanage?" 

"Various places." Mello told him without turning his head. 

"How did you get to work for the mafia?" 

Mello lit up the joint and turned to Light. "There are three ways to get in the mafia. Either you're born into it, or you have a fucking lot of money, or you work for the drug cartel or other minor criminal organisations that are linked to the mafia syndacate." He paused and knew Light wanted to know which way was the one he had chosen. "I was fifteen when I was on my own. I had barely money to eat, figure to get in the drug cartel or to buy my way in the mafia." Mello exhaled a huge amount of smoke. 

"So what did you do?" 

"What would  _you_ do if you're underage and poor, and the only thing you have is your pretty face?" Light shivered but didn’t dare to think about. "Yeah, you got it. I was a fucking hooker. I sold my body to get the money to afford a damn flight to the US, and then I literally fucked my way into the mafia. Long story short, that was it." Light looked speechless at him, there was no regret in his eyes. Was this boy really so unscrupulously irresponsible? Light was disgusted, it really made him sick. It made him sick that adult men had fucked a minor for money.  

"And this?" Light sat down next to Mello and grabbe the cross of his rosary. "Are you really Christian? You were praying earlier at the sea." His eyes roamed over the countless tattoos on the blonde's arms as he was extinguishing the joint in the ashtray. He understood only now that they were not just for decoration, but depictions of religious symbols. 

"I'm Catholic." Mello undid the sealing of the cellophane where the white powder was wrapped in. He leaned over and reached for Light's ass. His heart skipped as he felt the blonde so close to him, he could smell the sweet fragrance of conditioner in his hair. But the blonde wasn’t interested in his flesh. Instead he took a credit card from his wallet and formed two small lines on the glass surface. He rolled up a bill to snore the drug through his nostril. Light couldn’t believe it, this boy was the complete opposite of what his faith proclaimed.  

“What’s wrong with you, kid?”  

“What do you mean?” Mello sniffed and threw his head back. Good, that was exactly what he needed right now. The high would shoot through his body soon enough. 

“What I mean? Look at you, you’re a living nonsense.” Mello raised both his eyebrows. “You claim to be Catholic, but all I see is a too young boy acting like a wannabe hedonist. To make matters worse, you’re even _gay_. Everything you do is a contradiction.” 

Mello shrugged and sprinkled some cocaine in his rolled cigarette. “It’s just a way to deal with my life… my burden.” He lit the cigarette and took a deep drag, closed his eyes and exhaled. “At least I have a healthy and active sex life. You’re a fucking prude. I bet you never liked  _one_ single fuck in your life.” Mello offered his cigarette to Light but he refused it.  

“I don’t think it’s your business.” 

“Neither is who I fuck yours. Relax, man.” He offered Light the rolled bill. Light accepted and inhaled a line. 

“What do you mean by your burden?” 

Mello smirked and poured two glasses of champagne. “I am a servant of God. If I have to do wrong things in the name of good, I’ll do it. Without remorse. This is my burden.”  

“There’s no such thing as God or the Devil. There’s only one God and it’s Kira, and only one way to behave: it's acting right and by no means acting wrong.” 

"Really?” Mello laughs. “Kira is  _nothing_. I am a chosen one. I am a survivor. Archangel Michael is my protector, he leads me through the darkness.” The blonde hissed like a fanatic zealot. Light wondered if Mello had a sort of personality disorder or if the alcohol was talking, he couldn’t mean that shit seriously. But then Light remembered his past, the fact that he saw himself like the strange wizard, no wonder he believed to be an incarnation of an angel. Of course he did, he was unstable and he needed to hold on something concrete. 

“You’re nothing but a criminal and damn faggot! You should bend to Kira, God of the new world!” 

“Let me explain you something, you idiot! When I was Rod’s little whore, I offered him the head of a mafia boss that not even Kira was able to find.” Light swallowed. “And what does Kira apart writing names in the stupid notebook? Without it, he is totally useless. He's just a tool to that stupid shinigami. And you... You’re just working for an ordinary mass murderer. And not even a good one.”  

“Don’t talk to me like that!” 

“Or what? Is Kira going to kill me? I'm not afraid of death.” Mello chuckled and emptied a shot of vodka. “I survived things you don’t even dare to imagine, Yagami.” 

“You’re just a disgusting cocksucking bastard. That’s all you are.” Light felt his own tongue eased by alcohol, not that it really mattered to him.

“Oh, yeah? So why are you looking at me as if you’d like to bang the hell out of me, you sick fuck?” Mello yelled at him. 

“I see you’re attractive and you think everyone wants to fuck you but-“ Light pointed at the band shirt but Mello interrupted him. 

“Hey I didn’t start it okay? It was  _you_ who kissed me first.” 

Light froze. So he did remember what happened? “What the hell are you talking about? That’s not even true!” 

“No? When we were at the motel… in the room with the trans whores.” 

“Dammit Mello, it was just for show! You think  _one like me_  would ever kiss  _one like you_?” 

Mello slapped Light hard in the face. Light touched his cheek, it burned as hell. “Don’t fucking dare to talk to me like that, Yagami. I killed for less.” He hissed and his eyes shot freezing glares at him.

"You little faggot you'll pay for this!" 

"Oh yea? Then show me how, asshole!" The blonde was a real daredevil and the way his ice cold eyes were looking at him made Light freeze to the bones.  

"Whore!" Mello wanted to hit him again, but Light caught his hand and squeezed his fingers around his wrist. Mello tried to free from his grasp but Light tightened his grip, it was hurting his wrist badly. The blonde wriggled as Light grabbed unkindly his other hand, instead of freeing him, Light pulled him closer. Mello looked in Light's amber eyes, that guy was insanely dangerous but he wasn’t afraid. Mello's eyes challenged him back, Light pulled him closer until he could feel his breath on his lips. And then he couldn’t reason anymore.  

"Let me go!" 

Light looked at the younger one in front of him. Mello tried again to free from him and Light knew that he was hurting him fucking badly as he twisted his arms behind his back. Now Mello was close, so very close and Light enjoyed to see the blonde so weak, so vulnerable, his body subdued even if his eyes were still daring him. Eyes cold as the fiercest frost but that hide a soul that burnt like rabid fire. Light didn't know what was going on in his twisted mind. He didn't know and he didn’t care. He couldn’t repress the desire to feel that vicious mouth on his again, it disgusted him how much he was literally craving for it.  

Light let go Mello's wrists and pulled the blonde even closer, his hand cupped the back of his head and their lips finally met. Mello let go a groan of surprise as he felt Light's tongue intruding his mouth. Mello let him in, and this time Light tasted the blonde fully, his tongue explored him well. Mello threw his arms around Light's neck, kissed him back, he sat on his lap and wrapped his legs around Light's waist. Their kiss deepened, Light buried his hands in that soft long blonde mane, grabbed a fistful of it and pulled slightly. Mello purred in response. So he liked it, good. Light lifted them both up and laid Mello on his back, his body finding place between his legs. Mello rolled his hips up, Light could feel his aroused manhood and became aware that he was getting hard  _too_. Mello hooked his legs around Light's waist, hips were grinding together, hands touching all over, roaming, exploring every inch of body. All this while they were still kissing, licking, biting, panting in each other's mouth. Light couldn't believe how much he liked to touch this male body under him, a body that was arousing him far more than any woman had before. His fingers traced Mello's thigh, squeezed that toned muscle. He was absolutely enthralled by his wonderfully slender legs.  

Light's mouth went over Mello's jawline, licked, nibbled. The blonde groaned while Light was grinding his hips down to his. Light bit Mello's shoulders through the fabric but the blonde stopped him. For once, a slight glimpse of reason hit Mello's mind. 

"Light, wait..." Mello breathed heavily. "I don't know how far you wanna go tonight but... it's better to take precautions." 

"What do you mean?" Light raised an eyebrow and looked confused. Mello noticed his lips were wet and swollen. Fuck, he looked just too hot to be real. 

"We... we should use a condom." Yes, that uncomfortable topic had to be brought up before it was too late.  

Initially Light thought about pregnancy, but no that wasn’t possible, Mello was a boy. So he understood what it was about. "I got tested recently."  

"Yeah me too but-" Light interrupted him pressing his lips on Mello's. "It's not just because of that."  

"So what's the matter, then?"  

"I uhm..." That was going to be funny to explain this. "We don't have any lube." Light looked at him wondering if it was really necessary. "Dry fucking isn't something pleasant to experience."  

Light sat back up. He never used any with Misa but he never cared if he hurt her. But why did he care for Mello, then? Since when was he so compliant to his requests? On the other hand, all he was asking was just a stupid condom. Mello was the one who was going to be fucked so it was legit.  

"Fine, princess. But where are we going to get some?" 

"There's a vending machine in the hotel lobby." 

So he already knew that. Initially he wanted to send down Mello but then he decided to go by himself. First the blonde could easily run away, second he wanted to see if Mello was using this as excuse to escape. If Light would come back and find the room empty it wouldn’t take him long to find him. A blonde European in a small town like this was something very uncommon. So he left and didn’t lock the door on purpose.  _'Let's see how much I can trust you now, Mello. Even since you got what you wanted already.'_  

 

 

Light was walking along the corridor towards their suite, he heard loud music coming from there.  _‘What the hell...?'_  

The former brunette opened the door and stepped in the small lobby. He walked to the bigger living room, Mello was still sitting on the floor. Loud music was coming from the TV. Mello had found a Judas Priest live concert on one of the music channels and had raised the volume consistently. 

Mello was forming other short and small lines of cocaine on the glass table. He snuffed one and drank the expensive champagne directly from the bottle. Yes that was what he needed, soothing anything. He didn’t want to feel anything anymore.

Light threw the pack of extra-lube condoms on the couch and snatched the bottle from the blonde's hands.  "If you want to drink expensive stuff at least do it properly." He filled both glasses. Suddenly tension had built up between them. Mello wondered if Light was nervous and Light wondered if Mello regretted already what happened earlier. He wasn’t going to do the first step once more. If  _princess_  wanted him, he had to get him.  

Light drank some champagne and snorted a line of cocaine.  

“Why do you do coke actually? Isn’t that against Kira’s principles?” Mello wanted to know. 

“I began at college. You know, to get better grades, improve my social life, sport competitions, then I had uni and the pressure from my new job at the police.” 

 _‘And to keep up a facade.’_  Mello snorted another line and emptied the glass. He looked at the time depicted in a corner on the TV screen, it was almost midnight.  _Beyond the realms of dead_  was playing. Light looked up as well and now he understood  _a lot of things_. So that was where Mello got inspired in his eccentric taste of dressing. Leather, studs, lots of exposed skin and more leather.  

"I don’t do it often by the way. And what is your excuse?" 

“What do you mean?” 

"Mello, you claim to be Catholic but all you do is the complete opposite of your beliefs." 

"You already told me that." The blonde shrugged and directed his glance towards the TV, don't paying Light any attention anymore. He reached for the third bottle of champagne and undid the wrapping. He waited until it was exactly midnight and uncorked it.  _'Happy birthday, Matt. you see we got C &C in a fucking expensive hotel after all.'_ Mello touched the cross of his rosary.  _Electric Eye_ , one of his favourite songs was performed now. 

Light took the bottle and filled their glasses. "Yeah, so?" 

"Just because I do certain things doesn't mean I like what I do. You have to take risks in your life." Mello filled and emptied a shot of vodka. 

"Yeah for instance? Sleeping with random strangers?"  

Mello shifted closer to Light until their lips were just a breath apart. "For instance that's what I was hoping to do with you tonight." Mello's pierced tongue traced from Light's chin over his lips to the tip of his nose. That was enough to make Light lose control. He pulled Mello in for another kiss and this time it had so much erotic charge, that Light felt his pants were going to explode any moment. He shifted Mello's slender figure on his own lap, he wanted the blonde to feel how fucking  _hard_  he was. Mello gasped and panted, he needed to break their kiss to reach for air.  

Light reached for one of the glasses and emptied it. He looked up to the blonde, his hair was a mess, he was panting hard, his lips wet and swollen, his ice blue eyes sex-injected. Damn, he was going to spoil him so bad that night. Mello lit a part that Light didn’t know of himself, an archaic and bestial instinct that was burning in him since ever. And now it was taking the lead on him. 

"You're ready, princess?" Light's thumb traced Mello's lower lip and he nodded. He pushed the finger in his humid mouth, felt the metal stud in his soft tongue. Mello sucked at his finger, his eyes were already fucking him.  _Turbo Lover_  was playing in the background, if there was something the blonde liked, it was having sex on drugs while his favourite band was beating loud from the speakers.  

"Let's go to bed." The blonde grabbed the champagne bottle and walked towards Light's room. The taller one followed the other who was leaving a trail of hormones behind.  

 

Mello ripped Light's shirt from his body and backed him up on the bed. Like the first time, Mello crawled on top of him, but this time his lips kissed and licked his whole core upwards until he arrived to his mouth. Light fisted his hair and kissed him again, hungry and wanting for more. Mello sat on his hips and frictioned their erections together, Light could feel _everything_ even if they were both still wearing their pants. And fuck, how Mello was exciting him, that wasn’t even possible in his dreams. Light's hands pulled Mello's hips downwards, his fingers squeezed his tiny ass. Yes, Mello was a forbidden dream come true and Light was going to take him all tonight. 

"You're such a slut." Light smirked and Mello sat up straight before taking off his own shirt. And there he was, looking arrogantly down to him, his exposed core a piece of art. His skin was fully covered in tattoos, Light couldn’t focus on one in particular but his attention got caught by Mello's pierced nipples and navel. That was so disgustingly gay but at the same time so extremely arousing. What was wrong with him, he couldn't understand it. Light's hands touched the soft skin, felt hard muscles underneath. The blonde took Light's hand and directed him on his small adorned nubs. Light tried to be gentle, afraid to hurt him but that didn’t seem to be the case. Mello was riding his still clothed cock, he was panting and groaning and licking lasciviously his lips. That was too much.  

Light switched their positions. He took place between Mello's legs, kissed him again while kicking off his own pants off and finally freeing his throbbing cock. Mello's hands reached down, he wanted to touch him but Light pulled his hands away. He pinned them on his sides and continued to kiss the blonde.  

While doing so, Light opened the condom pack and took one out, he ripped the wrapping with his teeth and rolled the condom over his shaft. 

"Hey wait... who said I am going to be bottomed?" Mello stared confused at him and swallowed hardly. 

"You don't really think I'm going to let  _you_ fuck  _me_?" Light smirked mischievously, an evil spark shined in his amber eyes. Of course Light wasn't going to take a dick up his precious ass. Of course not. Mello realized that he was fooled, he was played like a stupid little girl that was going to be depraved of her innocence. But misery loves company and Mello wanted to repress those dark feelings in him. _'Chastise the body and the soul will be purified.'_  

"Well then... if you want me to be your slut, I'm gonna be your slut." Mello turned around his body. "I'm going to make it easier for you. Now you can even pretend I'm not a man." And Mello could pretend he wasn’t there with him. 

That damn Mello and his naughty mouth. Light was going to show him who was the real alpha male here. He pulled his hips up and forced him to stay on all fours. He lowered Mello's pants to his knees and positioned his cock against his entrance. Did he need any preparation? He wasn’t sure but Mello preceded him. The blonde straightened his back up, Light held him close to him, his hands roamed all over his chest, his mouth kissed his neck and shoulders. Mello spat on his hand and rubbed saliva on his hole, opened himself up with his fingers. That was disgusting, Light was glad he didn’t see it.  

Mello rubbed his back against Light, grinded his ass on his cock. His mind had already estranged from reality, drugs and alcohol still rushing through his system. Mello felt foreign hands touching him, making him lean forward. He felt an unkind and harsh penetration, hands grabbing him firmly by his hips. Light wasn’t gentle, he wasn’t gentle at all, but Mello wasn’t there anymore. It was like when he was a youngster, when he was moonlighting through the streets of London and those disgusting men fucked him. When they treated him like he was worthless, when they used him like a disposable tissue. But he didn’t care because it had served to his purpose. And now he didn’t care Light was using him as cumbag. Because he wasn’t worth anything anymore.  

Mello let himself fall on the mattress but hands pulled his hips back up. He was there like a common whore, laying on his stomach with his ass up, a cock pounding painfully into him. And it didn’t stop. Mello sank his teeth in his forearm, his other hand tightened around his rosary.  _‘Holy_ _Virgin_ _, Mother, forgive me, because I’m weak...’_  

 

Light initially expected that ass was ass but he could witness that that wasn't actually true. Mello felt so tight, so warm, so fucking everything around his cock. His fingers clenched Mello's hipbones while he was rocking his hips into him. He heard muffled groans and took it as incentive to continue. Mello was good, damn Mello felt so fucking good, how was that even possible? Was it the champagne that enhanced anything or was it real? Mello was indeed a forbidden desire come true. It felt so wrong but so good at the same time. Light wasn’t going to last longer. Mello was too much to handle for him, even if he didn’t do anything but laying there and taking him. Yet his hormones were so overwhelming, his sweet scent was driving him insane. Light thrust harder into the blonde, Mello's fingers fisted the bedsheets.  

Mello felt powerful shoves into his ass, then the cock in him twitched and remained still. Light panted and lowered down to kiss his shoulders before pulling out. Mello turned away from him and began to stroke himself. He wasn’t done yet, and he wasn’t going to get blank that night. It wouldn't take him long, he had too much tension and frustration that needed to be released. His own hands were unkind, like Light has been just before. His ass was hurting and now his cock hurt as well. Mello whined as he released into his hand and remained motionless. 

Light disposed the condom and cleaned his softening member. Mello was finishing off on his own. Light didn’t know how things worked between two males, apparently it wasn’t as easy as he thought, just fuck and done. The blonde cried out as he came and didn't move anymore. Light handed him some tissues. Mello tried to regain his breath and cleaned himself sloppily, tossing the tissues on the ground.  

Mello wanted to leave and retire to his own room, but he was exhausted and felt drowsy already. It surprised him as he felt Light's hand tracing gently over his flank until his waist, pulling him closer to him. It was like a small gesture of reassurance. Maybe it wasn't that bad after all. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artwork by me  
> always imagined Mello dressed up as the wizard Howl) they're both such drama queens
> 
>  
> 
> It's a headcanon of mine that Matt & Mello came from a similar background, that was one of the reasons why they became friends at Wammy's. I also imagined Matt being the math genius, because he is the more calculating one and Mello being the language genius, since he is mainly led by his emotions.  
> I have already written M&M story, might upload it later on.
> 
> Thanks for reading & kudos


	8. Kiss & Swallow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mello, Mello, you know it's a sin to kiss and swallow
> 
> pure smut chapter, sorry)  
> ok and a little feelings as well
> 
> obviously named after IAMX song Kiss + Swallow  
> (IAMX is Matt's fav band)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnLrsmizMqs

* * *

 

 

Light woke up, he was still laying spoon behind Mello like they've slept in the night before. His nose buried in the blonde hair and smelled its pleasant scent; Light could still perceive the smell of sex on the younger one's skin. He felt a strange sensation in his stomach as he thought back at what happened. A pair of huge wings adorned Mello's shoulders, Light traced softly over the tattoo. Along the spine a figure holding a spear and defeating a monster was depicted. Something was written in a banner but Light couldn't understand the meaning.

What was he doing? Light reprehended himself. He sat up and palmed his face, it was so wrong. How was he going to explain this to his conscience? _'Wait, keep calm.'_ The situation wasn’t that tragic, he told himself. As long as he didn’t get fucked, he wasn't gay, right? There were plenty of men that experimented with other males just for fun or out of curiosity but that didn’t mean anything. It was just sex and as long as he kept the active role, he wouldn't get corrupted. Ass was still ass, after all.

Mello was still sleeping as Light left the bed. He walked in his bathroom and looked at the mirror. Maybe it was better if they weren't going to do that anymore. There was no reason to repeat it. Mello just needed to cope with Matt's death and Light wanted to satisfy his curiosity. Yes, that was it. There was no need to do it again.

Light called himself coffee in the room. While he waited, he took Matt's fake passport and compared his own appearance to the redhead's. Their similarity was even more evident now that he had his hair dyed blonde. Their facial features were more or less the same, the hairstyle was identical, the only big difference apart the hair colour, was that Matt had huge blue eyes and a ring through his lower lip. Now he figured out a lot of things.

 

\---

 

Mello woke up alone in the bed but it wasn’t the one in his room. He turned, Light wasn’t next to him. His head was pounding, his body was sore. He wasn’t sure if it was the right choice to sleep with the other one. Was Light going to use him as his personal whore? It has been a while he hadn't been bottomed. He was forced to do it when he was younger and inexperienced, before he found out that being a dom was a better way to get fast money. He didn’t let anyone fuck him from behind anymore except for Matt. But Matt knew that when Mello wanted to be the receptive part it was because he needed to be comforted. Matt could be gentle and kind even if he fucked the hell out of him. Light wasn’t like that last night. He was unkind and harsh and humiliating. Yes, that was what Mello felt. Humiliated. He wasn’t sure though Light had done it on purpose or if it was due to his inexperience.

Mello sat up and felt a little better as he saw a coffeepot and a chocolate cereal bar on a small tray on the nightstand. Mello poured a cup of coffee, it was still warm. The blonde sat still in the bed, cup of coffee in his hands and contemplated the nothingness. _‘Why am I even doing this?’_ He emptied the mug and put it on the nightstand. _‘Matt, what should I do?’_ Mello laid back and stared to the ceiling. He waited for a response but it didn’t come. Mello closed his fingers around the golden cross of his rosary. What was wrong with him? Couldn’t he simply take a decision on his own anymore? He couldn’t always rely on Matt’s advice, damn it, was he really so depending?

More than once Matt had told him he was a fallen angel and his true weapon was to look like one. If God has gifted you with such a pretty face, why don’t use it? And it always worked, he had used his beauty too many times to get what he wanted. But now his face was ruined, it wouldn’t work any longer.

Mello wasn’t sure about anything anymore. How much would trying to be like L take from him? Wasn’t losing Matt enough of it? Over the years Mello became aware that he carried deep hatred towards L and Wammy. They both fuelled his inferiority complex, made him grow up under pressure, taking away any possible chance to have a sort of childhood and a normal life. He already hadn't any prior to Wammy's, had he really deserved so less? Was he really so worthless? His person was never important, it was just his mind they wanted. And the constant comparison between him and Near? He was never good enough. _Never_. He was so less worth that they let him go without even trying to hold him back.

Was his intelligence so much of a burden? Why couldn’t he be like Matt? The redhead was the third in line to succeed L without doing anything. Mello always suspected that Matt was the smartest in Wammy's but he was too lazy and he simply didn’t care about what they wanted from him. Mello secretly envied him for that. Maybe it was a waste of potential but Matt surely had a more peaceful life than Mello. He never had to deal with anxious feelings and insomnia, panic attacks and tendencies to self-destruction. All Matt cared about was playing videogames, smoking weed, motors and _his_ Mello. He didn’t even care about Kira, he honestly gave a shit about it. And so did Mello after all. Taking down Kira was just a way to prove Near _he_ was better. So what if joining Kira to beat Near was the right path to choose now?

 

\---

 

Light was standing under the stream of hot water; vapour has already clouded the shower glass. He stood there, eyes closed and simply enjoyed the treat to his skin. He heard a slight noise behind him and turned. Mello was standing in front of him and was completely naked. Of course he was naked, why should he wear clothes under the shower? Light wondered what he wanted from him now because his icy eyes didn't look particularly friendly. On contrary, the boy seemed to have nasty intentions. Dieing in a shower wasn't exactly what Light had in mind for that day. He shivered and eliminated those thoughts from his mind. Why would the blonde want to do something mean to him? After all he didn’t treat him bad last night, had he?

Mello stepped closer to Light, his eyes cold and unreadable. Why did he always look so damn sad? The blonde glanced up to him and blinked with his eyes. Light swallowed, despite of his thought it was better to not fuck with Mello again, he found himself already longing for that vicious mouth. Light brushed Mello's long hair from his face, the blonde wanted to pull away but Light gently caressed his scarred cheek. Nobody had ever touched him here, nobody except Matt.

"You're beautiful..." Light whispered and cupped his left cheek, his thumb traced over Mello's lip. The blonde shoved him unkindly against the tiled wall, the impact hurt his spine. Mello's hands roamed all over his body, his lips kissed from his jawline down to his collarbones. Mello had already clenched his fingers around Light's hardening cock, he licked and nibbled his way along the line between his abs.

Everything happened so fast from the moment Mello pulled Light's foreskin back. He didn't realize when Mello lowered on his knees, when he sent him lecherous glances, when he stoked his cock to harden fully. But Light realized _very_ well when he felt the pierced tongue tracing his whole length from the base to the tip.

"Oh my fucking god!" Light wasn't one to imprecate but as Mello sucked him in, he couldn't hold himself back. It's not that he had never experienced blowjobs before. Misa blew him often enough but it mostly ended that he skullfucked her because first he got bored and second he wanted to humiliate her. Kiyomi has blown him as well, as had other women but it was either foreplay or a mere submission to him.

It was not like now, where _he_ was completely at Mello's mercy. The blonde's passion was burning like fire and not all the water on earth would extinguish it. What the younger was doing with his mouth was completely overwhelming. Light buried his fingers in the blonde mane, afraid Mello would stop any moment. But he didn't. Mello was sucking, licking, teasing each inch of his cock, fingers squeezed his ass. Mello lowered and licked his balls, sucked one then his tongue traced slowly over his cock and that damn piercing was making everything so much more exciting. Especially as Mello was working his head, as he pushed the small metal stud slightly in his tiny hole, teased the sensitive piece of skin underneath with the tip of his tongue. Light wanted to explode, he wanted to shove his cock into that nasty mouth. And there he felt it coming as Mello was deepthroating him like there was no tomorrow. Was he even able to breathe? Light closed his eyes, his fingers pulled the blonde's hair, he swallowed, tried to not moan loud but that was damn difficult because Mello was _fucking good_. Light felt heat building up in his loins, he felt fingers squeezing his ass till it hurt, he felt how his head was being sucked and then he exploded and released his full load in the blonde's mouth.

Light looked down, he was surprised and exhausted. Mello had literally sucked anything out of him. His softening cock was slipping from his mouth, a tiny amount of cum dripped from the corner. Mello's tongue, still full of sperm, licked lustfully over his lip, his icy eyes sent him a malicious glance.

"Mello, don't..." Too late. The blonde has swallowed everything and now he was kissing him. Light could taste traces of his own cum in Mello's mouth and it should have disgusted him but he didn't care. He wrapped his arms around the blonde and pulled him closer, deepened their kiss.

Light parted from Mello's lips."Good morning, princess." As he met his gaze he realized how innocent the boy looked. Light brushed Mello's hair back and kissed him once more. "Want breakfast?" Mello nodded and Light turned off the water.

 

\---

 

Light has called breakfast and with it the parcel from last night's expenses.

"This kimono is so comfortable. And the cotton is so smooth." Mello was wearing one of the garments offered by the hotel service.

"It's not a kimono. It's a yukata." Light explained and looked at the boy dressed in white. He truly looked like an angel now.

"Yookatah?"

"Yukata, Mello." Light taught him the right way to pronounce the Japanese word. The room service arrived and Light opened the door.

 

"Room service breakfast is maybe one of the best things on earth."Mello was still drinking his coffee as Light read the parcel and began to scold him.

"Mello!"

"What is it?"

"Do you have idea how much your drinks cost me?"

"Nope."

"It's about 2500 USD."

"Hey, I asked you if I can have champagne and you said yes. I thought you have looked at the price." The blonde played innocent.

"Yes but not of the most expensive vodka on the chart!"

"Yeah okay but I think the blowjob in the shower is a good repayment." Mello smirked mischievously.

"No, Mello."

"You snuffed my coke."

"Still not enough."

"What do you want, then?"

Light sucked his lower lip in. Should he really play this game with him? It maybe wasn’t the best thing to do but it was damn exciting. Now that Light had tasted Mello, he couldn’t get enough, he wanted more. "You once said you'd like to be my sugar babe."

"I did." Mello smirked. "So?"

"Guess what." Light pulled Mello in for a sensual and demanding kiss. He shifted his body between Mello's legs and rolled his hips up. Mello groaned and Light suffocated the verse with another kiss. "I want to fuck _you_." Light's thumb traced of Mello's lower lip, his cheeks were flushed and the yukata had shifted down one shoulder. He was so damn sexy.

"So I guess I'm going to be bottomed, again?" The blonde huffed and leaned his back against the couch.

"I guess that's the only way to have sex with me, princess." Of course. Because he wasn't good enough, wasn't it like that?

Mello let Light's tongue slip in his mouth. "Yeah... I need to get prepared properly today, not like last night." Light looked a little confused. "Go and take the condom." Mello said dryly and pushed Light from him.

"Mello, did I hurt you?" Light cupped his chin but the blonde avoided his eyes.

"We just rushed it, okay?" Mello would never admit he felt used by him.

Light understood that it was his own fault because he had no proper experience. "I didn't want to." Mello shot him a glance that told him _but you did_. _'And you didn't care.'_ The fake blonde lowered and wanted to kiss him but Mello avoided his lips. "Why don't you just show me how to do it?" Mello rolled his eyes but this time Light caught his mouth and forced him into a craving kiss. "I'm serious."

"I'm tense. I need to relax."

Light lowered his lips on Mello's neck, kissed him gently, nibbled slightly at his soft skin. Damn, he tasted so good. It was driving him insane, he wanted to eat him alive. Light's hands gently traced over Mello's thighs, squeezed his toned ass. He felt how the younger one's cock was reacting to his teasing. So he must have not been that bad. Light kissed along the huge cross tattooed on Mello's breastbone while undoing the belt of his yukata.

Light's eyes widened as he took a glimpse at Mello's cock. He hadn't noticed yet _that thing **[1]** _ through his hole. Of course he hadn't, he had avoided to directly looking at the other male's penis until now. It embarrassed him too much. But now it stood there, proudly erected in front of him. Light looked up, Mello smirked satisfied. The boy was quite confident about his body. No wonder he was because there was _nothing_ on the wrong place.

"What's wrong, Yagami?"

"Nothing."

"So you want me to teach you." Light gave a slight nod. "Give me your hand."

Mello sucked at Light's index and middle finger, he coated them with lots of saliva and positioned them in front of his entrance. He was already trembling in anticipation as Light gently traced over his puckered hole.

Light felt uncomfortable at doing this, he felt weird when he pushed one finger in Mello's ass. But as he began to move his finger back and forth, as the blonde spread his legs further and softly panted, it didn't feel weird anymore.

"Like that?"

"Yea that's good." Mello groaned. He bit his lower lip and sent him a lecherous glance. "Another one."

Light did as he demanded and added a second finger; this time Mello hissed in pleasure. Light was beginning to enjoy the sight of the blonde sprawled out in front of him, glancing lustful at him while was just fucked by his fingers. _'Is he ready?'_ No, just a little longer, because Light was really enjoying it. He would never admit it though.

Light carefully took his fingers out. "Shall I take the condom or let's go over to the bed?"

"Take it."

Mello knelt down on the ground, leaned his upper body on the seat of the couch. A submissive position that he hated but that allowed him to estrange and also was the very same position he assumed when he prayed. He took his rosary, kissed the cross and began to repent for his sins already.

"What are you doing?" Light sat next to him and turned the blonde. "I want to see you while we do it." Mello looked in his eyes, where was the lust from earlier? Now he was cold, distant, sad. "Please."

Light kissed him and sat between Mello's legs. _'No, no, no.'_ He licked over his fingers and gently shoved them in Mello's ass again. The blonde groaned and bit in Light’s lower lip. _'Yes, yes...'_

"Tell me how you want it."

"Faster." Mello groaned and Light increased the pace of his rhythm. "Harder." He was truly afraid to hurt him, but as he tried to be rougher he understood that the boy wanted it exactly that way. "Three fingers, please." Mello murmured before slightly biting Light's chin.

Light shoved a third finger in Mello's rear, the blonde moaned and threw his head back. Damn that was a sight and the loud breathing was totally exciting him. Mello collected himself after some minutes and sat up. He took the condom from Light's other hand and rolled it over his hard cock. Why was everything the blonde was doing so damn erotic? Light withdrew his fingers and grabbed Mello by his waist, pulled him in for a dominant kiss. "You want me to fuck you fast and hard as well?" The blonde grinned like a little demon and nodded.

Light threw Mello's slender legs around his waist and pulled his hips slightly up. He entered the younger one firmly but gentle, both groaned loud. Mello hooked one leg in Light's arm before he lowered down to kiss his neck. _'I'm going to regret this...'_ Mello threw his arms around Light's neck and crashed their lips together. _'I'll regret this so fucking badly...Mother, forgive me.'_

Light felt Mello's nails and teeth scratching and biting him everywhere and even if it bothered him, he was glad the blonde was enjoying it as much as he did. Mello's muffled moans were exciting the hell out of him, Light knew he wasn’t going to last long.

"Touch me." The blonde looked in Light's amber eyes. Light searched for Mello's cock and briefly touched it but immediately withdrew his hand. Shame overcame him. Mello grabbed his hand and wrapped it around his cock, then he guided it up and down. Mello let go Light's hand and he continued to stroke the other man's cock, it was so hard but the skin there was incredibly soft. He wasn’t sure if he was doing it right but Mello pulled him down for another kiss. "Don't stop." Light rubbed Mello’s length, his thumb gently touched the metal jewel through his glans.

Mello bit hard on Light's shoulder. Light couldn’t hold back anymore, he already felt it coming. The blonde was too much for him. As he came he quit pleasing the other one but Mello reached for his hand and guided him once more. The softening member slipped out and Mello pulled Light downwards, kissed him, nibbled at his lips, panted in his mouth. Light only hoped Mello would come soon or he would harden again. Fortunately the blonde was extremely excited and it didn't take him long to reach his own orgasm. He moaned softly and clenched his teeth deeply in Light's flesh. He felt something warm and sticky on his hand and understood that Mello has come as well.

Light reached for a napkin and cleaned them both. His eyes narrowed over Mello, his cheeks were flushed, his lips swollen, his hair ruffled and his skin slightly sweaty. He was such a sweet mess. Light caressed over Mello’s long hair. The younger looked up to him, his blue eyes unreadable.

“You still sad?”

“A little.” Mello sighed. Light’s fingertip traced over his nose and followed the contour of his lips. “But I feel a little better now as well.” Yes, coping sex wasn’t that bad after all. At all. Light lowered his head and kissed the younger one. God, he was hot and passionate and caring.

“I just hope you didn’t think at _him_ while I fucked you... because I enjoyed it too much...” Light purred in his ear. Faux pas. Yes, Light was all those things but he was a dick too.

“What did you just say?” Mello leaned on his elbow and looked upset.

“Come on, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“How did you mean it then?” Ice blue eyes shot freezing glances. Damn, the blonde is quite a touchy guy. “You think just because we fucked you can make fun of it?”

“No, Mello I didn't want-“

The blonde roughly pushed Light aside and reached for his yukata. “It was just sex, Yagami. It means nothing.” He stood up and fixed the cloth on his body.

Light wondered what problems the boy had, he had really issues in controlling himself. How can somebody be so passionate one moment and the other so heartless? “Mello!”

“Kiss my ass, Yagami.” Mello slammed the door behind him as he entered his room. To say he was upset was an understatement, Mello was literally furious. _‘Such an idiot. I don’t need this.’_ Light had turned on TV in the other room, so much he cared about him.

 

Mello stood in front of the mirror and glanced at his miserable being. _‘When have I become so weak...?’_ Without Matt everything seemed so difficult, every minute seemed like mere survival. He touched his rosary and searched for the small sachet but then his eyes found the book on the commode. He opened the soft cover and took the photo stripe. _‘Matt...’_ A sad smile appeared on his face as he looked at the pictures. _‘Why is it so difficult...?’_ And right there was the answer. The piece of paper that he had put in the book was there, a cordless phone right there as well. He had a phone in his room? He hadn’t noticed earlier. Mello took the cordless and dialled the number. He took a deep breath and pressed the green button. It rang free but no one answered. Five rings, six rings. _‘What the hell am I doing...?’_ At the seventh ring he wanted to hang up but a rough male voice answered.

“Hello?”

“Z-Zhandos? It’s Sasha.” He said in Russian, his voice talking low.

“Oh, hey! How are you?” The Kazakh answered friendly.

“Fine... I think?” Mello heard some voices in the background on the other line. “Are you busy? I can call you another time.”

“No, it’s okay. Where you calling from?”

“From a hotel.”

“I see.” Zhandos paused and Mello didn’t know what to say. “I’m glad to hear you... I thought about you the past days.”

Did he really? Mello was quite impressed. “Me too.”

“Is something wrong?”

“I just... I need to talk to somebody...” Zhandos didn’t answer and gave him the time to collect his thoughts. “I’m kinda... I’ve lost a dear person recently and today is his birthday.”

“I’m sorry. But what about Leo? Is he not consoling you?”

“I...uhm... he is...”

“The person who died... you loved him, right?”

“How do you know?” Mello wondered.

“Guessed so. I noticed you and Leo are not really close.”

“That’s not true.”

“Then why are you secretly calling me from a hotel?”

“I’ve no phone. I broke it.”

“And you can’t use Leo’s because he’s jealous and possessive.”

Mello chuckled nervously. Light was a little control freak, wasn’t he? Damn what had he gotten himself into. “Well, that might be a point... as soon as I go back to America I’m going to buy a new one.”

“Sasha I don’t want to mind your business but... I don’t want you to be a victim of an abusive partner.”

Did he really care for him that much? After a night of flirting and a half blowjob? Or was Light right in saying he could work for Near? Mello thought he was getting obsessive. “O-okay.”

“Sorry, I’m too straightforward maybe. You wanted to talk about something else.”

“It’s okay really. It’s just that I feel... I don’t even know myself.” Mello glanced from the window, the sky was still grey and dark.

“Abandoned and lonely.”

“Yes.” Silence, long silence.

“I wish I could be there with you. I lost once a person that meant a lot to me."

"I'm sorry for that."

"You know what I do when I feel down?”

“No.”

“I write letters to him. It helps a lot. Any thought, any memory, anything I wanted to say to him or to share with him.” Mello heard again voices in the background. “I have to go now.”

“Okay.”

“I’m glad you called.”

“Me too. Bol’shoye spasibo.”

“Beregi sebya.”

“Poka.[2]” Mello hung up. Why was it so easy to talk to Zhandos who was a complete stranger? He looked at the mirror. Matt stood behind him, his arms embraced him tightly. Mello leaned his head on Matt’s shoulders.

“Happy birthday, babe. You remember what happened exactly two years ago?”

The redhead smiled and brushed the blonde’s hair. _Claro._ Mello smiled back. It was so cute when Matt talked in Spanish with his adorable accent.

 

 

 

**February 1 st 2008, JFK airport, NYC**

 

Matt walked in the huge arrival lobby. Parents were waiting for their children, children for their parents, couples who were divided were reunited. He wondered if he was going to be one of them. Matt looked around, _he_ was nowhere to find. Of course not, he was not going to wait in midst of the hubbub. Matt tried to remain calm even if his heart was racing insanely fast. He looked around, found the exit signal and was about to walk towards the corridor as his heart skipped. _He_ was there.

He was standing there, back leaned against the wall, arms crossed and left leg bent up. He was completely dressed in black, leather coat, steel toed knee high boots, tight shiny spandex pants. A large hood lined with burgundy fur was completely covering his visage, but Matt knew exactly who was hiding behind it.

Matt felt a lump in his throat, his stomach cringing, his chest aching. _‘1.152 days...’_ He stepped slowly towards the shady individual who was looking at the ground. Matt stood in front of him and dropped the travel bag on the floor. The other noticed his presence and raised his head. Matt met his eyes, those ice cold eyes that always made him feel so warm inside.

“You came.” Mello’s lips formed into a timid smile.

“You had any doubts?”

“I never took you for granted.”

 _‘Drop that fucking cold attitude.’_ Matt thought and crashed his lips on Mello’s. The blonde apparently did not expect it. After the initial shock, he uncrossed his arms and cupped Matt’s cheek before slipping his tongue in the other’s mouth. Matt felt the piercing through the blonde’s tongue, it was something new but he didn’t dislike it at all. Mello pulled him closer and deepened their kiss, it was all tongue and teeth and saliva. Matt’s arms clenched around Mello’s waist, the blonde let out a muffled moan.

Matt didn’t know for how long they kissed, nor did he care. He just wanted to kiss and bite and suck at Mello’s delicious lips. It was as they parted to reach for air, looking at each other with swollen lips that they both lost control. Mello grabbed Matt’s travel bag and dragged the ginger haired boy by his hand, leading him through the crowd.

The blonde led them both to the gent’s room. He pushed Matt in one of the toilet boxes and locked the door behind them before throwing on him again. While kissing, Mello took off his leather coat and dropped it on the ground, he did the same with Matt’s fur vest. He pushed Matt against the wall, kissed him incessantly, hands roaming all over his body. Mello pulled him up, Matt threw his legs around the other’s waist, Mello rocked their hips together, both their erections brushed against each other. Matt tangled his fingers in the blonde mane, his mouth literally devouring the other.

Mello pulled Matt down and turned him back facing him. The blonde fumbled at Matt’s belt until he was able to unbuckle it. Matt helped him and unzipped his jeans before pulling them down. Mello undid the scarf around Matt’s neck to be able to reach his skin. Matt felt warm wet lips on the top of his spine, his body shivered. A gloved hand reached between his legs, grabbed his cock and stroked him hardly. Matt threw his head back to lean on Mello’s shoulder. The blonde’s teeth slipped off the glove from the other hand, he put two fingers in his mouth and coated them with saliva.

Matt felt a finger entering him gently, as soon he got used to the feeling he felt a second one. Then he felt like set on fire. Mello’s fingers moved in and out of him; as he began to moan too loud, the gloved hand covered his mouth.

Mello slipped the glove from his other hand and took a condom from the pocket of his leather vest. He ripped the package by using his teeth, then he lowered his own pants to free his throbbing member. With an expert move, he rolled the condom over his cock using only one hand, the other one was still busy fumbling in Matt’s ass. Mello grabbed a fistful of Matt’s ginger hair and pushed him hardly against the wall.

Matt felt how Mello’s fingers withdrew from him. He felt the tip of Mello’s cock teasing his hole before entering him gently but with a concrete move. The blonde didn’t move, giving Matt time to adjust to his size. Mello bit hard on his shoulder, ignoring the fabric of the sweatshirt. He slapped Matt’s ass and then he began to move. At the beginning he was slowly, then his pace became faster, his thrusts harder; his hand was firmly holding Matt by his hipbone.

Mello has always been the dominant part between them both but he never was _that_ rough. He fucked him hardly against the wall and Matt did not care. They didn’t care either about the noise they were making, Mello’s hips slapping hardly against the other’s butt, Matt’s loud moans at each thrust. It didn’t last long, though. Mello was close and by Matt’s sounds he guessed he was as well. His hand reached between Matt’s legs and stroked his cock.

Matt felt an explosion in his loins. He growled loudly as he spilled his release all over Mello’s hand and on the ground. Mello felt Matt’s insides clenching around his cock, he leaned his forehead on Matt’s shoulder, rammed violently another time into him before releasing.

Mello remained still for some minutes, trying to regain his breath. He felt his softening member slipping from Matt’s ass and took the condom away, simply tossing it on the ground. His arms clenched around Matt’s waist and embraced him tightly. “I missed you...” He whispered and kissed Matt’s neck. Matt froze at those words. He turned and looked at those ice blue eyes, eyes that were wet and shiny, ready to cry. Matt cupped both Mello’s cheeks, wiped a tear and kissed him deeply. Three years have passed, three painfully long, frustrating years. Matt couldn’t remember how many times he had cursed at Mello, how many times he couldn’t sleep because he missed him, how many times he hated him because he had left him behind. But it didn’t matter anymore. He forgot anything. It was like they never split up, like they’ve always been together.

Mello kissed him back, interlaced their fingers together. He didn’t want to let him go, never again. Countless persons were coming in and out the restroom, knocked at their box to check if it was occupied but they didn’t care. It was a while later that they parted their kiss, Mello felt his lips aching from that sweet torture.

“Mello...” Matt gently caressed his cheek and he pressed his lips on his fingers.

“Happy 18th birthday, Matt.”

 

\---

 

Mello felt warm around his heart at that memory. It was without any doubt the most beautiful day of his life. “Što da napravim...?[3]” Mello turned but Matt wasn’t there anymore.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

[1] Prince Albert piercing

[2] Thank you very much – take care - bye

[3] What should I do…?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> artwork by me  
> it's just a quickdraw about Mello's tattoos. most of his tattoos are religious.  
> I will post one of the front in the next chapter (I had no time for both because I was on a festival during we)


	9. Angels & Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As if you didn't know how it feels to lose  
> As if you didn't know how it feels to lose at dice with fate 
> 
> At least have some dignity ...
> 
> (MGŁA - Exercises In Futility)
> 
>  
> 
> A game of seduction, who is the tempting one and who is the captive? Who is Angel and who is Demon?

 

 

 

_I’ve lost many things in my life_

_I’ve lost my childhood_

_I’ve lost my home_

_I’ve lost my mother, my father_

_I've lost my country_

_I’ve lost my faith, more than once_

_I’ve lost my grandmother, I loved her_

_I’ve lost money, I’ve lost bets_

_I’ve lost control, too many times_

_I've lost myself, my pride_

_I've lost my path, my dreams, my strength_

_I’ve lost…_

_I’ve lost you, my one and only_

_But I haven’t lost one thing_

_A thing I always find when I look in your eyes_

_Eyes pure like the ones of a child_

_When I smell your skin, when I sense your heat_

_When I feel your fingers through my hair_

_When I look at the mirror, I feel you in me_

_I haven’t lost one thing_

_And that’s hope_

_To be with you again_

_Forever_

 

Mello put down the pen and folded the paper sheet. He didn’t want to read those words again. But it was true, he felt better, at least a little. He sat still for a minute, sent a silent prayer. It was in moments like this, when he was alone and in silence, that he missed Matt so vehemently.

 _But I’m still with you, Miško_. Mello felt a soft caress through his hair. Matt had loved his blonde mane and he was always disappointed when Mello cut his hair as soon as it reached past his shoulders. He was glad when Mello decided to let his hair grow long after the explosion. Mello still didn’t know if the reason was because it helped him to cover his huge scar or because he decided to leave a part of his youth behind. Maybe because of both reasons.

Damn, his scar was itching again. It could be unbearable sometimes. Mello stood in front of the mirror and smeared marigold pomade over his disfigured skin. It was Matt who usually took care of this, Mello simply didn’t have patience for that. But it was hurting and he had to do it on his own now.

The blonde took the book and a chocolate bar and threw on the bed, reading was a welcome distraction to the recent events, to his gloomy thoughts, to Light and all his shit. It was so much better than playing videogames on Matt’s handhelds.

 

\---

 

Light knocked at the door. "Mello it's the whole day you're in there."

"Fuck off, asshole!" The blonde yelled. "I don't want to talk to you." The former brunette stepped in the room and his eyes narrowed over the blonde’s body, he was lying sidewise, his feet hanging from the bed and he was still wearing the white yukata. Just the white yukata. Mello looked at Light. _He_ didn't want to talk either. "And I'm not in the mood to fuck." He snarled and shot him an angry glance.

"That's a pity because I am." Light took something from his pocket and threw it on Mello. The blonde caught it; it was a tube of lube. How nice, was that meant to be an apology? But Mello was pissed and not in the mood for stupid jokes.

"You can suck my dick."

"You know I'm not going to do that."

"Well then, your problem." The blonde showed him his middle finger.

Light stood in front of the futon, he glanced briefly at Mello's feet, then his eyes followed the slender legs up until the seam of his yukata covered his skin. He was so fucking sexy, Light was getting obsessive about him. "Come on, princess. Don't play hard to get. I know you're a needy little whore."

Light wanted to crawl on the bed but Mello's right foot pushed him sharply back. "First don't fucking call me _princess_. Second..." Mello's other foot traced slowly Light's leg upwards until he reached his privates. He felt _everything_ through the soft track pants and, like expected, Light was already half hard. Perv. Mello wanted to let out a mischievous snigger but remained deadpan. "My ass, my rules." The blonde pushed his foot further in his balls and Light groaned. "Beg if you want it."

Light took Mello's right foot from his chest and licked his whole sole, nibbled slightly at his heel. Mello pushed it in Light's face, forcing him to open his mouth and to suck at his toes. And damn, he did it. Light already adored those small, soft fucking perfect feet. He wanted to bang the blonde senseless, he wanted those feet in his face while they did it.

Mello sucked his lower lip in as he looked satisfied at how Light has simply surrendered to him. So he had a thing for feet. _That_ was interesting. He pushed his foot back into Light's balls, pressed hardly, the fake blonde groaned.

Light was getting aware that Mello was trying to subdue him. He wasn't going to take any shit from a slut like him. Light forced Mello's legs open and threw on him but earned a hard slap in his face.

"Go down from me!" The blonde yelled but Light gave him a heavy backhander. Mello returned and tried to push him down but Light slapped him twice. Fucking hard. The second one made Mello see the stars and, while he tried to regain control, Light has tied the fabric belt of the yukata around his wrists. So that was the way he wanted it. Mello wriggled under him and tried to free but a backhander slap hit his cheek and made him bite his own tongue, his face burned.

Light buried his fingers in his cheeks. "Will you keep still?" Mello smirked and licked Light's mouth; he could taste slight traces of blood.

"Come on, daddy. Give it to me." Mello groaned under him and Light felt how his cock was already hard. So he liked that too, that wicked little bastard.

"Oh princess." Light sat up and smirked evilly. "My cock, my rules." He reached for the tube and squeezed some lube on his fingers. Mello felt the cold liquid as Light traced over his hole. "You have to beg for it."

"That's not fair!" Mello panted as he pushed directly two fingers into him. “I said that first!” The fingers in him began to move exasperatingly slow, little by little. Mello groaned in frustration and threw one leg over Light's shoulder.

"Come on. Say it." Light pushed a third finger in. Mello wheezed and gasped, his cheeks were already flushed. So lovely. Light kept thrusting his fingers in the blonde, but now he did it hard and fast as he had asked earlier. He couldn't go on too much though, it was _too_ exciting and Light wanted to fucking bang that ass before he came. "Say it!" Light demanded but Mello didn't. He had to force a little but then his little finger slipped finally in. Light pushed his hand forth until it arrived at the base of his thumb. Mello's eyes widened and hissed loud as he felt four fingers in him. It wasn't his first time but Matt's hand was way smaller than Light's.

"Fuck me... please."Mello begged while biting his own forearm. Light withdrew his hand and noticed a tiny amount of blood on it. Was it too much? Mello noticed as well but shrugged. "Happens... just be careful." Light cleaned the blood on the sheets. He reached for the lube, squeezed a generous amount on his hand and was attentive to coat his cock well.

Mello threw both his legs over Light's shoulders. Light pushed slowly in and lowered down, giving him a short time to adjust. He wondered if Mello wouldn't break in this position; his knees were next to his ears but he didn't seem uncomfortable. Especially not as he rolled his hips up until Light's dick was _completely_ in. "Come on, daddy. Fuck me like a whore." There was no way Light was going to last long.

Light had imagined himself having sex with Mello a couple of times before it happened. He imagined how the blonde wanted it slow and gentle, matching up with his delicate appearance and his high emotionality. But it wasn’t the case. Mello wanted it rough, he wanted it fast. Light had never imagined finding such a little beast in his bed. He wasn’t disappointed, though; he wasn’t at all. He liked it to hear muffled moans that he smothered with his own mouth. He liked to look in those shiny fair eyes while he pounded hardly in that perfect ass, while his balls slapped against the pale skin of his cheeks. He liked it to feel him tight around his cock. The only thing that bugged him was to feel Mello's sharp teeth biting his flesh.

It was hard for Light to keep up with Mello, it was hard because the blonde was so damn exciting. Mello knew exactly what he wanted, Light didn't know anything. He only knew that he wanted Mello in every possible way. Light thrust hard and fast into him, but at the same time aware to be not too harsh, he tried to not hurt him. Mello's breath increased, his moans became higher, he closed his eyes, bit hard into his own biceps.

Mello came before Light this time. The blonde cried out, his cock twitched against his own chest, his insides clenched around Light. And then Light felt heat in his loins, a violent explosion right after. He lowered his head, caught the blonde's lips with his, kissed him gently, lazily. He felt Mello's warm sperm between them as he freed his legs from their trap. Did he care? No, he did not.

Light's thumb traced gently over Mello's cupid's bow, he stared into those clear eyes and realized, he looked so innocent, so pure.

“Who are you, Mello?” Light's fingertips caressed softly his nose, his cheeks.

Mello answered with a phrase Matt used to describe him. “Angel to some, demon to others.”

“I want to see your demon.” Light placed his hand on Mello's chest.

Mello freed his hands from the tie with a quick move and rolled on top of Light. “You wouldn’t be able to handle me.” The blonde pinned both his wrists into the mattress.

"How were you able to undo the knot?"

"You really think I would let myself into something without knowing a way out?" Light has underestimated him. A simple knot done with a fabric tie was too easy for him. Mello had to escape situations that were way trickier than this.

 

\---

 

“Do you know why I told you these stories?”

Mello shakes his head and remains silent.

“Because I think you’re the best in here, M... But you’re unable to focus properly on your tasks and your emotions get often in your way... You’re undisciplined and ungovernable.”

Mello still doesn’t answer. He always had looked up to _him_ , but now _he_ is standing in front of him and Mello finds him abhorrent. _He_ is a disgusting view and those dilated pupils are showing the ugliness of his soul, the darkness of his being.

“Isn’t it like that, M? Hm?”

Mello still doesn’t talk but he is becoming nervous, very nervous. The man standing in front of him, staring into his own eyes makes him feel uneasy. When he felt in danger, Mello’s right hand instinctively touched is rosary. He could feel the Lord closer, the Angel protecting him. Like now, Mello’s fingers close around the cross. _His_ eyes narrow down and he shakes his head, a grin of mockery appeared on his thin lips.

“Don’t believe in such rubbish.”

Mello’s grip tightens around the metal pendant.

“And don’t waste your time with people who don’t deserve it. You’re here to become my successor... not to make friends.”

Mello raises an eyebrow. What did he just say?

“I know what’s going on with you and your ginger friend... You’ll never become the number one if you get distracted so easily... have you ever thought about... what if it’s just trickery?”

Mello feels anger burning in his chest but tries to remain controlled.

“He’s quite intelligent as well... maybe more than you... or maybe not. And maybe he’s doing it with you because he wants to be better than _you_.”

 _His_ long finger touches Mello’s chest. The blonde hits his hand away. “You are nobody to judge me! Only God can judge me!”

Eyes already dark become even darker, he steps closer, he looks different, he’s taller, evil, dangerous. _He_ clasps his hand around Mello’s throat, his nose touches him, Mello can smell his unpleasant scent. He feels like his soul is getting scanned by those dilated pupils, pupils dark as the void.

“Listen well, little punk! If you don’t learn to control yourself, you’ll never be able to succeed me. You’ll end up like A and B..." _He_ chuckles evilly. "And since you’re too fierce to simply commit suicide like A, I think there’s a 90% possibility you’ll end up like B.”

Mello tries to speak but the fingers around his neck tighten again, he coughs loud, his sight becomes blurred.

“You would be so much better than N... if only you would learn to restrain your emotions... but you are weak.”

Mello frees from the grasp. “I’m not a sheep like Near!” He yells and runs towards the door.

“The step from genius to monster is short.” The voice behind him laughs evilly but Mello rushes out the room. He doesn’t want to listen to him anymore. “You just want to win because you don’t know how to lose.”

_There are many types of monsters in this world. Monsters who will not show themselves and cause troubles. Monsters who abduct children. Monsters who devours dreams. Monsters who suck blood. And monsters who always tell lies._

_‘I’m not like him. I don’t want to be like him.’_ Mello speeds along the corridor, runs up the stairs and hurries in his room. He locks the door, it was dark. _‘Not like him, not like him.’_ Shaky hands light up a candle, make the cross sign. He steps in front of the mirror but there is not his reflection. A figure with pitch black hair is smiling at him. It is not the wizard who changed his hair colour. It is someone else. Someone he has never seen but he exactly knew who it was. Red eyes lined in black look directly into his soul, the smile on his thin lips turns into a malevolent grin. Mello steps back, the candle falls from his hand. He looks at his palms, his hands are stained with blood. The black haired one laughs like a demon. _You are me._ Mello screams.

 

\---

 

Mello woke up, a dream, _the_ bad dream, again. He blinked a couple of times, focused his glance on something in front of him. Round yellow eyes shined like full moons, red pupils stared at him, a cruel mouth full of sharp, pointed teeth laughed evilly.

“No!” Mello screamed and covered his eyes. “I’m not like you!”

 

A harsh shriek woke Light from his sleep. Mello sat next to him, he was hugging his legs and his face was leaning on his knees. He murmured confused words and looked quite dishevelled. Light’s suspicious glance scanned the whole room. Something was wrong.

“Mello?” The blonde didn’t answer but let himself pull in a tight embrace. “Shhh, it’s okay.” Light caressed gently his hair, it was sticking to Mello's sweaty skin. “It was just a nightmare.” He whispered in his ear and kissed his temple. Mello nodded and leaned further in his embrace.

Light held him tight until he has calmed down a little. “Shall I make a brew? Maybe something warm is going to help you to calm down and to sleep again.” Mello nodded and Light pressed a kiss on his forehead.

Light reached for Mello’s yukata and threw it on before leaving the room.

 

 

Mello sat alone in the darkness, took deep breaths and tried to remain calm. It was just a dream, wasn’t it? No, it was not. Mello sensed something, he felt something, he _smelled_ it; there were traces of sulphur and dust in the air. Evil has been here. The blonde’s attention got caught by a slight shine coming from the wall in front of him. A mirror, right facing him while he was sleeping. _Mirrors are portals for spirits, and not all of them are benevolent._ His grandmother had taught him well to protect himself from evil[1]. Mello jumped from the bed and rushed to his bathroom. He threw the huge bath towel over the mirror, then he knelt in front of it. The index of his right hand began to trace a specific sigil on the ground while he recited a spell. His left hand was holding tightly his rosary on his heart.

“Per Adonai Elohim, Adonai Jehovah, Adonai Sabaoth, Metatron…”

It was an invocation tattooed on his forearm but not as reminder, they were words he knew too well. Like a prayer, like a mantra. It was to protect him. Evil comes when you less expect it.

 

 

Light closed the door behind him. "What are you doing here?" He whispered but his tone was angry.

The shinigami chuckled mockingly. "Did I interrupt your fun?"

"Do you have something important to say or are just here to annoy me?" Light filled the water heater and put it on the base.

"I have some news."

Light hit the power button and turned towards the shinigami, crossing his arms. "Go on."

"The SPK is almost sure that both notebooks are fake."

 _'Just as planned.'_ Light smirked self-satisfied. "Where's the real page?"

Ryuk giggled and handed him a torn-out page full of scrabbles. "Here." Light took the page and, in exchange, he grabbed one of the apples from the fruit bowl and threw it at the shinigami.

"What about Light Yagami? Is he still alive?"

Ryuk has devoured the apple in one bite and Light held another one in his hand, offering it to the shinigami. Ryuk's pointed tongue traced over his own thin blue lips before taking the second apple, but this time eating it little by little. It was so easy to manipulate this stupid shinigami through his addiction for apples. Just too easy. There was a Christian myth about apples and demons, wasn’t it? He might ask Mello later about it. Maybe he could learn something useful.

"Near still thinks you're Kira and you've disappeared to hide and seek help. Some of the Task Force agree with him, while some of the SPK think you've been kidnapped by Kira. Nobody is sure about anything only Matsuda is still convinced you are not Kira." Ryuk told him while munching the red apple. So there was still chaos among them, which was good. "Why is that a good thing?" The shinigami wondered as he noticed Light's pleased expression.

"They are all groping in the dark. The fact of the fake notebooks is confusing them even more now, especially since no killings happened since January 27th. I'll put Kira on hold for now. Sooner or later they'll let their guard down. And then _I_ will strike." Light chuckled and the shinigami noticed how his expression changed dramatically. He looked like he could be able to kill someone with a simple look. Light took another apple and held it in his hand, he played with the fruit. "Mello already gave me all the real names of the SPK members." He just needed Near's and then his plan would finally be complete.

"Is your boyfriend trying to match you to him? Nice teeth tattooed on your skin." Ryuk pointed at the bite marks all over Light's chest, neck and shoulders and giggled like crazy. Damn Mello and his nasty mouth. _'Next time I'm going to gag him if he doesn't keep still.'_ Light tightened the yukata around his chest to partially cover Mello's marks. "So in the end you gave way to temptation." Ryuk chuckled and wanted to snatch the apple from Light's hand but the fake blonde kept the red fruit close to his body.

"It's not about my pleasure." Why did he feel the need to justify to the stupid shinigami? Or was he trying to justify himself? "He is weak in spirit. He needs attachment, affection even. He's not able to stay on his own." Ryuk chuckled. "If the way to his mind is through his bed, it doesn’t matter."

"Don’t enjoy it too much, Light. Maybe you're going to like it." Ryuk laughed and swirled around.

Stupid shinigami. It wasn’t like that. Sure, there was mutual attraction between him and Mello but nothing more. He wouldn't develop feelings for him. But maybe Mello would. Maybe he could deceive him till the blonde would fall for him. He was so fragile at the moment, so much in the desperate need for someone to take care of him.

Light just needed him as tool to get what he wanted. And when he wouldn’t need him anymore, well, then he would get rid of him like he has with anyone else. Because he was worth nothing.

"If you dare to spy at us, it will have nasty consequences. Now go, I need you to keep watch." The water was boiling and Light browsed through the various tea bags.

"I already told you I'm not at your service." The shinigami sneered and his tongue hung out. He was literally craving for that blood red juicy apple.

Light slammed his hand on the table. "Do as I say, Ryuk. Humans may not be able to kill a shinigami but I might be able to torture you." Ryuk tilted his head sideways. "I'll shove so many apples up your ass that you'll choke on it. You may not die but at least you'll keep your mouth shut."

Ryuk laughed, it amused him. "Did you learn to talk like that from your new boyfriend?" Light threw the apple to Ryuk and the shinigami disappeared. Finally peace again. Light filled two mugs and walked towards Mello's room.

 

Mello was kneeling naked on the ground, his hands folded, eyes closed. He whispered the same words over and over again. "In nomine Patris, et Filii et Spiritus Sancti. Non timebor mala.[2]"

"Mello, come on, get up. You’ll catch a cold." Light helped the blonde up and guided him to the bed, put the duvet over his shoulders. "Here." He sat on the bed next to him and handed him a cup. Mello held it between his hands. Light turned on the lampshade on his nightstand.

"Whom were you talking to?"

"Hm?" Light blew over the hot tea and took a sip. "Nobody. You're still confused." Mello nodded and smelled at the tea. "What did you dream about?" Light wondered and tried to change subject. "What were you doing on the floor? Were you praying again?"

Mello took a sip of tea and tried to find the right words. He wasn’t sure Light would take him seriously. "It was not just a dream... it was... something was here."

Light raised an eyebrow. So emotionality brought along extreme sensitiveness to supernatural forces. Why would he have been able to sense Ryuk in his sleep otherwise? "Mello, I already told you the devil does not exist."

Mello's eyes glanced at him, he had a strange stare. "The true power of evil is making people think it doesn’t exist."

It didn't made sense to discuss about this with Mello. He had his Credo and he would stick to it. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Mello took a sip of warm tea.

"What is the Christian myth about apples and evil?" Light wondered.

"You mean the forbidden fruit?" Light nodded. Ah, Genesis, Mello's favourite book in the Bible. "Well, God created man and woman, Adam and Eve, and they lived in the Garden of Eden. _And Jehovah God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die._ " Mello recited the verse out of his memory, first in Hebrew and then he repeated it in English. "The Devil, disguised as serpent tempted Eve. _And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: for God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as God, knowing good and evil._ The woman, seduced by the wish of knowledge ate the fruit and offered it to the man. God cursed them and banned them from the Garden of Eden and with it, from eternal life. Though, there are controversies if it was actually an apple or not. In Hebrew it is simply described as _fruit_."

 _'Interesting.'_ Light was truly fascinated by it. "Thus the fruit acted as tool of temptation so that the serpent could seduce them?"

"Exactly."

“But why did the serpent want to seduce them? What was its purpose?”

Mello made the cross sign and kissed the pendant of his rosary. “Satan seduced first Eve and through her Adam to prove God he had more power than him.”

Like _he_ was doing with the stupid shinigami. Light was the serpent and he was seducing Ryuk with apples. Light was impressed how easily manipulable beings could be. "Do you feel a little better?" Light raised Mello's chin and looked deep into his fair eyes. He still looked at little anxious. "Not really, right?" Mello nodded and finished his tea.

Mello put the empty cup on the nightstand, not leaving Light's eyes with his. _'What is he up to?'_ The blonde crawled on all four towards Light, he kissed him softly. Light cupped the back of his head and kissed him back, their tongues brushed together, gently, lazily. It was not a hungry kiss, it was the need of affection and attention. But Mello was a timebomb and once the flame was lit, it burnt. Their kiss turned slowly into a hungry, wanting, demanding one. Did he want to fuck _again_?

"There's a way to make me feel better." Mello nibbled at Light's lover lip, his pierced tongue traced it sensually.

"Are you not sore?"

Mello smirked. "I don’t want to get fucked. I need to fuck." He already knew the answer, he already knew Light's precious ass was taboo, but there were many other ways. The blonde sat on Light's lap and kissed him again. It didn’t take them long to become hard, both of them. Mello's hips rubbed lasciviously over Light's, moved rhythmically. The blonde's hands undid the yukata, then he took both their erections in his hand rubbed them together, stroked them together.

"Oh my god..." Light gasped in Mello's mouth. Why was he so damn perfect, whatever he did?

"Don't mention the Lord in vain..." Mello gently scolded him before lowering his mouth on Light's again. His hips began to ride him slow, his pace increased gradually as did the rhythm with which he stroked their both cocks.

“Believe me, it’s not in vain.” Light's hands traced over Mello's spine, squeezed his ass, touched his thighs. His lips brushed the soft skin of his tattooed chest, his tongue circled around a pierced nipple, teeth gently nibbled at the small nub. He inhaled greedily his intoxicating scent and became aware that Mello was _his_ forbidden fruit. But since nobody knew about it, it didn’t matter. He would eat from him as many times as he could. Light tried to remove Mello’s rosary but the blonde’s hands forbid him to do so. There was something about Mello’s devotion Light was jealous about. Why did it bug him so much?

Light felt his lust building up, his peak approaching slowly. "Come for me, daddy." Mello whispered in his ear and licked his lobe.

"Don't call me daddy." It was weird, too weird.

"How shall I call you then?"

Light cupped both his cheeks and looked in his eyes. _‘Kira. Call me Kira and praise me as your god.’_ "Light... call me Light."

Mello nodded and kissed him again. "Light..." He moaned in the other's mouth. Mello's stokes were fast now, powerful. Light squeezed his ass, leaned his head on Mello's shoulder, then his arms closed around him as he came. Mello felt the other cock twitching and then a shot of warm sperm on his hand. He let the other go and focused on himself, smeared Light's sperm all over his own erection. Light kissed Mello's neck and shoulders, the blonde moaned softly and panted and followed him soon. Light laid back and pulled the blonde down with him, cupped his head, kissed him. Each thing the blonde did with him was overwhelming. He could get used to it and _that_ wasn't good. His fingers tangled in the blonde mane till their lips parted. Mello looked down, Light smiled at him, he smiled back. The blonde shifted his body and became aware that their both sperm was sticking between them. He lowered, kissed Light's chest downwards until he reached his stomach and lapped Light's semen mixed with his own from his skin. Wasn’t that disgusting? But well, if Mello enjoyed that, should he do what he wanted.

Mello sat up and kissed Light again in his mouth. He tasted slightly of sperm but the taste wasn’t that bad actually. As their lips parted, Light traced Mello's beautiful mouth with his thumb. He was pretty, so pretty. Angel or demon, whatever he was didn’t matter. "You never get enough, don't you?"

Mello shook his head and smirked. "I've one rule in my life. _Never_ enough."

 

* * *

 

 

[1] In Eastern Europe, lot of superstition is/was connected to Christian religion, depends on the places but it is often part of folklore. Mello’s grandma, who was devoted Catholic and the reason why he is so attached to his credo, taught him a lot about deep rooted traditions and superstitions. Sleeping in front of mirrors and looking at them in the dark or candlelight has to be avoided because mirrors are like windows.

[2] I fear no evil

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the part of Mello's nightmare is a recurring dream, a fusion between a reminescence from when he had met L and a deep fear he carries inside himself.
> 
> artwork by me as usual, I suck at drawing hands but it's just a quickdraw.  
> about the tattoo meaning, just ask)
> 
> thanks for reading!


	10. Beautiful liars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Worth the pain that has burned me and scarred my soul  
> For having been allowed to walk where I have walked  
> Which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth and back again
> 
> [Harakiri For The Sky - Heroin Waltz]
> 
>  
> 
> This was supposed to be a short chapter but somehow the guys manage to fuck all the time, I don't know what to say.))  
> Smut chapter with big revelation.

* * *

 

 

“We’ve been here for three days and we have not even had a bath in the springs.” Mello glanced from the window while chewing on a piece of chocolate; the sky was bright blue today.

“I don’t think you're allowed in there.”

“Why not?”

“Not all onsen allow tattooed people to bathe.”

“But that’s not fair!” The blonde lamented. “Why?”

“Because people relate tattoos to the yakuza." Light explained him that Mafiosi were not well seen in Japan.

"Come on, Light. Can you ask if we can go? I never was in a hot spring like these." 

 

"Okay." Light hung up the phone. "You are not allowed in the large spring." Mello rolled his eyes. "But we can rent one of the small ones for us alone for a couple of hours. Is that enough, princess?"

"Yeah!"

"It's quite expensive so I expect you're appreciative."

"Ay, boss!" Mello mimicked the military salute, Light had to smile. When the blonde was not crying or complaining or annoying him, he could be rather a dopey. Light liked that, it was amusing, Mello was adorable when his childish trait shined through. "But you know, I can be _very_ grateful." Mello sent him a lecherous glance. There he was again, the annoying kid.

"Show me your gratitude by behaving well while we're out."

 

 

Mello almost never took off his rosary. It was made of red garnet stones and gold; it was not properly delicate but he was afraid the sulphurous waters could damage it someway. It was too precious to him, it was the only valuable item his grandmother had ever possessed. He took possession of it when she died and kept it dear. He only exchanged the original cross pendant with one with hidden compartment and attached the original cross to his gun.

 

Light sat in the hot water, chills of heat filled his body. He needed that, it felt good and so relaxing. He hoped Mello would be quiet for at least _one_ hour.

The blonde jumped in the pond, water splashed everywhere. So much to Mello's graceful movements and Light's hope of him being quiet. Mello emerged in front of Light, water's surface barely covering his privates, he looked even hotter than under normal circumstances. Light tried to ban those dirty thoughts from his mind. Not here, not now. Mello leaned his arms on the poolside and let his body float in the water. His foot reached Light's stretched out leg and brushed slowly over his shin.

"Hey, Light. Wanna make out?"

Light winced, did he really ask that? That boy had no decency and to make matters worse, he looked so outrageously sensual. Wet hair was hanging in his face, sticking to his body, cunning eyes were looking at him, a cheeky smile appeared on his lips. Yes, Light wanted to make out but they couldn't do it, not _here_.

"Mello, I told you to behave. The spring waters can't be soiled." Mello raised an eyebrow and thought it was just a foul excuse. "I'm serious."

"Yeah whatever..." Mello closed his eyes and laid his head back.

Light sighed in relief but the quiet didn’t last long.

"How is your name actually spelled in Japanese? Laito?"

"Raito."

"Rrraito." Mello followed Light's pronunciation emphasizing the _R_. "Hey Raito-kun?"

_'Please not that stupid suffix.'_ Light pinched the bridge of his nose. "What is it?"

"Wanna make out?" The blonde smirked mischievously.

"Mello, no."

"But if I blow you-"

"Mello!"

"I'm going swallow all your cum and the water won't be soiled."

"What did I tell you?” Light calmed down, fighting fire with fire made no sense. “Come on, blondie. Be a good boy for me. I'm asking nicely."

"Fine, Raito-kun."

"And don’t call me Raito-kun!"

"Why not? It's cute."

"It's not. L used to call me like that and I hated it." Light hated it when his fellow students in college called him like this, he hated it when L called him like this, he simply hated that stupid nickname and hated L's viscid personality. He simply hated everything.

Mello glanced up to the sky, the sun was setting already, dying sunrays painted stunning colours on the upcoming clouds. He felt in a good mood today. And Mello could be quite exasperating when he was in a good mood.

"Tell me, Raito-kun." Mello's toes brushed against Light's ankle. "Have you ever fucked with L?"

Light's eyes widened in disbelief and disgust. "Are you stupid?"

"While you were confined in prison? Or while you were chained to him? Did he harass you? Or did you seduce him to get your freedom back?" Mello played with the metal stud in his tongue. His toes traced slowly over Light's shin but he withdrew his leg. Why was Mello playing footsie with him arousing him so much? "You know what I'd do to you if I'd be handcuffed to you?"

_'How the fuck did he find out about this?'_ Light stared at him. "How do you know?"

"What, about your imprisonment?" Light nodded but Mello shrugged and didn’t answer his question. “Or about what I want to do to you now?”

"No really. I thought all information regarding the Kira case that were in L's possession have been deleted."

Mello chuckled and brushed his bangs back, revealing his fair eyes. "Believe me, we got those information."

" _We_ who?"

"Matt and his hacker team. They were able to restore all the data in L and W's possession some months ago. It has taken them a while, though. But I got confirmation about _all_ my suppositions about the Kira case."

"That's not possible."

"Sure it is." Mello smirked. "You remember a couple of years ago, when the NASA server has been hacked?" Light nodded but what had that to do with it? "Or when whole China remained without internet connection for 48 hours? Or wait, even better." Mello snapped his fingers. "When the Vatican data had been hacked, thus exposing cases of paedophile priests?" Of course Light remembered. He had written all their names in the notebook and made them die of a terrible death. "It was _them_ and they did it just because they were bored. Restoring L's data wasn’t that big deal after all."

Yes, Matt was a lazy ass but if there was something the redhead was good about, it was hacking and numbers. _'Such a pity he's dead, I could need someone like him.’_ Light noticed for himself. But on the other hand, Mello got close to Light only because of Matt's death.

"So did you or did you not?"

"Hell no! He was ugly and was dressed as a bum. And his hair was always dirty and smelly. And he had shadows under his eyes. Just no, okay?"

"Uh-hu really?"

"Yeah. Have you ever met L?"

"Hm, no." Mello lied. He didn’t want to share details about that one unpleasant meeting. Now he wanted to annoy Light, it was too funny. "So you don't like ugly people?"

"I don't like ugly people and I don't like dark-haired ones." Mello laughed but Light was serious. The blonde tilted his head sideways, looked confused. "I've never had any experience with men prior to you, honestly." Light admitted and blushed slightly.

"Any? Not even a kiss, nothing?" Mello asked for confirmation and Light nodded. “Gay porn?” Light shook his head. That explained his prejudice towards homosexuals. The blonde leaned his head on the poolside and remained silent. Well it wasn’t actually bad to be the one who converted him, but Mello kept it for himself.

 

Light enjoyed the silence but it didn’t last long. Mello's voice intoned again, he chirped coquettish and in moments like this he reminded Light at Misa. And like Misa, he wanted to strangle him.

"You still have the handcuffs you used to kidnap me?" Mello sat up straight and pulled the golden metal stud through his teeth, playing provocatively with it. Light tried to ignore him. Mello swam towards Light and stood up in front of him. The sun had already set and the temperature dropped consistently, dense steam danced on the water’s surface. Goose bumps formed on Mello's skin, his nipples hardened a little. Light glanced up to the blonde. In the twilight he looked like a sort of divine being. _'Control yourself, dammit!'_ Light reprehended himself. "I'd like you to kidnap me once more." Light's cock twitched at those words, he was glad it was no more daylight.

"Do you have to talk all the time?" Mello showed his middle finger, Light grabbed his wrist to tug him down towards him. "Come on now, sit still and relax."

"Mh." Mello protested but did as Light demanded.

The former brunette turned the blonde so he was back facing him. He brushed his long hair forwards then his fingers traced over his shoulders. "You're tense." Light's thumbs traced the area between Mello's shoulder blades up to his neck, gentle but firmly he smoothed all the knots under his skin. The blonde purred in response. He was really enjoying it. Light's fingers kneaded his shoulders and released all the tension.

While Light massaged Mello's back he observed the ink drawings which stood in contrast with the pale skin. His eyes followed the huge scar that extended from his neck to his left shoulder. His lips kissed it softly. "Better?"

"Yeah." Mello whispered and Light shifted closer. He kissed the area between neck and shoulders, arrived to the back of his neck, Mello leaned his head back. "But that's not fair, you said I have to behave..."

Light ignored Mello's protests, continued to kiss his spine, nibbled at his skin. His hands pulled him closer, traced his chest, down over his toned abdomen until he reached his already hardening cock, stroked it softly, played teasingly with the jewel through its head. "Light..." Mello gasped. He was indeed behaving because he wanted to shove his cock deep into Light's mouth until he choked on it. "Don't torment me like that..."

"I never said _I_ was the one to behave." Mello felt how Light was stroking himself behind his back. The blonde wondered that Light was going to break the rules like that but Light has already figured out the situation. It was darkening outside and some plants were halfway covering the sight to the small pond. Out of sight out of mind, right? It was not his fault if Mello felt so good, smelt so good, tasted so good. It was _him_ who has provoked Light after all. "Sit on me." Light commanded softly but Mello did something that Light did not expect.

The blonde sat on him but was still back facing him. Light coated two fingers with saliva and scissored Mello's hole a little. Now that he had more or less understood how it worked between men he wanted to enjoy each step. Light held him close and played with him a little while until Mello's hand reached down and impaled himself on Light's cock. The younger one arched his spine, threw his head back and tried to not moan loudly. The fake blonde bit hard the other one's shoulder, pulled him down until he was completely in. Was Mello going to ride him? No way. _He_ wanted control.

Light rolled his hips up and trust into the blonde, his hands held him close, his teeth occasionally nipped Mello's soft skin. "Am I a good boy now?" Mello panted.

Light chuckled and shoved his cock deeper into him. "You've never been a good boy." Light grabbed a fistful of blonde hair and pulled harshly back. Mello groaned as low as he could. Light knew exactly that if Mello wanted, he could free from his grasp and the fact he did not, meant the little bastard liked it. Light was glad about that, very glad.

Light pushed two fingers in Mello's mouth, the blonde sucked and licked at them. His hand travelled down and stroked his own cock while Light was pounding into his ass. Not fast but hard, very hard. Light closed his fingers around Mello's neck and became aware that the boy was not wearing his rosary. Good, that was good, it meant that Mello was only _his_ now, that he didn't have to share him to another absurd deity. _'If only he would adore me like he worships his god...'_

Mello's breath has become more intense, the strokes on himself faster. "Are you coming?" Light whispered and bit down on his neck.

"So close..." Mello moaned. Light wanted him to come first, he wanted to feel when he climaxed because _of him_ , he wanted to feel when he tightened around him. Light pulled Mello down by his shoulders, thrust deeply in him until the blonde released.

Light felt his insides clenching around him, he was close as well. But then Mello stood up. _'What is he doing?'_ Light's eyes widened as the blonde knelt in front of him, lowered his head between his legs and finished him off with an underwater blowjob. Light felt his soft tongue, the hard metal stud, his lips closing around him. And as he came Mello sucked every drop from him, Light had to bite down hard in his hand to restrain his growl. He was driving him insane.

 

\---

 

Light didn’t know that Mello had sleep disorders and since Matt’s death he fell again into the vicious circle he suffered during the years he was on his own. Mello’s state went from insomnia at night to clinomania at daytime. Light thought the blonde was just lazy but he was not. Mello was not lazy, he was mentally exhausted and felt no motivation to do anything. He spent most of the day laying around on the couch and reading or watching TV or, when Light wanted to follow news about the Kira case, playing on Matt’s handhelds. Once he was wearing Matt’s striped shirt, Light told him explicitly it was macabre and disturbed but Mello didn't care. He had washed all the blood from the shirt, so what was wrong about it. It was just a relic of his beloved, the cloth he wore at the hour of his death. It was like the Holy Shroud of Christ. There was nothing wrong. Light was just an insensitive idiot.

Light spent most of the time doing researches on his laptop, Mello was mostly quiet, sometimes he drank a beer and smoked a joint or two. All in all he behaved well, he made no attempts to throw another excess party or to snuff cocaine again.

Light and Mello did not interact with each other most of the time. When they did not fuck, they either ignored each other or, when Mello was bored, the blonde annoyed his former kidnapper. Which lead, of course, to them fucking again because Light couldn’t tolerate Mello’s insolence and the only way to make him stay shut was sex. Mello did not complain, it was exactly what he wanted.

Sometimes the blonde complained about things not even Misa would. Like when he cried out that he had breakout and Light told him it was because he ate too much chocolate. Light had earned some insults in Mello’s native language and a slap in his face, and Mello received a hard fuck against the wall.

 

\---

 

Light decided it was better to not spend too much time in one place, so they moved to another hotel in Sendai, on the main isle Honshu.

Mello was bored from the trip and decided it was time to annoy Light again. It was his favourite pastime now. The younger one began to give him idiot nicknames and Light tried to ignore him as much as possible. However, Mello was good in crossing the line and as he began to insult his family name Light didn’t react well.

"Does your surname have a meaning?"

"No." Light lied, but it had. It had a deep meaning to be honest but Light decided it wasn’t Mello's business; they were not friends at that level yet.

"Au contraire." The blonde emptied a can of beer and extinguished the rolled cigarette in it. "Have you ever noticed that Yagami spelled backwards is I’m-a-gay?"

"Mello, my patience has limits." Light growled at the blonde. "And I'm not gay!"

"What do you call it then to fuck with another guy, heh?" Mello laughed mockingly. "At least you're bisexual."

"Last warning, blondie. Keep your nasty mouth shut!"

"I bet you never had a good fuck like me, right Raito-kun I’m-a-gay?"

Light stopped the car. "Now I show you who is gay, you little bastard." He tore Mello from his seat and threw him on the backseats. He launched on the blonde and kissed his vicious mouth forcefully. Mello's arms closed around Light's waist and pulled him closer, spread his legs and rolled his hips up to meet Light's growing erection.

_'Always ready, huh?'_ The blonde smirked into the kiss. Light literally ripped off the sneakers and track pants from Mello’s body. He reached for the lube and lowered his own pants down to his knees, coated himself well and toyed Mello's ass to get him ready. The blonde groaned and bit down hard on Light's shoulder as he entered him.

Yes, Mello could be a real pain in the ass but it was simply solved with a fuck. Light did not complain.

 

**Two years ago, Redrock Randsburg Rd, California**

 

Matt was enjoying his new car, a fiery red 1968 Chevrolet Camaro RS/SS, a gift from Mello. He loved it, Matt was never the superficial kind of guy but _this_ was the car of his dreams. Just one thing was missing and that was fucking his mafia queen on the backseats.

They stopped the car in the middle of nowhere. Matt threw on Mello. It was unbearably hot that day, they let the back door open to not get cooked alive in the car. Occasionally a vehicle passed and honked at them but they didn’t care. They were young and beautiful and way too horny to give a shit.

Matt was pounding deep into Mello, the blonde hooked his legs on his elbows to spread further. Matt kissed Mello's damp chest, where a cross has been tattooed recently. The blonde tasted salty and sweet at the same time, beads of sweat covered his skin. It was so damn hot, Matt was not used to Californian temperatures but he didn’t care. He had Mello now, again and forever. His hands traced over his pale legs, his head raised and he looked deep into those ice cold eyes.

"I would never have imagined you being fucked by me, Mells." Matt groaned, it was just perfect. Amazing car, amazing boyfriend, amazing sex.

Mello smirked. "Don’t get used to it." Matt lowered his head and kissed him gently. "Te amo, loco." The blonde whispered between their kisses.

"I don’t understand."

"Never mind." Mello smiled and shook his head. Matt kissed him once more, nibbled at his lips, their hands found each other, fingers interlaced and squeezed.

As Matt raised his head again, Mello removed the goggles from Matt’s visage and tossed them somewhere on the front seats.

Mello looked in those deep blue eyes. They reminded him at the Black Sea; they reminded him at so many things. In three years he had not forgot them. Mello’s fingers ran through Matt's messy ginger hair and lowered his head to meet his soft lips.

 

\---

 

Mello kissed him hard, as the other raised his head he became aware it was not Matt. His fingers ran through dark blonde hair, amber eyes looked lustful at him, no freckles adorned his skin.

Light's hand traced over Mello's slender thigh, squeezed his hipbones, his ass. It was like Mello was burning, Light felt blazes where he touched the blonde’s soft skin. Mello was like kerosene, it was like he set everything on fire. He had to be _very_ cautious because playing with fire was a dangerous game. Light hooked Mello's right leg on his arm, thrust harder into him, deeper, faster. His hand found Mello's, their fingers interlaced and held tight.

Light gazed at the blonde, found his eyes. Why did he look so sad, so distant? His body seemed to enjoy but his mind seemed so far away.

"What are you thinking?" Light kissed his swollen lips.

"Nothing." Mello lied and wrapped his arms around Light's neck, kissed him, closed both his legs around his ass to push him deeper into him.

_'Stay with me, be mine, I don’t just want your body. Think of me, dream of me, long for me, praise me.'_ Light didn’t let go of Mello's hand, kissed him, fucked him, tried to hold him there with him.

No, it was not Matt, Mello realized. He knew it was a lie but it wasn’t important because it was the only thing that didn't make him feel dead right now.

 

\---

 

Light chose another expensive hotel with 24h room service to avoid them to run around too often. They couldn’t find a suite with separate bedrooms, so they had to share one room and one king-size bed.

 

"Go out and buy me nail polish remover." Light raised an eyebrow and Mello showed him both hands. "And black nail polish. Please. Thanks."

"Excuse me?"

"I can't stay like this, look it's all chipped."

"You're kidding me?"

"No."

"Why do you even paint your nails?" It was one of the gay things Mello did that Light didn’t understand.

"Hey, it's not just because of the look, you know. It's to prevent me from biting nails."

"You want to see how to avoid chewing on your nails?" Light grabbed Mello's wrist and dragged him towards the table. He tossed the blonde on the ground and handcuffed his arms behind his back around the table leg.

"And now?" Mello's legs closed around Light's waist. "Are you going to punish me?"

"Shut the fuck up." Light hit him hard in the face. "I can't stand your whining anymore!"

"Fuck you!" Mello hissed but smirked mischievously. Light gave him a backhander slap that made his face turn sideways. Light took his chin and forced him to look at him, a drop of blood ran from Mello’s nose. Light licked it away, Mello caught his mouth and kissed him hard. The older one returned, grabbed a handful of blonde hair, pulled. The younger one groaned, bit down on Light's lower lip. Amber eyes met icy ones. That cunning look provoked the hell out of Light. He reached for a napkin on the table and shoved it right into Mello's mouth. This time he wasn’t going to bite him, not again. His skin was full of bite marks and scratches, it hurt and itched everywhere.

Light took the lube, coated his cock well and lowered again in front of Mello. He entered him without forewarning, a muffled groan came from the blonde. Light's hands traced over Mello's slender thighs, he lowered further until he was completely in. Mello was already breathing heavy. That damn blonde was always horny and he was damn exciting as well.

Mello could free himself from the piece of cloth in his mouth; his lips longed for Light's. "Don't bite." The former brunette warned him and Mello nodded. He didn’t speak, Light cupped his cheek and finally kissed him. Light sat on his knees and wrapped his arms around Mello's waist, pulled his hips up, pounded into him, incessantly.

 

The ride was fast, rough and short like usual. Light cleaned his cock and Mello's stomach with a napkin before standing up and leaving Mello there without saying anything.

"Yagami, you asshole! Free me!" Mello yelled but Light ignored him. The blonde lay down again and stared towards the ceiling. ‘ _Idiot.’_

It didn't take him long to free from the handcuffs. He toyed a while and slipped slowly his small hands through. Mello adjusted the yukata on his body and plopped down on the couch next to Light. The older one looked surprised, what was Mello now up to?

Mello crawled on top of Light, his body found place between his legs. "You look hot with glasses, boss." He took the eyewear and put it on the coffee table, ran his fingers through the blonde dyed hair and kissed him deeply. Mello's kiss was gentle and full of affection, he wasn’t angry and that surprised Light. Their lips parted, Light looked at Mello and wiped a trace of saliva from his lip. "Can I stay here?" The blonde asked almost diffidently.

"Sure." Mello lay down and rested his head on Light's chest. He adjusted the glasses on his nose and reached for the remote, zapped through the TV channels while his fingers brushed through the blonde's hair. Mello was in the mood to cuddle that night. And that confused Light. _'What is your real face, Mello?'_

 

\---

 

Light began to notice that the blonde had a quite confusing personality. Had radical mood swings. Was either lazy or extremely active. He began to understand why he was described as dangerous individual in Near’s files. He was unpredictable, uncontrolled. But Light would tame the little punk. When he showed affection and kindness towards him the blonde reacted positively. He literally carved for attention and Light understood it was not just sex he wanted. He neared him more often than earlier, he cuddled up to him, he slept close to him at night.

 

\---

 

It was a rainy afternoon, Light was sitting on the couch and was reading some theories and conspiracies regarding the Kira case; Mello was dozing next to him. It was right after lunch and Light has called himself some warm sake. He drank a shot and observed the blonde, he looked so harmless, so peaceful. _‘Who are you, Mihael Keehl?’_ Light decided to do some researches. It wasn’t easy but this time he could finally find Mello’s name in the Croatian birth register. _Mihael Keehl, born December 13 th 1989 in Zagreb, Yugoslavia, nowadays Croatia_. He couldn’t find anything about him during the time he lived in Russia but found another trail about him when he moved back to Croatia _. Baptized September 29 th 1996 in __Međugorje, Bosnia and Herzegovina. Declared dead at August 15 th 1998 with other six children, possibly abducted and bodies never found_. Light shivered. He remembered well that child abduction was quite popular in the late 90s in Europe. He remembered that _very_ well. His father always told him he was glad they lived in Japan.

Light couldn’t find any other information about Mello, so he decided to do _other_ researches. Researches regarding the myth of Michael the Archangel. _’Why is he so attached to this figure?’_ Light had not much acquaintance with Christian religion but found quite some similarities between Kira's cause and Mello's Credo. His god punished the unfaithful and the sinners but if someone bent to him he could be merciful and forgiving. The figure who Mello claimed to be his protector was an angel, yes, but the one of war and vengeance. His name meant _Who is like God?_ quite pretentious, wasn’t it? The right hand of God, the highest of all angels, leader of the heaven’s forces. Fire was his element, wrath and revenge his power. Angel of death, angel of justice and angel of mercy and, above all, _Angel of the Lord_. He was described as beautiful but destructive. _'Are you not like that too, Mello?'_ Light's eyes shifted to the sleeping blonde.

Light's attention got caught by a compendium regarding the so-called _Book of Revelation_. He read about the so-called Messiah, the saviour, the redeemer. The human son of the Christian God died and resurrected and people are still waiting for his second venue because he would erase all evil from the world. Light’s eyebrow shifted upwards. He did not believe in Christian faith but this prophecy, this talked about _him_. He was gifted with the notebook to erase all wrong among the people. He would create a new world, like in the prophecy. _'If Mello would join the cause of Kira, if he would join the cult of Kira...'_ He could fool him into it, trick him into it. If Mello was blindly devoted to a god that didn’t exist, why would he not battle for a real one and who was fighting for the same values? If committed, Mello seemed to be completely loyal to the person he loved or to the god he adored. Light wanted him, he wanted his blind devotion, he wanted his loyalty, everything.

 

\---

 

No, Light didn’t know that Mello had sleep disorders. He didn’t become aware when the blonde slipped from their bed at nights. Light had a regular sleep and as long as Mello didn’t make any noise he couldn’t hear him. Light didn’t know how many tears ran from Mello's blue eyes while he glanced up to the sky. He didn’t know how many prayers he sent to his lost beloved. Mello still felt sharp pain in his heart, a piece of his soul torn apart. He knew it would never fade away. Like the scar on his body, _this_ scar would never heal.

Light never became aware when Mello snooped through his belongings. When he hacked into his laptop and found the file Light was writing about him. When he browsed through his mobile phone and found some strange codes. When he found his and Matt's fake passports. When he was pretending to be asleep while Light sneaked out of the room and talked to someone in secrecy. When he found something he wasn’t supposed to find. But Mello said nothing and waited patiently.

 

\---

 

Mello was lying on the couch and writing poems on random pieces of paper. Light was next to him, watched TV, his fingers traced softly over the blonde’s feet.

<...both Russian ice skaters are going to spend some weeks in California to relax after the competition...> Light fixed the glasses on his nose and looked closer to the screen. The younger sportsman looked a lot like Mello. Blonde hair, fair eyes, feminine facial features, gracious way to move. Mello was not one to go unnoticed so they had to remain hidden but if there were two of them in the same city? <We leave Tokyo tomorrow and spend some days in LA.> the older one said, Light recognized a hard Russian accent. That was it. If they followed their steps they could leave Japan without getting unwanted attention. They had to take that damn flight. Light took his laptop and checked the flight schedules from Tokyo to Los Angeles.

Light called for Mello and showed him some pictures he has searched on the search engine. "Look at this guy." The blonde raised an eyebrow. "You both look the same."

"What the fuck, Yagami! He looks like fucking fifteen!"

"How old do you think you look like when you don’t dress up like a whore?"

Mello rolled his eyes and took a better look at the photos while sucking a piece of chocolate. So that was the guy he got mistaken for at the store last week, when that freak girl asked him an autograph. "Who's this one?" He pointed to a silver-haired attractive guy on a picture next to the blonde athlete. It was the same man Light has seen on TV right before.

"It's his coach. They're quite famous, you don't know them?"

Mello ignored Light's question and took the laptop from his hands. "Oh my fucking goodness!" Mello made the cross sign to make up for his swearing. "He's a sexgod!" Light palmed his forehead. Now he had to deal with a fangirl as well? As Mello wasn’t exasperating enough already. "Can you dye your hair like this? Please? So I can imagine it's him while you fuck me." He bit off a piece of chocolate and smirked.

"I'm not going to do anything to my hair anymore." Light closed the laptop. He could deal with being blonde but silver? No way.

"Fine then keep your Justin Bieber hair, you prick." Mello formed a ball with the chocolate wrapping and threw it at Light. "Why did you show me the blonde guy? Am I not enough?" Light wondered if Mello was jealous.

Light explained his plan to Mello, the blonde listened closely. So they were supposed to go back to California. He didn’t know how to feel about, a part of him wanted to go home but a part of him was afraid to deal with the hard reality. How would he react to see his empty flat, without Matt in there playing videogames? To sleep in their bed without him, to walk on the beach without him. _'But I just want to go home. You'll be with me, right Matt?'_

Light blinked and waited for a reaction from Mello's side. Yes, it was time to go back home. But it was also time to reveal his cards. There was a price for everything.

"I'm not going anywhere with you." He snarled at Light.

"Excuse me?"

"Not as long as you don’t trust me."

"Mello, what are you talking about? I do trust you." Light tried to be as believable as possible and gave him a gentle smile.

"You do not."

Mello's eyes were cold and Light understood that something was wrong. He knew something but what?

"You don’t trust me. You've been hiding a lot of things from me. Why do you have a secret file about me? Why do you have Matt's passport?"

_'Oh fuck...'_ Light reached for Mello's hands and wanted to calm him down.

"Why do you sneak out of the room to talk to someone?”

“Mello, I can explain-“

“And for God's sake, why do you have the notebooks?"

Light froze. Mello, that little rat, he found everything. _‘How the fuck did he do?’_ What should he do now? He could come up with a foul excuse, that he was still working for Kira and that Kira needed him to take care about all this. Light glanced in Mello's frostbitten eyes. If he said something wrong it would end in a violent fight. _'Think, think fast. Dammit!'_ Light studied Mello closer. Over the days he has become aware that Mello was not evil but he could be _very_ dangerous when provoked or when he felt backed against the wall. What should he do? Could he really trust Mello, were they really that close?

There was only one way to find out and it was to go all in. _‘Life is a gamble, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. But I still have both notebooks._ ’ Light stepped close to Mello, cupped his chin and kissed him dearly. Mello wanted to rebel but in the end he melted into the soft kiss.

"Mello..." Light caressed his scarred cheek, Mello glanced up to him, his blue eyes full of hope. "I am Kira."

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point I think I should give credit to Harakiri For The Sky because of the massive creativity boost I get from their music. Since the new L.P. Arson is out I'm obsessed and listening it front and back allll the time. I think my vinyl player is going to break soon. If anyone is into (post) black metal I recommend to give it a try. 
> 
> Anyways the Russian ice skaters are an obvious reference to YOI. I didn't name them because I think Yurio was like 5 years old in 2010. 
> 
> Artwork by me as usual. I'm so proud of me I even drew a background.  
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Mello char sheet  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/14338509/chapters/33091125


	11. Rituals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our fallen angel vexed  
> Was banished from the sky  
> Recite now from the text  
> Pray for ALL to die
> 
> This chapel of ritual  
> Smells of dead human sacrifices  
> From the altar...
> 
> [Ghost - Ritual]
> 
>  
> 
> Mello and Light having the Kira ritual in their very own way. Mello's dark side is finally shining through someway.  
> And some plot!

* * *

 

 

**November 29 th, SPK headquarters, NYC**

 

“Near.”

“Mello.”

The blonde took out a bar of chocolate, unwrapped it and bit off a piece. “Which of us is gonna reach Kira first I wonder.”

The albino couldn’t see his face but he felt the other boy’s malicious grin. “The race is on.” His finger twisted a strand of white hair.

“We’re both headed towards the same destination. I’ll be waiting for you.”

“Ah, right.” The albino was not impressed, he was sure _he_ was the one who was going to win.

The blonde walked out the huge room leaving several confused agents behind. Well, now he got what he wanted and paid his debt. His methods might be questionable but he didn’t like to play dirty. He was no cheater.

 

 

 

**February 8 th, Sendai, Japan**

 

"I am Kira."

Mello stared at Light and didn't say anything for a couple of minutes. Light was waiting for a response, for a reaction and he was getting nervous by Mello’s silence. He couldn’t believe how brainless he has been, he should have known it better to not completely trust Mello. They were, after all, still on opposite sides.

Mello felt it, he felt the thrill of victory, he wanted to laugh loud but kept his cool facade, his face remained deadpan. He had always suspected that Light was Kira, and has been sure about it from the first moment he saw him. Mello relied on his intuition and it revealed correct in most of the cases. But intuition was something abstract and he needed evidences to prove his suspects. And there was something better than evidence; it was a confession.

He found Kira. He beat Near and L. He was the best. Through Kira he had all the power he wanted in his hands, so in the end, _he_ won. He won in both senses, he found Kira first and he had Kira on his side to eliminate his competition. Mello always knew that their _wannabe friends_ with _real benefits_ affair was getting him something but he would never have imagined a confession from Light Yagami himself.

While on one hand the former Mafioso was pleased about how things turned out for him, on the other he was deeply offended and hurt that Light had lied to him. So much to his speech about relying on him and that he was truly interested in their friendship. Mello didn’t like it when people underestimated him just because he had a pretty face or because, in this case, he was vulnerable due to Matt's death. Light has used him, as Mello did with him. They would never be friends for real. Mello's pride was a hungry beast that was consuming him from deep inside to fuel his ravenous wrath, he already felt the fire in his chest lighting up. He was no tool, to nobody.

"Fuck you and fuck your mother, you motherfucking son of a fucking whore! I’m going to break your legs!" Mello yelled at Light and gave him a strong shove.

"Mel-" The former brunette tried to defend himself but Mello grabbed him by his collar and smashed him brutally against the wall. It was a hard impact and Light felt all the air leaving his lungs. _'Damn, where did he get all this strength?'_

"Jebi se pitcka! Ko te jebe glupane! Kurvin sine! Jedi govna, pusi kurac! Nabijem te na kurac! Ubi cu te, pa te mrtvog jebat! Jebo majku svoju u ćaćinom grobu! Kurva!"[1] Mello shoot a ton of insults in his native language. Light was glad he did not understand one single word.

"You already knew I was working for Kira, Mello. Why are you so upset now?" Light remained calm, if the situation was going to escalate, there would be a disaster. He could talk himself out of this mess.

"You lied to me, you asshole!" Mello punched hard in Light’s face, he felt his left cheek in pain. "You told me to trust you but it was not mutual. You fucked me and knew exactly how much you remind me at Matt. It was no coincidence! Nothing was!"

Mello tried to hit Light once more but he caught Mello's hands and tugged him close. "Mello, it was not my intent to sleep with you to get you weak!” Light tried to calm him down. “Now that I know you better, I truly care for you. I just had to be sure if I could trust you or not, try to understand." It was not a proper lie, Light was actually caring for Mello, felt compassion for him, sorry for his loss. He liked him in some way even if the kid could be annoying.

"It was all a lie, wasn’t it, Yagami? Like when you omitted the detail that I kissed you the night when I was totally wasted. Why didn’t you tell me?"

_‘Dammit.’_ Light brushed the bangs out of his face, Mello should see his eyes clearly. "Honestly... I was embarrassed. I was relieved that you didn't remember anything because I wouldn’t have known how to deal with it. I wasn’t ready." He cupped Mello's cheek. "I still don’t know how to deal with it. All I know is that I want you."

“You fucking prick.” Mello rolled his eyes and hit Light's hand away. "What about your father? Do you consider me responsible for his death? What about Sayu?"

"I've already forgiven you for Sayu's kidnapping." Light shook his head, he still repented to not have killed his sister before Mello and his Mafia fellows could do more mischief. "The only person responsible for my father's death is himself." Something sparked in Light's eyes. "I told him to write your name in the notebook but he didn’t. I even begged him while he was dying but he was weak so he had to pay for his mistake." It was a matter of time; Light had to kill him anyways because of the thirteen day rule. Mello swallowed hardly, was Light truly such a cold, calculating person? Yes, he was. He was Kira after all. Soichiro disobeyed and had to die. "You caused me so much trouble, Mello. I've been looking for you for so long. I wanted to kill you. But here we are now and I changed my mind about you. You're not just the reckless Mafioso as described by everyone. You're so much more."

"Like?" Mello crossed his arms. "Your fucktoy?"

"No, Mello. You’re trustworthy ally, a friend."

"Pff." Mello shook his head and looked away. _‘What an idiot.’_

Light cupped his chin and turned Mello’s face to him again. “If I wouldn’t trust you, I could simply write your name in the notebook.”

“You're only using me to get Near's name.” Mello huffed.

"No. I could force you to do so but I chose to do not."

"Prove me wrong."

Light looked at the floor and licked over his dry lips. “Okay.” He nodded and glanced in Mello’s ice blue eyes again. It made him almost shiver how freezing his gaze could be. “Ask me what you want, I’m going to tell you all the truth.”

“Whom were you talking to while I was sleeping?”

“You mean while you pretended to be asleep. So much to lies, Mello?” Light snarled at the younger one. Mello was the rat who rummaged among his things, not he. Light barely kept his anger under control but it was not the right time. Now he had to persuade Mello, he had to seduce his mind.

“I just want to remind you that _I’m_ still _your_ captive so sorry if _I_ need to be reassured.”

“I was talking to a shinigami.”

Mello heard an evil laughter behind his back, turned but couldn’t see anybody. He shivered; it was the same laughter L used to describe B’s infamous _shinigami laughter_. “To Sidoh?” _‘That fucking chocolate devouring ugly blockhead?’_ He smelt it, again. Dust and sulphur and something else. Mello made the cross sign.

Light shook his head. “No. To Ryuk.” A tall, slender figure appeared behind Light. Extraordinary huge, round yellowish eyes with red pupils stared at him, a mouth full of sharp and pointed teeth grinned. It was clad in black tight clothes, huge wings made of black feathers flapped until the shinigami landed on the ground next to Light.

Mello’s eyes widened not of fear but of surprise. _‘I’ve seen him before.’_ “God, are you ugly!” He pointed his finger at the shinigami who giggled and put his pointed tongue out, licked over his cruel blue smile. Mello’s right hand clenched around the cross of his rosary. _‘Archangel, protect me.’_

_‘So he can see him. It’s true he has found the notebooks.’_ Light noticed, swallowing anger and pride. _‘Mello you little asshole, you’ll pay for this insolence.’_

“Hey, no need to offend.” Ryuk fluttered through the room.

Mello ignored the shinigami. “Was _this thing_ in my room that night?” Light nodded. “So it was not just my dreams...”

“I think you were able to sense him because you’re so receptive.” Light tried to caress Mello’s cheek but the blonde hit his hand away, again. Damn, why was he so stubborn?

“You told me I was hallucinating!”

“Mello, listen.” Light stepped closer and put his hands on Mello’s shoulders. The blonde wanted to move away but Light held him close. “I’m sorry that I had to lie to you... really. Please forgive me, let’s... let’s just start over, okay? There will be no more lies, I promise.”

"What about all the things I've done against you? Against Kira?" The blonde raised an eyebrow, he didn’t believe him.

"I've already forgiven you everything." Light cupped Mello’s chin and pressed his lips on his. “Please, Mello...” He whispered and kissed the blonde deeply. “...believe me.” Mello wrapped his arms around Light’s neck and pulled him closer, kissed him even deeper. Was it really so easy to manipulate him?

“Prove that you trust me.” Mello brushed his nose against Light’s. “I want a token of your trust.”

_‘Well, if that’s not the request of a princess.’_ Light emptied his travel bag on the ground and removed the base reinforcement. He ripped the synthetic fabric apart and took out the two notebooks that were wrapped in black plastic bags.

In the meantime Mello shot angry looks at the shinigami. “What is your name, pretty boy? Mine is Ryuk.” The shinigami fluttered through the room and sneered.

Mello’s right hand reached again for the rosary. “And he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many.” Mello murmured in a low voice tone, not even Ryuk could hear him. _‘Your name is not Ryuk. You can’t hide from me, Satan!’_

“Mello.” Light came back and knelt in front of the blonde, holding both notebooks in his hands. “Join me in the battle against darkness, in the war of justice against all evil and corrupted. I am salvation, I am judgement. Like God has his Archangel, I want you to be my right hand. I want you to be my wrath, my witness, my vengeance. Join me Mello, join the cause of love and light. I want to create a new world and you by my side.” Light took Mello’s right hand and held it tightly. It felt like he was going to make a marriage proposal. “Like in the prophecy, there will be a Messiah and he will redeem the world from all evil. I am that Messiah. And as God has his angels in heaven, I need mine on earth.”

_Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves._

Mello recalled a verse from the Bible. _‘No, you’re no Messiah. You’re a servant of evil, escorted by a demon. You’re just a tool for me to become number one.’_

“Be my archangel, Mihael.” Light put one notebook in Mello’s right hand. The blonde’s eyes widened in surprise. What was he doing? Was he really offering one of the notebooks to him?

_For false christs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect._

_‘You are temptation. But Saint Michael will give me strength. I’ll not accept it, I will not get corrupted by the power of evil.’_ Mello didn’t need the notebooks if he had Kira. He didn’t need to soil his own hands anymore.

“This is not what I meant.” Mello shook his head and shoved the notebook back in Light’s hands.

“What then?” Light didn’t understand that Mello wanted _something_ else.

“A symbolic pledge. I want you to trust me completely. I want you to give yourself to me.” Light frowned and stood up. “I want to fuck _you_.”

"What?" Light's eyes widened in shock, he couldn’t believe what Mello wanted from him. Ryuk was lying on the bed and laughed scornfully.

"You heard well, Yagami. There are so many things you have to tell me but first..." The blonde stepped closer, licked the tip of Light's nose. He could be such a tempting little demon. "I want you to submit to me. I'm going to tie you up and you'll be at my mercy." The blonde purred in his ear.

_'Dammit!'_ Mello's request was insane, but on the other side all he wanted was a fuck. Light just needed to put his pride aside and pretend to trust Mello so he got what he wanted. _'Like a cheap whore.'_ But Mello would pay for this, sooner or later. Light looked in Mello's eyes and nodded. “Okay. I trust you.”

“Good. Call us a bottle of vodka.” The blonde pointed at the shinigami. "And you! Disappear." Ryuk stared in Mello's icy eyes, so _he_ was the scary human Sidoh told him about. He was right, there was something sinister in him. Light threw an apple at Ryuk and he left their room, probably he was going to spy on other guests and annoy them by misplacing their things.

 

\---

 

Mello was surprised as he tasted the powder he received last week from Zhandos, he recognized the bitter taste of barely uncut cocaine. Where in hell did he get it, he and Matt only found poorly cut drugs in Japan.

“When the Messiah had his last meal, he offered a piece of bread and a cup of wine to his followers.” Mello cut the greasy powder with a credit card and formed two thin lines. “Still nowadays during the Mass the faithfuls connect to their saviour performing this very same ritual.” Mello explained and filled two shot glasses with vodka.

“Okay?” Light raised an eyebrow and didn’t understand what cocaine and vodka had to do with the Christian communion. But Mello was an eccentric guy, he shouldn’t wonder. He was performing his own ritual, _their_ ritual.

The blonde offered a shot glass to Light. “To Kira.” They slammed their glasses together and Mello emptied his, Light followed him. Mello snuffed a line with a rolled bill, then he observed Light doing the same. _‘You don’t know, Light, that Jesus Christ has been betrayed. But I’m no Judas, luckily for you.’_ Mello filled the shots once more.

“To you as my ally, Mello. _To us_.” Light threw in and both boys swallowed the whole content once more. Light coughed a little, Mello instead looked as if he had just drunk water. How was he able to drink so much of this stuff, it was so strong.

“Now, get undressed.”

 

 

"Mello, I feel uncomfortable." Light was lying naked on the bed, wrists handcuffed to the headboard, eyes blindfolded with a silk tie.

Mello was sitting naked in front of the coffee table, he completely ignored Light and finished to roll a joint. He lit it up and took a deep drag, he loved the feel of weed and tobacco scratching his throat. He pulled another couple of times and drank a shot of vodka before placing the joint on the ashtray so it would extinguish itself. He made the cross sign and kissed his rosary.

Light felt Mello's fingers on his cock, closed around him, stroked him. Light was extremely vulnerable in this situation but he reacted immediately to Mello's touch, he hardened in no time. Light felt Mello's tongue on his balls, licking slowly all the way up to his head, played a little with his tiny hole before taking him in. Light perceived everything expanded, he felt Mello's warm mouth hotter, his tongue softer, his teeth sharper, his piercing harder.

The blonde coated his fingers with lube and traced over Light's puckered hole. The older one winced, it felt totally new but also weird and depraved.

"Mello, I've never..." Light swallowed, he was getting nervous. What has he gotten himself into? He was already repenting for his choice.

"By yourself?" Light shook his head. "I'll be gentle." Mello entered his fingertip in Light's ass but he cried out. _'Such a drama queen. It's just a fucking finger.'_ The blonde sank his digit deeper into him.

Light felt an unkind and uncomfortable sensation, he didn’t like this new experience at all. True, Mello was gentle and he has coated his fingers with tons of lube but it felt weird anyways. He was never going to like something like _this_. It was disgusting and degrading.

"I'm going in with a second one, okay?" Light nodded but he didn’t want to, he wanted to be free and turn the blonde on all fours and fuck the light out of his eyes. But no, he had to comply Mello's perverse request, at least this time. He would pay for that, too.

As Mello was putting his second finger in, Light cried out loud. It burned and hurt as fucking hell, he couldn’t make it. The blonde was a wicked freak, Light was sure he was going to fuck him anyways. He decided to adopt a women’s method to get out of an unkind situation, and that precise method was _snivelling_.

"Mello, it hurts, I can't take no more."

"Come on, Light, it's just two fucking fingers. I have to stretch you." The blonde thrust his hand forth and back, Light cried out again, goose bumps covered his skin. "I just want to remind you that I had four of your fingers in my ass, once."

"Yeah but..." Light sighed, he hated it to be so weak. If two fingers hurt so much, how was he supposed to endure Mello’s dick, it wasn’t properly the smallest. "Damn, Mello it hurts!" Light's cock was softening. Mello withdrew his fingers and decided to modify his demand for that night. The blonde was many things, but he was no rapist. He had been taken advantage of in past, it was something he didn’t want anyone to experience, not even Near.

"You're a fucking pussy." Mello lifted Light's hips and kissed his ass. Light felt something warm around his hole, a smooth tongue playing gently with his entrance, the hard metal stud stimulating him even more. Mello was kissing, licking, sucking him, then his tongue entered his ass and fucked him. It felt strange too but it didn't feel properly _bad_. It actually felt even good, was the feeling of Mello's tongue in his most intimate part really arousing him so much? Light was glad Mello didn't see him because he was sure that his face was red of shame.

Mello sucked and licked his ass, Light's cock has hardened again and the blonde's tongue traced slowly his whole length before sucking him completely in. Light came almost immediately, released into Mello's ravenous mouth. The blonde swallowed his full load, licked all traces of sperm from his cock.

Mello blew up his plan to fuck Light but it didn't matter, fortunately he was good at improvising. He would fuck Light in a way or another. The blonde squeezed some lube on Light's cock and sat down on him, as soon as Light was completely in, he began to ride him hard.

Light felt the blonde around him, his tight warm insides squeezing around his cock, but damn he wanted to see him, he wanted to watch Mello while he took his delight on top of him. "I want to look at you." Light begged.

"Nope." Mello continued to ride him, threw his head back, fisted his own hair. He was feeling it, damn he felt Light's cock pressing against the right spot, he was literally fucking himself to a mind-blowing orgasm. He closed his eyes, his thrusts became faster, the skin between them began to ache, the fire in his loins burned high.

Light heard soft moans becoming louder, movements increasing their intensity; Mello was getting close to his peak. "I want to see you while you come."

"I want to cum on your face." The blonde groaned loud.

"Don't you dare!"

"I do." Mello raised his body and knelt in front of Light's face, thrust two times into his hand and released on Light's mouth. Light was aware to keep his lips sealed but Mello lowered and pressed them together, his tongue intruded the other's mouth and shoved some sperm in. Mello kissed him, forbid him to spit his cum, forced him to drink him. Light savoured Mello's release, it was viscid, warm and salty, it didn’t taste really good. It wasn’t even tasting that bad after all, it was like it was a concentrate of Mello's hormones and damn, was it even arousing him? What the hell was the blonde doing to him, he was turning him into something he never wanted to be.

 

Mello broke their kiss and left the bed. He sat at the table and formed another thin line of cocaine.

"Mello, what are you doing? Free me, you little shit!"

The blonde snorted the line, his wet finger collected all the traces of coke on the table to rub it on his gums. That stuff was way too good to waste. He drank another shot of vodka and filled the glass once more.

"I'm not done with you." Light didn’t feel reassured at all. "Open your mouth." Light felt Mello next to him. Damn now he was forced to suck him? Mello dropped some vodka in Light’s mouth like as if to wash his cum away. He was glad to notice that Light's dick was still hard. Mello sat on him again but this time he took the blindfold from his eyes. He cupped Light's cheek and kissed him. "Light this is not a game of angst, this is a game of trust. But still, a game." Mello smirked like a little demon and impaled himself on Light's hard shaft. He put the tie around Light's neck, made a knot, pulled, fucked him madly.

"I want to touch you."

Mello's hips rolled up and down, his fingers touched Light's chest, nails scratched deeply leaving burning red marks on his skin. Light wanted to grab those prominent hipbones, squeeze them hard, he wanted to grab Mello's ass, slap it, he wanted to pull his blonde hair, he wanted to make him come again.

"Come on Mello, free me. I need to touch you."

Mello pulled at the tie and the knot tightened. Light felt how breathing became more difficult to him. It was indeed a game of trust, if Mello would tug a little more he would strangle him.

Mello lowered and kissed him while undoing the handcuffs. Light's hands could finally touch Mello's burning body, run his fingers through the long blonde hair, cupped the back of his head, kissed him deeper. His other hand ran over Mello’s spine, slowly, until it finally arrived to his ass, buried his fingernails in it, then his fingers traced softly over his slender thigh. It was predictable that Light shifted their positions but Mello didn't care, he got what he wanted after all. And he would get more soon enough.

Light kissed Mello's foot, licked his sole, sucked at his toes before throwing his leg over his shoulder. "I want to make you come like you did before." He lowered and kissed Mello, the blonde returned, sucked his tongue, nipped at his lips. He patiently directed Light's movement until he was hitting the right spot. The blonde moaned softly, Light clashed their hands together, clenched his fingers tightly around his.

"Faster." Mello commanded and Light increased his rhythm. "Harder!"

"Faster or harder? Mello damn I can't keep up with your pace!"

"Harder." Mello groaned and Light obliged. He kept on slamming into him in the same rhythm while Mello moaned and said something like _don’t fucking stop_ and _fuck me harder you bitch_ and random words in his native language.

Mello closed his eyes, he felt the shockwave coming. His right hand closed around the rosary, tightened. _'Holy Mother, forgive me, because I sin...'_ The second orgasm hit him like a blast, he spilled onto his own stomach. Light continued to mount him but Mello had to interrupt.

"W-wait, Light..." Mello tried to regain his breath. Light thrust slowly into him, the younger was over-stimulated. "I can't take any more..."

"Come on, princess, I'm close."

"No, really... I can't... Give me a moment..."

Light withdrew his cock and _a moment_ later Mello's mouth was on him. Light pulled his long hair, it was hideously fascinating how much power Mello had over him when he was sucking him. Light felt weak in moments like this, he would never tell him though. Kira couldn’t be corruptible just because the blonde gave him mindfucking blowjobs.

Light came, Mello swallowed all his cum, their ritual was completed. The blonde kissed him deeply, Light didn’t mind the taste of himself anymore.

 

"Dammit Mello, you're just..." Light sighed and pulled him in for another kiss. "Join for a shower?"

Mello shook his head. “Maybe later. Might smoke one."

Light walked into the bathroom. As soon as Mello was alone, he left the bed and walked towards the mini-bar. He picked out a tumbler glass and filled it with vodka, lit up the half leftover joint and took a deep drag. He emptied half of the glass and walked around the room, summing a melody from a song he had in mind. Mello stopped where the full-body sized mirror was hanging on the wall, which he previously had covered with a blanket. Light thought it was because light reflection bothered Mello while he was sleeping but that was not the reason, he didn’t have to know anyways. Mello exposed the mirror and looked at his naked reflection, barely illuminated by dim red light. He didn’t look bad after all, the scar wasn’t much visible now. But fuck, he had dropped quite some weight since the explosion. He had to gain some kilos once more or he would really become too thin. Matt would scold him because alcohol was not properly helping.

"Fallen angel..." He barely whispered, recalling how Matt called him and took a deep pull from the joint. His fingertip touched the reflection in the mirror, right above his scar. It hurt, again. Mello closed his eyes and took a huge breath in. And there he smelled it, the stench of dust and sulphur… and death.

"Or a devil in disguise." A voice behind him giggled, a dark figure appeared from the ceiling and looked down towards him. Mello remained unimpressed and shot a glance full of disgust through the mirror to the shinigami.

The blonde crossed himself and turned towards the shinigami, holding the rosary firmly between his fingers. "Go away, Satan! For it is written: Worship the Lord your God, and serve only him." He hissed and emptied the glass.

"I know what you are trying to do, little tempting." Ryuk laughed and made a backflip, his face was close to Mello's now. Eyes shining bright like fullmoons glanced into the boy’s dull ones, but the shinigami could not sense fear into the blonde, only wrath and danger. He wondered if Light has framed him the wrong way. Mello didn’t seem that _fragile_ , after all. "I'm not going to stop you, you promise a lot of trouble…” The shinigami turned upside down, his eyes still glancing into Mello’s. “And a lot of fun." Ryuk laughed like crazy but Mello's face remained deadpan, his ice cold eyes unreadable even for the shinigami.

Mello extinguished the joint in the ashtray and filled the glass once more. "Out of my sight, now!" The blonde barked and shot a threatening glance at the shinigami. Ryuk did as Mello required without saying much.

Fuck, now he had even to deal with the constant presence of that evil being. Mello threw the blanket over the mirror and drank the whole glass in one sip, he felt a little dizzy already. The blonde dashed on the bed and stared towards the ceiling. He let go a deep sigh, was it so wrong what he was doing? He turned sideways and closed his eyes. _‘Father forgive your unworthy son, Mother take care of my soul because my body is weak.’_ A tear rolled from his eye. _‘Matt, stand by me, my love.’_

Mello was lying still as Light came back. He crawled on the bed and lay down next to him, covered them both with the duvet. He shifted his body closer, wrapped his arm around Mello’s waist, inhaled his alluring scent, kissed his shoulder. "Mello?" No answer came.

 

\---

 

Light woke up, soft sunlight was shining through the curtains. Mello was still sleeping next to him in prone position. Light noticed that the blonde mostly slept that way and his arm always hugged a pillow, or him, or a piece of blanket. Light rolled on his side, his fingers played with a strand of blonde hair. What was he doing? What was he thinking, feeling? It was all so wrong. _‘If I wouldn’t be Kira, if we wouldn’t be enemies... If you wouldn’t be a criminal weirdo.’_ If everything was different, Light would really like him, without hesitation.

Mello’s eyes blinked, his body moved slightly. Light brushed the hair out of his face and met one fair eye, the other still hidden in the pillow. “Good morning, princess.”

“Mmmh.” Mello groaned and buried his whole face in the pillow.

“Found some sleep?”

Mello nodded into the pillow, then he turned his face to Light. “Totally.”

Light continued to caress tenderly his hair and the skin of his neck. It seemed that he wanted to say something but kept it to himself. Their eyes met and Light smiled vaguely.

“What?” Mello asked but Light shook his head. “Tell me.”

Light’s fingertip traced softly over Mello’s eyebrow. “I’ve never seen eyes like yours.”

“What do you mean?”

“The colour, the expression... everything. They have the same shade of ice but if I look closer, I can see a deep ocean behind the thick layer of frost.”

Mello’s heart skipped for a second. _Your heart is an ocean_ , Matt once told him. The blonde turned sideways and faked an amused smile. “I don’t fall for cheesy lines like this.” He hit Light’s shoulder.

“I’m serious.” Light shifted his body closer to Mello, the blonde rolled on his back and Light on top of him. He brushed a blonde strand of long hair from his face. “You’re beautiful, because your heart is gentle.”

Mello didn’t know what exactly made him weak but he pulled Light’s head down and kissed him. _‘If things could be different...’_ Mello sighed into Light’s mouth, deepened their kiss. But things were not different. Light was Kira, and he was responsible for all what happened. _‘You caused so much suffering...’_ His hands cupped Light’s face, didn’t let him go. _‘You don’t know how much pain you’ve caused... but sooner or later you’ll pay for this. Judgement’s Day comes for all of us.’_

 

Their kiss lasted quite a while but did not turn into a hungry or demanding one. It was just a kiss, full of affection and tenderness for both of them.

“Don’t tell me you want to fuck again.” Light murmured between their kisses.

“Nah.” Mello giggled and shook his head. “My ass is a bit sore. I need at least half a day off.”

Light raised an eyebrow, he was surprised but relieved because his cock hurt _too_. “You survive?”

“Don’t know.” Mello smirked. “If not, you can suck me off.”

“Ah, Mello, dammit.” Light sat up and laughed. “You ruined a perfect moment.” Mello sat up as well and leaned his head on Light’s shoulder, it seemed like he was in a cuddly mood today. “Shall I call us breakfast?”

Mello nodded. “I take a shower, then.”

 

\---

 

Mello laid on top of Light, his body found place between his legs, he rested his chin on Light’s chest and observed the older one. Light’s amber eyes found Mello’s fair one, they shined so bright.

“You don’t...” Light brushed Mello’s damp bangs from his face. “Want to fuck now, right?”

“Nope, I’m lazy.” The blonde’s mouth caught Light’s finger and sucked at it. “Wanna blow me?” Light rolled his eyes and shook his head. Mello reached for Light’s glasses and put them on his nose. “You’re so hot like this, you know? I want you to fuck me once while wearing suit and glasses.”

“Mello, you’re insufferable.”

The blonde giggled and laid his head on Light’s chest. Light’s fingertips traced softly the back of his neck, Mello purred in response. It seemed like the blonde enjoyed it to be touched there, _a lot_. “Don’t stop.” He murmured while his arms wrapped around Light’s waist. “Talking about serious things... what are the plans now?”

“We leave early tomorrow for Tokyo. Our flight goes at 3PM.”

“And what do you plan to do once we’re in LA?”

“Well, for now to put the whole Kira case on hold. I want that Near, the SPK and the Task Force think they’re done with Kira and Light Yagami. And then, when they deem they’re safe... then I, _we_ will strike. And eliminate them slowly, one after one, leaving them in terror and despair.” Light closed his hand to a fist, it was not just about Near anymore, he didn’t want him to die already. He wanted to make him pay for his affront, he wanted him to suffer like a dog and Mello would be the tool of his vengeance. They wanted the same, after all. “Revenge is a dish best served cold.”

“Mh.” Mello huffed, was there disagreement in his tone? “I think the contrary. Revenge is an emotion, it must be ridden while it burns. But it’s your plan, boss.”

“Tell me what you would do.” Light wanted him as his ally for a reason and Mello had the talent to be unpredictable, this had to be used to their advantage.

“First, the whole Kira question is on hold since almost two weeks.” Mello raised his head to face Light and rested his chin on the other man’s chest. “And second, I don’t think we should wait further. I think it would confuse them more if we move now, so they don’t have time to figure out what’s going on.”

“How?”

“By telling the truth.” Mello said dryly.

“Excuse me?” Light’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“You play poker?”

“A little but-“

“Listen, if you play cards, okay...” Mello interrupted him. “Or whatever the game is, if you’re a cheater you’ll believe anyone else might be a cheater too.”

“Okay.”

“So you’ll be more focused on how the other one might cheat instead on how he would play. If your opponent is going to play fair, he’ll take you unprepared. So, in this case, Near is the cheater and we are the fair player.”

“Yeah but...” Light frowned. “Are you suggesting calling Near and telling him we’re still alive and that we have the notebooks?”

“Not Near. Lidner.” Mello chuckled. “Let’s put it that way... She and I have been very close in past. She was my informant in the SPK, she even cared for me. She will believe anything I’m going to tell her.”

“I see.” Light didn’t really follow Mello’s plan.

“Listen, I didn’t say to expose _all_ the cards. I’ll contact her and tell her I’ve been kidnapped by Kira and that they’re looking for the notebooks and Yagami.” Mello’s eyes sparked while he explained all the details of his twisted plan. It was absolutely illogical but it was brilliant. It was going to throw anyone in confusion and while they were drowning in chaos, Light and Mello could operate undisturbed from the underground.

“Well, Mello. Seems like you surprise me.”

“You saved me for a reason, after all.”

"That's true." Light's fingertips traced softly over Mello's lips, the blonde kissed his fingers. Light studied him, he looked so innocently, so candid, but he knew well that Mello’s angelic face was deceiving. _'My father couldn’t kill you for a reason... now I know why...'_ Light pulled the blonde in for a deep kiss.

"Do you know what makes me horny?" Mello whispered in his mouth, nibbled at his lips.

“Uhm... booze?”

“Mhm.” Mello nibbled along Light’s jaw line. “And?”

Light’s hands squeezed his buttocks. “Coke?”

“That too.” Mello whispered in his ear while licking its shell. "Plotting against Near makes me fucking horny."

Mello kissed Light's whole core downwards, he licked his nipples, teeth pinched his hipbones and when his lips closed around Light's cock, he was already hard.

 

* * *

 

 

 

[1] “Go fuck yourself cunt! Who fucked you so stupid? Son of a bitch! Eat shit, suck dick! I stick you on my dick! I'll kill you and fuck your dead body! I fuck your mother on your father's grave! Whore!" (a bit of Balkan swearing)

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wtf is all this fluff? it gets a little crazier in the next ones, I promise  
> I hope to update regularly in future because concert/festival season has begun and with it also season of outdoor sports
> 
> artwork by meee (JK иконоборец)  
> Light and Mello were supposed to be dressed on this drawing because it was meant to be the cover pic for the story but somehow they managed to get rid of their clothes. It was a damn tricky pose to draw and I worked on it for four days, still not fully satisfied but I put a lot of effort in it.
> 
> (The line [your] my heart is an ocean is taken from HFTS - You are the scars)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	12. Travel Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mello and Light are finally leaving Japan but traveling with Mello is a thing in itself.  
> Nevertheless they're both growing closer to each other and slowly opening up about... things.
> 
> Plot and smut chapter! (a bit a longer one)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your taunted charm and your broken smile  
> Touched me unexpectedly
> 
> So long you've left and arrived  
> It's time for you to stay a while
> 
> If you chose life  
> You know what the fear is like if  
> You welcome addiction  
> This is your kingdom
> 
> [IAMX - Kingdome of welcome addiction]  
> Aesthetic Perfection remix https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBtd_sBwziI

* * *

 

 

Light stopped at the service area for a quick coffee break. It seemed like things were halfway working between him and Mello since he decided to tell him he is Kira.

“Here.” He handed Mello a large coffee-to-go through the car window, the blonde was still halfway asleep. Mello murmured something and unwrapped a chocolate protein bar, taking a bite. “You want to do it now?”

The blonde nodded and watched carefully his surroundings. “Yeah, it’s quiet here.” Light handed him his mobile phone but Mello shook his head. “Nope. I’m going to use the payphone.” He pointed to a phone booth next to the building.

“My mobile is encrypted. The SPK is going to locate the call.”

“That’s it.” Mello took another bite of protein bar and offered it to Light but the fake blonde declined. “First, they should think we’re still in Japan. Second, never be too sure about the protection of your phone.” Mello finished the treat and handed the empty wrapping to Light.

“What am I, the trash man?”

“Give me your phone.”

Light was quite confused but did as Mello requested. The blonde opened the small sachet and sprinkled some cocaine on its screen, formed a small heap and snuffed it through his nostril.

“Mello!”

“Hey, I need to focus on my task okay?” Mello sniffed and cleaned his nose, leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “Give me a minute.”

“I really hope you won’t bring drugs in the airport.”

“Keep calm, I’m not an idiot.” Mello sat in silence for a couple of minutes. “I’m ready.”

“Don’t you need a written plot or something?”

“You can’t plan everything, Yagami. Life’s about improvisation and reaction.” Light raised an eyebrow and followed the blonde towards the phone booth. He really hoped Mello won’t blow shit up.

 

Mello crossed himself and kissed his rosary, then he threw in some coins before taking a deep breath in. _‘Come on, it’s show time.’_ Mello dialled the number and waited until the other person answered.

<Hello?>

“H-Halle?” The blonde faked a frightened voice. “Halle, its Mello.”

There was a brief silence on the other line. <Mello? You’re alive?> Halle sounded happier than he thought; well, very well. <Where are you? What hap->

“They took me, Hal! They want the notebooks. I can’t anymore... please give them back.” Light was impressed by Mello’s acting skills. He truly sounded like a person in distress.

<Mello, keep calm. Who took you?>

“Kira.” Mello faked to cry, or was it real? What if it was part of Mello’s plan to get rid of Light and he was sending a signal to his former allies? “Kira took me. They want the notebooks and Yagami, but I told them I don’t know anything!”

 _‘Mello, if you’re playing both sides, I swear...’_ Light looked around if there was anybody in sight but they were unseen. He stepped closer to Mello and brushed his hair from his fair eyes.

<Did they torture you?>

“Yes.” Mello looked into Light’s amber eyes. Something about this situation triggered him.

Light caressed Mello’s scarred cheek. _‘Don’t you dare, Mello. Don’t fuck it up.’_ Something in his loins was lighting up.

<How bad?>

“I can’t take anymore, Hal... they want the notebooks, please give them back!” Mello cried out and faked a painful groan while sending Light a defiant look.

<Mello we don’t have the notebooks.>

“But who has them then?” Mello yelled desperately.

<Why do they want Yagami? Do they tell you to call me?>

“I don’t know! Yes! They want the notebooks, give them back! I did enough!”

<But we don’t have them!> Halle’s voice sounded helpless.

“Then find them! Because I did enough! Tell Near to save me! Tell him!”

<Where are you?>

“I don’t know. No!” Mello yelled, he really seemed a hostage in anguish. “Please, no!” Mello hung up, his cold eyes looked into the other ones.

Light kissed the tip of his nose. “You’ve done well, Mello.” His thumb brushed Mello’s lips, he wanted to kiss him, but the blonde shoved him aside and walked past him.

 

\---

 

Mello heard a loud noise from above as he jumped from the car, he directed his glance towards the blue sky. His eyes followed two fighter aircrafts, he shivered internally.

“What’s wrong?” Light noticed Mello’s troubled face.

“Nothing?” He remembered the constant presence of aircrafts when he lived in Russia and then in Croatia again, especially when the so-called _NATO intervention_ invaded the Balkans during the Bosnian War. It was ordinary life, ordinary terror, ordinary death. _‘Why are so many aircrafts in the sky? Please not war, not again.’_ Mello made the sign of the cross. He and Matt sometimes talked about how it was there when they were children, Matt once suggested they shall go back together one day but Mello wasn’t sure he wanted to.

Light took their travel bags from the car and closed the van. “Hey what about my gun? You can’t leave it here!”

“Mello we can’t travel with a weapon, are you insane?”

“It’s a gold plated 92FS Beretta, I’m not going to leave it here.” It was the initiation gift he got from Rod when he joined the Mafia as member in all respects. _‘And my grandmother’s cross is attached to it.’_

“We were supposed to be undercover, we can’t run through the airport with a gun.”

“Of course we can, we just have to put the gun in our checked luggage and declare it.” Light raised an eyebrow. “Give me my passport.” Light did as the blonde demanded, he took out a document from a slipcase on the back of his passport holder. “Here.”

Light read the document, there was declared that Aleksandr Vasiliev, CIA agent, is allowed to travel with his personal weapon. The document was signed by the president of the United States himself. “How did you get this? Is this a fake?”

“Nope. It’s called extortion, you know.”

Light shook his head, he didn’t want to know how Mello was able to blackmail the US president and maybe it was better that way. “Why do you call yourself Alexander Vassiliew?”

Mello snatched the document and put it back in the slipcase. “It’s spelled _Aleksandr_ , can you not read, you illiterate?”

“Couldn’t you choose a more complex name?”

“What’s your fake name? Tamagotchi?” Mello crossed his arms and looked pissed. Damn, he could be quite touchy. Light wondered if he was nervous, he didn’t properly look at ease but decided to not care. He was not in the disposition for Mello’s exasperating mood swings.

“Akeno Ryo is the one I’m currently using.”

“Ryo? Sounds like Leo.” Mello threw the travel bag over his shoulder and was about to walk towards the airport entrance.

Light followed him with a quick pace. “We should call each other Sasha and Leo in public, just in case.”

“Fine.” Mello stated dryly. Light began to wonder if Mello might be afraid to fly.

 

 

Light and Mello checked their travel bags. It was as easy as Mello has told him, they just needed to put the gun in a locked case and declare it to the security administration. “Let’s get us some coffee and food.”

Mello directed his glance towards a side corridor. “If you don’t mind boss, I’d like to pray before we leave.” He pointed towards the sign depicting the airport chapel. “And I need to use the boy’s room.”

“Mello are you nervous?”

“No, I’m not.” Mello rolled his eyes. “Can I have some money to buy a book or something to kill time?”

“Sure.” Light took out the wallet and handed Mello some bills. The blonde wasn’t still able to calculate the currency exchange between JPY and USD. Another thing he missed about Matt. He wasn’t very good with numbers, not like his beloved math genius at least, he never really liked scientific subjects. “We meet in 15 minutes.”

Mello turned and walked towards the airport chapel. “Keep an eye on him.” Light commanded to Ryuk.

“But he can see me.” The shinigami didn’t like Light’s new plaything, it made him feel uneasy.

“Well then pay attention he doesn’t!” Light hissed in a whisper. Ryuk complained about being used as babysitter but obeyed anyways, Light promised him apples during the whole journey.

 

 

The small chapel was almost empty, Mello stepped in the dark room, dipped his fingers in holy water and crossed himself, then he immersed his rosary in the sacred liquid.

Mello knelt in front of the Holy Mary statue and prayed in silence for a couple of minutes, then he left the chapel and walked towards the gent’s room. He studied his reflection in the huge mirror.

“Pff I look like a fucking emo.” Light had insisted he wore a baseball cap to keep his scar hidden beneath his long hair, which he had brushed over the left side of his face. The black parka and his dark tracksuit wasn’t making things better but well, at least the clothes were comfortable and he could wear Matt’s _Aesthetic Perfection_ band shirt underneath.

Mello locked in the toilet box and lowered the seat, he emptied the small cellophane wrapping and tried to form a line. There wasn’t much cocaine left but he couldn’t bring it through the security check and he needed to remain focused to not have a mental breakdown. No, he wasn’t properly nervous, like Light has assumed, he was just broken because he was flying back to Los Angeles without Matt. He missed him badly, and in moments like this he just wanted to hide and cry his eyes dry. Mello tried to divert his attention from Matt’s loss and to find comfort in Light but it didn’t really work. As soon as he was alone, Light didn’t exist anymore.

Mello snorted the line and sat on the ground, leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. _‘God...’_ He waited a moment until he felt how the drug was rushing through his system, how it was numbing his feelings, how it made him stronger. Mello felt something soft and warm on his cheek, then a tender kiss on his lips. He opened his eyes and met deep blue eyes, a gentle smile.

 _Be strong, moja ljubav._ Matt kissed his forehead and Mello felt a little better.

 

 

 

**December 6 th 2009, LAX airport, California**

 

Matt's skinny jeans were tugged down to his knees, both his legs thrown over the same shoulder of his stunning lover. His ass was resting on the toilet seat while the blonde shoved his cock into him.

"Matt, shut the fuck up." Mello warned him, Matt moaned way too loud for a public place. As Mello rammed into him, Matt groaned aloud again and earned a hard slap in his face.

"I'll miss you, Mells." Matt gasped and Mello muffled his noises with a kiss. "Kill me, please."

Matt didn't need to say it twice, Mello withdrew his cock and made the redhead turn and kneel on the toilet seat. He grabbed a fistful of fiery hair as he slammed his cock into Matt's ass.

Matt groaned loud, again, Mello's gloved hand lay over his mouth and muffled his noises. His other hand held Matt firmly by his hipbone, Mello's hip thrusts were fast and hard, their loins were set on fire.

Mello's teeth bit down sharply in Matt's shoulders, his hand slapped his butt, then held him firmly so he could not escape Mello's ravenous love.

Matt tried to say something but his mouth was still covered. Mello knew Matt was close, his groans became more acute when he neared his orgasm. Mello lowered the pace but increased the power of his shoves.

Matt let go a loud whimper and spilled his release on the toilet seat, making quite a mess. The blonde followed him and came into Matt’s ass. Mello took out briefly his softening cock and stroked himself to harden again, then he resumed his pleasant duty.

"Mel... fuck!"

"I'm not done with you, dog. I'm not going to see you for two weeks." Mello hissed and rammed his cock deep into Matt, the redhead cried out loud but this time the blonde did not care.

 

 

"Okay I checked in my luggage. I need to go now, boarding is soon."

"Mello, don't leave me." Matt held him back, his deep blue eyes looked so sad. "Please, don't go!" It was out of the ordinary to see the redhead so emotional, he usually was chill and relaxed towards everything.

"Matt what's wrong with you? You're overreacting."

“Every time you leave... I'm afraid it's the last time I see you.” Matt looked on the ground. “Five years ago... it was December 6th... you left me and disappeared for three years...”

"Oh, Mail..." Mello felt his heart breaking apart, he gently cupped Matt’s chin.

"You've traumatized me, Mel." A tear ran down Matt's cheek, Mello's leather clad hand wiped it gently away, brushed softly his freckled skin.

"We see in two weeks in Japan. Thought you were happy to travel there."

"Mello, promise me..." Matt traced softly over Mello's scarred cheek. "Stay away from trouble." Mello nodded and kissed Matt's hand. "Promise me!" The redhead demanded, his eyes wet and shiny.

"I promise you. I'll just do espionage stuff till you come, as agreed." Mello checked the time on his mobile. "I have to go now."

Matt embraced Mello tightly, so tight that it hurt. "I can't live without you, Miško." Mello froze at those words. "You're my family, I don't want to lose you. I can’t." The blonde leaned in his embrace, an unnoticed tear ran from his eye. Mello was afraid, too. But this time _he_ had to be the strong one or Matt would hinder him to go.

Mello cupped Matt's cheek, pressed their lips together, slipped his pierced tongue into his mouth. Matt drank his soft kisses, pulled the blonde closer, kissed him deeper.

<Now boarding American Airlines flight 5456 to Tokyo at Gate 4E.>

"Matt, I have to go." Mello leaned against Matt’s forehead.

"Okay." The redhead nodded and pressed his lips on Mello's nose.

"Te amo, loco."

"Te amo, rubio."

Mello smiled. "Learn some Spanish while I'm not here, there are other words than _tequila, sexo y marihuana_."

“Oh yeah! Maybe I can go to Tijuana over the weekend with Rio and Jo.”

“Matt, you’re supposed to ship your car and your bike to Japan, not to party with the guys.”

“Ah, Mel! You’re such a tyrant.”

The blonde pulled him in for another hug, pressed his lips a last time on Matt's mouth. "Bye, babe."

"Adios, mi amor!" Matt said overdramatically. "Call when you land."

"I will." Mello winked and walked towards the security check. Matt remained there and waited until Mello was through the metal detector and was checked. The blonde turned to him and smiled, Matt sent him an air kiss. Mello waved him goodbye and walked towards the gates.

As soon as he was out of Matt’s sight, Mello felt his heart racing fast, he saw black in front of him. Mello felt no air reaching his lungs, he felt his head spinning, no control over his own body anymore. He let himself drop on his knees and buried his face in his hands, trying to regain control over his breathing. _‘No, not again, not now.’_

"Are you okay?" He heard a female voice next to him. "Sir, are you alright?"

"Y-yeah..." Mello said with difficulty, he was panting hard. "It's just... just pressure decrease."

"Can I do something for you?" The woman asked him. “Do you want some sugar?”

"Can I have some chocolate?"

 

 

 

**February 10 th, HND airport, Japan**

 

Mello bought some chocolate bars and a vodka mignon bottle at the shop. He found a book store and decided to buy something decent to read. He glanced to the huge clock and noticed that he had another couple of minutes. In front of the bookstore stood a couple of phone booths, Mello looked around if the shinigami was in sight, just in case. He threw in some coins and dialled the number he had already locked in his mind.

“Hello?” That rough, unfriendly voice.

“Zhan? It’s Sasha.” Mello talked low, his eyes still scanning his surroundings.

“Oh, hey.” Zhandos’ voice softened immediately. “How are you doing? Hope better than last time.”

“Yeah.” Mello paused, was he really feeling better? “I’m leaving. We’re flying back to the US.”

“I see. Leo is with you?”

“Yeah. Listen, I wanted to thank you for your gift. I really enjoyed it.”

Zhandos chuckled. “Glad to hear that.”

“Listen... I need to ask you something.” ‘ _I’ve no fucking time to waste now for small talk.’_

“Go on.”

“Why did you leave Kazakhstan?”

Zhandos didn’t answer immediately. “I wanted to live in a better place.”

“You were involved in pretty dirty business, right?” Mello tried to be as pushy as possible. “I’m not judging you. I need to know.”

“Extortions, kidnapping, drug dealing... to say some.” The Kazakh huffed. “I got in trouble with the Russian Mafia so I left.”

“And now you’re with the Yakuza?”

“Not really.”

“Thank you for telling me. I have to go now.”

“Wait, you’re not clean either, are you Sasha? You’re no student.”

“You’re right. But I can’t tell you anything now.” Mello thought briefly if asking him or not. No, not now, he needed Zhandos to trust him first. “I’ll contact you as soon as possible. Do you have an email address?”

“Sure. It’s bozanfragment@mail.ru”

“Okay. I’ve to go now.”

“Khorosheye puteshestviye.”

“Spasibo. Poka.[1]” Mello didn’t wait for a response and hung up just in time. He saw Light walking in his direction, Ryuk floated behind him. Mello unwrapped a chocolate bar and took a bite.

 

 

Ryuk observed how Mello left the gent’s room and walked towards a store. He didn’t seem to have strange intentions, the shinigami decided to leave and to catch up Light.

“Did he behave?” He threw an apple at Ryuk.

The shinigami laughed and flew around Light, it was quite annoying when the so-called god of death behaved like a crazy chicken. “Yes. It’s quite amusing how you two don’t trust each other.” Ryuk sneered but Light ignored him. _‘Better safe than sorry. I can’t afford to lose; Mello is too fickle to be reliable.’_

Light approached Mello, something about him was strange, his face had a weird expression. Light could never really read Mello’s eyes, he actually had no issues in understanding a person but Mello’s constant mood swings were quite puzzling, Light never really knew what the blonde was up to.

“Here.” He handed him a large coffee-to-go and Mello grabbed it without thanking him. He uncapped the vodka mignon and poured it in the coffee. “What are you doing?”

“Coffee with shot?”

“And why?”

“What? It’s not uncommon in Europe and Japanese coffee is disgusting.” Mello held his cup to Light. “Want?”

“No!” Light palmed his forehead. _‘I’m going to need more patience than with a child.’_ “Come on, Mello drink your coffee, we still need to pass the security checks.”

“Hey, Yagami-gay?”

“What is it?”

“Can I get a little kiss? Hm?” Mello stepped closer to him but Light receded.

“Not in public.” Light said harshly. _‘I’m not a faggot like you.’_

 

\---

 

Light and Mello passed the security checks and waited until it was boarding time. Mello didn’t talk to Light and remained on his own, read the book he has bought. The flight was in time and both boys took place on the huge Boeing airplane. Mello complained that they had to fly in economy class, Light tried to explain that business class was already sold out. Fortunately for them the economy class was half empty, their places were in the last row, and the rows next and in front of them were not occupied.

The stewardess asked them what they wanted to drink, Light ordered Sencha tea and Mello a beer.

“Mello, did you eat something?”

“Yes, chocolate.”

“You shouldn’t drink on empty stomach. If you feel sick I swear I’ll kick your ass.”

“Pha... how am I supposed to feel sick, Japanese beer tastes like watered piss. Can’t wait to have a decent one.”

Light rolled his eyes. “Are you done now criticising?” Mello did not answer and opened the book. “What are you reading?”

“It’s a book I’ve already read, I’m just trying to improve my Japanese.”

Light read the title written in his native language. _Hot Water Music, Charles Bukowski_. He was the one who wrote vulgar stuff, wasn’t he? “Mello your Japanese is great, how long have you been talking it?”

“Don’t know... couple of months?” Mello found the spot where he had stopped to read before.

 

 

“Gotta pee.” Mello stood up and went into the bathroom. Light was listening to audio files from spy bugs he had placed in the Task Force headquarters before his disappearing. Curiously nobody has found and removed them yet.

“Excuse me, sir. Are you Leo?” A blonde young stewardess approached him.

Light put his glasses down and unplugged his ear buds. “Yes, it’s me.”

“Your brother is feeling sick. He asked for you.”

 _‘Brother? What the hell is Mello up to now?’_ Light’s eyes found Ryuk who was laying on the seat row next to them and chuckling like usual.

“Can I come too?” The shinigami asked and was already flying to the restroom entrance.

Light shook his head and followed the stewardess. “I hope he’s not getting a panic attack, he looked very anxious.” Light was worrying now, was Mello playing or was he really sick? He couldn’t tell, damn Mello and his tendency to fool everyone. “Is he claustrophobic?”

“No, he’s just afraid to fly. I might calm him down.” Light opened the door, Mello was kneeling on the ground, bent over the toilet. “Sasha, you ok?”

“I’m throwing up my soul. You have my meds.”

Light stepped in and closed the door. “Mello, serious? I told you to not drink, it would make you feel bad! Why didn’t you listen?”

“You have my antiemetic.” What the hell was he talking about? Light wanted to contradict him but Mello’s hands were already tugging down his track pants. “Here.” The blonde looked up, there he was, the little demon, his fair eyes lit up.

Mello took him in his mouth like he was now, soft and limp and Light hardened in no time. The blonde sucked him, his pierced tongue played with the sensitive part of his head. Light was upset. Excited but damn upset. He grabbed a fistful of blonde hair and tucked up the boy. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Blow you, what does it look like to you?” Mello earned a hard slap for his sharp reply. Light grabbed his hair again and turned him around so he was back facing him. He forced Mello to look in the mirror.

“I’m tired of your shit.” Light hissed in his ear but Mello smirked, his pierced tongue traced sensually his upper lip while looking at Light’s reflection. “Can you not behave like a normal person, at least sometimes?”

The blonde giggled and rubbed his ass against Light’s hard cock, felt him twitch. “Come on, I know you want it too.”

Mello’s proposal was absolutely unacceptable in Light’s conception of a perfect world but he couldn’t ignore his instincts, Mello was able to inflame desires in him that he always tried to repress. Light could kill two birds with one meal now, he could give in to temptation and punish the blonde for his disobedience. In any case, after they had sex Mello would keep quiet for a while.

Light pulled a fistful of blonde hair and shoved him against the mirror, Mello arched forwards over the small sink. Light tugged his pants down and slapped Mello’s ass, he was sure it would leave a red mark in form of a hand. Such a shame to spoil his perfect porcelain skin.

“Wait, I’ve a condom in my pants.” But Light was already rubbing his cock over Mello’s tight hole. “Hey, I’ve no intention to sit on your cum for the whole jour-“

“Shut the fuck up, Mello!” Light growled in his ear, Mello recognized a dangerous spark in his amber eyes. “You don’t deserve any special treatment if you don’t behave.” He tugged him by his hair and the blonde cried out. “Understood?” Light spat in his hand and rubbed some saliva on Mello’s hole then he smeared the rest on his cock where it mixed with his precum. He penetrated the blonde, harsh and deep, Mello gasped. Light pulled his hair again and forced Mello to look at his reflection. “Does it hurt, Mello?” He rammed his cock fully in, Mello bit down on his lower lip to not cry out again. “Does it?” He nodded, his eyes were shiny. Light didn’t want to hurt him _too much_ but he had to discipline the rebellious side of Mello, even if it excited the hell out of him. “I am Kira, I won’t tolerate any insolence.” He licked over the blonde’s ear shell, his teeth caught one of his earrings and pulled slightly.

“Fuck.” Mello hissed as Light grabbed his hipbones and began to fuck him harsh but slowly.

Light observed their reflection in the mirror, Mello’s eyes were hidden by his long bangs, his mouth halfway open. Light traced his lower lip and pushed his thumb in. _‘I will tame you, you’ll bend to me and then you’ll be only mine.’_ Light’s hand closed around Mello’s throat, his grip tightened slightly. _‘Sooner or later you’ll forget your god, you’ll forget Matt. I’ll be your only one.’_ Light was tired to be Matt’s ghost, it was useful at the beginning to get his clutches around Mello’s broken heart but now he had to desire only _him_.

Mello didn’t like it to be humiliated or to be castigated; his rebellious spirit did not accept rules, not by a human. And though, something about Light’s attempt to subdue him enthralled him. It was like a game to him, he would let his adversary win a couple of times before he would strike. Light could have his body whenever he wanted but was never going to have his mind, _never_. Mello would never bend to a false deity.

Light decided Mello was punished enough, now it was time to show him mercy. That was the right way to get him weak, too fool his pathetic mind. Light’s hand closed around Mello’s cock, played with the small metal stud, traced gently over his whole length, stroked him. _‘Sooner or later I’m going to break you.’_ Light licked the blonde’s scarred cheek and pressed a soft kiss on his temple, a gesture of reassurance. Mello moaned, Light felt the cock in his hand twitching and Mello’s insides clenching around him. He followed the blonde almost immediately, released into him.

Light brushed Mello’s fair mane forwards and kissed the back of his neck, his arms closed around him, pulled him close, he smelled his sweet scent, his mouth tasted his soft skin. Mello leaned back in his embrace, he felt the softening cock slipping out of him, warm cum dribbling down his thigh.

"Your brother, huh?" Light smiled to their reflection in the mirror, Mello was resting his head on his shoulder. “Please don’t tell me it’s a forbidden fantasy of yours.”

"You fucking idiot." Mello pushed him away and pulled up his track pants. “I’m not a pervert like you.”

 

\---

 

"Can I have this?" Light pointed to the book Mello has bought at the airport. He put his laptop away, he was tired at checking all the espionage files.

"Sure." Mello handed the book at Light. The former brunette observed how the blonde sucked at the pen and scrabbled something on a piece of paper.

"What are you writing?"

Mello shrugged. "Just a story." Light tried to take a glimpse but it was written in Cyrillic, so he couldn’t read anything.

 

It was night and Light was still reading, Mello asleep next to him. Light stretched out his legs and bumped against Mello’s. Light lifted up carefully the other boy’s left leg and made it rest on his lap. The blonde threw the other leg over Light's thighs as well.

"Can you reach me the blanket?"

"Thought you were asleep."

Mello shook his head and covered his legs. "I was observing people. I always do that because I can't sleep on planes."

"Me too and I do the same." So that was a thing he and Light had in common. It was the only thing Mello disliked about Matt, the redhead slept literally everywhere. He had good observation skills but was lazy as hell and didn't care much about the world. Mello instead observed, learned, remembered. It was the reason why he was able to learn so many languages. He just listened carefully and repeated in his mind.

Light undid the laces of Mello’s sneakers and took them off.

"You like the book?"

"Not really. It’s inappropriate." Light slipped one sock from Mello’s foot, his hand traced softly over his sole. “It’s all about drinking and fucking and betting on horse races.”

“You don’t understand a thing, Yagami-gay.” Light didn’t take his hand from Mello’s foot but continued to caress him there. "Mmmh that's sooo relaxing." Mello groaned loud but Light gestured him to talk low.

"Everyone's asleep." Light observed the blonde, he was even cuter in the dim light. He still couldn't believe what was going in on in him, how could he be attracted to another male. He had hoped it would fade away after their first sexual intercourse but each time Light tasted him again, he wanted more, and more and more. He slipped the other sock from Mello's foot and touched it softly. "You like it?"

Mello nodded, he was sitting there, eyes closed and back leaned against the window. "You really have a thing for feet, don't you?" Mello whispered and smirked.

"That's not true."

"Is that so?"

Was that so? Light didn’t know, it came natural when he was with Mello. "I never thought about it."

"You touch me there all the time."

"It's not that's a perversion or something... I just like it, okay?" Light admitted embarrassed.

"I'm not complaining." Mello leaned forward and rested his head on Light's shoulder. "So you never were aware?"

"Not really but... once happened something strange." Light put his arm around Mello's waist. "The day L died... we were on the roof and it was raining." Light told Mello how L insisted to dry his feet and even gave him a massage. Late night talks were most likely to reveal secrets. The blonde knew that _very_ well.

"And you liked that L touched your feet?"

"Hell no, not him! But the feeling _per se_ wasn’t bad. I thought if I meet something I really like I would do it too."

"Aaaaaah." Mello smirked. "So you like me."

"Come on, Mello. I don't fuck with you because you’re ugly." Light chuckled but Mello's face was serious. "What is it?" Hopefully not another Mello-style-drama. This moment was so intimate and cosy, for once they were able to talk like normal persons.

"We never talked about...” Mello paused and licked over his dry lips. “You never told me how L died."

"You want to avenge his death, too?" Light’s hand brushed a strand of blonde hair from Mello’s face, pressed a soft kiss on his forehead.

"No, I just want to know."

Light told Mello that L wanted to test the thirteen-day-rule. As Mello already knew, it was the missing key to prove that Light and Misa were respectively the first and the second Kira. Rem, Misa’s shinigami wrote L’s and Watari’s name on her notebook to save her mistress but had to forfeit with her own life.

"And the shinigami died, too?" Light nodded. "That's odd." Mello put pieces together to understand why L has done something selfless like drying Light’s feet. Like Jesus has washed Judas’ feet before their last meal, before he would betray his master. _‘Did he know he was going to die?’_

"So you never met L?"

"No, never.” Mello lied, again. “At the orphanage we just talked with him via Skype but none has ever seen his face." Light played tenderly with Mello’s toes. “Describe him to me.”

“L sat down like a crippled man, he always ate sweets, he kept things in his hand as if they were transmitting diseases and walked like an ape.” Mello giggled at Light’s bizarre description of his former tutor. _‘Not that Mello is much better. He runs around with tight leather clothes, acts like a hooker and does nothing but eat chocolate. I don’t dare to imagine what odd person Near is.’_

One of the stewardesses noticed they were awake and asked them if they wanted something to drink. Mello ordered coffee and Light sencha tea.

"What did you feel? When he died?" Mello whispered.

Light's amber eyes met his. "Nothing." He took a sip of tea. "I do sometimes wonder if he meant it... when he told me I was his only friend." Light's fingers traced over Mello’s slim ankle.

"No way." _There are monsters who always tell lies._ Mello shivered at the memory of L’s speech. _Because in truth, I am that monster._ "Everything L said was a lie. If he said something nice it was just to get what he wanted. L was sure till the end that you were Kira. Maybe he tried to make you confess by saying that."

"You don't seem to have a high opinion of L." Light noticed surprised. He thought L was like a mentor or a role model for Mello.

"No, I don't." Mello admitted and held the cup between both his hands. "Believe me, if I was him, I'd take out all the kids from there. Wammy's was a horrible place. I'd never let children go through this. We were just... machines for them. They never wanted us to be individuals, to have flaws."

"I'm sorry, Mello." Light's hand traced softly over Mello's scarred cheek, life has been tough with him and he turned out even too good for what he has been through.

"I could stand it there only because of Matt. Before he arrived at the orphanage, I often thought about killing myself."

"Really?" Light stared at the blonde. He never expected him to say something like that.

"Yeah." Mello shrugged and took a sip of coffee. "And I wasn't the only one. There was a boy, he was meant to be L's original successor. His name was A. He killed himself."

"What?" Light's eyes widened. "How old was he?" He felt a chill down his spine. _‘What kind of terrible place is this?’_

"Fifteen." Mello paused. He and Matt never talked about Wammy's with anyone. But why don't tell Light? He was Kira after all, maybe he would punish this injustice. "Have you ever heard about the case of the infamous serial killer named _Beyond Birthday_?"

"Yeah but nothing specific. Tell me."

"They called him B while he lived at the orphanage. I never met him, though, he lived there some years before I was brought there. He was the backup for A... but while A simply put an end to his miserable life, B got obsessed and went insane. He didn't want to become like L, he wanted to surpass him. So he aimed to become the world’s greatest criminal and to be his own victim so L would never be able to solve the case. Long story short, a detective named Naomi Misora prevented him from killing himself and B was put in prison. Then he died there after months. Heart attack." Mello paused. "Was it you?" Light shook his head. “They said it was Kira.”

"But it wasn’t me, really... I don't even know his true name or his face..."

"His given name was Benjamin Bärtzner... one of his aliases was Rue Ryuzaki."

“Ryuzaki?” Light raised an eyebrow. "The name L used as alias."

 _‘So was B copying L or vice versa? Why did L use Ryuzaki as name? Why did he tell me B’s story?_ ’ It was still a mystery to Mello, he never understood L’s intentions.

"What was L's real name?"

"I don’t know if his given name is known but his legal name became _L Lawliet_."

"What a stupid name."

"Totally."

"I have to admit, though... Misora's death is my deed." Light admitted but was not ashamed of it. Mello should become aware of his power.

"Thought so." Mello sipped at the paper cup in silence. He didn't seem to really care about.

 

 

“How strange that of all the places in the world you have chosen to live in LA like B.” Once Matt told him while they were drinking on the beach in front of their house. “Thought you were afraid to become like him.” Matt and his questions.

“It’s to exorcise my fears.” Mello answered and kissed his rosary. “I’ll never become like him as long as God protects me.”

 

 

"And Near?" Light asked him after a long silence and called Mello back to reality. "You know him well?"

"Yea sure. He lived at the orphanage since ever. We never went along well. I didn’t really have a problem with him at the beginning like I had with the other kids, you know. I never take it with smaller or weak ones like him but, apparently, he had a problem with _me_. They put us in a room together for, I don't know, a couple of weeks, then the sheep complained that I was noisy and he could not concentrate on his studies."

"That was mean." Light’s warm hand continued to massage Mello’s soft foot.

"Quite. But I think he was afraid I could become better than him."

"So you were rivals at school."

"Near and I were the best ones without any doubt. We had the same grades except I was lower in math and I was the best one in sports... but my, let's say, _lively_ behaviour dropped all my grades." Mello shook his head and smiled. It didn't matter anymore, not like before.

"You've always been a hothead, huh?"

"Hey, at least I'm not a machine like N."

"Describe him to me. I want to know about him so I can understand him too."

Mello huffed. "He's intelligent, obviously. His actions are over-thought and he never handles of impulse or instinct. He's very logical, very analytical, is extremely meticulous in his work. But he doesn't rely on intuition, on something that pushes people, sentiments, needs... He's predictable. Might seem the contrary because he's a cheater but once you find out his game, it's always the same. _Very_ complex but always the same. And most important, he's not daring."

"L was."

"Yes but N is not. He is a coward, he doesn't put himself into risk. At the meeting with the Task Force he was wearing a mask, remember? Even if Kira was not there. Even if he knew that Mikami had a false notebook. He is just _too_ cautious." Mello would never exchange his reckless personality with Near’s cowardice. ‘ _You have to take risks in life.’_

"I see. Figured out the most, but the fact he's a cheater... says a lot about him. Now I understand him better." Light's hand squeezed Mello's foot. "He will pay for everything." His hand traced Mello's slender leg upwards, rested briefly on his thigh.

"Make him suffer." The blonde hissed, his glance was cold.

"I will." Light stared in his eyes. “He’ll pay for treating you like that. You deserved better. They will all pay for this.” Light's hand found its way between Mello's legs, he was hard. "You've got a boner."

"Yeah." Mello's lips curled into a mischievous smile, his eyes turned into burning fire. "Told you conspiring against Near makes me fucking horny."

"I noticed." Light's hand rubbed over Mello's erected manhood, still covered by the blanket.

"Do you want to punish me for this, lord Kira?"

Light's hand freed Mello’s cock from his track pants, as he pulled his foreskin back, Mello groaned and Light smothered it by pressing his lips on the blonde’s. “Be quiet.” He whispered. Were they really going to do that here? Now? Was Light really such a daredevil?

Ryuk was laying on the seat row next to them and chuckled. “You guys are amusing.” Light rolled his eyes, he forgot about the annoying shinigami. Mello showed Ryuk his middle finger and licked it.

“You better keep watch and warn us if one of the stewardesses comes!” The blonde hissed in a low but still threatening voice tone. Light wondered how Mello was able to tame the shinigami. Better so, another way to use him.

Light’s thumb played with the small jewel through the head of his cock, smeared precum all over. Mello buried his face in Light’s neck, trying to not moan too loud. Light began to stroke him gently, Mello bit down sharply in his shoulder.

The blonde took Light’s hand and coated his fingers with saliva. “In me.” He whispered in his ear and Light did as he requested. His hand slipped under the blanket, Mello lowered his pants further and Light traced gently his hole before pushing one finger in. He thrust into the blonde a couple of times before adding a second one. “Damn.” The blonde hissed and cupped Light’s cheek, kissed him deeply, panted in his mouth in the same rhythm Light’s fingers were fucking him. Mello’s hand found its way under the blanket as well and began to stroke himself.

Light felt like he had set the airplane on fire, instead it was Mello’s skin that burned like arson. Light felt bad, guilty, unlawful. What if someone saw them, heard them, _smelled_ them? The damn blonde and his crazy hormones, wasn’t he too old to be horny like a constantly needy teenager? And yet, Light found it extremely exciting, he had never thought he ended up finger-fucking his former archenemy on an airplane. Life could be funny sometimes.

Light added a third finger, Mello gasped almost too loud. He covered the blonde’s mouth with his other hand and muffled his noises. Light thrust faster into him, tried to find the right spot that threw Mello out of mind. Mello’s breath became faster, deeper, Light felt a painful bite in his finger. “You close?” Mello nodded and crashed their lips together. Light did not stop, he felt Mello’s insides clenching around him.

Mello released in his hand, aware to not make a mess. He brushed his messy hair out of his face and met Light’s eyes.

"You see, Kira can be merciful." He smirked.

“Shut the fuck up or I swear I rub this in your hair.” Mello pointed at the cum in his hand.

“Are you done, lovebirds?” Ryuk chuckled behind Light. “One of the ladies is coming.” The shinigami made a back flip and his tongue hung out.

“Gimme a tissue.”

“I’ve none!” Light tried to search something to clean Mello’s hand. They heard one of the stewardesses approaching them.

“Fuck.” Mello swallowed his own release too fast and couched out.

“Do you need something?” The woman asked gently.

“Just... just a glass of water.” Light smirked.

 

* * *

 

[1] Travel safe – Thanks. Bye.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone's wondering, yes it is possible to fly with firearms. 
> 
> Artwork (quickdraw) by me, I had another one ready but my satanik kitten destroyed my drawing pad. And I suck at drawing hands and clothes so YA!  
> I hope I will be able to upload next week because I'll be on journey (as well).
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	13. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mello and Light arrive to LA and stay at Mel's place. Lots of feelings and memories involved, especially when Light is going to meet Mello's crazy friends. 
> 
> An easy transition and introduction chapter to the second part of the story. Mello's surroundings, everyday life and friends. Will those guys hinder Kira's plans or is Light going to find a way to use them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You look at me and dream that you want me  
> Love's a lie that claims to be lonely  
> No you're never gonna see  
> No I'm never gonna be what you want me  
> No I'm never gonna feel, all you're ever gonna be is insane if you want me
> 
> [WASP - Crazy]  
> https://youtu.be/eLTzqF00mXs

* * *

 

 

Mello found the right safe and typed the code to unlock it. He took the bunch of keys and a small note but didn’t read it yet. Light followed him outside the airport to the guarded parking lot holding a cup of coffee in his hand. It was about 10AM and they didn’t talk much. They were both exhausted after a ten hours flight with no sleep. The burning sun hit Light's head, he was already missing the cool winter in Japan.

Mello unlocked the door of a black vintage car. "Is this a Camaro?"

"Firebird." The blonde opened the door and threw the parka on the backseats. "Camaro is her sister car." He and Matt always dreamt about one owning a Firebird and the other a Camaro. Mello purchased both cars when Matt moved to the US two years ago. Such a pity Matt's car went lost in Japan, but on the other hand what was Mello supposed to do with two cars? Nothing.

Light walked around the pony car and observed it carefully, touched the black shiny varnish, his face revealing appreciation. "Year?"

"1968." Mello unzipped the track jacket and tossed it on the backseats as well. Finally some decent weather, finally no jackets anymore. Finally home. _'Home...'_ Mello sighed but gave Light a proud smile as he saw his bedazzled face. "Guess you like my girl."

Light nodded. Of course he did. And of course Mello had such a car, the blonde was a wacky guy with a peculiar taste. "Can I drive it?"

"No way!" Mello sat on the driver's seat and Light took place next to him. "First, you're not used to right-hand traffic and second just _no_." He turned on the CD player, the only part Matt had modified in the car. As he said, the stereo and nothing else, because _it would be pure blasphemy_. Mello never understood much about motors, he just liked the looks. Loud beats stormed from the speaker, Mello recognized the song, it was from Infected Mushroom. He stopped it immediately, Mello was not in the mood for Matt’s music.

"Damn Matt and his fucking falafel trance." Mello reached for the CD box and selected the newest WASP release. He recognized the opening riff from _Crazy_ and raised the volume. _'Better.'_ Mello lit the engine and they left the airport. "Can you look for my shades?"

 

 

"Traffic is really something annoying here in LA." Light looked around, all the streets were overfilled with vehicles; they were practically standing still since almost an hour.

"Don’t tell me." Mello looked up briefly to check the situation before returning his attention on Matt's PSP. Light had tried to dissuade him but they didn’t move anyways and he was going to fall asleep otherwise.

"I mean really, why does everyone take a car?"

"We're not in Japan, public transport sucks here."

Mello drove near the sidewalk and stopped the car in front of a coffee shop. "Can you buy some coffee, please? I swear I can't fucking stay awake."

Light took some USD from his backpack. "Don't abandon me here."

"Yeah and if, you'd be faster than me if you walk, damn fuck!"

 

Light sat down in the car, Mello was resting his forehead on the steering wheel. "What's up?"

Mello's state was something between sorrow and exhaustion. The small note Matt had left for him in the safe at the airport was another nail pinned through his bleeding heart. _Finally home x._ "I can't stand this fucking traffic, I swear." Mello whined dramatically. "If I had the notebook now, I'd write down all their names and free the road."

Light laughed out loud. "You're still not used to it?"

"I usually ride my bike to not get stuck in the traffic, I'm not stupid." Mello rolled a cigarette and took a sip of coffee. Light couldn’t see Mello's eyes behind the dark aviator sunglasses but he understood that something bugged him. The blonde put the first gear and moved into the traffic again. "Please talk to me or I swear, I'll pass out."

"Can I ask you something?"

"No, I'm not going to blow you now." Mello was driving with his knee and took a huge sip of hot coffee.

"Yeah what a coincidence." Light laughed. "I wanted to ask you how you can live with _this_?"

"This what?" Mello pulled from the cigarette. "This dick?"

"Your sexuality."

Mello rolled his eyes and huffed. "Again?"

"I mean, it's not allowed for Christians to be gay, right?" Mello nodded and took a sip of coffee. "So how do you deal with it?"

Mello remained silent for a good minute. "I don’t know." He said dryly. He really didn’t know but there must be a way to atone for his sins. He will find it. "By the way there are a lot of things that aren't allowed by the Bible."

"Like?" Light asked with interest, always eager to learn something new and maybe to use it for his purposes.

"Eating junk-food, premarital sex, wasting your cum, getting tattooed..." Light sipped at his coffee while listening to Mello. "… wearing bling, masturbating, wearing sexy clothes."

"Yeah and you do all of these."

"Eating seafood!" Mello yelled at Light.

"I'm not Christian, I can."

"Yea and there's a lot of other things like gossiping and working on Saturday, but no, everyone's focusing only on the gay stuff."

"If you know it’s wrong why do you do it?"

Yes, why did he do it? Mello shrugged in response. _'As if the love I have for Matt was less worth.'_

"I didn’t choose to be like this."

"Because you're a troublemaker." Light told him with a broad grin, trying to not get too serious.

"And is that a problem for lord Kira?" Mello snapped at him.

"Nah." Light grinned and took a sip of coffee. "I think I can deal with it."

 

\---

 

"We're almost there." As soon as they left Los Angeles the traffic dissolved. “Two and a half hours instead of forty fucking minutes!” Mello complained, it wasn’t what he needed after a long flight.

"As soon as we're home we should put Lidner's mobile under surveillance. Just in case."

“Right.” Mello brushed a strand of hair from his eyes. _‘And something else, too.’_

 

Mello parked the car in front of a beach house. Light looked around, it was quite a lovely place to live. The neighbour houses weren’t very close and it seemed to be a lot quieter than in the city. Mello’s house was directly on the beach and close to the ocean, Light could smell the salty sea air. Yes, Mello had found a nice stay.

Mello walked up the stairs and unlocked the entrance door but stopped briefly. What was coming towards him? He didn’t want to think about all the times he came home and Matt was hacking something on his laptop or sitting in front of the TV and gaming. Or about each time Mello stepped through the door and Matt gave him a kind smile and a hungry kiss. He had to think about something else. Mello kissed the cross of his rosary.

 

 

 

**End of October, 2008**

 

“Babe, I’m home!” Mello chirped. He was happy he could leave Chicago two days earlier than planned to go back home to his boyfriend. He missed him so much already. “Matt?” Mello called another time but no answer came. The blonde entered their flat, a wave of disgusting _something_ hit him. It stank of cigarettes, weed, old booze and burned crack. _‘What the fuck happened here?’_ He scanned the room, it was a total mess. Empty take-away food boxes were thrown everywhere, drained beer cans and liquor bottles were abandoned in each corner of the house. Mello’s eyes roamed over to their bed, two persons were laying in it. He felt anger burning in him, jealousy burning in his throat. But then his eyes found Matt laying face downwards on the small couch next to the bed, he had still his goggles on.

“What is this mess? Who are those two?” Mello slapped the back of his boyfriend’s head. “Matt!” Mello kicked Matt’s leg that was hanging from the couch. “Matt!” He yelled hysterically.

The redhead groaned. “Leave me.”

Mello pulled him up. “Matt! What the fuck! I told you to keep the house clean!”

“Oi Mells!” Matt finally reacted and took off his goggles.

“Who are those guys?” Mello shook him. “Answer, asshole!”

“What the fuck, Mel!” Matt gave him a heavy shove.

Matt was awake now and his eyes sparked, the goggles had stamped a red ring around them. It wasn’t easy to get Matt angry but waking him up roughly and complaining about household were two things the redhead couldn’t stand. “You hysteric bitch! What are you doing here?”

“I see you’re glad I’m back earlier.” Mello tried to remain calm but it wasn’t easy. Matt could be a real asshole when he was pissed.

Their loud argument woke up the unwanted guests. Mello found out they were Georgios and Jonnie, Matt’s former roommates from the time he lived in Amsterdam.

“So I leave for a week and you call your friends?” Mello was too exhausted from the journey to have a fight with Matt, he left the flat and walked out on the beach. _‘Idiot.’_ Matt didn’t follow him and it was better that way or they would kill each other. Matt was the calmer one but once he was pissed, he could be _very_ dangerous.

It was Jonnie who ran after him and tried to make up between them both. Mello didn’t know the hippie but liked her straight away, they were both extroverted weirdoes. Jonnie could persuade Mello to get back in the flat and to make peace with his boyfriend. It ended that Matt forced Mello to take a cold shower and Mello forced on Matt in the shower.

 

\---

 

Mello entered the one-story house, he was surprised as he saw that Matt had not left a mess like usually, but had tidied up, or tired to, and cleaned everything neatly before leaving and following Mello to Japan.

Light followed Mello inside the flat. There were no separate rooms aside the bathroom. On the right side was the living part, the small cooking area was located in the middle, a huge king size bed was placed next the vast window wall on the left part.

Mello walked through the flat that once acted as love nest for him and Matt. It didn’t escape to Light's attention that Mello looked somewhat lost.

The blonde stood in front of the kitchen counter, his eyes found a post-it note on the microwave. _Miss U already <3_ and there he felt it. His eyes saw black, his head felt dizzy. He leaned forwards and supported his body on the counter to avoid to collapse on the ground. He didn’t want to be weak, not now, not again in front of Light. But Mello couldn’t withhold a tear running from his eye.

Light felt jealousy crawling beneath his skin. He swallowed hard, he wanted Mello's attention for him and him alone. Light neared Mello from behind and touched his shoulder. "Mello..."

The blonde turned his sad face to Light. "It hurts so fucking much." In the end, he cried. "I can't stand it."

Light cupped his cheek. "You can, Mello. You're not weak." Light kissed him softly, slowly, his fingers ran through long blonde hair. Mello's arms closed around his neck, pulled him closer, deepened their kiss.

Light's hand ran down Mello's back, squeezed his ass, lifted him up and made him sit on the counter. Mello wrapped his legs around Light's hips, he felt how Light was already hard and he _too_. Light rolled his hips smoothly, Mello purred in his mouth.

"Do you want me?" Light asked him sensually while nuzzling the soft skin on Mello's neck. The blonde gave a nod as answer. "Say it." Light whispered into his hair. Mello was already panting, _of course_ he wanted him but he wasn’t going to beg, not now. "Say it, say that you want me." Light demanded in a low but severe tone. _‘Bend to Kira, Mello.’_ Light rubbed their still clothed cocks together, he felt precum soaking his underwear, Mello’s hands traced his back downwards, grabbed his ass, pulled him closer, gasped softly. It was just too easy, Light was using Mello's weakness to insinuate in his mind, to manipulate his emotions and to shape him like he wanted. And yet, the only noises from Mello's mouth were soft moans, not the words Light wanted to hear. Why was the blonde so stubborn? He was going to hurt him so bad for this.

"On your knees." Light thrust his hips hard against Mello's erected cock, squeezed his ass, the blonde moaned loud. "Suck me, you slut."

Mello was about to unhook his legs but something interrupted them both. The shinigami giggled behind them. “You have visits.” Ryuk flew over to the opened entrance door.

"Guys! You're back! I saw your car outside." A squeaky voice yelled through the room. "Matt, you're blonde now?"

Light turned and faced the intruder. How dared this person to disturb him while he was subduing his minion? A tiny, young adult was standing there, smoky grey hair tied up to a messy bun on top of its head, short bangs hung in its face, it was dressed in a black tank top, harem pants and flip flops, had random tattoos and facial piercings. _'What is this_ thing _?'_ Light couldn’t tell if this sort of hippie was female or male. It had the face of a girl but the body of a guy.

"Oh." The hippie froze as she found out that it wasn’t Matt who Mello was making out with.

"Jonnie-boy!" Mello smiled and jumped from the counter.

"Melli! But where's Matt?"

Mello's face was deadly serious, something was wrong. "He's gone." The blonde crossed himself.

"Gone?" Jonnie asked. “Dead?”

Mello nodded and rushed towards the greyhead, embracing his friend tightly. "Glaub von nun an kein Wort. Ich werde dir alles erklären[1]." He whispered in Jonnie's ear, then he said aloud. "He died in a car accident two weeks ago. I couldn’t call you because I broke my phone."

Jonnie broke out in tears and Mello cried too, finally someone who shared his pain. "That's not fair!" Jonnie cried and embraced Mello tighter.

Light felt somehow out of place. _'Shit.'_ Now that Mello had his friend close, did he still need him? _'Of course he needs me. He's weak.'_ He reprehended himself. Ryuk chuckled as he understood that Light felt put aside, a hit in his arrogant pride. If glances could kill, Light would have wiped out both the shinigami and the hippie.

"Enough crying now." Jonnie patted gently Mello's back and walked over to Light. "I'm Jonnie by the way." She held out her hand and Light squeezed it, showing to the other person who was the dominant one there.

"Leo."

"Are you from Japan?"

"Yes. I came here with Mello."

The blonde intervened. "We met in Tokyo and became friends.”

"Uh-hu." Jonnie raised an eyebrow. “But you don’t look like a Jap.”

“Well, I’m mixed race. Guess my Caucasian part shines through the most.” Light never considered himself as _mixed race_ but it wasn’t a lie what he told.

"And what do you do in your life?" Mello rolled his eyes, Jonnie was curious like an ape. Light remained in silence, wasn’t really sure what to answer.

"He's in the Japanese police. We met because of Matt's accident and... he helped me through it." Mello intervened and looked at Light with shiny eyes. Light looked back at Mello, he wanted to fuck him badly. _Now_. Why did this _thing_ have to be here?

“Oooh okay.” Jonnie's eyes widened. Mello wasn’t going to admit he and Light had an affair even if Jonnie had understood everything since she crashed in his flat while they were making out. But better Georgios didn’t know, he saw in Matt his younger brother after all. "Cool!" The hippie yelled enthusiastically and clapped her hands.

"Joy-boy, can you make me some coffee? I'm lazy and tired as fuck.”

"Ja, sure!"

"I can make some if you want." Light threw in, trying to get his attention back.

"I doubt you're able to use an Italian espresso machine." Light shook his head, Mello gestured him to sit on the cushions on the floor in front of the Japanese-style chabudai table. Mello turned on the 60 inch TV and put on a Twisted Sister live DVD, grabbed his matte black e-guitar and sat down next to Light. He strummed the instrument along the background music.

"Is this gay metal for gay people?" Light pointed at the singer.

"Shut the fuck up! This guy has more testosterone than you and I together." Mello snarled, Light and his inappropriate comments.

"I doubt it."

Jonnie giggled while serving coffee to Mello. "You want coffee too, Leo?"

"Yes, thank you." He flashed a charming smile. "Why does he dress up like a woman?" That guy’s style was even worse than Mello’s hooker clothes.

"For provocation?"

"I like this music." Ryuk stood in front of the TV and listened to the heavy sounds beating from the speakers, shaking his head in the same rhythm. Light palmed his forehead. As if Mello and his eccentric taste wasn't enough to deal with.

"Mello." Light whispered and looked at the hippie who was back facing them. "Is Jonnie a girl or a boy?"

"Jo, do you have a dick now?"

"Nope, still a snatch." Jonnie served a cup of coffee to Light and plopped down next to him with another cup in her hand. "You can address to me as girl if you prefer."

"I thought you wanted to become a guy?" Mello raised an eyebrow.

"Yes but I'm not sure, lately I feel like a girl again."

"Do you never feel like an idiot?" Mello laughed. "He's doing testosterone injections if you wonder why he looks like a boy."

"And I have a male voice." Jonnie threw in.

Light mentally pinched the bridge of his nose, where was he? It was like one of those nonsense American talk shows with absurd people talking about ridiculous topics.

Mello emptied the coffee and put the guitar back on its stand. "I need to wash my face." The blonde disappeared in the bathroom and left Light alone with _the thing_.

"So, how did you meet the guys? Were you in the orphanage with them?" Light asked, trying to understand if Jonnie was one of Wammy's children too.

"Hm? Ah no, my parents are still alive." The greyhead explained. "But I know Matt since ever. My parents used to visit their friends in Belgrade quite often."

"Where are you from?" _‘So she's European too.’_

"My parents are Polish but I grew up in Germany." Jonnie took a sip of coffee. "As kids Matt and I used to go to the same synagogue in Belgrade and he was like brother to me."

"Synagogue?" Light looked confused. What was _this thing_ talking about?

"It's a praying place for Jews. Then Matt disappeared for some years and we met again at a goa festival in Tel Aviv[2] three or four years ago."

"A synagogue is a Jewish temple, like Christian churches." Mello sat next to Light and explained it to him, while shaking a small bottle of nail polish. "Damn Jo, you're note even able to explain what your religion is?" Jonnie shrugged. "Do you have some ganja here?"

"Sure."

"Then roll." Mello ordered, Light observed how the blonde has switched to alpha-male-attitude. He was never at his levels, though.

"Yeah, Jonnie rolls a jonny." The hippie reached for the metal grinder on the table and grinded some weed.

"So Matt was Jewish?"

"His mother was and he got raised to her belief." Jonnie explained while mixing tobacco and marijuana in an empty coconut shell.

Light faced Mello. "I thought Jews and Christians don’t get along well."

"Neither do Serbs and Croats but fuck it, we're not bloody racists." Mello explained with nonchalance while painting his nails black.

"JA man, we don’t need this shit. Peace and love." Jonnie closed the joint and admired her work. "And Matt is _de facto_ Catholic since Barbie forced him to get baptized."

"So he was Catholic like you?" Why did he even care? But Light wanted to know who Matt was, understand him better and why Mello loved him so much. Jonnie offered the joint to Light but he denied.

"Pfff Matt? He gave a shit on all this." Mello took a deep drag from the joint and exhaled an enormous amount of smoke. "It was me who was concerned for his soul."

"So much to tolerance." Jonnie wanted to take the joint but Mello pulled another time.

"Hey, better safe than sorry. Not baptized souls remain in the limbo. You should get baptized too."

"Nah, its fun to be Jewish."

"What the fuck, Jo! You don’t even know how to pray."

"No but I don’t eat pork."

"Because don’t eat meat, you stupid!"

"That's always something." Jonnie shrugged and pulled from the joint, exhaling rings of smoke.

"I swear it, Jo. Sooner or later I'm going to shove a fucking frankfurter up your Jewish ass." He menaced while snatching the joint from the hippie's fingers.

Light laughed. Jonnie was hilarious and Mello seemed more at ease in her presence. Maybe it wasn’t that bad here.

Ryuk neared Light from behind. "That guy is a funny one." The shinigami chuckled. "When do I get another apple? I hungry." Ryuk made a back flip, he inhaled some smoke and grimaced.

Mello ignored the monster. "Fuck, I really miss eating home cooked food."

"You should learn to cook, Melli."

"You can't cook?" Light wondered.

"No! Can you?" Mello provoked him.

"No but I'm not a Barbie girl like you."

Ryuk burst out in laughter and earned a bad glance from Mello. "Sorry, pretty boy but one to zero for Light." It wasn't easy to ignore the annoying shinigami when other people were around.

"The only dishes I can cook are borscht and palačinke."

"Hey why don’t you come at our place tonight? Rio has day off and he’s going to cook a lot of stuff today."

"Please tell me he's making moussaka." Mello continued to smoke the joint without passing it to Jonnie.

"Ja, sure."

"You mind?" Mello asked Light. "You like Greek food?"

"I don’t know but its okay, let's go." Light shrugged but wasn’t properly averse to the idea to spend some hours out. He could feel Mello’s tension since they came back home.

"Yay! High five!" Jonnie squeaked. "Let's get wasted!"

"I don’t think I'll be able to party tonight. I'm still exhausted from the journey. We both are." Mello pointed at him and Light.

"Hm okay. But we could go for a run tomorrow."

Light snapped with his fingers. "That's an excellent idea!"

"I'm in."

"You should resume your training schedule, you've lost quite some weight Melli-jelly." Mello showed her his middle finger and stole the joint from the ashtray. “Why are you wearing sport clothes? Two months in Japan and you change style?”

“It’s called ten-hours-on-a-fucking-plane. Now fuck off Jonnie-boy, I need a shower.”

 

 

As soon as Jonnie has left, Light grabbed Mello by his waist and kissed him hard. He pushed him back down on the cushions and lay on top of him.

"So what did that song say? We're gonna make it, we'll reach the top." Light murmured between their kisses, nibbled at his lips, licked the point of Mello's cute Slavic nose. The blonde although, didn’t seem particularly thrilled. "Where did we stop earlier?" Light purred, while smelling the sweet scent of the blonde’s skin.

"I'm not in the mood now." Mello pushed him away. "I want to take a shower and to sleep."

Light's eyes seemed to burn down everything but remained calm. Yes, he would break his will sooner or later. "We should find a safe place for the notebooks."

“Right.” Mello walked to the cooking area and moved the retro-style fridge forwards. He typed in a code and put his thumb on the small scanner. God bless Matt and his technology fetish.

“Well, that’s what I call a good hiding place.” Light handed him both notebooks, still wrapped in black plastic bags.

Mello closed the safe. “Gimme your hand.” The blonde saved Light’s fingerprint and told him the secret code. Light helped him to move the fridge back in its place. “Now, I really need to sleep but make yourself at home.” Mello brushed his eyes. “I’ve some soluble coffee, some tea... but only black one and...” He opened the freezer. “Frozen ready meals and pizza if you’re hungry. I suppose you know how to use a microwave.”

“Sure.” Light nodded. Did Mello really authorize him to do what he wanted in his house?

Mello hit the power button of the PC, he needed to connect as soon as possible to Halle’s mobile phone. And as Matt had taught him, to intrude the intern system of the SPK. Light took out his own laptop and Mello connected it through an Ethernet cable. As soon as the blonde was done with all the setups, he disappeared in the bathroom and took an absurdly long and hot shower.

Light heated some water and made himself a huge cup of soluble coffee. _Mafia Queen_ said the decoration on the black mug. It was Mello’s for sure. The former brunette sat in front of Mello’s PC. He has shown him a curious program that created live connection to Halle’s mobile phone, in this case. Light listened to what the woman was doing, although most of the time there was just silence. Bored, he looked around Mello’s flat. Random posters decorated the walls, the whole living area was composed of bookcases that were overfilled with books and vinyls, only a few DVD and VHS cases filled the space in the shelves. A vintage stereo system stood next to a cabinet with a few firearms inside. A small table acted as a sort of shrine, a Virgin Mary figurine and other religious symbols were placed on it. The wall next to the computer area was decorated with tons of Polaroid photos depicting mostly Mello, but also random moments of the blonde and some friends, concerts, landscapes. A few showed the blonde kissing a redhead, only on one picture a handsome redheaded guy with blue eyes appeared, the confirmation of their similarity even more evident.

“I put a clean towel for you on the sink.” Mello came back and collapsed in the bed without saying anything else.

“Thanks.” Light felt slightly pity for him, it mustn’t be easy to handle this situation. But on the other hand, he was glad Mello was having a difficult time because he wouldn’t be there otherwise. Light emptied the coffee and was about to go and take a shower when something caught his interest.

<Near, we have to talk.>

 

\---

 

Mello decided to stay easy that evening and put on a random band shirt and black ripped skinny jeans, he wore black vans on his feet, the only casual footwear he owned aside his sports shoes. Light felt at ease as well and wore just some sweats and a shirt.

The blonde knocked at the door and entered the one-story house, it was practically identical to the one Matt and Mello lived in, except that Georgios and Jonnie had two separated bedrooms.

A tall guy squeezed Mello tightly and patted his back. “I’m so sorry, man.” Mello nodded and broke the embrace.

“This is Rio.” Mello introduced Georgios and Light. “This is my friend Leo from Japan.”

Light studied the tall guy, he had waist-long dreadlocks pulled back in a knot, sparkling green eyes were emphasized by dark lashes and tanned skin. The black wife-beater shirt showed some geometric tattoos on his trained arms, he looked quite intimidating but was very friendly.

“What do you have to drink?” Jonnie handed Mello a can of pale lager beer. “No, fuck!”

“But we only have this!” Jonnie squeaked and opened the can, taking a huge sip.

“I’ve drank enough watered piss in Japan, I need decent beer.” Mello complained.

“Do you have some wine, guys?” Light asked but Jonnie shook her head.

“Nobody likes wine here.” Mello rolled a cigarette.

“But you drink champagne.”

“Champagne is champagne and wine is wine.” Mello lit the cigarette and took a deep drag. “I go to the store to buy some booze and pick up some wine for you too, okay?”

“Should I come with you?” Light asked him, he wasn’t sure if staying alone with the two strangers was a welcome idea.

“No stay here!” Jonnie threw in. “Rio is busy with cooking and I get bored otherwise.”

“Okay.” Light smiled at the hippie, proud about how his charm worked on men, women and confused things like Jonnie.

“The store is nearby. A two-minute-walk and I’m there.” Mello took out his wallet and counted his money. “Guys I gotta repay you for the bills you took care to-“

“Next time.” Georgios interrupted the blonde.

Mello faced Light. “Your lord and highness, any preferences for your wine?”

“I’m cooking lamb.” Georgios informed Light to guide his choice.

“Because you’re cruel and evil!” Jonnie cried out.

“Red one, Italian or French.” Light tried to hide a smirk. _Your lord and highness_ was definitely something he wanted to hear while he was fucking the blonde. Mello left and Light’s eyes urged Ryuk to follow him.

 

 

Light tried to understand if Jonnie and Georgios were in Matt’s hacker team but dropped any suspect soon. Maybe Georgios, but Jonnie definitively not, she was too much of an idiot. He also tried to ask them indirectly what they thought about Kira but none of them seemed to have interest in what happened in the world. Light got almost a heart attack as Jonnie noticed that his watch was still set on JST and tried to fix it but he could dissuade her to leave it like that because he _had to call his mother in time_. Georgios invited Light in his room and showed him proudly his Leucistic rainbow boa. Light looked around and noticed some psychedelic stuff all over the shelves and lots of porn. Gay porn of course. _‘There’s no way out from gay hell.’_

 

 

Mello walked along the street, smoking the rolled cigarette. His developed senses perceived a presence behind him. “What are you doing here?” The blonde didn’t even turn towards his stalker.

The shinigami flew next to Mello and giggled. “Just keep an eye on you, pretty boy.”

Mello rolled his eyes. “Did Light tell you to?”

“Don’t underestimate me. I might seem an idiot but trust me, appearances can be deceptive. Like you, when you play the helpless cute boy.” Ryuk sneered and his tongue traced over his blue lips. “Or your friend Jonnie. He’s not the moron he seems, right?”

Mello shrugged and extinguished the cigarette in the ashtray before entering the store. He grabbed some Baltika 9[3] and chose a decent wine for Light. Before going to the cash desk, he picked up a couple of red apples.

Mello left the store and threw an apple to the shinigami. Ryuk ate the fruit in two bites and felt the thrill already.

“What’s your plan, pretty boy? Once you get what you want? Are you going to kill your Raito-kun?” Ryuk chuckled and flew circles around the blonde. “I’m afraid to tell you that it’s impossible. I will write his name in the notebook.”

Mello listened carefully and gave Ryuk another apple.

“But we can make a deal, pretty boy. I can write in the notebook that _you_ will kill him. For a generous amount of apples of course.”

Mello acted as if it wouldn’t interest him. He arrived back at his friends’ house and heard Jonnie yelling angry at Georgios. For sure the Greek has shown Light how he fed his snake.

 

 

Mello put a wine bottle on the table. “Nero d’Avola.” He uncapped a bottle of beer and drank from it.

“Sorry, Light. He saw me.” Ryuk chuckled and stood next to Mello. “But I got an apple from him.” Mello crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, his glance told him _was that necessary?_

_‘So Mello now knows how to corrupt Ryuk?’_ Light shivered at the thought of Ryuk and Mello plotting against him.

“Come guys, dinner is ready!”

Mello and Light took place on the soft cushions around the chabudai. Light wondered if all Americans liked Japanese furniture that much.

 

 

“What’s this?” Light pointed to a white sauce with herbs.

“Tzatziki.” Jonnie explained but Light looked confused. “It’s good. It’s Greek yogurt with cucumber and garlic.”

Light dipped some pita bread in the sauce and ate a huge amount of it. But as he savoured it, his eyes widened immediately. “But it’s raw!” Mello laughed and ate a spoon full of tzatziki sauce without bread. “How can you eat this?”

“Hey, I’m a Balkan boy, I love raw garlic.” Mello offered his glass to Light. “Here, have some beer.”

“You just like garlic because you’re afraid of vampires.” Jonnie threw in, Light and Georgios burst out laughing.

“That’s not true!” Mello snarled at the sheboy.

“It is! You once told me you don’t watch horror movies because you’re afraid and vampires cause you nightmares.”

“What the fuck! I never said such bullshit.”

“Yes, you did! It was when you had that bad trip. You were crying and puking all the time and I had to hold back your Barbie hair.” Jonnie pulled her tongue out.

“You’re a big fat liar, Jo!”

“Why was he crying?” Light asked Jonnie, laughing like crazy, he could barely hold his tears back.

“Jonnie!” Mello warned her but the hippie hid behind Light’s tall figure and touched his muscular arms.

“Oh, you’re sexy. Maybe we should date.” She whispered to Light and giggled while touching his developed pectorals. “Because Matt had forced him to watch a movie and it disturbed him.” Mello threw a piece of bread at Jonnie and menaced to rip her tongue out. Light and Georgios were bent over the table and laughing themselves stupid, Mello tried to catch Jonnie.

“Damn guys... I miss Matt.” The sheboy huffed and her eyes became shiny.

“Yeah... don’t tell me...” Light looked at Mello, the blonde’s face had turned sad.

Georgios filled four small tumbler glasses with ouzo and offered one to each of the diners. “To Matt, beloved friend and brother.”

Mello and Jonnie smashed their glasses together. “To Matt.” Mello crossed himself and swallowed the whole content before kissing the cross.

_‘To Matt’s death.’_ Light raised the glass and drank, but coughed out immediately. “What’s this?”

“Ouzo. Maybe it’s strong if you’re not used to it.” Georgios explained and handed Light some water “Take small sips.”

Light nodded and did as Georgios suggested him. The flavour wasn’t bad, it tasted similar to liquorice but it was very strong.

“Have you ever met Matt, Leo?” Light shook his head and faced Jonnie. “You would like him.” Jonnie began to talk about Matt, she was a waterfall of words, Matt this, Matt that. _‘Is she even able to breathe?’_

 

 

It was a while later of Jonnie’s unceasing blathering that Mello stood up and walked in the kitchen. “I take a smoke outside.” He murmured, his voice pointed out he was quite irritated. Mello filled his glass with Metaxa and stepped out on the balcony.

“But Melli!”

Georgios shook his head. “Leave him alone.” He pointed his finger to his roommate and scolded her. “When will you be able to talk less nonsense?”

Jonnie ignored Georgios’ rebuking and approached Light. “Are you Melli’s new boyfriend or his fuckfriend?”

“Dear God, Jonnie!” Georgios tossed a balled paper towel at his pesky roommate.

Light couldn’t hide his amusement. “No, I’m not.” He remembered how Mello denied their liaison earlier that day. But what were they precisely?

“Better for you.” Georgios mixed a lot of weed with little tobacco and began to roll a joint. “Mello’s sexdrive is something unbearable.”

“Really?” Light didn’t know why but he felt jealousy crawling inside him each time they talked about Matt and Mello together.

“Ja, they fucked all the time. Everywhere. Matt sometimes complained he couldn’t walk straight.” Jonnie laughed. Georgios nodded in agreement and lit up the joint. Light was glad he was the one who stayed on top between them and it was going to remain that way. “We had to stop to enter their house without ringing because they were always fucking around. Melli is a nymphomaniac.”

“Males are called satyromaniacs, Jo!” Georgios filled his glass with ouzo and took a sip. He offered the joint to Light but he denied. “And it’s not true, he’s just a horndog.”

Jonnie took a deep drag from the joint. “Never come to the insane idea to put up one of their DVDs without asking first.”

“Why?” Light raised an eyebrow and took a sip of ouzo.

“Because half of their DVDs are their own sex tapes.” Light swallowed the wrong way and coughed out.

“Jonnie, come on stop it gossiping. You’re scaring Leo.”

 

 

 

Mello walked out on the balcony and glanced up to the sky, he took a deep drag from the cigarette. He drank and smoked in silence while the others were in the house laughing and talking, he didn’t even pay attention to them. Mello extinguished the cigarette and leaned on the banister observing the shiny surface of the dark ocean, letting his thoughts flow.

“Here you are.” Light stepped out and stood next to him. The other two were inside and arguing about who had to do the dishes.

“Hey.” Mello smiled shyly and looked at Light with his puppy eyes.

“How do you feel?” Light caressed softly his scarred cheek.

“I’m exhausted... in each sense.” Light pulled him in for a tight embrace, ran his fingers through the blonde’s hair, kissed his forehead. “Thank you...” Mello sighed and buried his face in the crook of Light’s neck. “... for being here with me.”

“I’m glad too.” Light whispered and traced softly along Mello’s back, rested his hand on his butt. Light’s other hand cupped the blonde’s cheek and gave him a quick kiss, soft, gentle, their tongues barely met. But still, it was a kiss and it was a kiss full of affection.

Georgios didn’t like what he saw. His eyes perceived a quick, slinky kiss, Light’s hand was squeezing Mello’s ass. They were not just friends, not even _just_ fuckfriends. Georgios didn’t like how they looked at each other. He didn’t like how Mello looked at Light because it was very similar to how his eyes used to look at Matt.

 

* * *

 

 

[1] Don’t believe a word, I’ll explain you later

[2] Tel Aviv has a very active nightlife and has a large LGBT community. It’s also named “the best gay city in the world”, there are lots of goa festivals on the beach (whole Israel has a great psytrance scene)

[3] Baltika 9 is Russian beer, a bit stronger than regular one both in taste and alcohol

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artwork as usually by me, it's so hard to draw fluff (and clothes) It's called Moonlight Kissing and it's the last scene of the chapter btw
> 
> Mello character sheet (updated) https://archiveofourown.org/works/14338509/chapters/33091125
> 
> Matt character sheet  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/14338509/chapters/33832938
> 
>  
> 
> I chose to give Mello a Firebird as car for two reasons. First because Matt has a Camaro (in the manga) thus Mello has its sister car as consequence. Second, because 'Firebird' is one of my favourite songs from Tuber, desert rock band from Greece. I recommend to give it a try, the bassline is great - eargasm assured.  
> https://youtu.be/IIWlXTEGYUQ
> 
> Jonnie is a FTM trans, technically still a girl, so I refer to her as 'she', even if the guys see her as boy and say 'he'. But all in all she's an idiot.
> 
> The song Light is referring to while making out with M is 'We're gonna make it' from Twisted Sister.
> 
> MxM background story is coming soon.
> 
> Thanks for reading)


	14. Thy kingdom come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mello likes to plot against Near. Light too. So they plot together and go to church.  
> I'm not sure in which sense Kira's kingdom is coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And if you're hurting  
> I will replace the noise  
> With silence instead  
> Flushing out your head
> 
> If you like it violent  
> We can play rough and tumble  
> Fall into bed  
> And I won't breathe so you can recover
> 
> When you're in pieces  
> Just follow the echo of my voice[...]
> 
> Pleasure for pleasure  
> The tease is consequence  
> Enough for a fall  
> But I know you love to take a risk
> 
> IAMX - Spit it out (Designer Drugs remix)  
> https://youtu.be/q-Jw0H8VED4

 

* * *

 

 

 

“I can’t...” Mello was out of breath. “Guys I can’t anymore.”

“Come on, Melli!” Jonnie and Light were a few feet further, the hippie ran back to him. “What’s up, man? We used to run at least ten kilometres. We’ve made only five.”

“I’m out of practice. I haven’t run for four months.” Mello panted and let himself fall on the dusty ground.

Light crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. Four months ago his father died and Mello was injured in the explosion.

“At least try it till the end of the shore.”

“No. Got a stitch in my side.”

Jonnie rolled her eyes and punched softly Light’s shoulder. “You look fit. Let’s run till there and back.” She pointed to a spot further on.

Light shrugged. “I’ve no problem to make it.” He smirked at Mello and Ryuk laughed behind him. Mello shot them both a bad glance.

“Yeah abandon me here, you fuckers!” Mello showed them both middle fingers. “I’ll walk.”

Jonnie and Light turned and run away leaving Mello behind. The blonde pointed to the shinigami. “Fuck off!” But Ryuk laughed at him.

 

 

Light and Jonnie ran for other two kilometres and back again. Jonnie didn't stop chatting; Light wondered how she was able to survive running, heat and blabbing at the same time. At least she was amusing, he even had to stop a couple of times because he had to laugh.

Light was dying of heat but he was glad he could finally do some exercise again, he was getting stiff from doing nothing all the time. _‘At least Mello’s friends are not lazy like him.’_

“Let’s see what Barbie is doing all alone.”

“Yeah, poor princess.” But Light knew Mello wasn’t properly alone.

“Princess!” Jonnie squeaked like a pig. “He’s going to kill you if he hears you.”

Light shrugged and gave her a sly smirk. “But he is one, isn’t he?”

“Absolutely.”

 

 “Come on, let’s walk home.” Jonnie put her hand on Mello’s shoulder. “You in for some training on the beach?”

“Yeah why not.” Mello knew he had to resume his exercise routine or all his efforts were futile.

"How many kilos have you dropped?"

"Five." Mello huffed.

"You should eat more and train more or you'll look like one of those androgynous models."

"Hey it's not my fault if I have a fast metabolism." The blonde snapped and slapped her upside the head.

“What sport do you do guys?” Light wanted to know.

“Krav Maga.” Jonnie informed him.

“What’s that?”

“It’s something really badass! Join us.” The sheboy giggled.

“It’s an aggressive fighting technique.” Mello explained him. “Better not, or you’d get injured.”

“Ja, Rio is better at training beginners.” Jonnie hooked her arms around Light’s and looked up to him with her big doe eyes. “But you do train a lot as well, right? Look at those muscles.” The greyhead squeezed Light’s biceps and giggled; Mello rolled his eyes. Jonnie’s compulsive flirting was even worse than his.

“Yeah I practice Yoseikan Budo and Taiho-jutsu."

“Cool!”

 

Mello and Jonnie were training on the beach in front of Mello's house. Light was sitting on the small table in a shadowy spot on the huge balcony and did some researches on his laptop, taking a glimpse from time to time what the other two were doing. He saw Mello falling in the sand a couple of times and tried to not laugh. It was funny to see how the smaller sheboy threw him on the ground with little effort.

 _‘What was that crazy guy’s name again?’_ Light typed _Beyond Birthday_ into the secure search engine. He found only a few results, most of them were police reports. Less was known about him, his heritage and birthday unclear. A psychiatric analysis declared him as dangerous individual with schizoaffective disorder and he had to be kept in solitary confinement. Light also read a blog post written by one of the so-called _BB-worshipers_ , a girl who had the pleasure to meet the _Prince of Madness_ in person. _‘Was this guy a mini Charles Manson or what?’_ She described him as attractive young man with very pale skin and huge blue eyes, which seemed to shine red in half-light. He had pitch black dyed hair and lined his eyes with dark make up. Now Light could understand why Mello seemed obsessed with B, the criminal seemed to be the exasperated and aggravated version of Mello. Light tried to remember B’s real name and searched for Benjamin Bärtzner. Male, born on April 1 st 1982 in East Berlin, German Democratic Republic. Both parents were killed at their escape attempt to West Berlin. The child was raised in an orphanage and later moved to an institute for hard to educate children. On July 18th 1996 Bärtzner was declared dead for reasons unknown.

“Jonnie you asshole!” Mello yelled and called Light’s attention back to reality.

“It’s not my fault if you’re a precious princess.” The greyhead laughed and Mello threw a handful of sand in her mouth. Jonnie spat on the ground. “You’ll pay for this!” She performed a roundhouse kick but Mello was fast enough to do a back flip and avoid Jonnie’s foot. Light raised an eyebrow as he saw the blonde gracefully landing on his feet. He kicked in Jonnie’s calves and she sacked on the ground, Mello threw on her and closed his hand around her throat.

“So, who’s the princess?”

“Let me go!” Jonnie cried out dramatically and kicked out her legs. “Leoooo my charming prince, help me!” Mello laughed and stood up, Jonnie humped on her feet and gave him a high-five. “Good job, Melli-jelly.”

“I think it’s enough for today.” Mello wiped some sweat from his forehead and undid his hair, the blonde mane waved in the soft breeze. He walked up the stairs, followed by the loud sheboy.

“Guys what are you doing tonight?”

“Woah Jo, I still have jet-lag.” Mello complained. “I think I’m going to collapse in bed early tonight.”

“Tomorrow I’ll DJing at Cassiopeia. You come too? Rio has shift there as well.”

“What music? Your own shit?"

“Nope, stuff for a gothic Barbie like you."

"Sounds fun." Mello looked at Light. “You’re in?”

“Yeah why not.” Light shrugged but had no idea what he agreed to. After he degreed at college he hadn’t many chances to have a decent social life, and he was totally in the mood to do something people of his age usually did.

“Yay! Dress sexy, ja?” The sheboy hugged them both and walked down the stairs. "Later I’ll send Rio with some ganja."

"What does she mean with sexy?" Light raised an eyebrow.

"There's a dress code."

"Well then, I've to go shopping. But I'm not going to run around like you."

 

 

Mello uncapped a beer bottle and gulped several sips. “Fuck, a chilled beer after training is almost like an orgasm.”

“Mello, you've got to listen to something.”

Mello raised an eyebrow and neared Light who was sitting at the computer desk. The fake blonde hit the play button and raised the volume.

<Near, we have to talk.> Mello recognized Halle’s voice.

<What is it? Have you finally found something regarding the notebooks?> Near’s voice was patently pissed, Mello smirked.

<Not really but somebody else is looking for them as well.>

<Who?>

<Kira.> Mello heard how something was thrown through the room.

<What are you talking about? Have you found Yagami?>

<I got a call... from Mello. He’s still alive but Kira’s men are holding him.> Halle paused. <They are looking for the notebooks and for Yagami... they tortured him to get information.>

<Are you sure it was Mello?>

<Hundred percent sure.>

There was a while of silence, Mello guessed Near was building a house of cards while reflecting on her words.

<Why did he call you?>

<I don’t know... I think they let him call me because they aren’t able to get any information out of him.>

<Or they got already everything... but why are they looking for Yagami?>

<Maybe they think he has the notebooks... or maybe they want to avenge Takada’s death.>

<When did he call you?> Near changed the topic.

<Yesterday morning. I’ve already located the call, it came from a phone booth West from Tokyo.>

<Tell Commander Rester to send his men to seek out the whole area. Every suspect has to be interrogated and then eliminated. I want Yagami alive. The manhunt is on.> Near commanded, he seemed almost pleased. Of course he was, he had a new hint now. _'But this time you're going to lose, albino sheep.'_

<What about Mello?> Near didn’t answer. <Near, we have to look for him. They kidnapped him and are->

<Who cares about Mello. We have other priorities.>

<Near, I have to contradict you. If it wasn’t for Mello, we never were able to->

<To do what?> The albino yelled. <We have been deceived anyways! Is it possible we can find neither Yagami nor the notebooks? For what I know Mello could be involved in this plan!> Mello felt anger already burning in his chest. <He has no utility anymore. Orders are to shoot him on sight.>

<But Near...>

<I hoped to get rid of him and his pet friend, they were a thorn in the flesh. Is Matt dead at least, are we sure about that?> Light observed Mello's face, he was pale like a ghost.

<Yes.>

<Good. Without him Mello is lost anyways.> Near paused. <We’re done here.>

 

 

Mello was standing motionless and his face was frozen. He emptied the beer and put the bottle on the desk, his knuckles turned white before he threw the bottle against the wall, breaking it in countless pieces.

“Mello, why don’t you put an end to this? Why don’t you tell me his name? I’ll write it in the notebook and anything will be over.” Light stood up and put his hand on the blonde’s shoulder.

“I don’t want his name in the notebook.” Mello whispered and turned to Light, his icy eyes sparked, Light almost shivered at the sight of Mello’s freezing glance. “I want to make him suffer.” He hissed like a snake.

“Everything can happen through the notebook.” Light stepped closer to Mello until he felt his warm breath against his lips. He tried to lure him into his trap, he wanted his kingdom finally to come. But Light began to suspect Mello didn't know Near's real name and used it as excuse to save his own ass.

“I want him to suffer by _my_ hand.”

 _‘How cruel can you be, Mello?’_ It was legit, after all. Near had caused problems to both of them but none have suffered as much as Mello, his loss was irremediable. “What do you want to do to him?”

“I want to pluck out his eyes.” _‘The pale eyes of a coward.’_ “I want to rip out his tongue.” ‘ _The venomous tongue of betrayal.’_

Something about Mello’s nasty intentions aroused Light, he cupped the back of his head and crashed their lips together. Mello deepened their kiss while Light lifted his slender hips on the desk and stepped between Mello’s legs.

“I want to tear off his scalp.” Light grabbed a fistful of hair and yanked unkindly, Mello groaned in response. “I want to skin him alive.” The blonde almost moaned and Light stripped them both from their shirts. Light licked Mello’s breastbone and clavicles, tasted the sweet sweat mixed with sand and salt on his soft skin, bit down sharp on Mello’s shoulder.

“What else?” Light whispered in his ear, nuzzled at his jaw line. “What do you want to do to him?” He tugged Mello’s hair again and forced him into a sloppy kiss, it was all teeth and saliva.

“I want to deface his whole body.” Mello’s fingernails scratched Light’s skin from the pectorals down the whole muscular abdomen, leaving deep red marks and torn skin behind.

Light grabbed Mello’s ass and grinded their hips together, they were both hard and ready. “Don’t stop.” He freed Mello’s legs from the sweats and lowered his own pants to the knees, spat in his hand and coated his throbbing cock with saliva. Mello gasped as he felt Light’s tip rubbing against his entrance.

“I want to impale him.” And Light impaled Mello on his cock, he entered him slowly but with a firm move. Mello leaned on his elbows, threw his head back and groaned loud. It hurt a little, he wasn’t prepared properly but it didn’t matter, not now. He needed to feel the thrill of pain as burning skin mixed with scratching sand moved into him. Mello felt arms closing around his waist and warm lips pressing on his chest, the pulsing cock in him began to move. “I want to watch him die while he cries for mercy.” Mello raised his head and met Light’s amber eyes, eyes that sparked like burning stars.

Light grasped Mello’s hipbones and began to thrust rough into him. “I want to hang him.” Mello growled and Light closed his fingers around his neck making it difficult for him to breathe. Mello was a mess of sweat, sand and sticky hair, his face was red from the air loss but hooked his legs around Light's hips to drive him deeper into him. Light let go Mello's throat and pushed his thumb in his mouth, felt the blonde's pierced tongue.

“I want to burn him alive.” Light’s shaft pounded into Mello, their eyes still locking each other. “I want to crucify him.” Light closed his fingers around Mello’s cock, smeared precum all over his length, rubbed him fast and hard. “I want to see him agonize to death for days.” Mello panted and gasped, he felt it coming. “I want to carve Matt’s name on his forehead and execute him in front of a mirror!” He bit down hard on his own lower lip. Fuck, he was so close.

“You want to do it with me, Mello?” Light shoved his cock deep into the blonde and made him cry out loud. “You want Kira by your side?”

“Yes...” Mello panted, out of breath. “I want Near to watch us fuck while he’s dying.” Mello came, released his full load on his own stomach.

Light felt how the blonde’s insides clenched around his swollen cock and came too. His hand ran through Mello’s sperm and smeared it all over his face, forced his fingers in Mello’s mouth. Mello licked his own release, Light lowered and kissed cum, saliva and sweat, but he didn’t care. This was the taste of Mello’s vengeance and it tasted damn _good_.

 

 

“Mello... why do you refuse to use the notebook?” They both were still there, trying to take back from the intense session.

Mello brushed his bangs back. “Because my life’s already a mess... I’m a mess... I’m responsible for my boyfriend’s death, I changed my side to my former archenemy, I’m literally fucking with Kira.” Mello paused and sighed, leaned his forehead on Light's chest. “You know, it’s like in Lord of the Rings... when Gandalf refused to carry the ring because it was too much of a burden for him."

Light frowned. _'What the hell is he talking about?'_

"I’m weak, Light. I’m not like you... if I had the notebook, I’d make a disaster.”

“Why do you say you’re weak?” Light gently caressed Mello’s scarred cheek and raised his face to meet his eyes.

“I can’t control myself like you... You’re not writing names in the notebook for two weeks. I wouldn’t be able... I already felt the corrupting energy as soon as I touched it.”

Light shook his head. “But why did you want it, then? Why did you blackmail the Task Force to get the notebook?”

“It was to get Near and the SPK out of my way and to tame Kira... but I swear...” The blonde kissed his rosary. “I never used it. Never.”

“Why are you so afraid?” Light did not expect Mello to have so much common sense, it was indeed better he didn’t use the notebook. He would go out of control easily and then any attempts to cage him were effortless.

“Because I know I would do more harm than good.” Mello broke out in tears, aware of the disaster of person he was.

“You have a gentle heart.”

“You mean wea-“

Light interrupted Mello by kissing him deeply. He still tasted of cum and sweat but it didn’t matter. Mello closed his arms around Light’s waist and pulled him closer.

“Why did you offer me one of the notebooks?” Mello’s nose traced over Light’s collarbones, smelled his skin.

“You asked me to trust you. And what better way to show it to you than offer you to be my equal?” _‘And fortunately it didn’t go that way... otherwise I had to come up with another plan. But no, you’re more useful to me if you’re alive. Maybe you're even wiser than you think.’_

“Do you trust me so much? To give me one of the notebooks?”

 _‘No.'_ “Yes.” Light lied. “If you want to have it, the offer still stands.” _‘You wouldn’t.’_

Mello shook his head. Matt died because of these tools of evil. He wouldn’t use them. He didn’t need to, it was Light who had to soil his hands. Light lowered and met his lips for another kiss.

“You know what, it’s true you’re a mess.” Mello shot him a bad glance. “You should take a shower.” Light smirked and his finger traced the drying cum left on Mello’s tattooed stomach.

“Well you can join me.” Mello smirked and pulled the golden metal stud between his teeth.

“I’m not dirty.”

Mello licked over the burning scratches on Light’s chest. “It was no question.” The blonde purred and Light melted into another kiss with him. Georgios was right, Mello was insatiable.

 

\---

 

“I still not understand... what did you mean you and Halle are close?” Mello shrugged but didn’t answer and continued to hang out the laundry. “Hey Cinderella. I’m talking to you.”

“Yeah I know.”

Light rolled his eyes. “If I wouldn’t know you better I thought you had sex with her.”

“Yep, I fucked her.” Mello stated nonchalantly.

“But... are you not... gay? And were you not with Matt?” Light raised an eyebrow and tried to be as less offensive as possible.

“Yeah and?” Mello bent down to pick up some shirts from the laundry basket. Light couldn’t avoid staring at the blonde’s ass clothed in _very_ short shorts, his eyes followed his naked legs downwards. Light sucked his lower lip in as he looked at his bare feet, he definitely had a weak spot for that part of Mello's body.

“But... did Matt know about it?”

“Of course he did!” Mello threw a clothespin at him. “We had no secrets.”

“And he let you do it?” Light widened his eyes incredulously. _‘What disturbed people are they?’_

“Matt wasn’t jealous.” Mello huffed. _‘Matt was so much a better human than me.’_ “Come on, Yagami, don’t be so prude.”

“It has nothing to do with being prude. When you’re in a relationship you don’t simply fuck with other people.”

Mello shot Light an annoyed glance. "First, I have a past as hooker." The blonde bent forwards to hang Light's pants on the clothesline, he arched his back and his ass caught Light's attention once more. “And second, if I remember correctly, you fucked with Takada while you were with Amane. The only difference between us is that I was sincere with Matt and you weren’t with your fiancé.”

“It was...” Light wanted to contradict Mello but thought about his words. “Touché.” Mello chuckled and winked at him.

“We’re not so different, Yagami-gay.” Ryuk giggled behind them and Mello tried to ignore the shinigami.

“But how...” Light tried to find the right words. “I mean if you’re gay how you were able to...”

“It’s called _sexual enhancement supplement_ , babe-y. Ever heard of it?”

“Yeah, alright.”

Ryuk was too entertained by that strange topic. “Enhancers? Is that the secret of your stamina, pretty boy?” Ryuk chuckled and made two backflips, his tongue hung out and he was drooling. Maybe Light had given him too many apples that day.

“Ryuk! Quit it.” Light reprehended the shinigami. Mello hung the last shirt on the clothesline and entered the flat, followed by Light and Ryuk. The blonde put the basket back in the bathroom and walked to the kitchen counter, hitting the power button of the espresso machine.

“Coffee?”

“Why not.” Light sat on the cushions in front of the TV. Mello served the coffee and sat down next to Light. “You’re a sexy housewife, do you know that?”

The blonde smirked. “Well it’s not the way I would describe myself, but I suppose it's a compliment.”

Light pulled him in for a soft kiss, Mello melted in it. As they parted their lips, Mello leaned his forehead on Light’s, his cheeks were slightly flushed. He was so cute when he kissed Light's thumb while he was tracing his lower lip.

“At least you’re useful for something.” Ryuk giggled and flew circles around them, causing Mello to get nervous.

“You have no business being here.” Mello snarled.

“Oh yes, I do.”

Mello gave him his middle finger and licked it slowly, his lips told him a silent _fuck you_.

“Light, tell to your minion to stand down or he’s going to get a slap from a shinigami.”

“You can slap my dick with your tongue!” Mello spat at the annoying monster.

 

 

Ryuk flew around the house, bored and annoyed about how much Light's attitude had changed towards him since Mello entered their lives. At least the blonde was going to do something entertaining, he was sure about that.

Georgios ran up the stairs holding a small paper bag in his hand. He was about to knock at the door but a strange sensation hit him. Through the window he could notice something moving on the floor in front of the TV. The Greek walked around the corner along the balcony and stood in front of the huge window showing him something he hoped to not see.

He recognized Mello’s tattooed legs around the other man’s waist, the Japanese was bent over him and they were kissing and touching each other. Georgios was glad Light was back facing him and covering Mello’s face from his sight. As Georgios was about to walk away, the Japanese sat up and took off his shirt. Mello’s hand grabbed his hair and pulled him down, the blonde closed his arms around Light’s neck.

Ryuk appeared behind Georgios and overlaid him like a shadow. The shinigami chuckled and the Greek balled his hands into fists. He swallowed his anger and walked away.

 

\---

 

“Light Light Light Light Light.” Ryuk flew in circles through the room calling non-stop Light’s name. The apple withdrawal was worse than ever, Light had definitely exaggerated with the dosing the day before.

Mello was still lying lazy in bed, he tried to ignore the shinigami but Ryuk continued to annoy them both. “Damn fuck you ugly stupid piece of shit, are you done making noise in the morning?” Mello yelled and threw a pillow against the shinigami, but it passed through Ryuk’s immaterial body and missed Light for little.

“Hey blondie, watch out!” Light complained. “I’m making you coffee and you attack me!”

“It’s Ryuk’s fault! It had to hit him but he turned invisible.” Ryuk chuckled cattily and showed him his tongue, Mello gave him his middle finger.

“Mello ignore him.” Light handed him a cup of coffee. “How is it?” It was Light’s first attempt to use an espresso machine.

“It’s good. Could be a bit stronger but not bad for a first try.”

“At what time is the mass?”

Mello grabbed Light’s left arm and checked his watch. “Your time is still set on JST.” Light’s heart skipped and he took his hand away.

“Yeah I know.”

Mello raised an eyebrow and shook his head. “At 10 o’clock.”

“Is one hour enough for princess to get ready or do you need more time?” Mello took another pillow and hit Light straight in his face.

 

 

Mello and Light were dressed formally, it was the first time Light has seen the blonde with a shirt and elegant skinny trousers. Mello literally screamed _mafia_ dressed like that, he really looked like one of those Russian Mafiosi from the movies. Light instead, felt finally a bit more like himself, he missed wearing a suit.

Light observed the whole Christian rite with interest, he could now understand why it was the world’s largest religion and why Mello’s lost soul tried to find solace in this belief. The Catholic mass, its choirs, the smokes of incense, it all had something mystical, almost magical. If Kira ever had a cult, Light wanted it to be something similar to this. Just the dead man on the cross disturbed him a little. _‘When I die... will my worshipers idolize me like him?’_

Light tried to ask Mello a couple of things but the blonde reprehended him and told him to be quiet. The former brunette looked around, most people weren’t even paying attention to what the priest was lecturing. Only Mello and the old ladies in the first rows were hanging at the priest’s lips. Light listened carefully at the words preached by the cleric and became conscious that it was _him_ the so-called Revelation taught about.

_He will come again in his glory to judge the living and the dead, and his kingdom will have no end... for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come._

_‘World to come...’_ Light remembered that the second venue of the Messiah was described to be happening _like a flash of_ _lightning_. It couldn’t be a coincidence his given name meant _light_ in English and, as Mello told him once, Kira meant _lord_ in Greek and _ruler_ in Russian. There were no coincidences, he _was_ the chosen one. The former brunette looked at Mello who was kneeling and praying, his eyes were closed and he held the rosary tightly in his folded hands. Why didn’t the stubborn blonde recognize him as the new messiah?

 

**February 14 th 2009**

 

Mello was deeply touched, baptisms always had this effect on him. He never cared much about the other sacraments but welcoming another soul in God’s grace was something that made him happy.

That day Matt was beautiful, he was wearing a white shirt with a tie and black elegant pants. The redhead had complained the whole morning about it but Mello was irremissible. Matt had to dress up properly for his baptism.

“Mells, I need a smoke.” Matt groaned as soon as the rite was over.

“How do you feel?” Mello was excited, he was happy Matt was finally a real child of God but the redhead yawned.

“Bored.”

Mello rolled his eyes; Matt was always the same. “Go to smoke, I have to confess to the priest.”

 

Mello was kneeling in the confessional cabinet and praying to atone for his sins.

“Oi Mells, still here?” Matt opened the curtain and stepped in the cabinet. “They’re all gone, what are you doing?”

“Praying.”

Matt pulled the blonde up and kissed him. “Matt, not here.”

“Why? Do you believe our love is a sin?” The redhead backed Mello against the wooden wall and kissed him again.

Mello’s eyes became shiny. “No.” How could something so pure be wrong?

“Good.” Matt’s lips curled into a smirk. “After baptism there’s the first communion, right?” He kissed the blonde’s neck and smelled his expensive perfume. Everything on Mello screamed money and sex, but these were not the reasons why Matt loved him.

“Y-yes?” The redhead unbuckled Mello’s belt and unzipped his pants, they fell to his feet almost without effort. God bless Mello’s aversion to underwear. “So I guess it’s communion time.” Matt touched him, he was almost hard already. The redhead lowered on his knees and licked the small drop of precum from the tip. Matt sucked at his head, Mello felt how the piercing through Matt’s lower lip hit his own. It was Matt’s favourite game, he loved the jewel through the hole of Mello’s cock, it was entertaining and arousing him at the same time.

The blonde panted softly and, as the redhead sucked him in, he couldn’t control himself. “Oh my fucking God!” He hissed and crossed himself immediately. _‘Mother, forgive my sins...’_ Mello folded his hands around the rosary. _‘But we are not committing sin... how can this be immoral?’_

Matt licked him, sucked him, his fingers squeezed Mello’s ass. The blonde stood there, eyes closed and folded hands resting against his forehead.

“Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis. Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis. Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, dona nobis pacem.” Mello whispered and felt how his orgasm was building up, he felt like set on fire, his chest and his loins were burning. And then he came, finally giving Matt his awaited communion.

 

\---

 

The mass was over and Mello needed a talk with the priest to arrange Matt’s requiem and to confess his sins to get absolution.

 _‘What nonsense.’_ Light thought as he observed how the blonde disappeared behind a heavy curtain.

 

Mello knelt and confessed his sins and misdeeds much to Father Juan’s displeasure. The old priest arrived last year at Our Lady of Malibu Catholic Church and was a conservationist, on contrary to the younger and progressive precursor. Mello didn’t like Father Juan but he was his priest and he had to respect him. The cleric had told him often enough that sodomy was not contemplated in their belief. Mello had to pray ten Rosaries for seven days to purify his rotten soul. Father Juan treated him like a diseased, as if being homosexual was worse than murder or theft. Sometimes Mello wished Don Marco was there with him. The young Italian priest who had baptized him was more comprehensive than this old stubborn Hispanic. Don Marco also was the only one who believed Mello when he told him he _saw_ the Archangel.

 

“Mello.” Light whispered and stepped in the small cabinet. The blonde was kneeling and praying, his eyes were red and swollen from crying. “What’s wrong?” Light closed the curtain and knelt next to Mello. _‘Is he crying again because of Matt?’_

“The stupid priest treats me like shit because I’m a fucking _sodomite_.” Mello’s voice was angry. _‘I’m sure the old pig jerks off while thinking at me sucking his wrinkled old cock.’_

 _‘So it’s because of that.’_ Light knew homosexuality was not allowed in Christian religion but he wasn’t aware of how many prejudices Mello had to face because of this.

“Being like you... it’s not a sin against Kira.” Light whispered in his hair, then he pulled the blonde up and pushed his face against the grid. He undid Mello’s pants and they lowered on their own from his hips. Light licked along the spine on the back of Mello’s neck, the blonde was getting goose bumps. Light unbuckled his belt and lowered pants and boxer shorts; he pressed the blonde against the grid, pinned both hands over his head and rubbed his cock against Mello’s ass to harden.

“Oh my God...” Mello whispered and it was like a déjà-vu, it wasn’t the first time he had sex in a confessional, Matt required it as payment when he joined him for the Sunday mass.

“The only god here is Kira.” Light purred in Mello’s ear and spat in his hand. Mello moaned softly when Light rubbed his cock against his entrance. “Tell me the ten commandments.” Light demanded while pulling a handful of blonde hair.

“I am...” Mello was already panting hard. “I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.”

“I am Kira, thy Lord and Highness, God of the New World....” Light grabbed Mello’s hips and positioned himself in front of his entrance. “... which have brought thee out of darkness and injustice.” Light hissed in Mello’s ear and shoved his cock slowly into him until he was fully sheathed.

“Thou shalt have no other gods before me.” Light began to thrust into Mello. “Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.” Light undid his tie and wrapped it around Mello’s neck, pulled slightly. “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.” Mello felt how the soft silk tightened around his throat. “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Honour thy father and thy mother.” Mello tried to speak without gasping too loud. “Thou shalt not kill.” Light yanked the tie, Mello whimpered but felt his throat free again. He took a deep breath and continued to list the other commandments while Light’s thrusts got deeper, as if to scourge Mello’s flesh and purify his soul.

 

“Which commandments have you broken?”

“All of them but adultery and idolatry[1].”

“Kira forgives you.” Light closed his hand around Mello’s; the blonde opened his fingers and laced them with Light’s. “Because Kira is merciful.” Light murmured in his hair and smelled its scent. “Do you feel my mercy?” A deep thrust made Mello almost whine out loud.

“Yes.”

“Pray with me.” Light whispered in Mello’s ear, his tongue traced it slowly. “Kira, thy Lord and Highness, God of the New World.” Light began to say his own prayer.

“Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is...” Mello continued the prayer while Light continued to fuck him.

“Like in thy soul. Give us this day our daily mercy...”

“And forgive us for our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.” Light’s hand squeezed Mello’s, he felt thrilled at the fact that Mello was praising _him_. Light’s moves became faster, harder; he pounded into the blonde with no mercy. “For thine is the kingdom... and the power... and the glory... for ever and ever.” The blonde panted hard, while Light was slamming his cock into him, making Mello atone for his sins.

“Amen.” Light growled lowly in Mello’s hair and came into the blonde. He took a couple of moments to regain his breath and closed his hand around Mello’s swollen and dribbling cock.

“Kýrie, eléison...” The blonde whispered while holding the rosary. “Kýrie, eléison...” He leaned his head back on Light’s shoulder and closed his eyes. “Gospodine, smiluj se...” He whispered and released in Light’s hand. His divine will was done.

 

 ---

 

“Let’s go shopping.” Mello proposed while changing his clothes.

“How was the mass? Did you bring me an apple?” The shinigami was making awkward moves, Mello frowned at the sight of Ryuk having serious withdrawal.

“That’s not your fucking business.” The blonde hissed at Ryuk.

“I was bored. Why couldn’t I join you two?”

“Because you cannot enter the House of the Lord.” Mello snapped and Ryuk flew towards him, levitating upside down. “Fuck off, you ugly shit.”

“Tell your lackey to have more respect for a god of death.” Ryuk chuckled. “Or do you want to see your name in my notebook?”

“I’m not his fucking lackey!”

Light rolled his eyes, he didn’t have patience for them two bickering all the time. “Guys, quit it! I’m sick of you two! We are working together if you like it or not.” He yelled at them both. “So now either of you is going to say to something nice to the other. Or _you_ will get no apples for a whole week.” Light pointed at the shinigami. “And _you_ are under house arrest. No party tonight!” He menaced the blonde.

“What?” Mello’s eyes widened in disbelief. “You evil!”

Light crossed his arms, firm in his decision. “I’m waiting.”

“I have no problem with you, pretty boy.” Ryuk stood next to Mello and tried to be serious. “As long as you don’t insult me. I do even like your music.”

Both of them stared at Mello, he crossed his arms and felt uncomfortable. “What?” Mello rolled his eyes. “Fine... I like how you dress. Real men wear tight leather pants.”

“That’s right.” Ryuk chuckled.

“I can put on some music for you.”

Light observed how Ryuk and the blonde chose a CD from who knows what band and put it in the player. He didn’t even bother to pay attention to the name, they sounded all the same anyway. A shiver ran along Light’s spine. Was it really a good idea to get the two to get along? 

“Yeah!” The blonde played air guitar and banged his head for a good minute. He jumped in Light’s arms but the taller lost balance and they both fell on the floor.

“I thought you wanted to go shopping.”

“Yea I’m ready. Hey Raito, you owe me something.” The blonde smirked and played with the jewel in his tongue.

“What is it now?”

“You left my Bordeaux velvet Doc Martens in Tokyo. They were a limited edition, you know. Oh and my Versace leather vest, too. That piece enhanced my sexiness like anything else.”

Light touched the tip of Mello’s nose. “I’m sure we’re going to find something sexy for you, princess.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

[1] Mello slept with Halle for convenience during his relationship with Matt but they didn’t see it as “adultery”. And like every good Catholic, Mello sins of idolatry but he doesn’t know it)

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drawing by me, JK_иконоборец  
> Light's eye + Mel's halo and rosary are coloured with 18K gold paint (it's not visible here but I'll put some details on insta)
> 
> \---
> 
> About Light and the Messiah topic:  
> Light is of course not Christian and doesn't know much about the whole stuff. He never read the full Revelation (just some excerpts) so he's missing the part where is written that the Messiah will NOT return to earth during his 'second venue', but the false prophet (Antichrist) will claim to be him and lead people astray.
> 
> "[...]For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect – if that were possible."
> 
> Say hello to Light's Messiah Complex!
> 
> Of course I was listening to Kyrie from the Death Note OST while writing the smut scene in the church. Just saying)  
> \---
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading! (Kira hiatus is over soon)


	15. Nightlife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Light survive plots, drugs and nightlife?  
> Seems like everyone is having a good time exept for one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Wenn du dich mit dem Teufel einlässt verändert sich nicht der Teufel, der Teufel verändert dich…"
> 
> If you dance with the devil, the devil don’t change / quote from the movie 8mm. it’s also in the song “Snuff Machinery” from SITD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdl-V7GFKFI
> 
> As for the music I choose a random Industrial mix by Dark Modulator like i.e.  
> Blood on the dancefloor 2003-2013  
> https://youtu.be/lsnVgHxunio
> 
> or Industrial Megamix 2012  
> https://youtu.be/c0WActw9OpI
> 
> \---
> 
> About the flashback:  
> Both Matt and Mello like to roleplay, all the words said during their intercourse are NOT meant in any way seriously. They don't like racist and religious prejudices, they're a couple and love each other deeply, it's just a kink for them call each other in those ways and to fake morally wrong situations.  
> And on contrary to the affair he's having with Light, Mello was the dominant part in the relationship he had with Matt.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Light was taking a shower and Mello switched on his laptop. He opened the encrypted mail server and typed the short text. _Sasha here. Click the link below and download the program. It’s an encrypted IM application. Talk to you soon._ He closed the server and opened YouTube to look for some guitar tabs.

Mello was sitting on the comfy cushions and strummed his guitar, trying to learn a new song. An icon popped up on the lower corner of the laptop screen.

zolpidem87: _you on?_

Mello’s heart skipped for a second. He didn’t expect such a fast response. _‘What time is it now in Tokyo?’_ He reached for the chocolate bar, snapped off a piece and sucked at the sweet.

m-Queen: _yes_

zolpidem87: _how are you?_

m-Queen: _fine. listen I don’t have much time_

zolpidem87: _last time you wanted to tell me something about you_

m-Queen: _right. ive been a hooker since i was 15. i killed some people. i was in the mafia. I even blackmailed the us president and almost provoked ww3_

While writing Mello realised that it didn’t sound _that_ worse in his head, but reading all his deeds made him aware he had not been really a nice boy. Father Juan was going to need lots of patience with him and his future confessions. _‘Screw that old fucker. Maybe he’ll have a stroke because of that.’_ Mello giggled at the thought.

zolpidem87: _very colourful past_

zolpidem87: _but i know you’re not as bad as you seem_

m-Queen: _listen what do you think about kira_

zolpidem87: _thats difficult to explain_

m-Queen: _just be straight, wont judge_

zolpidem87: _im not against kira. i do even think they're doing a good work pity i would end straight on their list. but i actually support kira. the world is rotten and theres too much evil people out there_

Mello smirked, he knew it was a good idea to maintain contact with the Kazakh.

m-Queen: _the person you loved was killed by the russian mafia right_

zolpidem87: _you guessed it_

m-Queen: _if kira would forgive your wrongdoings would you join them_

m-Queen: _kira can avenge his death and kill the responsible_

zolpidem87: _how do you know_

m-Queen: _i know_

m-Queen: _i work for kira. they forgave my mistakes_

Zhandos did not answer for a minute or two and Mello was getting nervous. _‘Come on, come on.’_ He hoped Light would not come out the bathroom at this moment.

zolpidem87: _what does kira want me to do and whats in for me_

Mello explained him that Kira needed a person who acted as outpost in Japan and Zhandos agreed. Mello made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.

m-Queen: _gotta go now_

m-Queen: _ill contact you in a few days, gimme time to talk to kira_

zolpidem87: _talk to you soon_

m-Queen: _cant wait to see you again_

Mello smirked, a cheesy line always had its impact.

zolpidem87: _me too. bye_

 

\---

 

It took Mello more than one hour to get ready and dressed for the night. Light raised an eyebrow as the blonde left the bathroom. He was wearing a black cut-out crop top with the front print _Luxus Luder_ _ **[1]**_ and skin-tight, extremely low-waisted black latex leggings that left _nothing_ to imagination. Mello was putting on a pair of knee-high black and red platform boots and as Light met his eyes, he noticed the blonde had lined them with black make-up.

“What?” Mello snapped as he saw Light’s disappointed face.

“You’re not going out like _this_?” Mello’s showy outfit was too much for Light’s, he already felt overdressed in his new clothes. Mello persuaded him to buy tight black tripp pants, Light felt uncomfortable wearing something like this, but he had to admit, the bondage straps attached to the pants screamed _dominator_. Light was amused as he found a tank top with _I fuck for Kira_ printed in crimson on the front. Light and Mello agreed he should wear it that night.

“Of course!” _‘Light and his fucking bigot vision of the world.’_ Mello used to wear latex or leather uniforms, and to lead Matt on a leash when they were out clubbing but that was probably too much for Light. “Why are you so thick-headed? You come from one of the most modern cities in the world!” Mello stepped in front of Light and put his hands on his hips. “Tokyo is the capital of visual kei and you ex fiancé is a gothic Lolita. So, why are you such an asshole?”

Light smelled Mello’s perfume, the fragrance was warm, spicy and very intense; it suited him well. “Are you even wearing underwear?”

The black make-up around Mello’s eyes deepened their glance and made them seem even lighter. “Hell no!” The blonde put some money, all the smoking stuff and a false ID in the small leather pouch and strapped it around his hips.

 

“Where’s the club?”

“In Downtown.”

“We go by car?”

“Nope. We take a cab, I’m not going to drive drunk.” Mello and Light left the flat and the blonde locked the door.

“I can stay sober and drive us home.”

“You’re not going to drive my girl. And no, you and I are going to party tonight, I want to have fucking fun.”

 

\---

 

Mello walked past the line in front of the club entrance. “Do you have a VIP pass?”

The blonde shrugged but didn’t answer. “He’s with me.” He pointed at Light and the bouncer let them in.

“Hola chico, cómo estás?” The Hispanic bartender welcomed Mello and observed Light with curiosity.

“Hola, todo bien. Te presento a mi amigo Leo.” Mello answered in fluent Spanish. Light liked that language and Mello’s slight Russian accent made it sound even sexier. “This is Diego, a friend of Rio's.”

“Dónde está El Loco?” Mello was not in the mood to explain what happened to Matt, so he simply decided to tell Diego he and Matt broke up. Nobody would ask details about a recent breakup and it was more than understandable if Mello ran around with a copy of his ex-boyfriend. “Lo siento mucho. Qué bebes?”

“Dos cervezas. Para mi la usual.”

“Sasha!” Mello turned and greeted a tall blonde guy, patently of Slavic origins. They talked something in Russian probably, then the tall one left them and walked downstairs.

Mello reached for his beer and turned to Light. “What is that?” He pointed to the bottle.

“Beer?”

“No, Corona is not beer. That’s piss. And only pussies drink fucking piss.”

“But-“

“ _This_ is beer.” Mello held his glass to Light and the fake blonde took a sip. The younger one was right, it had a fuller and rounder taste. Mello gestured to Diego to serve Light the same beer. The former brunette read _Leffe Blonde_ on the tap and was pretty sure it was European brew.

“A lot of people seem to know you here.”

“I’m a minor investor of this place. And the main reason why they keep European beer and spirits here. Oh, by the way, all your drinks are on my tab.”

_‘A minor investor?’_ Light frowned. “Are you allowed to drink legally in the US? You’re only twenty.”

“Well, my ID says I’m twenty-five.” Mello winked at Light. “If you wanted to play cop you could have worn a uniform. That would’ve been fucking hot.” Mello took his hand and Light followed the blonde downstairs to the actual nightclub. It was dark, only white and blue lights flashed following the rhythm of music. Heavy electronic beats were blasting loud and Light felt the vibration in his stomach. A lot of people were dancing, drinking and making out everywhere, some caged go-go dancers entertained the crowd. Most people were dressed even worse than Mello, wearing mainly black or red clothing, some were dressed in white, some in uniforms or SM gear, other ones wore neon clothes, gas masks and goggles. Everything in underground nightclub screamed sex and perdition.

Jonnie was behind the DJ console, waved at them and sent Light an air kiss. She typed something on the laptop and caught the pair at the bar. She was dressed in black as well, wearing extremely short hot pants, fishnet stockings and boots similar to Mello’s. Her hair was loose and heavy black make-up framed her hazel eyes. She looked somehow like a girl, Light still wondered how the blonde Catholic felt comfortable in a mixed lot like this but Mello wasn’t properly a conservative person.

“You look sooo good tonight.” Jonnie blinked with her big doe eyes and her fingers traced over Light’s muscular chest. “But my Melli-jelly is the sexiest in here.” She slapped Mello’s ass and the blonde hit her hand away.

“Of course!” Mello snapped at the sheboy.

Georgios filled four shot glasses with different spirits and each one emptied his own. “Okay guys, gotta work. Have fun, ja?”

 

\---

 

“Jo, hast ne Minute?” The sheboy gestured Mello to wait and added some songs to the queue. Jonnie left the console and jumped on the dance floor next to Mello. She took out a small strip of multi-coloured paper and ripped two blotters. “No, don’t trip now, I need to talk to you.” Jonnie frowned and the blonde put his arms around her waist. “Tanz mit mir.”[2] Mello whispered and pulled her closer.

“Are you stupid?”

“Do as I tell you, and pretend to flirt with me.” Jonnie wrapped her hands around Mello’s neck.

“Is it because of Leo?” Jonnie asked him in German brushing her lips on his ear. “Is he L?”

“He is L… and he is Kira.”

Jonnie froze but Mello swayed his hips and forced her to follow his moves. “Did Matt die because of him?”

“No, Jonnie-boy. He died because of N…” Mello sighed and told her the story of Matt’s death.

“But why… why is Kira here with you? Are you on his side now?”

Mello shook his head. “I’d rather say he’s on _my_ side. For now.” Mello felt Jonnie’s hands on his ass and glared at her. “I want to avenge Matt’s death. Kira will serve my purpose. And I need your and Rio’s help.”

Jonnie’s hazel eyes fixed Mello’s coldly. There it was, the little conspiring monster in her. “Everything for Matti. What do you need us to do?”

Mello’s eyes found Light standing at the bar and looking at him. He was carefully observing what he was doing, Mello knew that exactly. The blonde cupped the back of Jonnie’s head and pulled her closer. “Matt deleted all the data files on his laptop before our last mission, but he made a secure backup in a cloud. I want them all and I want everything regarding N and L. His real name is Light Yagami.”

“Light? Like the cottage cheese I eat for breakfast?”

“Jo, can you be serious for once?”

“That’ll cost you a lot, Melli.” The sheboy smirked.

“Nothing is too much for Matt. Talk to Rio. I need you two at work as soon as possible.” Jonnie was about to walk away but Mello reached for her hand. “Gimme two trippies. And some nose candy.”

 

“What were they saying?”

“Couldn’t understand a word, the music’s too loud.” Ryuk made a back flip and chuckled.

Light crossed his arms as Mello walked towards him, swinging his sexy ass like a needy whore. Why was he dressed like that? Light wanted to fuck him on the counter, right _now_. “You really have no boundaries. Flirting with your friend on the dance floor… are you trying to make me jealous?”

Mello nodded and pulled the metal stud between his teeth. “I just want your lord and highness to dance with me.”

Light raised an eyebrow. _‘If we dance I’ll fuck you straight on the dance floor.’_

“I was just buying coke from her.” Mello whispered in his ear, his lips brushed slightly his cheek. “Drink?” Mello called for Georgios. “Screwdriver with Russkij Standart and Tanqueray gin tonic.” The Greek nodded and mixed their long drinks. Mello offered the gin tonic to Light. “Here, have something decent.”

Mello led Light to the dance floor and started dancing. He pulled Light close and tried to bring him to dance with him.

“How’s the drink?”

“Strong.” Light took another sip. “But good.”

“Come on, man. You’re so stiff, you look like you’ve a stick up your ass.” Mello turned back facing him and rubbed his hips against Light. The taller one grabbed his hipbones and held him closer.

“Let’s snuff some coke.” Light purred in Mello’s ear.

“I’ve something better.”

Light raised an eyebrow. “So?”

Mello smirked maliciously and ripped a blotter, put it on his tongue. He pulled Light by his shirt and his tongue slipped into his mouth. “Don’t swallow.”

“What’s this?” Light felt something similar to paper in his mouth.

The blonde put the other piece of acid on his tongue. He grinned when he recognized the beginning song. “Wenn du dich mit dem Teufel einlässt verändert sich nicht der Teufel, der Teufel verändert dich…“. He repeated the words from the song; it was perfect, it seemed like Jonnie had put it on intentionally.

“What?” Mello put his arms around Light and began to dance, Light felt how reality was slowly distorting and followed Mello’s moves.

 

 

“I’m taking a drink. You too?” Light shook his head and Mello walked to the bar.

Georgios approached him while shaking a cocktail. “Vodka?”

“Double.” Georgios nodded and served the cocktail to the other costumer. He reached for the chilled vodka bottle and filled a small tumbler glass with and elegant move. “Jo needs to talk to you.”

“Za zdarovje!” Mello heard a voice from behind, the tall Russian leaned his elbow on the counter. “I take the same.”

 

Light observed Mello talking and flirting with the other Russian guy.

“Seems like your Barbie boy dropped you for someone else.” Ryuk chuckled behind him.

A blonde neared Light and danced towards him. “You’re a Kiranian as well!” Light looked at the blonde, wondering if it was Mello. But no, it couldn’t be, she was female. She had boobs as Light could ascertain when she pointed at her own shirt. _I fuck for Kira_.

Light grinned, another Kira follower. A couple of people had already showed their appreciation to his tank top while he was dancing. Light pulled her close, danced with her. Her hands ran over his chest, his hands traced over her back, squeezed her ass. _‘She looks like Misa... or Mello... or both. Oh, shit.’_ Another pair of hands touched him from behind. Light turned and his eyes found another Mello-Misa. _‘Am I dreaming or is this real?’_

 

Mello looked at Light who was taking his delight with two girls. “Hey Vitalij, wanna dance?”

The Russian widened his eyes. “Of course!” Mello led him by his hand to the dance floor. “Where’s Loco?”

“We broke up.” Mello found a spot close to Light and wrapped his arms around Vitalij’s neck.

“Seriously? You two were a dream couple! What happened?”

“He met someone else in Japan.” Mello said dryly and swung his hips. _‘Forgive me, Matt.’_

“Does that mean you’re back on the market?”

“Sort of.” Mello smirked and pulled the piercing through his teeth. Vitalij had a sort crush on Mello since ever, no wonder he was literally melting in front of him now.

 

Light danced, felt hands, heat; the music was loud, Mello’s sexy ass shook in rhythm with the beats. Light couldn’t take his eyes from the latex clad backside. He felt rapturous, everything was amplified, vivid and colourful, it was the effect of Mello’s drug for sure. Light felt good indeed but was also scared, he had no control over himself. He needed to focus more on his surroundings.

He left the two Misa clones and reached for Mello’s hand. The blonde turned, smiled, his pupils were dilated, his cheeks flushed red.

“Mello…” Light wanted two things, one was drugs and the other was sex.

“Let’s ride a rail.” The blonde led Light to the gent’s room. Jonnie and Georgios exchanged glances and she gestured him to get over to the console.

 

 

Mello lowered the toilet seat and cut two lines of cocaine, Light knelt behind the blonde and kissed the back of his neck. Mello snuffed a line and offered the rolled bill to Light. The former brunette did the same and then kissed the blonde’s soft lips. He lifted Mello’s hips on the toilet seat and threw his legs around his waist. Light continued to kiss him hard and grinded his hips down, made Mello feel how hard he was already.

“Wow, you’re pushy tonight.” Mello purred in Light’s mouth.

“I want to fuck.”

Mello smirked like a little demon. “That’s not possible, my dear.”

“How come?” Light panted, he was already horny as hell, his hands ran over the latex clad thighs, squeezed their flesh.

“I’m not going to take _these_ off.” His eyes pointed at his pants. “It’s a pain in the ass to put them off and on again.” Light rolled his eyes. “But I can take out my cock and fuck you. I’m good, you know.”

“Hmpf. That’s not going to happen.”

“Okay, your loss.” Mello wanted to leave but Light pulled him back and smashed him against the wall.

“Blondie, you’re not fucking getting this.” Light hissed in Mello’s ear. “I said I’m horny.”

Mello’s tongue licked Light’s nose tip. “Your highness wants me to suck him?” Mello switched their positions and was on his knees before Light could say _yes_.

Mello’s mouth was warm and wet, his tongue soft, the metal stud hard and everything was just too intense and amazing. Light fisted blonde hair, pulled slightly while Mello sucked, licked, teased him softly with lips, tongue and teeth. Mello looked up, his icy eyes met Light’s amber ones and sparked. He sucked his middle finger and coated it with saliva, traced softly over Light’s entrance. Light sucked his lower lip in, eyes still locking each other. The blonde took him again in his mouth, his tongue teased the tiny slit, licked precum and his finger slipped in Light’s ass. He groaned softly, it didn’t feel bad, it felt damn good and he even enjoyed it. Mello moved his finger slowly in and out; Light closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall, panted loud. He was going to come so fucking hard; drugs, alcohol and Mello’s ass on the dance floor had excited him a lot already.

Mello’s finger found the sensitive spot in him and brushed against it, Light felt stimulated in two ways at the same time and it felt fucking amazing. His cock twitched in Mello’s mouth as he sucked hard at his head, hips thrust hard until he was in his throat. Mello deep throated and fingered him, Light came; Mello drank eagerly each drop of cum, stood up, kissed him. He tasted of sperm and sweat, Light cupped the back of his head and deepened their kiss.

“You’re so good, princess.” Light whispered against his lips. “I need a drink.”

“I’m going to have a smoke in the backyard.”

_‘Of course he’s good, he was a hooker, damn! Keep this in mind, idiot!’_ Light reprehended himself and left the gent’s room.

 

Mello looked in the mirror and fixed his hair aware to hide the scarred part of his face. He was about to leave as Georgios stepped in and blocked his passage.

“Guess you talked with Jo.” Mello raised an eyebrow. _‘Is he pissed?’_

“I did.” The tall Greek crossed his arms. “I call myself out.”

“The fuck you do.” Mello closed the distance between them and even if Georgios was a head taller than the blonde, he wasn’t intimidated at all. “Need I remind you who sent you and Jonnie a Green Card? Who sent you false passports and a one-way ticket to LA? Whose house you’re living in for free?”

“I wondered how long it would take you to lie this at my doorstep.” Georgios rumbled and gave Mello a heavy shove. “Now that Matt’s gone we’re worth nothing for you?”

“I don’t hold anything against you.” Mello remained calm. “I need you two to continue Matt’s work. I expect a report in 72 hours.”

“Now I understand what Matt meant when he said you’re a tyrant.” Georgios provoked him. “Did he become inefficient and you and your new friend got rid of him?”

“I’ll rape you on your mother’s back!” Mello couldn’t take a foul accuse like that and punched hard in Georgios’ face, his head snapped sideways. The Greek’s green eyes glowed like venom and he threw on the blonde. Mello was fast enough to avoid him and wrestled the giant to the ground. And again, he’s been underestimated, but Mello knew far too well ho to defend himself.

“Don’t make me break your neck.” Mello hissed and his icy eyes sparked dangerously. The Greek nodded and Mello stood up. He offered Georgios his hand and helped him on his feet.

“I’m sorry, man… I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I’ll pay you ten thousand dollars in advance and twenty thousand when the work is done.” Mello changed topic.

“Mel are you and Leo fucking each other?” The blonde looked at the dirty ground, avoiding Georgios’ inquisitive gaze. “I’m not happy about that but it’s your business. Just don’t tell Jonnie.”

“Why? Because he has a crush on Leo?”

“Jo has a crush on everything.” Georgios shook his head but was dead serious. “Matt was like a brother to him, it’ll hurt him to see how easily you moved on from Matt.”

“I didn’t move on! Fuck, Rio, I loved Matt with my entire being… and still do. I’ll never move on!” Mello yelled and his eyes became wet. “Don’t treat me like I fuck with random people because that’s not true.”

“What are you doing with Leo, then.”

“I’m keeping him close to me because he’ll serve my purposes.” Mello sighed. “And I’m still his captive.”

“Don’t lie to me, Mello. I’ve seen how you look at each other.”

Mello opened his mouth to answer but Ryuk walked through the closed door and interrupted them. “That’s not true. 72 hours, do it for Matt.” Mello whispered and Georgios rolled his eyes.

“Light’s already worried for you, pretty boy.” Mello left the gent’s room and looked for Light.

 

Ryuk flew towards Light a couple of feet in advance to Mello. “He was in the gent’s room with the tall one. I think he was crying.”

_‘Again because of Matt. Can he not get simply over him?’_ Mello walked towards Light, his black makeup was slightly smudged, but was it because he cried or because of the blowjob he had given him right before?

“Mello, you okay?”

The two blonde girls were again around Light and worshiped him like he was a rockstar or something like that. He smiled self-satisfied and flirted with them both.

“You have a very unique face.” One of the girls squeaked. “Where are you from?”

“I’m Franco-Japanese.” Light stuck to the false story Mello had given him back in Japan.

“You’re half-Asian. That means you’re smart for sure” The girls continued telling Light how handsome and sexy he was. Mello rolled his eyes and observed the two. Bleach-blonde hair, tons of ugly makeup, fake boobs, super tan and dressed like sluts. Average bog-standard wannabe California gals. _‘They’re not even here for the music or stuff... they’re just chasing dicks.’_ Mello noticed for himself and ordered another drink. Ah women, so predictable. Jonnie was the same little bitch as well. _‘Light I thought you had more class in choosing your preys.’_

 

\---

 

A tall guy smashed Mello against the wall and pinned his hands to the sides. “What are you doing here by yourself, little blondie?”

“It’s none of your fucking business.” Mello snarled and tried to focus on the older man’s face.

“You look like you troll for cock.”

“I’m unavailable to you.” Mello avoided the other man’s mouth as he tried to kiss him.

“You’re nothing but a two-dollar whore.” The man sneered. “I’ve anything you want. Speed, hash, crack, heroin, LSD, MDMA, 740, snuff-“

“Get your dirty hands off my boyfriend.” Light growled behind the molester.

“Fuck off.”

Light grabbed the man’s collar and shoved him against the wall. “Don’t make me say it again.” He raised his balled fist and was about to punch in his face but Mello held him back.

“Hey guys, no brawls in here!” Georgios stood behind them with a baseball bat in his hands. “You. Out of here or I’ll call the police.”

“But-“ Georgios smacked the baseball bat in the molester’s stomach. “I said out!”

“You alright?” Light cupped Mello’s cheek and ran his thumb on his lower lip. Was he really worried or was he just playing hero?

“I don’t need any fucking knight in shiny armour.”

Light wanted to answer but the two blonde girls approached him from behind.

“You are so brave!” Light turned to them and Mello slipped away.

 

 

Mello locked the toilet box and cut a rail of cocaine on the lowered seat. He snuffed the line and then leaned his head on the seat. He felt a warm embrace from behind. “Matt, I can’t stand it without you.” Mello whispered and ran his hand through his hair. He slowly traced his chest downwards until he reached his lap. He lowered the latex a little and took out his cock, toyed it briefly to harden and then he began to stroke himself rough and fast until it hurt.

 

 

**1 year ago, Cassiopeia, Downtown LA**

 

Mello’s leather clad fingers ran through fiery red hair. Matt moaned loud each time Mello rammed his cock into him.

“What are you?” Mello pulled at the leash and the collar tightened around Matt’s neck and scratched his skin.

“Ik ben een kleine jood-“ Mello backhanded him across the jaw, his face turned sideways.

“In German, dog. Do I look like a cheese-eating Dutch?”

“Ich bin ein kleines dreckiges Judenschwein." Matt gasped; Mello loved the Balkan accent when he spoke German.

“Oh ja das bist du. And who am I?”

Matt swallowed and looked at the blonde who was dressed in a latex SS uniform replica. Mello was so damn sexy when he wore uniforms, Matt couldn’t help but he grew fond of Mello’s kink. “Mein Meister.” Mello hit him hard in the face, this time Matt bit his lower lip and spat blood on the ground. “Mein Arischer Meister.”

Mello smirked satisfied and Matt kissed the Totenkopf on the collar of his jacket. “Guter Junge.”[3] Mello purred and licked some blood from his lip. The blonde lit up a cocaine laced cigarette and blew the smoke in Matt’s face. The redhead inhaled it avidly, he gasped loud. He was almost on the edge but Mello refused to make him come yet. He was excited and frustrated and desperately longing for a cigarette. “Do you deserve my mercy?” Matt shook his head and Mello rammed his cock deep into him. “Answer!”

“No.” Matt whimpered as Mello blew some smoke in his mouth. Matt inhaled and exhaled, tasted nicotine in his breath.

“I am merciful, ain’t I?” Mello rolled his hips slowly up and down, Matt panted frantically and shook his head. He withdrew his cock and slammed back in; hearing Matt wheeze like that excited the hell out of him. “Ain’t I, dirty little Jewish dog?” Matt nodded in response. “You’re soiling my Arian cock with your futile existence.” Mello hissed and rough-fucked Matt but kept a slow pace. The redhead couldn’t take it anymore, he was so overly thrilled, he just wanted to release and to smoke a cigarette.

“M-Mells… can’t anymore… make me come…” Matt begged and Mello pulled at the collar.

“Make me come, master!” He hit right over Matt’s bleeding lips, more blood ran from the corner of his mouth and stained his teeth red.

“M-my Arian master… please make me come… please, I’m begging you…” Matt babbled, his mind confused from too much stimulation. “Bitte...”

Mello stubbed out the cigarette on the _Sklave_ print of Matt’s shirt, the glow burned the skin on his chest. “I’m going to fucking kill you.” Mello purred in Matt’s ear, bit down hard in his neck.

“Yes, kill me, please.” Matt gasped and Mello kissed him, his moves became faster, harder; Matt’s eyes were watering. “Kill me, Miško…”

Mello fucked him hard on the toilet seat, he felt how Matt was finally getting closer to his longed climax. Matt moaned loud and came, Mello followed him almost immediately. The blonde cupped the redhead’s cheek and kissed him dearly.

“God, Matt I love you so fucking much.” Matt’s fingers interlaced with Mello’s, he squeezed his hand. “Did I hurt you?”

Matt smiled and kissed him again. “I like it when you’re nasty.”

 

\---

 

Mello came and released on the floor, not caring about cleaning up the mess he made. He leaned his forehead against the wall, his thoughts were confused, the orgasm was frustrating and not pleasant at all. Ryuk had observed him silently but had to chuckle as Mello had a post-orgasm breakdown and cried against the wall. He didn’t hear the shinigami, though. Mello was on another sphere, tried to not get drown in darkness. It took him several minutes to come back to a distorted reality. The blonde cleaned his cock with toilet paper and stuffed it back into his tight latex leggings. He rolled a cigarette and left the gent’s room.

 

\---

 

Mello climbed up to the DJ console and dropped himself next to Jonnie, his eyes looked somehow lost.

"Melli, what's wrong?" The blonde buried his face in his hands. Jonnie quickly added some songs to the queue and knelt down next to Mello. "Hey."

"I miss Matt so fucking much." Mello cried, the black make-up was running with his tears.

_'Oh fuck, he's on a bad trip.'_ Jonnie took a tissue and cleaned Mello's face from tears and smudged eyeliner. "We all miss him." Jonnie tried to comfort Mello but she was already feeling uneasy. "If you're still alive means God has a bigger plan for you, don’t you think?"

Mello burst into tears again. "Why is God so cruel? What have I done to deserve this pain?"

Jonnie sat next to the blonde and put her arm around his shoulder. "Come on, Melli. Don’t cry." She reached for her mobile and texted to Georgios. _Move your sexy ass over here, need your help. Barbie is trippin and I can't stand him._

The Greek arrived shortly after, Jonnie stood up and left Mello crying on his own. "What's up?"

"I told him a thousand times to not snuff while he's on acid. That stupid bitch. Take care of him because I've other things to do than to play Florence Nightingale."

"Ugh Jo, don’t be so snappy. Got the wrong dick up your ass?"

"The fuck. I've no motherly instincts like you. And I'm tired of him being an attention whore all the time. He's not the only one who suffers because of Matt." Georgios crossed his arms and eyed her badly. "What? If you're busy, call Prince Charming and tell him to take care of his pretty princess."

Georgios raised an eyebrow. "Yeah I take him to the storeroom, maybe he's calming down." The Greek put his hands under Mello's armpits and pulled him up. "Come on, Mello. Time to sleep."

"I don’t need any fucking babysitter." Mello shoved Georgios aside and jumped down from the console stage.

"Mello!" The Greek called after him but Jonnie held him back.

"Screw him. Let him be a whore, that's the only he's good at."

"Whoa Jonnie you should fuck more, you prickly maid."

"Give it to me."

"No way, you're a woman." Those words left Jonnie speechless and offended.

 

Mello walked along the dance floor, he was looking for Light. He was feeling lost and something about Light’s presence was comforting him in moments like this. But Light was already busy making out with one of the two girls while squeezing the other one's ass. _'Of course... I'm just the second choice. Like always.'_

Mello's attention got caught by Vitalij who was dancing in one of the cages that were hanging from the ceiling. The two blondes exchanged glances and Vitalij gestured Mello to join him. Mello took off his shirt and climbed in the cage, Vitalij smiled big.

"You look fucking hot."

"Can you handle all _this_?" Mello smirked and sucked at the piercing in his tongue. The Russian wanted to kiss him but Mello avoided his lips. "I'm hard to get, babe-y."

"Well, let's see how much."

 

Light and Mello didn't leave each other out of sight. The blonde sent him lecherous glances while the other Russian was rubbing against him, touched him everywhere, pulled his hair, liked his chest. They were practically fucking with clothes and the thought of feeling Mello's burning body under him made Light hard. He grabbed a fistful of blonde hair and his tongue slid into one of the two girls' mouth. He still didn't know who was who, and he didn’t care, they looked the same and were dressed the same, and the best part was that they were female versions of Mello and he could make out with them in public without feeling weird.

Light felt like a deity, he was dancing with two girls who already worshiped him, a lot of people eyed him with interest, Mello was fucking him with his eyes. Light closed his eyes, smelled a lot of different odours, the bass beating from the speakers was synchronising with his heartbeat. He felt warm, felt hands tracing all over his body. He was going to destroy them both tonight and they would thank him. But truth was that Light was obsessively thinking about how much he wanted to bang Mello senseless in that fucking cage.

 

 

* * *

 

[1] Luxury hooker

[2] Jo, got a minute? – Dance with me.

[3] I’m a little dirty Jewish pig. – Oh yes, that’s what you are. – My master. My Arian master. – Good boy.

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cassiopeia is inspired by a real place in Vienna called Club Pi, upstairs it was a cafe/swinger club and downstairs an underground nightclub with many dancefloors. It was common for people there running around dressed in uniforms.
> 
> so-called chasers are not of common use in Europe and since all 4 are European they didn't get used to drink like that.
> 
> \---
> 
> Refs and stuff
> 
> inspiration about M&M scene is the amazing cosplay scene by Tovarish-N and Pollypwnz  
> https://tovarish-n.deviantart.com/art/Reach-out-and-touch-faith-483113716
> 
> Mel's shirt  
> https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.152596227.6421/ra%2Cclassic_tee%2Cx822%2C101010%3A01c5ca27c6%2Cfront-c%2C182%2C165%2C210%2C230-bg%2Cf8f8f8.lite-2u2.jpg
> 
> Mel's boots (New Rock)  
> https://media.dollskill.com/media/AMD7YRvYH4cZUonXKCLb3oVYiCL8RSPO-34.jpg
> 
> Light's pants  
> https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0765/1311/products/Bumflap_pant_front_large.jpg?v=1437415325
> 
>  
> 
> Georgios char sheet  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/14338509/chapters/34129656
> 
>  
> 
> Jonnie char sheet  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/14338509/chapters/34129962
> 
> \---
> 
> Pic is as usual by me, it's maybe my favourite of Mello I've drawn so far  
> 


	16. Serpent's Embrace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluffy smut, emotional roller coaster and welcome back, Kira!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All into fires  
> Black burning reign  
> I turn the worlds  
> I would chase to come  
> We ride next our call  
> Our kingdom come  
> Under the dying sun
> 
> [Demonaz - Dying sun]  
> https://youtu.be/v2cXtB1P41Y
> 
> album version (no vocals)  
> https://youtu.be/AAX7BKaqgrg
> 
>  
> 
> Listen if you like (old) Fields of the Nephilim or stuff like that, it's really a beautiful song, with little to no metal elements, I really recommend to give a try.

* * *

 

 

 

Mello opened his eyes and blinked, he closed them again and palmed his forehead. _‘Fuck...’_ He felt someone lying on top of him, opened one eye and glanced briefly downwards. Mello recognized the messy grey nest that should be Jonnie’s hair; the sheboy was lying between his legs and resting her head on his naked chest. _‘What the...’_ Mello ran his fingers through his sweaty hair and over his face, cursed as he smeared black make-up, or what remained of it, over his cheeks.

“Hey Jonnie-boy.” The blonde shook the sheboy, but she murmured something and tightened her grip around Mello’s waist. He opened both eyes, the bright sunlight was hurting his sensitive pupils. _‘Why did we sleep on the couch?’_ Mello raised his head and glanced to the bed. Light was soundly asleep, one of the blonde girls was lying on top of him and the other to his side. Mello rolled his eyes. _‘Yagami you asshole, those are my fucking satin sheets.’_ Mello tried to sleep again but his mouth was dry, his head hurt as hell, and he felt the need to wash his dirty face.

“Jonnie, come on, lemme up.” Mello shook her once more and Jonnie looked up, her face even in a worse state than his own, her dark makeup was everywhere except where it had to be. The blonde laughed at this sight. “Why are you sleeping on me?”

“Because I felt alone and they were all busy doing other things.”

“Am I a fucking mattress?”

“You’re not even comfy. You’re too bony.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Mello groaned. “Where’s Rio?” Jonnie pointed to the cushions in front of the TV, Mello’s eyes followed her directions and found Georgios lying naked on the floor, his arm wrapped around another male. _‘Great, everyone fucked in my fucking house except me... and Jonnie-boy.’_ Mello wrapped his arms around her shoulders and messed her hair. “C’mon, let me up.” The sheboy sat up and brushed her eyes, smearing even more make-up across her face. Mello stood up and she collapsed again on the couch.

Mello stretched and felt the latex pants sticking on his skin and regretted having fallen asleep without taking them off first. While walking towards the bathroom, he stumbled upon some clothes, Light’s tripp pants, one of the girls’ high-heeled boots, a pair of boxer shorts. His attention was caught by Georgios lying on top of Vitalij and wondered why the two didn’t go to their own house. _‘Wow, so much to I want you so fucking badly, Sasha.’_

Mello went in the bathroom and washed his face with cold water. _‘Where’s my fucking aspro?’_ He rummaged in the medicine chest in the cabinet but couldn’t find any. He walked to the kitchen counter and found the small bottle of aspirin on the cupboard. Mello filled a glass with cool water and was finally able to quench his vengeful thirst. He hit the power button of the coffee machine, and while waiting until it was ready he walked to the couch, trying to avoid the amount of clothes randomly thrown on the floor.

“Jo, water?” The sheboy remained motionless and her face was buried in the couch. Mello heard a movement behind him and turned. Light was awake and was pushing one of the blondes from him, waking her up as well. Light eyed her badly but as his amber eyes found Mello, he smiled.

“Hey...” Light murmured and brushed his eyes.

“Want some water?”

“Yeah... I think... that’s a good idea.” Light sat up and held his head between his hands. Mello gave him the glass and aspirin, Light drank greedily.

“Can I have water too?” The blonde with the _I fuck for Kira_ shirt asked him but Mello raised an eyebrow.

“You take me for a servant?” Mello snapped at her.

“You’re a nasty one, aren’t you?” He took the empty glass from Light’s hand and ignored the girl. “Why don’t you join us?” She threw on Light but he pushed her away.

“I haven’t had any coffee yet.”

“And I’m gay, so _no_.”

“They all say they’re gay until they don’t try Lenny and Jenny.”

Mello pinched the bridge of his nose. _‘Oh dear God, blonde_ and _stupid...’_

“Wait... your name is fucking Jenny and fucking Lenny?” Jonnie looked up and laughed at the blonde girl.

“Jo, wanna coffee?”

“Did you know if you drink between 80-100 coffees in less than four hours, you’ll die?”

Mello raised an eyebrow. “I asked you if you want coffee not if you want to die. I’ve a quicker method for that.”

“Nope, I’ll sleep.” Jonnie buried her face in the couch again.

Mello handed Light a cup of coffee. “Thanks.”

The blonde waited until Light was done drinking to take the empty cup, but as he reached out his arm, Light grabbed his wrist and pulled him down. Mello was caught off guard and fell on top of Light, his cup fell on the floor and Light's got lost in the crimson sheets. “I missed you tonight...” Light whispered and brushed softly Mello’s cheek, the blonde blushed shyly. _‘What did he just say?’_ Light cupped the back of his head and kissed him softly, his other arm held him close by his waist.

Light ran his fingers through Mello's soft hair, kept him trapped in his kiss. Mello nipped gently at his lips before slipping his pierced tongue into Light's mouth, soothing his neglected need of attention. They both tasted the bittersweet flavour of coffee in each others mouth. Light smelled the pleasant scent of Mello’s skin, traces of perfume mixed with sweat and juvenile hormones. It was true, he had missed Mello's body last night, he had not half the fun with the two girls. Sex with Mello was on a higher level. Light cupped his chin, his thumb brushed softly his scarred cheek while the other hand travelled along Mello's back until he reached his ass. Mello was still wearing the latex pants, Light tried to slip his hand in to touch his bare backside but the cloth was too tight.

Lenny, the girl wearing the _I fuck for Kira shirt,_ observed them with interest and woke the other one. They both exchanged glances and began to touch and rub against Mello's half naked body.

"Hey!" The blonde's hand slapped randomly behind him, hitting one of the girls. "I told you I'm fucking gay! _Compriende_?"

Both girls giggled and ignored his complaints but Light tilted his head sideways and glared at them. "No touching. He's _mine_!" He warned them and pulled Mello back into another kiss, the blonde giggled in his mouth.

 

Jonnie raised her head from the couch and observed what was going on in front of her. Mello was sitting on Light's hips and was making out with him, the Japanese's fingers squeezed Mello's ass. Jonnie's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. _'Ha, I knew it.'_ The blonde girls still tried to get involved with them and Mello failed at pushing them away. "Hey bitches! Time to go home, fun's over for you!" Jonnie sneered.

"Well, we're not beat yet."

Jonnie reached for a random item on the ground, a vinyl boot, and threw it at them. "You better piss off!"

"Hey!" One of the two lamented and looked at the two males kissing. Light ignored them, his attention was focused on Mello and him alone.

The girls dressed and collected their things but before leaving the one with the Kira shirt tried it again. "We're outside LA. How the fuck shall we go back?"

"Well, you have a mobile, no? Call a fucking cab." Jonnie snapped at them and sat up, reaching for her purse. She threw a couple of bills at the girls. "Say night night." She sent them an air kiss and waved her hand. One of the girls picked up the money and both left. _'Ah, I feel like the love doctor, ja ja ja.'_ The sheboy giggled satisfied and run her hand over her face. _'Oh fuck.'_ She noticed that her whole make-up was smudged, her fingers were black. "Okay guys, now you can stop it and continue later."

The pair ignored her, though. Light tried to take Mello's pants off but it wasn't that easy. “Careful or they rip.” The blonde rolled on his side and lowered slowly the latex gear and Light helped him out of the damn sexy but annoying piece, leaving Mello naked and ready in front of him.

"Hey you two!" Jonnie avoided looking at the two naked boys in front of her. She stood up and rushed towards Georgios and Vitalij and kicked in the Greek's leg. "Rio! Wake up!" She squealed in an awkwardly high tone. "Barbie and Leo are having sexy time!" Georgios groaned and tightened his grip around the Russian's waist. "You buttfucking piece of shit!" Jonnie went to the bathroom to wash her face.

 

Light finally freed Mello from his pants, his hands traced over the sweaty and slightly slicked thighs. He rolled on top of Mello, placed his body between his legs. Light kissed his tattooed chest, nipped softly at his collarbones; his hand traced all over Mello's skin. He heard Jonnie squeaking behind them and reached for one of the sheets, pulling it over them both.

"Better." He grinned and lowered his head to meet Mello's lips. Mello wrapped his arms around Light’s neck, kissed him deeply, enjoyed Light’s soft touches all over his skin. “Relax, Mello...” Light whispered in his ear and nipped gently at his earlobe, his teeth played with his earrings. “Or are you jealous because of last night?” Light kissed the sharp line of his jaw; Mello got goose bumps when he lowered and sucked tenderly at his nipple.

“N-no...” Mello panted softly. Why did Light understand him so well? “I’m not jealous...” But Mello lied to both himself and Light because his nasty inferiority complex triggered his jealousy and fed his fear of not being good enough. _‘Why should I be jealous?’_ Light wasn’t Matt, and he didn’t love him, jealousy had no sense.

“Sure?” Light’s tongue and teeth teased his nipple. “Because I was when you danced with the Russian...” Light smirked and blew over the wet nub; Mello shivered again. That made no sense, Light wasn’t an emotional person, why would he be jealous? But then Mello realised that Light just claimed him as _his_ and so the night before when he played hero to save him from the annoying man. Light wasn’t jealous because he felt something for Mello; Light was jealous of his belongings and all he wanted was to _possess_ him. It was then, Mello realised that he wasn’t the player anymore, but he fell deliberately in his own trap and got literally screwed over by Light. _'For now...'_

Light shifted his body up until they were face to face again, looked into each others eyes. Mello’s fair eyes were sad as usual, but a strange energy sparked in them, his lips were a bit chapped from the nervous gnawing during the trip. Mello’s thumb traced softly over Light’s mouth, then his fingers ran through his dark blonde hair and pulled him down for another kiss. Light ran his arm under Mello’s waist, holding him tight, Mello wrapped his legs around Light’s hips, their bodies were one whole intertwined something, limbs trapped each other in a vicious embrace.

"Do you want...?” Mello whispered between their hungry kisses. "Now?"

"Yeah." Light pressed his lips on the tip of Mello's cute nose. "Do you...?"

Mello nodded and melted into another slow and lazy kiss, his hands traced over Light's back, touched his bare ass, rolled his hips up and felt how hard they both already were. "I... um... but last night..."

Light's hand searched for something between the sheets. "I used condoms." He held a small envelope in front of Mello's face. "Don't worry. I wasn’t _that_ wasted." Mello smirked and Light kissed his neck, smelled his skin. "Got lube? I don’t want it harsh now."

 _'How come?'_ Mello raised an eyebrow, surprised about Light’s unusual request. "Sure. In the nightstand."

Light rummaged in the drawer and found a small bottle along with various sex-toys. Light crawled under the sheets again; the bright sunlight threw red light over Mello and he looked so damn sexy. The blonde looked at him, panted hard, his chest raised and lowered with his breath. Was he nervous? Light smiled softly at Mello who was acting virgin-like. The boy was strange but Light got used to it. He poured a good amount of lube on his fingers and traced slowly over his tight hole. Mello gasped quietly as two fingers entered him slowly, pleasant sparks shooting through his body. He was still exhausted from dancing, alcohol and drugs but Lights gentle moves sharpened his senses.

“Oh God...” Mello panted and closed his eyes, whimpered at each thrust in and out. He fisted the sheets and chew on his already split lip as a third finger entered him, opening him up slowly, gentle. He felt Light’s fingers brushing his walls, heard slick noises at each movement. Mello spread his legs further, precum spilled on his stomach.

Light poured a small amount of lube on his throbbing cock, coated his length well and stroke himself a couple of times. He heard some voices talking in the background but ignored them, this moment was just too perfect to be ruined. Light found Mello’s lust-injected eyes, his glance an invitation to not stop. Light withdrew his fingers, grabbed Mello’s legs and put them around his hips, positioning himself in front of his entrance.

Mello felt the tip entering him gently and then Light pushed inside, making Mello groan loud and gasp for air. Light felt him so tight around him, so warm, so intense; he wondered if he was still coming down from the trip or if it was the moment that thrilled him so much. Light hadn’t moved yet, but Mello was already panting hard. The blonde felt Light’s thick cock pulsing in him, his hot body over him, everything felt different, expanded even.

Light brushed hair from Mello’s sweaty face, met his eyes, the red light was making them shine purple. He lowered and kissed Mello’s wet and swollen lips. The blonde opened his mouth and let his tongue in; his toes curled as Light began to slowly move forth and back.

 

“Are you two fucking under the sheets?” Jonnie screamed through the room. “Rio, do something!”

“Jonnie, shut up.” The Greek groaned and brushed his eyes.

Vitalij sat up and looked to the bed, something was moving beneath the crimson satin sheets. “Is Sasha fucking with the other guy?” He lamented and Jonnie squatted down next to him.

“What is it, Vita? Jealous?” She threw a shirt in Vitalij’s face. “You shouldn’t have fucked with Rio, then.”

“But... I thought...” Vitalij put on his shirt. “He’s available since he broke up with Loco.”

“Ha, opportunity knocks only once.” The sheboy giggled like a devil.

“You think I can join them?”

“Come on guys, mind your own fucking business.” Georgios reprehended them both and walked to the coffee machine. “Why are you so childish?” The Greek drank a cup of coffee and put on his shoes. “Jonnie! What the fuck are you doing?”

“I just want a sex tape of them.” She rummaged in her purse and found her phone, and was about to get closer to the bed.

“Time to go home.” Georgios pulled Jonnie away by her ear and forced her to wear her shoes. “You’re such an annoying little prick.”

 

Light heard the door closing and then silence, he threw the satin sheets back and gasped for air. “Finally.” Mello giggled and sat up, catching Light’s lips with his. Light lowered them both again and lay atop of the blonde, shifted his leg up and hooked his shoulder behind his knee. Light sat back up and thrust deeper in Mello, the blonde moaned softly. “I want to make you come.”

Light’s thumb traced over the slit of Mello’s cock, smeared precum over the head and the small metal ring in his flesh. The blonde looked at him and sucked his lower lip in. The dying sun was shining through the huge window wall and made Light’s eyes glow like golden stars. He pushed his thumb in Mello’s mouth and the blonde tasted his own precum on Light’s finger, sucked at it. Light lowered again and kissed the blonde, while putting his leg around his hip again. Mello felt Light grabbing his waist and pulling his hips up to drive deeper into him, but keeping the same slow and steady rhythm. His arms wrapped around Light’s neck, kissed him harder, panted in his mouth.

Light hoped to fuck out any feeling Mello still had for Matt, he would never be truly committed to him till he held on to his lost love. But Mello did not forget Matt, and the worst part was that Light was fucking him like Matt used to do when Mello needed comfort. It seemed like Light was making love to him as if they were truly feeling something for each other. Mello knew instead all this was an illusion, an infamous seduction, like when the serpent tempted Eve. And though, he fell willingly in Light’s sweet trapping embrace, because he had not the strength to fight against.

Light’s thrusts hit a certain spot, Mello moaned, unable to kiss anymore and Light lowered his mouth and nuzzled at his neck. Mello hooked his legs tightly around Light’s waist to push him deeper into him. “Don’t stop...” He whispered in Light’s hair.

Light pressed their foreheads together, felt Mello’s warm breath on his lips. He put an arm around his waist to keep the blonde close and firm, continued rocking into him, passion already consuming them both. Light caught Mello’s left hand and entwined their fingers, squeezed as he felt how Mello rolled his hips in the same rhythm, allowing Light to dive deeper into him.

Mello’s right hand reached for the rosary but he didn’t pray, it was too late anyway. He felt shivers running through his body as Light hit his prostate over and over, and he knew he was close. “Light...” He moaned in his mouth and tightened the grip on his hand.

Mello felt burning flames lighting up his body and a violent shockwave in his loins; it was so intense, on the limit to painful. He whined and gasped for air, but Light suffocated his plea with his mouth.

Light felt Mello’s insides clenching around his cock, his orgasm lasted longer than usual. He didn’t stop and thrust harder into him, helping Mello to extend his orgasm and reaching his own.

Light collapsed on top of Mello, completely out of breath and exhausted. It was so amazing but also so much more tiring than their usual short and wild rides. He raised his head and met Mello’s gentle eyes and shy smile, caressed his cheek. They looked briefly into each other’s eyes, then Mello pulled him down and kissed him lazily, teasing softly his lips.

“Gods...” Light murmured and didn’t even know which gods he meant. For sure not the Christian god, how could something, that felt so good, be a sin in Mello’s religion? And why was the blonde persisting stubbornly in believing in something that made him feel bad for what he was and felt? It was all so wrong, the world needed a new god and new rules.

Light’s softening cock slipped out, mixed with traces of lube and cum but he remained motionless. “You alright?”

Mello nodded. _‘You never looked at me like that.’_ “You never... fucked me like that.” Light raised his head and met Mello’s sleepy eyes. Light smiled and pressed a small kiss on his nose before burying his head in Mello’s neck, smelling the scent of skin and hair. He closed his eyes and knew he would fall asleep soon. Mello ran his fingers through Light’s dark blonde hair and kissed his forehead, wrapped his arms around his shoulders and closed his eyes as well. Ryuk chuckled in the background and both of them became halfway aware of his presence but were too exhausted to care about.

 

When Light woke up, the sun had already set. He propped up on his elbow and ran his fingers through his hair. Mello blinked, and as his eyes found Light's, he gave him a gentle smile. Light kissed softly the tip of his nose and his lips, as he moved, he felt something odd between their bellies. Mello reached for the tissue box on the nightstand and tried to clean the already dried sperm from Light’s stomach.

"Mh I think we need a shower." The blonde murmured.

"Care to join me?"

"Care to feed me?"

Mello startled as he saw Ryuk's ugly face upside down. "Can you stop it spying at us, you fucking voyeur?"

"Guys don’t start fighting." Light huffed and sat up. "What do you want, Ryuk?"

The shinigami chuckled. "You all had fun last night. I just want an apple."

"Go and take a shower, I'll take care of Ryuk and this mess here."

"What mess?" Light raised an eyebrow.

"Gotta change the sheets and clean up the mess I made with the coffee cup." Mello gave Light a gentle shove. "Because you made me drop it."

"You really are a housewife, aren't you?" Light laughed and left the bed.

"No I'm not!" Mello snapped. "But the sheets smell of fucking cunt!" Light chuckled and walked to the bathroom. "And it's not because of me!" Light slammed the door behind him. Mello threw back on the bed and Ryuk flew over him, his tongue hanging out. "What? You know that your master is a fucking idiot, do you?"

"As long as he feeds me." Ryuk shrugged.

Mello rolled his eyes and left the bed. He put on some boxer shorts because he felt uneasy to walk around naked in front of _that ugly thing_. "Come now, I give you an apple." Mello took a blood red apple from the fridge and threw it at Ryuk, then he made coffee for himself. "You like my music, don’t you?"

"Sure." Ryuk devoured the apple in a few bites. Mello squatted down in front of a shelf and chose a DVD. "Can you put on the band we listened the first time here?"

"Twisted Sister?" Ryuk nodded. "Okay." Mello turned on TV and DVD player and put the volume high.

The blonde changed all the bed linen and put the dirty ones in the washing machine. He switched on his laptop and checked if he got new emails. Nothing. Light came back from the bathroom and Mello went to shower.

Mello used Matt’s Axe Anti Hangover shower gel and missed already how it smelled on the redhead. He didn’t know how to feel about having Light in their house, a house that was still rich on memories and emotions they shared.

 

As Mello came back to the main room, Light was lying on the bed wearing only boxer shorts and checking stuff on his own laptop. The blonde bit his lower lip as his eyes narrowed over Light's perfectly shaped ass. His eyes followed the voice coming from the TV.

"Did you switch off the music?" Mello asked him angrily.

"Yeah, it was too loud."

"I told him to do not." Ryuk chuckled and stood in front of the fridge, already begging for another apple.

"Why the Japanese News Channel?" Mello opened the fridge and threw another red apple at the greedy shinigami.

"Just listening to the news." Light shrugged.

"And something interesting happened?" Mello sat on Light's ass and ran his hands over his back.

"Not really." Light purred as Mello massaged gently his shoulders.

"What are you doing?" Mello whispered in his ear.

"Just checking the Task Force files. But... nothing new there as well."

"I see..." Mello kissed the back of his necks, Light wanted to turn around but the blonde pushed him down. "Stay like that."

 _'What is he up to?'_ Light wondered but remained still. Mello's mouth dropped kisses along his spine until he arrived at the seam of his underwear. He lowered the boxer shorts a little and bit softly in his butt cheek, Light shivered. Mello slowly took off his boxer shorts and kissed his leg upwards. "Mello a blowjob goes the other way."

"I know." The blonde smirked and his tongue ran over Light’s inner thigh. "But you trust me, don’t you?"

 _'Not really.'_ Light panted as he felt Mello grabbing his ass and spread him apart, his pierced tongue running awkwardly slow from his balls over the butt crack till the end of his spine. Light felt his cock twitch under him, and he realised, he was completely at Mello's mercy.

Mello reached for a pillow and stuffed it under Light's stomach. He turned to Ryuk and gestured him to leave. _'You're not going to like what I'm going to do to you master... but he will enjoy it like blazes.'_ The blonde bit on his lower lip and buried his face in Light's ass.

Light moaned as he felt Mello's tongue running up and down his ass, then focusing on his hole. And then Light’s mind shut still.

Mello teased his entrance with the tip of his tongue, sucked him, licked him, savoured him with delight. He softly blew over his wet hole and Light shivered. Then his tongue pushed in slowly, tasted his insides, Mello felt how Light arched his back and opened up more for him.

Light closed his eyes and fisted the sheets, hid his blameworthy moans of pleasure into the mattress. It felt so weird and yet so good; he wanted him to stop and wanted him to continue at the same time.

And Mello didn’t stop. He thrust his warm tongue into him, Light felt the hard stud brushing his sensitive ring each time Mello pushed into him. Mello grabbed his ass, opened him further, thrust deeper into him, licked him, sucked him and thrust into him again, tasting every bit of desire.

Light felt countless sensations, lust, guilt, pleasure, humiliation. Each time Mello stopped to reach for air, he hoped he would stop but as Mello resumed his job, Light groaned out feeling guilty delight. The felt shame overcame him as he was aware how much power Mello had over him by simply eating his ass.

The blonde shoved his tongue into him, Light thrust his hips in the same rhythm in the pillow. "Mello..." He whispered and internally begged he would stop. "Mello." Light groaned and felt weird, and understood he was on the way of no return.

Mello thrust his tongue another time into him, then he felt light spasms and sucked Light through his orgasm. _'And I just changed the bedsheets, damn fuck.'_

Light released his full load into the pillow and remained motionless, breathing heavily. Mello kissed his spine upwards until he arrived at his neck, Light turned and devoured his mouth.

 _'You're going to pay for this. Dearly.'_ Light rolled on top of Mello and kissed him, kissed his own taste from his lips. If Mello had so much control by doing _one_ simple thing with his mouth, then Light wanted the same power. "I want to blow you." It was not a question, nor was it a proposal. It was an order.

"What... wow..." Mello smirked and brushed their noses together, his hard cock twitched. "Guess you liked it..."

"Under one circumstance."

"Whatever it is..." Mello panted already, felt extremely excited at the thought of his cock in Light's mouth.

Light took his red silk tie and wrapped it around Mello's wrists. "Don't touch me." Mello nodded and Light killed his moans with a kiss. Light's mouth lowered on his neck, nibbled softly at his collarbones, sucked at his nipple. This time he didn’t take the time to tease Mello like he did before. Kisses traced along his abdomen and Light took away Mello's boxer short, exposing his hard cock already dribbling with precum.

Light took Mello's foot and kissed his sole, licked it, sucked at the small toes, nibbled at his ankle, then teeth and tongue teased Mello's leg upwards until he reached his groin. Mello sat slightly up and backed against the headboard, he wanted to see him, he wanted to fucking see his cock in _his majesty's_ precious mouth.

Light licked from base to tip, tasted sweet precum. It tasted a bit strange but he got used to it. His tongue teased the part where the small metal ring ran through his flesh, Mello closed his eyes and threw his head back, panted hard.

A loud groan escaped his mouth as Light took him in, felt his warm and wet mouth around him. If Light was honest, he had not the slight idea what to do but tried to imitate Mello's moves. The blonde was excited as hell anyway, in a way or another he would get him an orgasm.

Mello wanted to touch Light's head, to push deeper into his mouth till he reached his throat but remembered it was interdicted. Light's lips ran up and down his cock, sucked occasionally at his head, tongue teased his slit. Mello licked his dry lips and took the rosary between his tied hands. _‘Holy Mother, forgive my sins...’_

Light always thought of blowjobs like a submission, it was through Mello that he had understood that it could be a way to exercise power. And he had to admit, it was an amazing feeling to have someone completely at his mercy like _this_.

Light's jaw began to hurt due the unusual moves. He exchanged his mouth for his hand and stroked Mello while slicking the fingers of his other hand with saliva. Mello wasn’t far, he already learned it from how the sound of his moans. Light took him again in his mouth, his fingers traced over his hole, entered him and thrust into him.

Mello bit down on his hand as he felt pleasure at both ends, Light's thrusts got faster, he sucked hard at his cock and then Mello felt it, the fire shooting through his legs and reaching his loins. Light looked up, ice met burning stars and then, the explosion. "Light!" Mello growled loud and shot in his mouth. It took him a couple of seconds to realise what happened and his tied hand reached for the tissue box.

Light felt something warm and sticky in his mouth, the taste already familiar but swallowing was out of discussion. He took some tissues and spat Mello's cum. He looked at the sweet mess in front of him, languid eyes, trembling lips and hair sticking to his sweaty skin. It was there Light realised he wanted _more_. The blonde was still panting hard, a look of confusion in his eyes.

 

Light sat on Mello's legs and devoured his mouth. _'I want to feel you in me...'_ Mello freed from the tie and cupped his cheeks, tasted traces of his own release. "Mello..." Light panted, the blonde caught his lips again. “I...” _‘Fuck it, I want to feel like he feels.’_

<… Yagami Raito has been declared dead today 14 February.> Mello's ears perceived the news streaming from the TV.

<But it's Valentine's Day today. It can't be! I feel he's still alive!> A female voice cried.

<Miss Amane, the FBI and the Tokyo Police have found his dead body cut into pieces.>

"But..." Mello interrupted their kisses. "But it's 13 February today."

Light checked his watch. "It's already the 14th in Japan."

Mello pushed him back. "It's the signal."

"What..." Light looked confused, still high on hormones. "What signal?"

"They took the bait."

“Who? What?”Light frowned. He was officially dead now and that was supposedly good, but what was Mello talking about?

"The call I made... As I predicted, Near and the SPK declared Yagami as dead. They want Kira to think he's out of the way... Or they want to provoke Yagami if he’s still alive." Mello jumped from the bed and rushed to the fridge. "Time for Kira to come back." Light followed Mello and helped him to move the fridge. The blonde typed the secret code in the safe and took out the notebooks.

"Good." Light took one of the notebooks and put the other back in the safe. He already felt the rush of power streaming through it. "So whose name are we going to write first?"

"Whose _names,_ you mean." Mello moved the fridge back in its place and walked to the computer desk. He switched on his laptop. Light sat down and put the notebook on the desk in front of him. “Let’s make a deal, you and I.”

“We already have a deal, if I remember correctly.” Light raised an eyebrow and glanced up to him. Something in Mello’s eyes sparked evilly and Light didn’t like what he saw. “I don’t get what you have in mind.”

Mello smirked. “For each name you’ll write in the notebook, you have to write one for me as well.”

Light wasn’t sure if to agree to Mello’s request. The blonde surely had weird plans and he was going to use Light and the notebook for his own purpose. The whole situation could go out of control easily, Mello was erratic and dangerous. But on the other hand, if Mello overdid it, he could write his name in the notebook and force him to reveal Near’s real identity. Based on the assumption that Mello actually knew his name, Light wasn’t sure about that anymore.

“Okay.” Light nodded and hoped Mello wasn’t going to ask him the impossible.

“I have two names for you.” Light felt his heart’s pace increasing. “Sachiko and Sayu Yagami.” Light froze, was he serious? “You’ll ask me why and I explain it to you. Near knows that Yagami is alive and he still thinks Yagami _is_ Kira. If Yagami was Kira and if he had the notebooks, he wouldn’t use them to kill his family, am I right?”

“Yes...” Light barely whispered, still shocked about Mello’s plan.

“So if they die... another person must own at least one of the notebooks. Near will freak out-“

“Mello you can’t ask me this.” Light felt a lump in his throat. “How can you be so cruel?” His father had to die because he fought Kira, but Sayu and Sachiko were innocent.

“Cruel? That’s called mercy, Light. Your mother’s a wreck since your father died and your sister got massive psychological harm after the kidnapping. How do you think they feel now, knowing their beloved Raito is dead?”

Light stood up and shoved Mello against the wall. “Yeah and who’s to blame?” He clenched his fingers around Mello’s neck. “You kidnapped Sayu and my father died because of you!” Light growled and tightened the grip around his throat. “Don’t make me regret saving you!” Mello’s eyes watered and he choked; Light let him go.

“Well then, asshole! Write my name in the notebook! You’re on your own now, all you can do is using your stupid notebook and hide from Near.” Mello snapped. “And by the way, I thought we were over it.”

Light walked nervously through the room, picked up his boxer shorts and put them on. He tossed Mello’s in his face. “Get dressed.” Light commanded; he wasn’t going to do something like _this_ naked.

Light sat down again and Mello gave him a gold Montblanc fountain pen. “Think about it, Light. It’s an act of mercy.” Mello paused. “You yourself said Kira is merciful.”

“Yes, I said that.” Light felt as if his world was slowly falling apart.

“Then do it.” Mello’s ice eyes sparked coldly. “And I’ll give you name and face of one of the SPK agents.”

“But these are two names-“

“I take it as a payment in advance.” Mello interrupted him. “And there’s a third name. Misa Amane.”

“But why? She didn’t do anything wrong!”

“If you ever really cared about her, do it. Light, she suffers because of you. I know what it means.” Mello sighed. “I wanted someone to do it with me...” _‘And to join Matt in death... but I’m trapped here now.’_

“Can I have coffee...? I really need to realise what’s going on.” Light pinched the bridge of his nose.

Mello hit the power button and waited until the coffee machine was ready. Light turned off the TV and stared at Mello’s laptop screen, a picture of him and Matt the wallpaper on the desktop. Did Mello want him to suffer like he had to? Was this just his infamous vengeance? He knew he shouldn’t trust the blonde. Mello had again deceived Light with his angelic face, and in truth he was nothing but a demon, his intents evil and sadistic.

Mello served Light coffee and put a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t make them die of heart attack. Let Sayu commit suicide and your mother die of heartbreak. You can make this happen through the notebook, right?” Light nodded and sipped the coffee.

“And Misa?”

“Suicide.” Mello walked to the small shrine. “Take your time, I’ll pray for their souls in the meantime.” The blonde knelt down and folded his hands.

 

Light opened the notebook and stared at the blank page for a while. He wasn’t really sure what to write, _if_ to write what Mello requested, or simply write Mello’s name and put an end to all this. But the blonde was right, he was on his own now, alone and against the world. His fingers played with the pen, the item was quite heavy and a small M was engraved on the top, a ruby was encrusted on the cap. Mello and his faible for fancy stuff, he should have known it better to not rely on a shallow person like him. Light took his time to write two names he hoped to never read in the notebook, and gave all three of them a painless death.

 

“... have mercy for Sayu, Sachiko and Misa and welcome them in your kingdom, wrap your cloak around them because we’re all your children. Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for our sinners now and at the hour of our death...” Mello’s words prayed for the three persons who were going to die through his and Light’s hand, but his heart prayed for Matt. He held the cross of his rosary tightly in his hands, the ashes of his lover still inside and seemed to warm up each time he touched the cross.

 

A while later Mello turned and saw Light still sitting at the desk, his head leaning on it. Mello neared him carefully and put his hand on Light’s head. The former brunette looked up, tears were running from his eyes. He wrapped his arms around Mello’s waist and rested his head on his stomach.

“It hurts so much, Mello.” Light sobbed, his voice broken.

“I know...” Mello whispered and caressed gently his hair. “But it was the right thing to do.” Light nodded and sighed loud, his arms tightened around Mello.

“I feel like a part of me died.”

“This is a new era with a new Kira. Like the evolution of God... while he was strict and ruthless in the Old Testament, he evolved into a merciful and compassionate God, sacrificed his own son for his love to mankind.” Mello murmured soft words of comfort in Light’s hair. “You’ll be stronger, and you’re not that vulnerable anymore. You made the extreme sacrifice and you survived.”

Light wiped tears from his face but couldn’t stop crying. “I’m alone now... I lost all my loved ones.”

Mello knelt in front of Light and cupped his chin. “You’re not...” It was strange to see the usually controlled and distant Light so broken and frail. _‘At least he has a heart...’_ “I care for you, Light... Raito... I really do.”

Light pulled him close and kissed him. Now he understood when Mello was feeling lost and his constant need of solace. The blonde embraced him tightly, pulled him closer and deepened their kiss. He brushed his lips on Light’s cheek. “I have something that makes you feel better.”

Light looked in Mello’s ice blue eyes, they were not compassionate and kind like just before. They were cold, calculating, sent shivers down Light’s spine.

“A name and a picture.” Mello sniggered evilly. Light felt fire lighting up in him, his amber eyes sparked like burning stars and he laughed. He pulled Mello closer, cupped his cheeks and leaned his forehead against his and laughed out loud.

Ryuk was squashed against the window and observed the whole scene; his red shinigami eyes lit up and he laughed as well.

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to Kodoku/Solitude from Death Note OST while writing the last part. I think it fits a lot)  
> https://youtu.be/AcChx2VOPWA  
> \---
> 
> Artwork by me as usual (Light, what are you doing?)  
> It's just a quickdraw so it's not very accurate
> 
> \---
> 
> Symbolic meaning of the Serpent:  
> Serpent has both negative and positive meanings, death and rebirth, venom and medicine, release and purification, evil and good.  
> It represents also sexual desire, vengeance and protection.  
> The most important depiction is the Ourobouros, symbol of eternity and the All-in-one. 
> 
> So hard to say who is the Serpent and who the victim.
> 
> \---
> 
> I can't help but Mello's 100% an ass man
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	17. The price

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything has a price. Depends how much one wants to pay for what he wants.  
> Light's final purpose is to rule over the world as Kira; Mello to avenge Matt's death and eliminate Near, both are willing to do whatever it costs.
> 
> Light reflects on a lot of things and puts Mello in his place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sucker love is heaven sent.  
> You pucker up, our passion's spent.  
> My hearts a tart, your body's rent.  
> My body's broken, yours is bent.
> 
> Carve your name into my arm.  
> Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed.
> 
> [Placebo - Every you every me] <3  
> https://youtu.be/4YR_Mft7yIM
> 
> \---
> 
> Warning: the first sex scene is VERY dubious consent.  
> Mello always used his body to get what he wanted (money, infrormation, freedom), the only person he made love with was Matt. Plus Mello has some tendencies to self-destruction (not self mutilation; but to feel pain as a mode to make up for his sins or the need to not feel emptiness)

**29 November 2009, SPK headquarters, NYC**

 

“... I’ll be waiting for you.” Mello smirked and snapped a piece of chocolate.

“Ah, right.” Near twisted a strand of white hair around his fingers.

The blonde left the SPK headquarters and grinned. Carefully he touched the button of his feathered Prada coat and removed the micro spy cam from it. _‘You really thought my picture for that information was a fair deal, sheep?’_ Mello licked a piece of chocolate. He held the spy cam between his fingers. God bless Matt and his technology obsession. _‘Sometimes old school methods are the best ones.’_ The blonde bit off another piece of chocolate and sucked it. It wasn’t proper cheating what he did, it was just a pre-emptive move to cover his and Matt’s asses.

 

 

**14 February, Tokyo**

 

Misa Amane killed herself by jumping from a roof of one of Tokyo’s highest buildings. She declared in a letter that she couldn’t live without the love of her life. Misa’s body was found completely unrecognizable.

 

 

**Night from 14 to 15 February, Tokyo**

Sayu Yagami killed herself by cutting her veins while taking a bath at night. She left a written note where she explained she didn’t want to live without her adored brother and that she loved him more than anyone else in the world.

Sachiko Yagami found Sayu bled out and died of heartbreak because both her children were everything to her, and she couldn’t stand the pain of surviving her own family.

 

 

 

**14 February, Los Angeles**

Light reflected about all his actions since he had found the notebook. Mello was lying on the bed, he had fallen asleep while playing with Matt's PSP. The error to rely on Mello was fatal. Light knew he shouldn’t trust a shallow and vain person like him; one who just cared about appearance, expensive clothes from luxury brands, exclusive clubs, drugs and quality alcohol. That was Mello’s life and nothing more, playing the emotional boy was just a facade. Ironically there were no mirrors in the whole house except for the one over the sink in the bathroom and the full body mirror in the shower. Light didn’t dare to imagine why Matt and Mello had a mirror in there. He also was glad that in the end, Mello didn't fuck him last night, Light just wanted it because he was high on hormones, and maybe still alienated from the trip. The blonde and his vicious tongue had to stay away from his ass, as well as reality-distorting drugs.

Light stared at the laptop screen, the picture of Matt and Mello bugged him not indifferently. He tried to hack Mello’s computer but couldn’t enter the system. Of course not, he remembered that Matt was a hacker with bells and whistles. He surely secured Mello’s laptop.

Light rifled through Mello’s books and belongings, found some letters, most of them written in Cyrillic which he could not read. _‘I should have known it better to study Russian instead of French at school.’_ He found a sort of journal full of notes and newspaper clippings about the so-called serial killer Beyond Birthday or Rue Ryuzaki. Mello seemed to be pretty obsessed about this guy, but why?

Light opened the showcase where several firearms were stored and wondered if they were loaded. He took a pistol and held it in his hand, the magazine was full. He had to keep an eye on Mello, if the blonde wanted, he could just shoot him down without much effort. There were also enough assault rifles in his possession to plan a whole massacre.

 

Light sat on the bed next to Mello, watched the sleeping blonde. _'You really are not who you seem, Mello.'_ He put his hand around Mello's throat and tightened the grip around his gullet. _'One single move, and I could end you forever.'_

Mello's eyes snapped open, he grabbed Light's wrist. "Why do you look sad?" Light loosened the grip around Mello's neck but didn't let him free.

"Why don't you?" The blonde snarled, his eyes dull and shiny.

"Because I'm angry." Light growled and moved closer to Mello's face.

"You're angry with me?" Mello smirked mischievously but his eyes were still heartbreaking.

"No, I'm angry with my dead mother and sister!" Light raised slowly to look down to Mello, his fingers tightened again their grip.

The blonde didn't struggle to free himself but his eyes challenged Light. He could feel Light’s rage and the sexual tension between them. "Why don't you get over it? You can't bring them back." Mello sneered. _'Your notebook has no such powers.'_

"Why don't you get over Matt?"

"Ouch." Mello's lips curled into a cunning smirk. "That hurt." Yes, it did hurt, but Mello didn't want to be weak in front of Light now, he was too prideful for that. Light tightened the grip around his gullet and Mello gasped for air. "You want to kill me now, don't you?" He provoked Light shamelessly. _'Have you ever killed someone without the help of your notebook, Light? I highly doubt it.'_

"Yes." Light hissed and studied Mello's daring eyes.

"Come on, then. Fuck me and kill me." Mello provoked him again and licked Light's lips. He let go of Mello's throat but squeezed his cheeks, Mello startled slightly.

"Don't push it, blondie." Light hissed and Mello cupped the back of his head, crashing their lips together. Light ran his fingers through Mello's blonde hair and melted into the kiss, his anger slowly soothed and fading away.

"I don't want to fuck now." Light’s voice sounded miserable. _'I feel horrible. I'm a horrible person.'_

"Then just stay here with me..." Mello kissed Light softly. He rested his head on the blonde's chest, wrapped his arms around his waist. Light felt how Mello's fingers ran softly through his hair and let his thoughts flow. "I didn't make you do it to cause you suffering." Mello whispered and kissed the top of Light's head. It was not a lie, he really thought Light was less emotional.

 _Suffering_. Ironically the situation between Light and Mello had switched in one single moment. At the beginning it was Light who comforted Mello, or pretended to, and now Mello was consoling him. But was the blonde faking as well? Light smelled the scent of Mello's skin, it made him feel a bit better.

 _'Do you want to be a loved or a feared god?'_ Light asked Kira.

 _I want to be both, I want to be feared and loved, because I want their respect and their devotion._ Kira answered and Light tightened the embrace around Mello's waist.

 _'What about mercy?'_ Light wondered and enjoyed Mello’s soft touches.

_The faithful love a merciful god. You had mercy for the blonde and he's already halfway falling for you..._

_'True mercy was to kill him. He’s just a wreck.'_ Light smelled again the scent of Mello’s skin.

 _Sooner or later._ Kira chuckled.

 _'But how much suffering have you created, Kira?'_ Light sighed and was aware that this entire situation occurred because of him and the notebook. Not to mention L, Mello and Near who were fanatically trying to catch Kira, creating even more pain and madness.

 _That's the other side of the coin._ Kira explained but Light already knew the answer. He always knew he had to make a sacrifice sooner or later.

_'Right. There's always a price to pay for everything. And justice has a high price.'_

_You are suffering for all of them. We don't come out of this unscathed, but we're saving the world. We are creating a new perfect world._ Kira went silent again.

Light realised again _he_ was the chosen one, his innate sense of justice led him through his task and gave him strength. _'I suffer for all of them, because Kira is merciful.'_ Light felt Mello's fingers tracing softly along his spine and back again in his hair. _'We're playing the same game, Mello. But I'll win.'_

"I understand how you feel, Light." Mello whispered in his hair.

Light looked up and leaned on his elbows. "Not to diminish your pain, but Matt didn't die through your hand."

"I wasn't talking about him." Mello stated dryly.

Light raised an eyebrow. "Did you kill your parents?"

"No." Mello shook his head and brushed a strand of hair from Light's eyes. "They died for other reasons. But..." Mello sighed and pondered whether telling Light that painful episode of his life. "My grandmother."

Light's mouth dropped open. "But... I thought you loved her."

"Yes... but she got sick with tuberculosis. We were poor as fucking dirt and could not afford necessary treatments." Mello didn't tell him any specifics, or he was going to have another breakdown. "I couldn't see her like that. One night I took a knife and... I killed her." A tear ran down his cheek. “No one knows, not even Matt.” Mello wiped the tear away and kept from crying.

"I'm sorry Mello, I..." Light didn't know what to say. He stared into the blonde's eyes and tried to understand if he was lying or telling the truth. Mello seemed sincere.

"Listen, I didn't tell you this to have your pity, but because I know how you're feeling."

"If you know, then why did you make me do it?" Light snapped. "And don't tell me for mercy because that's not _the_ reason."

"It was for mercy, Light. Not for them but for you." Light tilted his head sideways. "Imagine... if they found out you are Kira, how do you think they reacted?"

Light froze, Mello was right. _'They would hate me. They hated Kira. They would never forgive me for what happened to dad or to Sayu... they would never get over all the lies, all the dead people, everything.'_ "They would blame me for my father's death..."

"They would be disappointed about you, Light..." Mello cupped his chin and Light leaned into his hand.

"They don't understand..." Light sighed. _'They never did. Maybe better if they're gone, after all.'_

"And now there's no possibility to blackmail you anymore. Like I could do when I kidnapped Sayu."

Light nodded and let Mello kiss his forehead. _What doesn't kill you makes you stronger_. Didn't his favourite author write these exact words? Light looked in Mello's sad eyes.

"You and I are alone against the world now." Mello took Light's hand and kissed his fingertips. "But we will win. Together." He interlaced their fingers and lowered his head to meet Light's lips.

Light smiled and melted into Mello's gentle kiss. He knew no price was too high to pay if he was going to win. _'Do another faux-pas like this and you join your dead boyfriend in hell.'_

"So you think Kira should be merciful?"

"You'd take away so much pain from the world."

"Ryuk?" The shinigami lay down on the bed next to them and chuckled as usual. "What do you think about?"

"About what?" The shinigami licked his lips. "I hungry."

"What do you think about killing for mercy?"

"I don't know. I don't care. But some shinigami do kill for mercy." Ryuk shrugged and wondered what Mello was up to. Something weird and entertaining for sure. Seeing Light broken and crying because he killed his own family _was_ entertaining. _‘I really wonder what pretty boy is up to. Humans haunted by a shinigami have nothing but misfortune. Dear Light, seems you’ve found your nemesis.’_ Ryuk and Mello had a short eye exchange but the blonde shot him a glare.

"When Jesus walked among mankind and preached about love and mercy, people thought he was a madman. But he died for us and took our sins away, and the day he will come back, he will eliminate all evil and pain." Mello whispered and caressed Light's hair. "It's not an impossible mission. It depends on what you want, Light. Dystopia or Utopia?"

Mello's words were further confirmation that Light was _the_ chosen one, the one sent to rule over the world like a god. _'But I will not die for mankind like your Jesus...'_

"Think about it." Mello kissed Light again. "You look so tired."

"I'm exhausted..."

Mello checked the alarm clock on the nightstand. "It's 4AM. Let's get some sleep."

Light rolled on Mello's side, the blonde spooned behind him and put one arm around his waist. He kissed the back of Light's neck and traced softly over his chest. Light took Mello's hand and held it in his.

"Sleep, Light." Mello whispered in his hair and felt his own eyes heavy. “I’m here with you...”

Light guessed Mello had fallen asleep, he felt his regular warm breath on his neck. But Light did not sleep, his eyes stared into Ryuk's red pupils. The shinigami had told him, it was an accident that he had found the notebook, but Light knew it was not. He was destined to find it.

 _‘Killing for mercy... it means to eliminate the weak, the sick and the leftovers of society to create a perfect world where only the strongest survive...’_ Light tightened the grip around Mello’s hand. _‘Sayu and mom were against Kira... they’d never accept me for what I’ve become... what I will be.’_ Mello purred behind him and embraced him deeper, their bodies sticking at each other. Light enjoyed the heat surrounding him. _‘You know Mello, without wanting, you made me a great gift. I’ve no weakness anymore, no restraints. I’m stronger than before. Nobody can stop me.’_

 

\---

 

"Where are you going?" Light wondered as Mello left the bathroom dressed in black shirt and elegant tight pants, a cloud of expensive perfume surrounding him.

"To church. Matt's requiem is in an hour."

“Give me five minutes, I come with you.”

Mello raised an eyebrow. “Uhm, no? I want to be alone.” He put the wallet in his pocket and wore his elegant shoes in polished black leather, Light recognized the design from Hugo Boss.

“It wasn’t a question.”

Mello completely ignored Light, he opened the door and was about to leave. Light jumped up and pulled Mello back by his hair. He slammed the door close in front of Mello, his body pushed the blonde against it.

"You go nowhere without my permission." Light purred evilly.

"You're kidding me, right?" Mello tried to free but Light trapped him between his body and the door.

"Oh no, princess." Light inhaled Mello’s spicy fragrance and pinned both Mello's hands over his head. "You still have to pay for what you've done to me." He chuckled and licked Mello's ear. The blonde felt a knot of fear in his throat, his heart started pumping.

 _‘Fuck!’_ "Light, let me go." Mello pushed back but Light grabbed a handful of blonde hair and slammed his head against the door. “Bastard!” Mello groaned of pain and tried to free again but Light knocked his head against the door once more, this time much harder. Mello felt dizzy, his forehead hurt as hell, blood started running from his nose.

Light sneered and undid the buckle of Mello's belt to lower his pants. "You aren't wearing any underwear..." He bit down hard on his shoulder, soaking the fabric of his shirt with saliva. "You're just a needy little whore."

Mello's head was still spinning, but he realised Light had lowered his own pants. "Light, please no..." Mello begged but Light ignored his plea and spat in his hand, coated his cock sloppily with spit and positioned himself in front of Mello's entrance. "Light, you told me Kira is merciful." Mello’s eyes widened as he felt the tip touching his hole.

"Yes." Light pushed in, almost dry and without prepping Mello. The blonde screamed out in pain and a tear ran down his cheek. "But you need to make amends and beg for Kira's forgiveness."

"N-never." Mello felt a burning sensation when Light shoved slowly his whole length in, inch after inch until his base hit Mello’s ass, then he withdrew his cock almost entirely and slammed it back in. Mello cried out again and Light felt fire lighting up in him. “Jebo te Hitler! Jebem ti mrtvu mater u grobu![1]” The blonde insulted Light in his native language. “Shoopchino!”

Light chuckled and pulled Mello’s hair back. “You better shut up or I’ll smash your perfect little teeth.” He purred and rammed his cock into him, a groan of pain escaped Mello’s mouth. “Are you crying?” The blonde kept quiet and didn’t try to break free from his abuser, he was just sighing and panting with the rhythm of Light’s shoves. Light let go his hair and grabbed Mello’s hipbone, thrusting into him without mercy. “See, you can be a good boy when you want...” It felt so liberating, finally Light had his little payback. Not that he really cared anymore, but he liked to subdue the blonde. It was like taming a wild beast, and he felt powerful doing it. “Now prey to Kira with all your heart...”

“O Kira, redeemer and saviour, forgive my sins...” Mello swallowed his pride and let the pain shoot through him, trying to feel alive. But all he felt was numbness, his mind was already turning away from the world, like all the times he had sold his body on the street. It was not much different from what he was doing now. “Count not my transgressions, but, rather, my tears of repentance...” Light’s moves became faster, harder, deeper; he didn’t care about finding Mello’s sensitive spot, nor did he care to stimulate his cock. “Remember not my inequities, but, more especially, my sorrow for the offences I have committed against you.” The blonde panted and felt the metallic taste of blood on his tongue. Light wrapped his arm around Mello’s waist and pulled him closer, pumped slow and violent into the blonde and finally released, growling lowly and sinking teeth into his shoulder.

“Take the corpus Kira, unworthy.” Light murmured and smelled the blonde’s fragrance mixed with humiliation.

Mello sighed of relief as he felt Light’s cock twitching and warm cum shooting into him. Light noticed some blood as he withdrew his softening member. "Let me go, I have to clean myself, can’t run around with cum dribbling down my legs." Light chuckled and shoved two fingers in Mello's ass, pushing sperm and blood back in. Mello groaned loud and felt that his hands started to shake.

"Keep your pretty ass tight because you go to church with my cum in you. And if you dare to confess to your priest, I'll repeat this on the altar in front of all." Light whispered in Mello's ear and patted his butt. "Understood?" The blonde turned and Light met his red and swollen eyes, his nose still bleeding. Mello breathed heavily and felt wrath lighting up in his chest. Light cupped his cheek and kissed softly the scarred part of his face, brushed their noses together. He took his hand and led the blonde to the bathroom. “You can’t go out like this.”

“You’re just lucky I mostly wear black clothes.” Mello snapped and sat on the lowered toilet seat, holding his head up.

Light gently cleaned his face with a cloth and cold water. Then he cupped both Mello’s cheeks and kissed him deeply; Mello grabbed the collar of his t-shirt and pulled him closer.

 

 

Light and Mello walked arm in arm to the church, the blonde was uncharacteristically quiet. Maybe he was upset because of what happened earlier or maybe not, Light didn’t care. He hoped Mello had understood he shouldn’t play games with him. He was slowly going to tame Mello’s rebellious side, Light was sure about that.

“I wait for you here, okay?” Light pointed to a bench in the lawn in front of the huge church.

Mello’s eyes shined, he was glad Light remained outside and left him alone. “Thanks.” He pressed a kiss on his lips and entered the church.

Light took Mello’s book from the pocket of his track pants and sat down on the bench. He searched for the spot where he stopped the previous time and continued to read. This Bukowski was shameless, but he was also funny and entertaining, Ryuk seemed to like it, he giggled and laughed all the time while he was reading with Light. He realised Mello and Ryuk had a lot of things in common, maybe too many. He wondered what Mello would do if Ryuk was his shinigami but put the thought immediately aside.

A ball hit Light’s foot and he looked up, a little girl ran towards him. “S-sorry!” She squeaked.

Light picked up the ball and held it to the girl. “Don’t worry.” The girl was either Hispanic or Native American, Light couldn’t tell. She was probably six or seven years old.

“Thanks!” The girl took the ball and looked at him with her big brown eyes.

“What are you doing here all alone?”

“My parents are working and I’m waiting for the other children to come out and play with me after the mass.” The girl swung on her feet.

“You don’t go to church?” Light wondered and the girl shook her head.

“They don’t want me in there because I have two mothers.”

“That’s not nice.” Light opened the book again but the girl remained there and stared at him. Light looked up and smiled gently and she smiled back. “You are so beautiful.”

Of course she said that. Children loved Light, especially girls. And Light liked children, in particular when they had the look of innocence in their eyes like this girl. “You too. What is your name?”

“Sol. And you?”

“I’m Leo, nice to meet you, Sol. You have a beautiful name.”

“It’s the Spanish word for sun.” Sol smiled and blinked with her eyes. “Are you a prince?”

Light laughed wholeheartedly. “Something like that.”

“Leo, do you want to meet my mothers? They work there.” She pointed to a food truck a bit further away. _‘Why not? I could need coffee... or tea.’_ Sol took his hand and led Light to the food truck.

Sol was a lively girl, she talked and giggled and jumped all the way to the truck. Light became aware that he actually hoped to have own children one day. He had to pass his sceptre to someone else when he was gone, it was the only way to ensure his immortality, and only someone with his genes could rule over the world. Light also wondered if Matt and Mello had planned to adopt children. They were both orphans, so maybe they had a thing for abandoned kids. Mello also told him once he and Matt were engaged, probably they planned to have a family as well. _‘Even if blondie’s kinda selfish and shallow... can’t really imagine him taking care of someone else.’_

Light met Sol’s mothers, one was patently Hispanic and the other probably mulatto, both not much older than him. He bought green tea and his eyes found an _I support Kira_ sticker on the truck.

“You’re Kiranians?”

“Yes.” The mulatto answered. “Kira is strict but fair. Kira does not care if you’re poor or rich, black or white, man or woman. Kira punishes all wrongdoers, and we want Sol to grow up in a world without rotten people.”

“I do support Kira as well.” Light took a sip of tea. “I hope Kira’s coming back soon.”

“You’re not American, right?” Light nodded, his English was quite perfect but of course he had a slight accent in his pronounce. “You should visit the Kira shrine.”

“Kira shrine?” Light raised an eyebrow.

“It’s just outside LA, on the road to Palm Springs.”

 _‘Interesting...’_ Light paid for the tea. He was surprised to find out about a shrine dedicated to Kira, but he shouldn’t wonder, in California everything had a church or a shrine. _‘Mello never told me about that...’_

“You want to play with me?” Sol tugged Light’s t-shirt.

“Sol, don’t bother him.”

“It’s okay, really.”

 

 

The mass was over and people streamed out of the church but Mello was not among them. Light felt angry already, the blonde either sneaked out or was confessing to the priest. He greeted Sol and entered the church.

Mello was sitting on one of the benches in front of the altar, his face buried in his hands. The altar boys were putting things away, the old priest was not to see. “Mello.” Light sat down next to him and put his arms around the blonde’s shoulders. Mello sobbed loud and Light embraced him tightly. “It’s me, Mello. You’re not alone.” The blonde leaned in his embrace and cried, Light gently stroked his hair.

Mello calmed down a little and Light leaned their foreheads together; he wiped tears from his eyes and kissed gently his lips. Mello cupped Light’s cheek and pressed their lips together once more.

“What you are doing is a sin!” The priest warned them angrily, Light shot him a glare.

_‘How dare he to talk to me like that.’_

“Mr. Vasiliev, we have to talk about your donation to our church for holding a requiem to a sinner.”

Mello fisted his hands but Light intervened. “I take care of it, Mello. Wait outside.” The blonde did as he said, before leaving the church, he dipped the rosary in holy water and crossed himself.

“Who are you?” Father Juan snapped at Light.

 _‘You insolent.’_ Light stood up and took out his wallet. “That’s not your business.” He threw some bills on the ground and the priest picked it up and counted it greedily.

“You know what Kira does to people like you?” Light whispered and locked Father Juan’s eyes with his.

“Kira has no power here. God protects me.” Father Juan crossed himself.

“We’ll see...”

“Kira is the Antichrist!” Father Juan warned but Light turned and ignored him.

_‘Your God does not exist. But Kira is real.’_

 

Light met Mello outside, he had shaky hands and tried to roll a cigarette. “Fuck...” He broke the rolling paper. _‘I need a fucking shot.’_

“Come on, put that poison away.” Light took Mello’s hand and led him to the food truck and bought him a chocolate ice-cream cone.

“You’re a cute couple.” The mulatto smiled at them.

“We are not-“

“Thank you.” Light interrupted Mello and smiled back. Sol ran towards them and told them they looked like beautiful princes. Mello really wondered why the usually arrogant asshole was kind to this people.

 

\---

 

Mello closed the door behind them, leaned his still hurting forehead against it. He was mentally exhausted and needed to rest. He had hoped to have an hour or two of freedom, but he was still Light’s captive, and Light intended to let him feel that _every_ moment. On the other side, having Light’s comfort and support in the church felt good, having him close gave him a little solace.

Mello turned and Light stood there in front of him, their eyes looking deeply into each other. Light stepped closer, cupped softly his scarred cheek, thumb ghosting over his lips. Mello felt Light’s breath on his skin, their eyes still locking the others. The blonde pulled him down and devoured his mouth.

Light fumbled at Mello’s belt and unzipped his pants while drinking Mello’s kisses. Mello kicked shoes and pants away, threw his arms around Light’s neck. Light lowered his own sweats to his knees, grabbed firmly Mello’s ass and pulled him up, backing him against the door. The blonde opened his legs and wrapped them around Light’s waist. Light traced over the back of Mello’s thighs and held him up, felt dried cum on his skin. Light almost smirked self-satisfied, this time though, he wasn’t going to be rude to him.

Light parted his lips from Mello’s and felt how the blonde tried to catch them back, but Light shoved two fingers in his mouth. Mello sucked and moaned softly; Light felt sticky saliva, the hard metal stud in his flesh, and he hardened fully. He gently pushed his fingers into Mello’s ass, the blonde moaned loud.

 _‘Sure you can take it?’_ Light wanted to ask but something about their silence was perfect; he just wanted to hear Mello’s moans. Light withdrew his fingers and entered him carefully until he was fully sheathed. He looked in Mello’s eyes and saw arson behind the thick layer of ice; Mello instead perceived fierce cold deep in Light’s warm and shiny amber eyes.

Light fucked Mello against the door, his fingers squeezed his butt cheeks while he was rocking his hips, not particularly fast but very intense. Mello seemed not to complain, his soft moans instead encouraged him to continue like that.

Light started to feel uncomfortable and walked them both to the bed, stumbled in Mello’s pants, and they both fell into the mattress, Light still into him. He pushed Mello’s legs up until his knees were touching his shoulders and rocked deeper into him, hitting the blonde’s spot of pleasure.

Mello moaned loud and panted hard as Light hit his prostate over and over again, he finally was releasing all his tension and reached his climax fast and without forewarning. Cum shot on his own stomach and ran down till his chest.

Light felt Mello’s insides tightening, withdrew his cock and shoved it into Mello’s half-open mouth. The blonde hummed around him, Light thrust deep in until he reached his throat. Mello grabbed his ass and sucked hard while Light moved in and out. Mello pulled him down and blew him to his orgasm, Light groaned loud and came in his mouth. The blonde drank him greedily, licked all traces of cum from his cock, then Light collapsed next to him. Mello tried to clean his chest from his own sperm before it dried, but Light pulled him down and kissed him.

Light embraced Mello tightly and pulled him close, so very close that Mello could feel his heartbeat. Light kissed the blonde’s forehead and closed his eyes. Mello buried his face in Light’s neck, smelled his scent, _their_ scent mixed with the odour of sex and sweat, his ears listened to the regular breath, his trembling body enjoyed the heat streaming from Light.

 

 

Mello couldn’t find any sleep, his mind was still overloaded with emotions and memories. His fingertips traced softly over all the lines of Light’s muscles, but then he started to get bored. Careful to not wake up Light, he left the bed and filled a mug with milk, heating it in the microwave. He quickly exchanged the elegant shirt for a comfortable hoodie, it was Matt’s and the letters SEXY NERD decorated its front. It still smelled of Matt, Mello smiled and felt a small kiss on his scarred cheek. Mello looked in Matt’s big blue eyes. _‘I miss you so much...’_ He felt a stitch in his heart and closed his eyes, he didn’t want to cry now. _Don’t cry, I’ll always be with you, Miško._ Mello added soluble chocolate to the warm milk and took a small gold case from the shelf. Mello sat on the cushions, took out a small sachet from the case; his shaky hands cut the powder and tried to form a thin line on the small mirror. The blonde snorted the line with a metal straw, then backed against the wall and closed his eyes. It was maybe the first time Mello realised that Matt was dead and gone forever; he would never let him go, though. He wiped a tear that was running down his cheek. _‘I’d do anything to have you back...’_

Mello waited a short while until the felt the drug rushing through his system, his pain slightly soothed, his feelings numbed. He reached for his laptop and switched it on.

“Can’t sleep, pretty boy?” Ryuk lay on the cushions in front of him.

“No...” Mello opened the instant messaging program.

m_Queen: _you on?_

“How come?”

“Dunno.” Mello sighed. Was he really opening up to the shinigami? “Do shinigami experience feelings like love?”

“Probably.” Ryuk chuckled. “They say so. But I think it’s not the same as for you humans.” Ryuk’s long tongue slid out and licked over his blue lips. Mello shivered, that demon was really ugly. “Only weak shinigami fall in love.” He laughed and made a back flip.

 _‘Of course. You’re an emissary of Satan.’_ Mello touched his rosary and murmured some words to protect himself from evil. “Where do you come from, actually?”

“From the Shinigami Realm.”

“And where is that?” Mello raised an eyebrow. _‘In hell for sure...’_

“On another dimension. It’s an ugly place. The Earth is much more interesting.” The shinigami kicked his feet in the air and swung on his back while telling Mello how the Shinigami Realm looked like.

 _‘Hell for sure.’_ Mello shivered, it seemed to be an awful place. “And who created you? Why are you a shinigami?” He always wished to talk to a supernatural being, asking about God and his endless mercy and love, or about the Devil and his betrayal. _‘What if he was there when all this happened?’_

“I don’t know. I can’t even remember.”

“You’re useless.” Mello rolled his eyes and took a sip of hot chocolate. “How did you end up with Light?”

zolpidem87: _yes im here_

Mello read the message out of the corner of his eye, trying to make look less obvious what he was doing.

“I dropped a notebook and Light picked it up.” Ryuk explained and Mello listened carefully while writing.

m_Queen: _ive a job for you_

zolpidem87: _kiras directions?_

m_Queen: _yes_

Mello checked if Ryuk was looking at him but the shinigami was busy doing flips forth and back all the time. “Did you choose Light?” Mello asked him to distract Ryuk while he was writing.

Ryuk chuckled. “No. It was a coincidence.”

“Are you satisfied with your pick?” Mello typed on his laptop, giving Zhandos directions about what to do and that they will talk soon again. Mello knew Light was going to freak out when he’ll find out that he is doing all this behind his back, but Mello was also sure that he’ll forgive him because his plan was brilliant. It was not his intent to destroy Kira, at least not for now.

“Yes. Light killed more people than anyone else. Dozens of thousands of people.” Ryuk laughed and made a headstand. “He entertained me a lot in the past seven years. And now you are entertaining him.” The shinigami sneered and Mello grimaced.

The blonde checked time on the corner of the laptop screen. _‘It should be time soon.’_ Something triggered him, and he searched for a USB drive in the drawers. “I need a little privacy.” He gestured to Ryuk to leave him alone. Mello selected a video from the drive and hit the play button. His hands slipped in his boxer-shorts and began stroking his cock while watching one of his and Matt’s sex tapes. It was one of their countless role-playing games, where the blonde submitted the redhead. But as Mello closed his eyes, he imagined subduing Light.

 

 

**15 February, Tokyo**

Stephen Loud, also known as Stephen Gevanni shot himself in the head. He left a written note where he explained that he decided to end his own life because the Kira case created too much suffering. He also declared that Kira was maybe not the enemy, too many people lost their lives in this crazy chasing after someone who was impossible to find. His money and belongings were donated to orphans of the third-world.

 

* * *

 

[1] Hitler fucked you. I fuck your dead mother in a grave. – asshole!

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my headcanon Light loves Nietzsche.
> 
> Also both of them have a faible for expensive clothing and perfumes. Mello's fragrance is Paco Rabanne One Million and he loves fancy clothing from luxury brands. His favs are Versace (because of the black/gold combo), YSL and Hugo Boss for elegant clothes.  
> Light loves Italian and French luxury brands, like Valentino, Kenzo and YSL for casual clothing and Armani for elegant gear. His favourite perfume is Acqua di Gio from Giorgo Armani  
> \--- 
> 
> REFS and stuff:
> 
> The spy cam Mello's using is something similar to this one (micro spy cam used by Stasi)  
> https://cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/140814112432-berlin-spies-11-horizontal-large-gallery.jpg
> 
> one of Matt's guns (the one Light is holding at the beginning) is a Zastava M88  
> (Serbian firearms)  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zastava_M88
> 
> \---
> 
> The drawing is by me as usual. The quote is from Shakespeare.  
> Mello's rosary and halo, and Light's eyes are painted with 18K gold (not visible here)  
> Who is Angel and who is Demon?
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	18. In conspiracy with Kira

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It finally time to reveal the cards. Mello was plotting behind Light's back with G and J, was it to frame him or to join him as Kira?
> 
> (Plotty plot chapter and a little MxM scene)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I heard the angels cry  
> I watched the witches fly  
> I saw the clouds of death  
> Slowly blackening the sky
> 
> I read the book of spell  
> I chimed death's ancient bell  
> And when I die I have a place  
> Reserved in hell
> 
> I ride the bloodstained goat  
> I let the brewage float  
> I have seen the reaper's face  
> And walked through eternal haze
> 
> [Bathory - In conspiracy with satan]

* * *

 

 

**Mid-January, Tokyo, Japan**

 

Mello walked up the stairs of the lousy hostel where he and Matt were staying during their trip to Japan. It was an ugly place, the kind of cheap hostel where students used to stay, but it was perfect for them to go unnoticed. Matt and Mello had the average student age, no one cared about them there.

Mello was exhausted. The whole day he had spied on the current L, his suspicions about him being Kira gained every day more evidences. He slowly stepped up the stairs; he was cold and tired, all he wanted now was relaxing while taking a hot bath and having a few drinks with his boyfriend.

The blonde opened the door to their apartment-like room, but all he saw was Matt sleeping on the couch and a bong standing on the small coffee table. He went mad as smelled the stench of weed.

“Matt!” Mello yelled and slammed the door. The redhead opened one eye and looked at him, the goggles were dangling from his neck. “You lazy asshole!”

Matt tried to sit up but failed. His red rimmed eyes told Mello he was totally stoned. “Oi Mells, don’t yell at me.” The redhead groaned and closed his eyes again.

Mello grabbed the collar of Matt’s striped shirt and pulled him up to sit. “I was out in the fucking cold the whole day! All you had to do was to listen to the spy bugs!” Mello shook Matt roughly; he felt his fingers itching from rage. “You haven’t done that either!”

Matt couldn’t stand when his boyfriend got mad and yelled at him. Fortunately, Matt was the reflective one between the two of them; he was the only one who understood Mello’s vexed personality, the sole that managed to calm him down. Matt had noticed that lately Mello was on edge. They were so close to their goal but the situation was tricky and Mello never dealt well with stress. He got touchy and hysteric, drank too much and ate too less. Matt really hoped it would be over soon, the blonde had already lost enough weight.

“You get what I’m saying, you idiot?” Mello’s icy eyes were burning with wrath, Matt remained calm and stood up.

“Mel.” The redhead cupped both his cheeks and kissed him. The blonde tried to resist but Matt pulled him close, forced his tongue into his mouth. Mello let Matt take the lead of their kiss, his hands slipped under his coat and stroked his back. “Don’t be bitchy, princess.” Matt whispered and caressed softly Mello’s scarred cheek.

“Don’t call me princess.” Mello protested but Matt stopped his mouth with a kiss.

“Don’t call me idiot or asshole when were not fucking. I’m not your toe-rag.”

“Sorry babe...” Mello sighed and laid his head on Matt’s shoulders. The redhead took off his heavy coat, sat on the couch and pulled the blonde on his lap. Mello let Matt stroke his hair, he felt how his anger was slowly fading away. “I’ve done my job as well today.” Matt told him and kissed his temple. “I was celebrating for that.”

Mello raised his head and looked at Matt, his glance confused. “What do you mean?”

Matt leaned forwards, hand still holding his blonde boyfriend firmly by his waist. He reached for the laptop and switched it on, then he grabbed the pack of cigarettes and a chocolate bar from the coffee table. Matt lit up a cigarette and typed something on the keyboard. Mello sat next to Matt so the hacker could place the laptop on his legs.

“What’s this?” Mello unwrapped the chocolate bar and snapped off a piece, sucking at it.

Matt pulled from the cigarette and exhaled a big cloud of smoke. “I did it Mells. I restored and cracked all of L’s data files about the Kira case.”

“You didn’t.” Mello browsed through the files, he couldn’t believe it. Matt had finally made it.

Matt chuckled, he was sure Mello would react like this. “I did. And all of your suspicions are confirmed. The current L and Kira _is_ the same person and his name is _Yagami Light_.”

Mello’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open, he put the chocolate bar on the table and snatched the cigarette from Matt’s hands while browsing incredulously through the secret files that once belonged to L. And Matt was right, all his intuitions and sensations have proved to be true. Matt kissed Mello’s neck, his nose brushed his ear.

“Can I get rewarded?”

Mello put the laptop aside, he was going to check everything later. Now he just wanted Matt, _his_ Matt. “Oh babe...” He pulled his boyfriend closer and kissed him deeply. “You’re the best, do you know it?”

“Yes, princess.” Matt gave him a cocky smile. “And I’ve the best-looking boyfriend.”

Mello was already on his knees between Matt’s legs, kissing his lower belly. Matt took the cigarette from his fingers and pulled a couple of times before extinguishing it in the ashtray. Mello slipped off Matt’s skinny jeans and looked lustful from the almost hard cock to Matt’s deep blue eyes.

Matt shivered at the sight of Mello’s lecherous glance, at his malicious demon-like face. The blonde ran his hand on Matt’s thighs and hooked his knees over his shoulders. Mello lowered his head and ran his tongue along his whole length. Matt groaned loud and ran his fingers through the blonde long hair as Mello took him in his mouth.

Mello loved his boyfriend’s cock, it was so similar to his in length and thickness but so different without foreskin. Mello adored its taste and the way it felt in his mouth; he could blow Matt all day long, and he did it as much as possible.

Matt adored Mello’s gifted mouth, loved how his soft lips felt around his hard cock, how his pierced tongue licked every inch of it and, in particular, when played with its head. Matt liked it when Mello carefully ran his teeth along his dick, or when the blonde deep-throated him while he fingered his ass. He liked everything about it, Mello gave the best blowjobs and Matt considered himself blessed.

Matt lit up another cigarette and Mello took advantage of the brief distraction to coat his index and middle finger with saliva, shoving them right into his boyfriend’s ass. Matt groaned loud while exhaling a cloud of smoke. Mello sucked again at his cock, his fingers found immediately Matt’s prostate.

“Fuck Mells!” Mello added a third finger; Matt panted and threw his head back, closed his eyes and pulled again from the cigarette. Mello’s lips ran along his shaft, Matt felt his tip deep in his throat. Mello fingered him slow but powerfully, his digits hit Matt’s sensitive spot at each thrust.

Matt’s moans started to sound louder, his hand pulled at the blonde’s hair. He didn’t want to come yet, but Mello was _too_ good, Matt couldn’t hold back. He felt his cock twitching and then shooting cum in the blonde’s mouth. Mello drank him greedily as always, he carefully withdrew his fingers from his lover’s rear.

Mello rose slowly and took off his tight leather pants, he sat on Matt’s lap. The redhead was still panting but kissed the blonde’s wet and swollen lips. Mello rolled his hips on top of him and Matt got hard again.

“Where’s the lube?” Mello whispered in his mouth and Matt’s hand felt around to find the small bottle in between all the cushions on the couch. The blonde poured a small amount of sticky liquid on his hand and coated Matt’s length with it, then he guided him in and sat down until he felt the base of his cock.

“Fuck...” Matt moaned loud and squeezed Mello’s ass. The blonde leaned forwards and started to slowly ride his boyfriend, he felt Matt’s hands touching him everywhere. “Fuck, Miško...” Matt never lasted long when he was inside Mello. It didn’t often happen and the blonde was mostly on top, riding him. He needed control, needed to command in bed like outside. But whatever Mello did felt amazing and Matt could never get enough of him. He cupped Mello’s cheeks and kissed him. “Volim te...”

 

They were both relaxing in the small tub and Mello could finally enjoy a hot bath. He was sitting between Matt’s legs, the redhead massaged his tense shoulders.

“You feel better?”

Mello nodded and turned to Matt, he had a worried look in his icy eyes. Matt brushed blonde strands of damp hair out of his boyfriend’s face, traced gently the scar on his cheek. He loved it, like he loved every part of Mello’s body. The mark was a symbol of his fighting spirit. Mello hated the scar, it made him feel ugly and disfigured.

“You’re beautiful.” Matt told him sincerely and Mello kissed his fingertips, smiling softly. “You’re worried?” The blonde didn’t answer and leaned forward, he needed to feel Matt’s arms around him. Matt knew that if Mello didn’t talk, if he was too quiet, he was worried and anxious. “We get that fucker, Mel. I’ll skin him alive with my own hands for making you go through all this shit.” Mello looked up and bit on his lower lip. “He’ll have to pay for everything.” And it was true because Matt could be _very_ nasty if someone crossed the line and his line was Mello. Matt’s attitude towards Kira changed drastically after the explosion. He worked day and night at the Kira case while taking care of his badly injured boyfriend. Matt will never forget the screams of agony when he had to rip off the leather vest, tearing burnt skin from his flesh.

Matt felt Mello’s warm breath on his lips, then his mouth on his, kissing him hungrily. The blonde sat between Matt’s legs and threw his thighs around his waist; his cock slipped into him without much effort. Matt groaned loud as Mello started to move forth and back, he wrapped his arms around his neck and kept him close. The tub was small and with each move, water slashed everywhere. They were going to make a mess, but they did not care. They wanted to feel each other, needed to melt their bodies till it became one.

 

 

**Mid-February, Los Angeles, California**

 

“Yagami!” Light was reading about the news in Japan on his laptop as he heard the blonde yelling his name. “I need you to go and call for Jo and Rio.”

“Excuse me?” Light widened his eyes and stared at Mello.

“Come on. I just painted my nails. There’s something odd about my hardware.” Mello waved his hands to let the polish dry.

Light raised an eyebrow. “Can you not wait till it’s dry? Am I your damn errand boy?”

“Can you not do me a favour for once?” The blonde snapped. “Rio’s gonna make you Greek coffee for sure, come on!”

The former brunette rolled his eyes and shook his head. “You’re up for something.”

“No.” Mello blinked innocently with his ice blue eyes and Light decided he had no patience to discuss with him. The blonde could be quite insufferable.

 

 

“I really don’t know how you can deal with this.”

“With what?” Jonnie was sitting upside down and had the laptop on her stomach.

“About Mello and _him_...”

Jonnie shrugged and pulled from the joint. “It’s his ass, not mine.”

“Matt’s corpse is still warm and Mello is already involved with another man!”

Light was walking up the stairs but kept quiet as he heard Georgios’ deep voice talking.

“Don’t tell me it’s okay!”

“Well he needs to get over it, ja? Let him fuck. The guy’s hot. I’m jealous.” The sheboy’s squeaky voice snapped; Light smirked self-confidently. He couldn’t help but compliments about his appearance flattered him immensely.

“Matt was like a brother to you. How can you see that so easy?”

“What shall I do? I can’t blame him. And honestly it’s better if he’s involved with another one than crying all the time about Matt. I’ve already issues getting over it myself.” Jonnie barked and pulled again from the joint. “I’ve other things to do than cheering him up. Ever heard of hair of the dog?”

 _‘Jonnie is quite a bitch.’_ Light noticed for himself. _‘No wonder he and Mello get along well.’_

Georgios crushed a huge amount of weed in the metal grinder. “I don’t know if you get the severity of the situation. Mel looks at _him_ like he looked at Matt. He’s falling for him!” The Greek rolled a thick joint and lit it up.

Jonnie sat up straight and stared at her roommate, her eyes shining more green than hazel right now. “I _am_ fully aware of the situation. Do you know what Matt once told me?” Georgios shook his head. Light stepped closer to hear as well since the sheboy had lowered her voice. “Mello has never slept with anyone besides Matt. He only fucked for money or for his own agenda, but _never_ because he wanted it.”

Georgios raised an eyebrow, gazing incredulously at his friend. “Do you believe that?”

“Ja.” Jonnie nodded. “He’s emotional. He needs feelings.”

Light almost stumbled upon something on the untidy terrace in front of the entrance. Maybe they didn’t hear him inside, but he decided to not push his luck; he had already heard enough. Jonnie had revealed something _very_ interesting without knowing it and Light was going to use this for his own advantage. “Guys?” He announced his own presence and knocked at the open door. “It’s me, Leo.”

“Hyyyy!” Jonnie jumped up and threw her arms around Light. “How are you? Where’s Melli?”

“He sent me to call for you, he needs your help with his PC.”

Georgios and Jonnie briefly exchanged glances. “Sure. You want a cup of coffee?” Georgios was the typical Mediterranean host, he liked to pamper his guests.

“Thank you.” Light was curious about the Greek coffee Mello had mentioned earlier.

“Come sit with me!” Jonnie squeaked and pointed to the cushions on the floor. “I was composing a new song, wanna hear it?”

“Sure. Why not.” Light gave her a charming smile, he liked it to have the cheerful sheboy around, looking at him with adoring eyes.

“Jonny?” She offered him the joint but Light politely declined. “But I’ll show you my ganja plants on the balcony!”

 

 

Mello switched on his laptop and contacted Zhandos.

m-Queen: _keep ready. in one hour you’ll get an online call here_

While waiting for an answer, the blonde made coffee and smoked a cigarette. His eyes found Matt’s portrait on the photo wall, he took it and smiled softly. It was the first time he noticed that all of their pictures were either of Mello or of both of them but never of Matt alone. He had to keep this Polaroid picture safely, it showed Matt so wonderfully, his deep blue eyes shined so bright. Mello remembered to have a gold-plated photo frame somewhere and looked for it. He put the picture in the precious framework and placed it on the small shrine next to the Mary figurine. Mello crossed himself and sent a silent prayer to the Archangel and the Holy Virgin.

An icon popped up on the laptop screen and a low beeping called Mello back to reality.

zolpidem87: _alright_

m-Queen: _youll talk to kira_

zolpidem87: _ill wait. im free today_

m-Queen: _ttyl_

Mello closed the IM program right before his friends and Light were arriving.

 

Light had noticed that both Georgios and Jonnie were carrying a huge bag, but didn’t understand the reason for it. Maybe it had to do with what Mello wanted from them.

“Melli!” Jonnie screamed and rushed into the flat.

“Hast du’s?” Mello whispered right before Georgios and Light stepped through the door. Jonnie nodded and smirked maliciously.

“Ok guys! Jonny and shot?” Georgios rubbed his hands together.

“No. You’re not here for pleasure.” Mello glared at the Greek. The blonde turned to Light, his voice deadly serious. “Sit down.” What was he up to? Light swallowed and felt a lump in his throat, he had the sensation to be cornered by the three Europeans. Something about their behaviour was strange, Light tried to remain calm though, and did as Mello said.

Mello and the other two sat down in front of Light. Jonnie took out her laptop and Georgios slammed a stack of papers on the chabudai table. Light sat in silence looking at each of them three, something was wrong, he felt exposed and betrayed.

“Do you remember when I told you about Matt’s hacker team?” Light nodded but didn’t answer. “Well, I think now you’ve nailed its Rio and Jo.” Light looked at Georgios and then at Jonnie, her silly smile had vanished and had turned into a straight face.

“We have encrypted all of Matt’s data files. He had restored L’s secret files about the Kira case.” Georgios explained and picked out a folder from the paper stack. “We know who you are, Leo. Or should I better say _Light_?”

Light felt anger lighting up in his chest. So Mello conspired against him _in his presence_? He was way more dangerous than he had thought. The blonde reached for his hand and squeezed it. “We’re not here to frame you.” Mello shifted closer to him, his eyes looked as if he was sorry. “We team up with you. But the guys have the right to know _who_ you are.”

Light freed his hand from Mello’s grip, patently pissed off by this subterfuge. “How can I trust you? And why would you help me?” He crossed his arms, his voice was quite upset.

“We want to avenge Matt’s death.” Georgios explained calmly. “He put his whole being into this, to help Mello. I don’t want that he died in vain.” Light looked at Mello, his head was low and his hands balled to fists, his knuckles turned white. He was sure Mello was going to cry again. “If Mel wants to be on your side, if he believes in you and that you will avenge Matt’s death, we stand behind you.” Light stared at the Greek, something about his cold attitude told him he could rely on him, that he was much more trustworthy than Mello or Jonnie, even if he liked them both. “Light, are you _Kira_?”

Light knew exactly that this was a rhetorical question. The hackers had all of Mello’s and L’s data, they knew he was Kira. Mello had accused him for this since the beginning. So in the end, they framed him. Light was quasi forced to cooperate with them. He could use the notebook to write Mello’s name, but he didn’t know about the other two’s. On the other hand, having a team with two badass hackers and a former mobster on his side could prove _very_ useful. Plus Mello was one of the genius orphans trained at Wammy’s, he knew Near and he was driven by a strong wish of vengeance. It was a good thing that he was still loving Matt, even if Light was jealous about it. It was a very difficult mixed situation, but Light was sure he could deal with it, as long as Near was alive, as long as the hunt was on, the guys were on his side.

Mello sobbed loud and a tear rolled down his nose and fell on the back of his hand. Light looked at him, he reached for his hand and pulled him closer. Mello buried his face in the crook of his neck, Light wrapped his arm tightly around his waist. “Yes, I am Kira.” He raised his head proudly and his cold glance made the other two almost shiver. “I will revenge Matt if you help me to catch Near.” _‘And to get my throne back.’_

 

Light browsed through all the papers and through the files on Jonnie’s laptop. They had _everything_ about the case, all the data in L’s possession, all the SPK and Task force files about the Kira case, and every single one of them had a personal file. He read Matt’s and Mello’s spy reports about him, Misa, Mikami and Takada; surprised about how much they found out. If Light had not put Halle’s phone under surveillance, if he did not blow up Near’s plan, he was doomed to fail. So in the end, saving and capturing Mello proved to have been the right decision.

 

Georgios and Jonnie seemed to be at ease with the fact that Light was Kira, much more than Mello. Maybe if they understood his beliefs, if they saw how he worked and the perfect world he wanted to create, they would become his supporters. If not, he would get rid of them, Mello included.

“So your real name is Yagami _Raito_ not Light.” Jonnie read on a document and held it to Light while Mello served coffee to all.

“It’s the same, actually.” He flipped through the pages and realised it was _his_ personal data file. “My father was half American and grew up here in the US. He wanted to name me Light but my mother was conservative Japanese, so they chose Raito because it sounds similar.”

“But Raito means moon, right?” Mello asked as he sat down next to him and Light nodded. “And what does your last name mean?”

“I think...” Light adjusted his glasses and didn’t stop browsing through the pages. “You can translate it with _night god_ in English.”

“Really?” Mello raised an eyebrow.

“That’s so cool!” Jonnie squeaked. “Can I call you Kiraito?”

“That’s not a good idea, Jo.” Georgios sipped some coffee.

“But it sounds great!” Jonnie protested and Light chuckled.

“It does actually.”

“We are still Leo and Sasha in public.” Mello lit up a cigarette and drank some coffee. “But it’s a cute nickname.” He smiled softly at Light, he smiled back and stroked his pale hand.

“So I can call you like that when we’re on our own, ja?” Light couldn’t do anything but agree to her. “Do you know what, Kiraito?”

“What?”

“We three are Kira’s angels! Like in the film!” The sheboy giggled loud and clapped her hands. Mello palmed his forehead.

“That’s actually a great idea.” Light admitted and pulled Mello closer. _‘A king needs his knights and a god needs his angels.’_ “What do you say?” He cupped Mello’s chin and looked in his icy eyes, noticed how his cheeks were slightly flushing. “And you will be the archangel.”

“Yes, say yes, Melli!”

But Mello said didn’t say anything to this blasphemous idea. The blonde was ashamed of himself. The fact he joined a self-declared god that used a tool of evil and was accompanied by a demon, disgusted him. _‘This is the antichrist, the one who denies the Father and the Son.’_ He recited the verse from the Bible and touched his rosary. Mello did not want to help Kira, but he’d do anything to revenge Matt, to take down Near. Mello also didn’t want to admit to himself that he liked Light’s presence, it made him feel better, less abandoned. Light was not the matter, his problem was _Kira_.

“Your codenames from now on are M, G and J.” Light decided. “Mine will be...”

“S.” Mello sat up straight and met Light’s amber eyes.

“S?” Light raised an eyebrow. “Why not K or R?”

“To confuse Near. S has nothing to do with your real name.” Mello extinguished the cigarette in the ashtray and unwrapped a chocolate bar. “But it stands for _svet_ , a Russian word for light. Or for the Croatian _svjetlo_ , you decide.” The blonde bit off a piece of chocolate.

Light was impressed, had Mello thought about everything? In a few hours his situation changed from bad to good, he had three allies, a new alias and probably Mello had another ace up his sleeve.

“Ahhh this is so romantic!” Jonnie screamed loud. “Are you two a couple now, ja?”

“Maybe.” Light said but Mello yelled _no_ at the same time and shot him a disapproving look.

“Yes or no?”

“Jo, mind your own fucking business.” Georgios reprehended her and searched for a document among the papers. “What does it mean Kira kills through a _notebook_?”

“Oh ja, what does that mean?” The sheboy got already distracted by her curiosity about Kira’s way to kill.

“Show them.” Mello touched his biceps. They were hackers and did not believe in supernatural forces. Mello hardly convinced Matt as he found out about it, his boyfriend only really believed it once he had seen it.

Light took the notebook from the shelf behind him, it was well hidden among all the other books. The second notebook was still locked in the safe. He sat again next to Mello. “This is the Death Note.” Jonnie and Georgios stood up and took place behind Light. “You can compare the names with the list of criminals that were killed by Kira.” Jonnie leaned forward and leafed through the pages.

“It’s true. The names match.” Mello explained them; both couldn’t read any Japanese.

“How does this work?” The sheboy looked incredulously at Light. “You write a name and the person dies?”

“There are a few rules to follow but basically it works like that, yes.” Light explained.

“That’s not possible.” Georgios couldn’t believe it was true, he always thought Mello believed this nonsense because he was superstitious.

“It is.” Mello confirmed.

Jonnie screamed loud and the other three looked at her, Georgios wondering what she had seen. _‘Shit.’_ Light hoped Ryuk would stay out of this but the shinigami couldn’t resist having fun with humans.

Mello took Georgios’ hand and made him touch the notebook, his emerald eyes widened of surprise. “What trickery is this?” The Greek stared at the strange being in front of him. He was dressed more or less like Mello, had feathery black wings and was one of the _ugliest_ creatures he’d ever seen. Round, yellow eyes stared at him and made him feel uneasy.

“This is Ryuk, my guardian shinigami.”

“Shini- _what_?”

“So it’s all true.” Georgios understood. “I refused to believe it.”

“Are you dangerous?” Jonnie jumped up and stood right in front of the shinigami, the initial shock replaced by curiosity.

“No, he’s not.”

“So it’s all your fault, hm?” Jonnie pointed her finger at him.

Ryuk chuckled. “I wanted to drop the notebook in Naples to wreck some real havoc but-“

“You know that Naples and Tokyo is on opposite sides of the globe, idiot?” Mello snapped. _‘So it dropped into the hands of an idealistic megalomaniac... maybe Light’s really the lesser evil.’_

“Why did you drop the notebook?” Georgios wanted to know.

“Ah, you see I was bored.” The shinigami sneered and made a back flip.

“Bored? I order take away from the Chinese when I’m bored.” Jonnie crossed her arms. “It’s not nice, you know? My friends had to suffer because you were bored.”

“I didn’t come here to listen to your lectures.” The shinigami disappeared and left the four humans to themselves.

“Not that I don’t believe my eyes but...” Georgios pulled his dreadlocks back into a high knot.

“Give me the name of a criminal.” Light ordered to the blonde and Mello searched for a random rapist in Europe, found name and photo of a fugitive sexual offender in Switzerland. The criminal was going to die of asphyxiation given to an allergic reaction in exactly one hour. “In a few hours the news will appear on the internet.” Light looked at Mello and the blonde smiled softly, they were still holding each other’s hand; Light’s thumb traced tenderly Mello’s soft skin.

Jonnie plopped on the cushions in front of them and smiled broadly. “What is it?” Mello snapped at her.

“You sure you’re not a couple?” Jonnie stuck her tongue out and revealed her marijuana-leaf piercing, looking at Light. “You want to be my boyfriend then?”

“Jonnie-boy!” The blonde jumped up and yanked her up as well. “Bathroom!”

“Aaaahh! Melli-jelly is jelly-jelly!” Jonnie lamented theatrically while Mello dragged her away.

Light looked at Georgios but the Greek shrugged. “Let them. I can’t stand them when they fight.” He lit up another joint. “Your ears will be grateful.”

 

Mello pushed the annoying sheboy into the bathroom and slammed the door. “Are you fucking done?”

“What?” She yelled back. “I just asked, ja?” Mello rummaged in the small cabinet and took out a tube of marigold pomade. His scar itched again, it mostly happened when he was upset or nervous. “What’s wrong about it, Melli? You’re already fucking each other.” Jonnie was serious now.

“You really think I could fall in love with the person who is partly responsible for Matt’s death?” The blonde’s eyes were red and wet. Jonnie gestured him to sit on the lowered toilet seat and took the tube from his shaky hands.

“But you like him, don’t you?”

“He’s hot that makes it easier for me to fuck him.” Jonnie brushed Mello’s bangs back and carefully smeared a generous amount of pomade on his scarred skin. “The truth is... it’s not that I don’t like him but... he sometimes scares me.” The blonde confessed and sighed while touching the cross of his rosary.

“Because he’s Kira?”

“Because of the things he says. He wants to eliminate anyone who’s not like him. He wants to get rid of all criminals but also of the weak and the sick. Does it remind you of anyone?”

“Hitler was the same fanatic.” Jonnie said dryly, swallowing hardly. “I don’t like fanatic bitches.”

“You know how it was, your grandparents knew it well... and mine too. It was not better in the USSR... gulag, Siberia deportation, iconoclasm...” Mello’s eyes were frantic, he scratched his skin nervously; he remembered too well when his Croatian grandmother told him what happened to the Russian part of his family. “What if he freaks out and decides to get rid of a whole race or nation just because it pissed him off? What if his real intent is to rule the world not like a god but like a tyrant?”

“We two better keep an eye on him.” The sheboy muttered. “You have to stop him from doing that, okay? I think he likes you, he can’t be _that_ evil.” Jonnie lowered the strap of Mello’s tank top and spread pomade on each inch of disfigured skin.

“I don’t want him as ruler of the world.” Mello shook his head and stared into space. “As soon as I get rid of Near, I will eliminate Kira as well.”

“Watch out, Melli. Games like this have the tendency to backfire. You know what happens if you dance with the devil.” Mello shrugged, he didn’t care if he had to die to dethrone Kira. “By the way.” Jonnie rummaged in the pocket of her harem pants and put a USB drive in Mello’s hand. “Near’s data file and everything I could find about BB. Guessed you wanted it for your own.”

Mello looked at her with big eyes and tightened the grip around the drive. “So it’s confirmed? It’s the _true_ name?” Jonnie nodded and the blonde chuckled mischievously. Now he was a step in front of everyone.

 

“Do they often fight?”

“They bicker all the time. Once Matt locked them in the bathroom for a whole day to make them stop.”

Light didn’t wonder, they were both way too similar; Mello was an arrogant bitch and Jonnie was an annoying thing that never shut up. Light reminded _very_ well how many times Mello had annoyed the hell out of him.

Georgios pulled from the joint. “I shouldn’t tell you, but be careful with Mello.”

Light turned his head to the Greek. “What do you mean?”

“I’m pretty much sure Mel has an agenda.”

Light raised an eyebrow and glanced incredulously at him. “Why are you saying this to me? You don’t know me and Mello is your friend.”

The Greek exhaled a huge amount of smoke. “I don’t know you, and I don’t trust you. But I don’t trust Mello either.” Light couldn’t believe his ears. “It’s not that I don’t like him, but he is not my friend. He was Matt’s boyfriend and Matt was like a younger brother to me. I don’t care about Kira or Near or whatever. Matt died and the only one who’s responsible for this is _Mello_. If he hadn’t involved Matt in all this, he would be still alive. Matt did all this only for Mello.”

“Then why are you helping me?”

“First, because otherwise Matt’s death was futile. And second, I believe in Kira’s principles of a new world. I’m not a criminal, I’m just a hacker but I never harmed anyone.”

 _‘On contrary to Mello, right Rio?’_ Light studied the Greek’s green eyes, his hard facial features. Georgios’ was the most dangerous looking among them, but he seemed to have more or less a head on his shoulders on contrary to the reckless Mafioso and the foolish sheboy.

“Mello will use you to get whatever he wants. I wouldn’t shrink back to do the same with him.” Georgios pulled from the joint and a huge cloud of smoke filled the room. “And don’t trust Jo either. He was Matt’s girlfriend once and has a weak spot for Mel. He will not choose your side when it’s time.”

 

Mello and Jonnie came out from the bathroom a short while later.

“Why the fuck are you wearing make-up?” Georgios noticed thick black lines on Jonnie’s upper eyelids.

“Barbie taught me how to do winged eyeliner. I’ve a date later.”

Georgios crossed his arms and glared at her and Mello. “Why do you two always end up talking about girl stuff?”

“Why don’t you mind your own fucking business?” The sheboy snarled and checked time on her mobile. “I have to go. My date is in one hour. You better leave with me now.”

“Yeah, Mello and I have to talk.”

“Uuuh I smell angry sexy time.” Jonnie giggled and grabbed Georgios’ hand, leading him to the door. “Bye guys!” Light and the dreadlocked Greek had a short eye contact before they left.

 

“We’re not done yet.” Mello said as Light stepped in front of him, ready to scold him. The blonde opened the lid of his laptop and typed something on the keyboard, leaving Light speechless behind him. A program similar to Skype popped up on the screen, the blonde was doing an online call.

“What the fuck, Mello!” Light wanted to close the laptop but at that moment the other person answered.

<Allo.> A male with a hard accent answered, probably it was Russian. Light was sure he had heard this voice before.

“It’s Sasha. We should talk in English or Japanese.” Mello felt Light’s fingers clenching his shoulders as he stepped behind him. “I’m with Kira.”

“Who are you?” Light asked him in English.

<My name is Zhandos. Sasha told me about you Kira, and your plans for a new world. I want to join your cause.>

 _‘Where have I heard this voice?’_ Light tried to remember but so many things happened lately, he met so many new people that he needed a moment to put things together. “Who is it?” He whispered in Mello’s ear, barely audible.

“The hooker from the motel in Tokyo.” The blonde kept his voice down. “The one who blew me.”

Light wanted to strangle him. _‘How did they keep contact? I told Ryuk to watch him out!’_ He could do it later, now he wanted to know what Mello had orchestrated behind his back.

“Zhandos is willing to act as Kira’s outpost in Japan, so the SPK will think Kira is still operating there. Plus we will create an anti-Kira to fool them. They will not follow our traces. We will send Zhandos all your messages, and he will deliver them without leaving trace.”

 _‘Not like Misa had done.’_ Light thought briefly about it. “I want to see your face.” He required from the Kazakh.

<Of course.>

Mello clicked on a small icon and enabled the video call. He sat there, with Light’s hands on his shoulders claiming him as _his_ , his face not visible in the screen though.

<Sasha.> Zhandos almost gasped at the sight of the blonde, Mello smiled at him through the webcam.

“Nice to see you again, _Bozan_.” Light bent down and revealed his face, addressing to the Kazakh hooker with his false name.

<Leo!> He exclaimed surprised. <I mean, Kira.>

 _‘Good, show some respect, minion.’_ Light ran his hands across Mello’s core, he knew exactly why Zhandos joined Kira. He wanted Mello and _he_ had him. The blonde panted softly and looked provocatively into the webcam, he was playing along. “Why should I trust you?” Light licked Mello’s ear and smirked evilly.

<Sasha made me an offer I can’t refuse.>

“A false passport, a Green Card, a ticket to the US plus fifty-thousand dollars in advance.” Mello panted softly, Light was rubbing his cock.

“Is that enough for you?” Light kissed Mello’s neck, still looking into the webcam. The blonde had thrown his head back and gasped silently in his ear.

<I only ask you to execute some members of the Russian mafia. They and I have a history.> Zhandos stared wide-eyed at Mello who was giving him a rather interesting show.

“Good.” Light agreed to his request. Criminals were criminals and they had to be punished.

<There’s something else I want.>

“You’re brave. So?” Light squeezed Mello’s cock and a groan escaped his mouth. The blonde was outrageously sensual; Light was getting hard as well.

<I want Sasha.>

“Deal.” Mello wanted to rebel but Light put his hand on his mouth to keep him shut. “But you only can have him once _all_ my enemies are out of my way.”

<Of course.>

Light and Zhandos agreed the terms of their deal and what the Kazakh had to do in Japan for Kira.

 

Light quit the call and closed Mello’s laptop. “What is it? You’ve said nothing all the time.”

“You sold me like a two-dollar whore!” Mello yelled furiously and jumped up.

“Because that’s what you are.” Light grabbed his arms and backed him against the wall. “Isn’t it like that, Mello?”

“I don’t deserve this!”

“You conspired behind my back.” Light hissed. “You deserve way worse than this.”

“It was for Kira’s interest! I’ve done nothing to harm you!” The blonde tried to talk himself out of the situation, but he already knew Light was going to punish him. “You never agreed to my plan if you knew about it. I did it for you, Light!” Mello whined and tried to free from Light’s clutches.

“It doesn’t change that I feel betrayed.” Light’s body pushed Mello against the wall. “Kira doesn’t like that. You have to be punished for it.”

“Are you going to rape me, again?” Mello panted, and he couldn’t help but his cock was completely hardening. “Like you did when you killed your mother and your sister?”

“You made me kill them!”

“I did nothing! I offered you a deal and you agreed to it without thinking twice!”

“I raped you?” Light chuckled and smelled Mello’s skin. “I know you like it, Mello. You’re provoking me all the time because you _need_ it.” Light grabbed his thighs and pulled the blonde up, rubbed their clothed cocks together. “You’re a slut, and you deserve to be treated like this.”

“Yes.” Mello panted and hooked both his legs around his waist, rolled his hips against Light’s. Mello knew it was going to end like that, but he didn’t care.

“You better beg for forgiveness, princess, cause this time you crossed the line.” Light sneered and grabbed a fistful of blonde hair, tackling Mello down on the floor. “I have no patience left for you.”

 

* * *

 

 

Well, His Majesty deserved a solo portrait, didn't he.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today five months ago I began to write this story. Thanks everyone who made it till here.  
> I'm currently re-editing the whole work for nasty errors and possible plot holes. 
> 
> The next chapter is the second part of this one, it was just too long so I had to split it in two. There will be nasty smut, fluffy smut, feelings and a big surprise they both did not expect.(Two actually, and no Mel is not pregnant)  
> It will be up in a couple of days, just need to draw the artwork for it.
> 
> Artwork belongs to me. Light's eye and halo are coloured with gold paint, Kira's eye with copper paint. Just because he's so precious)  
> Thanks for reading!


	19. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can one be good and cruel?  
> Time has come for confessions.
> 
> Warning: SMUT, violence, dubious consent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You see, love could be labeled poison  
> Fuck it… …we would drink it anyway  
> Now this river will cleanse away our traces  
> May the bridges I burn light your way
> 
> [HFTS - Voidgazer]

* * *

 

 

Light took advantage of Mello’s confusion to handcuff his wrists together. He tore off his skinny jeans and knelt between his legs.

“Light-“ Mello felt a punch in his face, tasted blood in his mouth.

“Don’t dare to talk to me!” Light hissed and glared at him. “What the hell is going through your twisted mind? Did you get brain damage from Chernobyl?”

Mello spewed blood and spit in Light’s face. “Not as much as you, fucking Hiroshima and Nagasaki!” Mello felt it coming, another hard smack in his face, and then a heavy backhander on the other cheek. He wasn’t expecting anything else.

“The only words I want to hear from you are _forgive me, Lord Kira_.” Light yelled in his face, red flames seemed to ignite in his sharp amber eyes. “Understood?” He shook the blonde violently.

“Fuck you!” The blonde’s eyes showed no fear. Light knew he couldn’t easily scare Mello but it was not his intent now. He wanted to humiliate him, he wanted him to pay for his insolence once and for all. Not that Mello’s intent was bad, but he went behind his back. Light hit him once more across the face.

Light lowered his own pants and painfully squeezed Mello’s cheeks. He watched how his icy eyes widened as he penetrated him dry and without preparation, Mello clenched his teeth and tried to not scream. The blonde attempted to writhe in pain but Light was holding him forcefully. It must hurt Mello as hell, because Light felt how his foreskin pulled painfully back, there was too much friction. “The more you rebel, the more it will hurt.” Light warned him and pushed in until he was completely sheathed. Mello made pained noises and couldn’t control a tear running down his cheek. “Take off your rosary.”

“No, Light!” Mello shook his head, felt how his eyes watered. “Light, please no...” Mello begged and cried. _‘Not my rosary, not my Matt...’_ How was he supposed to pray for his sins if Light took away the amulet that protected his soul? “Please!”

“Take it off or I’ll rip it from your neck.” Light hadfinally touched a nerve, this was the right way to humiliate the Catholic boy. He had to deny his false god in favour of Kira.

Mello’s shackled and trembling hands removed the religious item from his neck, he couldn’t stop crying, ashamed of himself and of his weak spirit. Light slipped the belt from Mello’s pants and tightened it around his throat.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Mello.” Light whispered in his ear while thrusting painfully into him. “You know what to do to end this.”

Mello didn’t want to admit it, but he was aware that this whole situation triggered him. His body was reacting to Light’s mistreatment, it felt relieving each time he shoved his cock into him and his ass burnt from pain. The belt around his neck tightened further. “K-kira... your lord... and h-“ Mello couldn’t speak properly due the shortness of breath. Light released slightly the grip on the leather belt. “Lord and highness...” The blonde gasped and cried again. “Forgive me...” Light lowered until their noses almost touched. “I beg you, my lord... please.”

“Was that so hard?” Mello shook slightly his head and Light softly kissed his tears away. “You feel Kira’s mercy?”

“Yes.” Mello sighed and enjoyed Light’s tender kisses on his face, soothing his pain. Light released the belt around his neck, cupped the back of his head and kissed deeply his blood stained lips. Mello’s shackled hands held him by his jaw, he drank Light’s kisses greedily.

Light withdrew his cock and carried Mello carefully on the bed; he didn’t remove the handcuffs from his wrists, though. Light noticed a small amount of blood on his cock and between Mello’s legs. He reached for the lube on the nightstand and poured a generous amount on his length.

“Are you ready to feel Kira’s mercy?” Light took off his shirt and shifted Mello’s tank top up, sucked briefly at his nipple.

“Yes.” Mello panted and felt Light entering him carefully.

Light decided Mello had had enough for now, the broken and degraded look in his eyes when he had to remove his rosary was priceless.

Light reminded himself that he could mislead Mello by showing kindness to him, not by being nasty. Mello was too broken to care about pain, his soul needed solace.

He knew too well how to discipline his subjects, it always worked with Misa. But Mello was different from her, he was rebellious and more difficult to tame. Regardless what Georgios had told him earlier, Mello had to fall in his trap, he had to be _his_ , Light wanted to possess not just his body but also his soul.

Light looked in Mello’s swollen and sad eyes and felt something in him warming up. He didn’t want to hurt Mello, the blonde just needed some discipline. Whatever was wrong with him, Light was going to fix it. A part of him liked him after all. He lowered and kissed the blonde, thrust slowly into him, felt his tight and warm insides around his cock.

Mello devoured Light’s kisses, put his shackled arms around his neck, pulled him closer. The blonde hooked his legs around Light’s waist, enjoyed soft touches on his thighs and flanks. Mello needed affection more than punishment now, Light showered his neck with kisses made him feel good.

Light fucked him slow but intensely, he shifted his arm under Mello’s waist and pulled him slightly up to have easier access to his prostate. The blonde moaned softly, Light killed his sweet noises with another passionate kiss. Light closed his eyes, smelled his skin, felt heat streaming from him. Mello’s body felt like arson each time they fucked, but it amazed Light every time more and more. Mello felt good around him, when he was in him. Light couldn’t deny there was a mutual attraction between them. Light freed one of Mello’s wrists from the handcuffs.

“Light...” Mello gasped. “Make me come hard.” Light increased the rhythm of his pace, their bodies were one entwined mess. Mello’s fingernails scratched the skin of his upper back, his teeth buried in his shoulder and neck.

“You want it faster?”

Mello’s answers were a slight nod and a hard bite on his collarbones. Light squeezed his ass and fucked him harder, hit his prostate and led him to a mind-blowing orgasm. The blonde groaned loud as he came, his release made a mess between their bodies. Light felt his spasms and his insides tightening around him, he just needed a couple thrusts more to reach Mello on his high.

Mello rolled on top of Light, rode him and led him to his climax. Light grabbed Mello’s prominent hipbones and grinded his hips up as he came into the blonde.

 

“Fuck...” Mello hissed and threw on the pillows. “Light, damn you...” He got rid of his tank top, his body was sticking with sweat.

“What is it?” Light was out of breath.

“Nothing.” Mello smirked, his eyes looked at the ceiling. “I can’t believe it worked.” He said after a short while. “I need a fucking shot and a fucking rail.”

“Me too.” Light groaned, his fingertips stroked softly Mello’s tattooed chest. “I can’t believe you came up with this plan all on your own... I still need to process all this.” He palmed his forehead and brushed sweaty bangs from his face. “I knew you were the right choice...” Light cupped Mello’s head and pulled him in for a kiss. The blonde returned, shifted his body closer, ran his fingers on Light’s strong shoulders.

“So you’re not upset anymore?”

Light’s thumb traced softly Mello’s cupids bow, the blonde kissed the fingertip. “No...”

Mello sat up and stretched his body. “What do you want to drink?”

“Whatever... doesn’t matter.” Light laid back and closed his eyes, enjoyed the last remains of afterglow.

Mello left the bed and was going to pick up the small gold case, put it on the nightstand. Then he filled two shot glasses with chilled vodka and sat next to Light. “To Kira.” They both emptied their shots. Mello handed him the small gold case, Light’s eyes widened as he saw the content.

“Lie down and turn around.” Light commanded softly and the blonde obeyed, wondering what he was up to. Light sprinkled a tiny amount of cocaine right above Mello’s ass crack, between his prominent back dimples. His Slavic skin was so fair that the powder almost vanished on it. Light snorted the drug with the metal straw, pleased about its quality. Mello turned and pushed Light down, he formed a thin line of white powder between his pectorals. The blonde snuffed the drug and licked traces of cocaine from his sweaty skin. Mello peppered soft kisses on his collarbones and neck, then Light cupped his chin and kissed his lips. “Now I want you to do something else for your Kira.”

“What do you want me to do?” Mello nibbled softly at his lower lip.

“I want to fuck your nasty, pretty mouth.” Light purred in his ear.

“Fuck, yes!” The blonde ran his pierced tongue over his lips, sending Light lecherous glances.

Light switched their positions, Mello leaned his back against the headboard. Light knelt in front of the blonde and shoved his half-erected cock in his mouth. Mello sucked him in and he got immediately hard. He tasted cum, sweat, his blood and Light’s hormones, that turned into precum soon enough. Light grabbed two hands full of blonde long hair and fucked the half-Russian deep till his tip reached the back of his throat and wondered how Mello did not choke on it.

The blonde squeezed Light’s ass and hummed around his cock, he felt his own erection growing again. The ex-brunette felt the drug rushing through his system, the high slowly rising. He closed his eyes and felt invincible like a god; he even had the blonde angel-slave that satisfied all his carnal desires, desires that had been hidden for too long time. Light threw his head back and kept on fucking the younger boy’s mouth.

Mello’s hand felt through the sheets until he found the small bottle. He poured a good amount of lube on his fingers and traced softly Light’s tight hole. Mello looked up and met his hungry eyes, he gave him a slight nod and Mello pushed his middle finger slowly in. Light moaned loud and supported on the headboard, Mello added carefully another digit and started to finger his ass and blow him at the same time. Light panted, it felt strange at the beginning but the drug lowered his inhibitions; Mello was gentle and careful but also extremely thrilling.

Light groaned loud as Mello’s fingers hit a sensitive spot in him. _‘Ah, there it is.’_ The blonde smirked around his cock and stimulated his prostate. It felt uncomfortable for Light at the beginning but each time Mello shoved his fingers into him, each time he hit that certain spot he liked it more. The blonde added a third finger and wanted to finish him off like he had never done before, but before he could get started for real, Light stopped him.

“Have I done something wrong?” Light sat on his lap and rubbed his hips on his cock while kissing him. He pinned both his hands over his head and handcuffed his wrists to the headboard. “L-Light?” Mello groaned, wondering what Light was up to. Was it too much? He was sure Light was enjoying it, he hoped he had not hurt him accidentally.

“I want to feel you...” Light kissed him hungrily. “...in me.” Mello remained speechless. “But you’re not allowed to touch me.” Light reached for the lube and opened the small bottle.

 _‘Fuck he’s serious. Fuck!’_ Mello glanced in Light’s lust-injected, gold sparkling eyes. “U-use a c-condom too.” The blonde stammered because he was obviously surprised and extremely aroused. Light took one from the pack on the nightstand and ripped the envelope with his teeth. He was a bit nervous but kept a cool head, rolled the condom carefully on Mello’s hard cock and coated it with lots of lube as well. The blonde hadn’t properly the smallest dick, and he wanted to avoid unnecessary pain.

Light slicked his hole with lube as well before lowering slowly on his cock, he groaned of pain and leaned his forehead on Mello’s. He felt like a flaming sword was tearing his ass apart, his body tightened up. Mello noticed his panicked glance and caught his lips to kiss him, calming him down. He freed one of his hands from the handcuffs and cupped Light’s cheek. “I know it hurts. Try to relax.” Mello whispered and traced softly Light’s spine to help him to ease up. Light slipped down little by little until Mello’s cock was fully sheathed. He could not imagine taking pleasure from _this_ , and regretted it immediately. But the blonde kissed his chest, his neck, his shoulders; tried to distract him from the sore feeling in his ass. He put his free hand on his butt and Light started to move slightly. “Slow.” Mello kissed him, Light seemed to relax further.

He smelled Mello’s sweet scent, felt his hand guiding patiently his movements. _‘How did he free from the handcuffs?’_ But Light lost soon interest, after the first few thrusts he started to feel slight pleasure, his moves gained a little speed, he sat up straight and held on Mello’s shoulders. He began to carefully ride the blonde, Mello’s hand was holding him by his waist, icy eyes looked up to him as if he wanted to eat him alive.

Mello couldn’t resist the impulse to finally be on top again, he slipped his other hand through the handcuff and shifted positions with Light. As soon as Light understood what was going on, he tried to free from him but the blonde pushed his whole length in and kept him in place. Light’s eyes widened of fear and regret, now that he knew what it felt like, he didn’t dare to imagine how it felt when he took Mello without proper preparation like he had done earlier. He was truly afraid the blonde was going to give him taste of his own medicine, after all the times Light had hurt him, it was even legit.

But Mello didn’t want to hurt him; he had not a problem with Light, but with Kira. Mello even liked Light and if he wasn’t still in love with Matt, he could even feel something for him. The blonde kissed him, his hands softly traced his thighs, then grabbed his hips and he started to thrust carefully into him.

Something about all this seemed so familiar; the smell, the taste, how everything was feeling. Mello closed his eyes and rested his head in the crook of other’s neck, his mind was disconnecting from reality. Mello was with Matt now, they were making love on the beach at sunrise. His hand cupped the blonde’s cheek and kissed him deeply, Mello had his eyes still closed and focused on his other senses. He kissed his lover’s cheek and nibbled at his jaw line. “Oh Mail...” He barely whispered in his ear and licked the sweaty skin of his neck, smelled the scent of his fiery hair while thrusting into his lover, his hands holding him tightly by his hips.

“Mello...” The other panted. “I don’t... I don’t understand your language.” He cupped Mello’s chin and kissed him again, occasionally moaning in his mouth.

Mello opened his eyes, the dying sun was tricking him. The redheaded freckled boy in front of him vanished slowly and turned into the dark blonde young man with eyes that sparked like gold. _‘Fuck...’_ Mello cursed himself for choosing a new lover that reminded him so much at his lost boyfriend. Light brushed their noses together, still waiting for an answer.

The blonde couldn’t help himself, but he was literally melting in front of that sight, how Light was looking at him, how he panted softly each time Mello was thrusting into him. He lowered his head and smelled again Light’s skin, it was addicting and he wanted more. “Good?”

Light nodded and felt their sweaty noses brushing together, then a soft kiss on his lips. “Yes...” He gasped, he felt how Mello’s ardour was burning him in and outside. He was still amazed about Mello’s delicacy, that he was as careful as possible and yet, not less passionate.

“I’ll make you come as never before...” Mello whispered and nibbled at his jaw line, his hip thrusts became faster, Light spread his legs further. After a few shoves, the blonde hit a sensitive spot in Light, one that made him moan loud and shot pleasure through his whole body.

“Mello.” Light gasped, he wanted Mello to stop, it felt too weird but too good at the same time. But Mello did not stop and fucked Light till he reached his orgasm. “Mello!” The ex-brunette tore him down and held tight at him while he climaxed, the blonde still giving it to him till Light was done.

It was the first time Light experienced something like this and he was completely over the top, his head felt dizzy, his eyes were heavy. It was like his whole tension had turned into lust and culminated to a mind-blowing orgasm he never expected to experience in his life.

Mello carefully withdrew his cock and knelt between Light’s long legs. He disposed the annoying condom and stroked himself while watching at the delicious sight in front of him, Light completely lost in his afterglow. Mello came soon, he released on Light’s stomach, their semen got all mixed up. The blonde lowered and lapped their cum till Light’s abdomen was clean, fingers ran gently through his long hair.

 

Mello threw next to Light, Light took his hand and entwined their fingers, Mello smiled softly. “You okay?”

“You truly are an angel, aren’t you?” Light couldn’t quite believe what happened, that Mello did not take advantage of this situation.

“Hey, you sold me like a whore just before.” The blonde snapped, he didn’t want to be his angel, he was _Matt’s_ angel.

“I didn’t mean it.”

“Sure.” Mello huffed and turned on the other side.

“Mello, come on.” Light shifted closer to the blonde and embraced him from behind. “I don’t mean to keep my word.”

Mello faced him again. “Why?”

“I intend to keep you for myself.” Light wanted to caress Mello’s scarred cheek but the blonde grabbed his hand and pushed it away.

“Am I your fucking pet or what?”

“Mello why do you always get so touchy after we have sex?” The blonde rolled his eyes and tried to turn away but Light forced him to look at him. “What is it now?”

Mello blinked and tried to take time but Light did not give up. “You said I’m your boyfriend... that night at the club... do you remember that? You also said I’m yours the day after.”

“Sure I remember.” Light frowned and didn’t understand what Mello wanted from him now.

“Did you mean it or...?”

“Are you getting sentimental?” Light sneered, he was sure Mello was mocking him again, but as he looked into the blonde’s fair eyes, he understood he was bloody serious.

“I _am_ a sentimental person, if you haven’t noticed, asshole!” Mello snapped and hit his hand away, again and turned on the other side, again.

Light stared speechless at the tattooed angel on Mello’s pale back. One side of him really wanted him, it was hard to admit for Light but he liked a _male_. His other side however was already calculating the situation and pushing him into this. If they were a couple, he could better control and manipulate Mello. The memory of Matt would slowly vanish in darkness and then he finally had Mello for him alone. And the day Light had Mello, he could use him the way he pleased. He remembered well Georgios’ words and he wasn’t going to forget them.

Light licked over his dry lips and tried to find the right words. _‘Come on, it’s just words, idiot. They mean nothing.’_ Light put his hand on Mello’s waist. “Mello, I want you. I really care about you.”

“Then stop it to treat me like a property.”

“And I want no more of your tricks. Cut it.” Light tried to ease the tension, he wasn’t going to get anything if he was holding that against him all the time. “You liked to be my sugar babe.” Mello turned and glared at him. “Why don’t... wouldn’t it be better to be my boyfriend?”

Mello’s mouth dropped open and before he could say something, Light kissed him dearly. The blonde melted completely in his kiss and let his arms embrace him tightly.

Light was not Matt, and Matt would never come back. Mello would never move on, but what was wrong if he was with a person he liked? He couldn’t stay alone, not now and Light was taking care of him, made him feel safe, even if he was his captive. When they pretended they were just two normal young men, when they were not Kira and Mello, he really enjoyed his time with Light. If they went through all this together, maybe Mello could talk him out all the Kira shit and bring him to live a normal existence. Or in the worst case, at least he had control over his actions and Light would trust him more than he did now. Mello thought about Jonnie’s words, he knew he was going to fall by his own hand but in the end, what had he to lose? Absolutely nothing. Mello decided to go all in. He will make him a god and then he will take him down. _‘The higher you climb, the harder you fall...’_

“What do you say, Mello?” Light was softly stroking his hair. “I don’t want to replace Matt...” He took Mello’s hand. “But you deserve to live a new life, you’ve suffered so much.” Light kissed Mello’s hand and wasn’t sure if it was a lie or not.

Mello had doubts about Light’s words, a side of him really wished it was the truth. “Y-yes...” He muttered and squeezed Light’s hand. “I really need you, Raito.” There was something that changed briefly in Light’s eyes, something that made him shiver and feel warm at the same time. It was like a shadow had vanished and his eyes were shining brighter now.

Light pulled him in for a tender kiss, as if to seal their promise. Mello felt Light’s soft tongue brushing his, his long fingers tracing gently his skin, stroking his hair, his hand pulling him closer, their bodies sticking together. At this point Mello wondered if Light was possessed by Kira. If this was the case, he wanted to save him. Their lips parted briefly and they looked in each other’s eyes and Mello wished all this was true.

 

\---

 

Mello woke up and couldn’t find any sleep. He felt Light’s warm breath on the back of his neck, his arm surrounding his waist as if he claimed him his even while they were sleeping. The blonde sat up, careful to not wake Light, and stayed there for a short while, observing him sleep, his lips curled in a slight smile. He stroked softly his cheek and left the bed.

“Ah, Ryuk, dammit!” He talked with low voice while wearing his boxer shorts. “Can you please announce your presence?” The blonde couldn’t help but he felt uneasy running around naked in front of the shinigami. He picked up the rosary and adjusted it around his neck; he kissed the gold cross.

“Do you have an apple for me?” Ryuk sneered and flew towards the cooking area.

Mello rolled his eyes and took an apple out of the fridge; Ryuk devoured the fruit in two bites. The blonde took a chocolate bar and heated some water to brew a tea. He was wondering what he could do to waste some time, then his eyes noticed that his laptop was still on. Mello moved it from the desk to the small chabudai table, then he rummaged in the pocket of his jeans and found the USB drive he got from Jonnie. _‘Well well, let’s see what you’ve found for me, Jonnie-boy.’_

 

m-Queen: _jb you on_

kkk_666: _ja_

m-Queen: _you once told me your grandpa was cabalist_

kkk_666: _shalom_

m-Queen: _im serious bitch_

kkk_666: _yes why_

m-Queen: _do you know something about spiritism and stuff_

kkk_666: _u serious_

kkk_666: _buy a fuckin oujaboard_

kkk_666: _since when are you a fuckin new age wiccan_

m-Queen: im _serious. i need to know how to talk to a ghost_

kkk_666: _baby talking to ghosts is a sin_

m-Queen: _did i fucking ask_

m-Queen: _yes or no_

kkk_666: _no_

kkk_666: _but i can hack an archive and look for something ja_

m-Queen: _a spell is ok_

m-Queen: _thanks boy, youll get a personalised dildo from me_

m-Queen: _made of glass_

kkk_666: _your sexy dick of glass_

m-Queen: _no. rios dick_

kkk_666: _fuck off_

kkk_666: _i hate him today. He said ima girl_

kkk_666: _you better go suck kiras dick. can i join_

m-Queen: _no_

kkk_666: _gn8 fuckass_

Mello closed the IM program and scrabbled something in his journal.

 

A low noise woke up Light, it sounded like someone was typing on a keyboard. As the noises stopped, he turned around and tried to catch some sleep again but then he heard something similar to scrabbling. He stretched out his arm and wanted to hug Mello and smell his skin but the blonde wasn’t there. Light opened one eye and saw dim light coming from the other side of the room. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, Mello was sitting at the chabudai table, his laptop was on.

“Mel?” Light called him but the blonde did not react.

Ryuk sat next to him on the bed. “He doesn’t hear you, he’s listening to music.”

“What is he doing?” Light stretched and searched for his underwear.

“I think he’s writing.” Ryuk sneered and stared in Light’s eyes. “Can I get an apple?”

“I bet you got one from Mello earlier.” Light walked to the cooking area and heated some water.

“No.” Ryuk lied and sneered.

“You’re worse than a cat.” He was looking for the tea box. “By the way we have to talk, you and I.” Light lowered his voice tone, just in case. “Why didn’t you tell me he was plotting all the time? I told you to keep an eye on him.” Light’s eyes pointed to Mello.

Ryuk chuckled and let his tongue hang out. “I’m not at your service. I’ve already done too much for you.” Light rolled his eyes and filled two cups. “And I like pretty boy. He’s entertaining.” An evil grin appeared on the shinigami’s face; Mello was right, Ryuk was really ugly. Light was just used to his view after all those years. “Can I get an apple now?”

“Ask _pretty boy_ if he feeds you, you seem to like him more.” Light muttered and walked towards Mello, the blonde’s attention still focused on his journal. “Maybe you can become his pet.”

Ryuk burst into laughter. “You’re jealous.”

Light plopped on the cushions next to Mello, the blonde flinched and made Light almost drop the teacups.

“Fuck, Light!” He unplugged his earbuds. “You scared me!”

“Sorry. Tea?”

“Thanks.” Mello took a cup and held it between his hands.

“What are you doing?” Light pointed at the laptop and the journal.

“I uhm... was writing...” Mello twisted his upper hair back and fixed it with the gold Mont-Blanc pen.

“I see that. You can also tell me what.” Light had already spotted that Mello was writing in Cyrillic.

“Uhm... a story.”

Light brushed Mello’s long bang from his eyes. “Mello, come on. You can trust me.” He took his hand and kissed his fingers. “You can talk to me. I’m your boyfriend. It works like that, right?”

 _Boyfriend_. It still sounded so strange in Mello’s ears. His boyfriend had always been Matt and he was sure he would always be. “Right...” Mello put the cup on the table. “We are honest to each other, yes?”

“Of course.”

“Light, I need to tell you something.”

The ex-brunette frowned, wondering what Mello had done now. “Go on.”

“It was a lie that I’ve never met L.”

“Okay?”

“I met him once when I was at Wammy’s. He wanted to talk to me, only to me.” Mello paused and looked for his smoking stuff. “He was disappointed with my grades. He wanted me to become his successor, told me I could be better than Near because I was both intelligent _and_ practical...”

“But?”

Mello lit up a cigarette. “But he told me I was too emotional, that I should focus only on studying and not get distracted by all the teenage stuff...” The blonde took a deep drag and exhaled a lot of smoke. Light opened the window behind them. “... and that I was wasting my time with Matt.”

“You were already with him at Wammy’s?”

“We got together when we were thirteen.” Light’s eyebrow shifted up; now he understood better why Mello was suffering so much. “Then he told me a story about another boy at Wammy’s.”

“Beyond Birthday?”

“Yes.” The blonde sighed and Light took his hand. “He told me about him, that I should see him as bad example but... the more he talked about him, the more I figured out how many things we had in common. I could not hate him, I felt pity for him.” Mello didn’t tell Light that he had already dreamt about B long before L told him all this, and it was like a sign to find out more about him. It was slowly obsessing him, he was afraid to end up like B but also wanted to know what happened to him. “B freaked out because he was forced to become like L. He did, but chose to become a criminal instead of a detective.”

“They were rivals like you and Near.” Mello nodded. “So you’re writing about B?”

“Yesterday while I was in the bathroom with Jo, he gave me a drive with all the data about him. I uhm...”

“What is it?” Light stroked gently the back of his neck. “Don’t hold it all in, just tell me what’s going on.”

“Matt never wanted me to research about B. He said it wasn’t good for me. He had this file ready but forbid me to look at it, at least as long as the Kira case wasn’t over.”

“But you want to know more?”

“Yes.” Mello extinguished the cigarette and shifted the laptop closer. “Now I know where he lived here in LA.”

Light browsed through the files, he froze as he saw the pictures of B’s victims. _‘That guy was insane. What the hell happened at the orphanage? They are all disturbed kids...’_ It turned his stomach from anger, the obsession of Wammy to create the perfect detective was revolting. If he wasn’t dead already, Light would make him perish of a horrific end.

“Light, did you write his name in the notebook? Please tell me.” Mello squeezed his hand.

“No it wasn’t me, really.” Light was still browsing through the files. If Mello wanted to know what happened to B, why deprive him that? If he had no distractions anymore, he would focus better on their own task later. “Listen, Mel. Why don’t we go tomorrow?”

“Where?”

“To his house. It’s just outside LA.” Light pointed to the laptop screen. “I can come with you if it scares you to go alone.”

“Yes... that might help.” Mello rested his head on Light’s shoulder and felt his hand wrapping around his waist, pulling him closer. The blonde giggled softly. “That’s kinda unusual for a first date, isn’t it?”

Light laughed. “We can make up for it the day after tomorrow.” He cupped Mello’s chin and lifted his head. “Why don’t you take me out for dinner?” He kissed the blonde softly and moved his slender body on his lap.

“Fuck yes!” Mello agreed and deepened their kiss. He liked glamorous social life but it wasn’t easy to enjoy that with Matt. The redhead was lazy and antisocial; he preferred to stay at home and to cook for Mello rather than going out. The only ways to lure the hacker from their house were concerts, fetish nights or long rides on their motorcycles. Mello loved to spend his time with Matt, it didn’t matter what they did, but he also missed eating in luxury restaurants and drink expensive cocktails in exclusive clubs. At least in this he and Light were on the same wavelength. “Light I want to fuck but my ass hurts.”

 _‘Dammit, Mello.’_ Light felt it too, they were already touching everywhere, Mello was rolling his hips on his already hard cock, they were panting in each other’s mouth, hormones were driving them crazy. “Mine too.”

“I’ve two holes.” The blonde smirked cunningly and his hands were already in Light’s boxer shorts. Mello lowered his head and began to suck him right there, without any foreplay.

Light didn’t expect it and moaned loud as he felt Mello’s mouth around him. The blonde lowered his own boxer shorts just enough to take out his pulsing cock. He stroked himself while sucking Light, they were both horny and tired and weren’t going to last long. Light fisted Mello’s hair and grinded his hips in his mouth, while the blonde was sucking him harder and harder. Mello hummed and panted around his cock, he felt him twitch and a small amount of cum filling his mouth; he swallowed Light’s release and rested his head on his stomach, still thrusting in his own hand.

“Come for me, Mel.” Light purred and pulled at his hair again. Mello gasped and climaxed, spilling semen in his fist. He licked it all from his hand and shifted his body up to kiss Light.

He didn’t expect it as he opened his lips to welcome Mello’s kiss. The blonde passed his semen to his mouth, Light tasted the sweet-salty cum on his tongue, between their tongues, and swallowed. Mello grinned mischievously and bit his lower lip.

“You’re crazy...” Light groaned and reached for the cup, taking a sip of tea.

“This is only the beginning, I can assure you.” Mello’s icy eyes made him shiver, but then he kissed him and cuddled up tightly to him. Light embraced him and held the blonde close, both enjoying each other.

 

Light thought Mello had fallen asleep on him but a while later he raised his head. “Raito... Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” Light kissed his forehead.

“Why did you pick up the notebook?”

“Because I was bored.” He touched the tip of Mello’s Slavic nose. The blonde rested his head on Light’s chest again and wondered if Light was so different from Kira, after all.

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm the devil, and I'm here to do the devil's work.
> 
> [Uncle Acid and the Deadbeaths - Devil's work]  
> https://youtu.be/ROUBH4ZRjEU
> 
> Two faces of the same coin. 
> 
> \---
> 
> Artwork by me, JK  
> I tried a different technique this time.  
> Do not repost.
> 
> In the next chapter Mello will finally finds out what happened to BB, but it will have consequences. 
> 
> It might take me a while to update, I'm attending festivals and am writing another short story about LightxMello. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	20. Séance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two orphans. The same orphanage, twice. The same room, twice. The same city, twice. The same fate as well?
> 
> What is the secret behind BB? Mello will find out about it but it has consequences for him. Will he deal with it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't ask, why darkness never ends  
> I believe some things were never meant to be
> 
> My soul was sentenced far too long,  
> To perish in a lifeless shell,  
> To search for answers in this living hell
> 
> [Dark Fortress - Like a somnambulist in daylight's fire]
> 
> \---
> 
> This chapter refers to dark themes like child abuse and mentioned rape.  
> If this bugs you please skip that part.

**July 2009**

Mello was sitting on the balcony of their beach house, he sipped at a cup of coffee while reading.

Matt stepped out from the entrance door, holding two plates in his hand, a lit up cigarette was between his lips.

“Oh here you are. Breakfast is ready.” The redhead took place next to Mello on the bench and put the plates on the small table. “Scrambled eggs and toasted bread.”

“Oh wow.” The blonde smiled softly, it was one of his favourite breakfasts.

“What are you reading?” Matt took the little book from his boyfriend’s hand and read the title.  _ Charles Mason’s heirs: the LA serial killers _ . “Mel come on…” Matt sighed. “Put that away. You shouldn't read this stuff, it's not good for you.”

“Matt…” Mello tried to snatch his book back but the redhead kept it in the air.

“No Mells, leave it be.” He put the book aside and shifted closer to Mello. “At least as long as we're after Kira. You're obsessing.”

“But-” Matt killed further words with a deep kiss.

“Let me take care of you.” He stroked gently Mello's blonde hair and cupped both his cheeks. “I love you so much, I want you to be safe, my angel.”

Mello chuckled softly and looked into Matt's beautiful ocean blue eyes. God, how much he loved him, how lucky he was to have him by his side.

Matt looked at his boyfriend, his thumbs caressed gently his cheeks. He admired Mello's extremely fair skin, it seemed so fragile and marvellous like porcelain. Matt was almost jealous of his flawless complexion, just blue veins shined slightly through. Mello looked so delicate, so much in contrast to his fiery and aggressive temper. But the thing Matt liked the most about his doll-like boyfriend was when his cheek flushed, turning into a lovely pink colour. “Did you put sunblock on your face, sweet?”

Mello smiled timidly, his Matt was always so caring. He still wondered how he could survive three years without him.

\---

 

Light was sitting on the soft and comfortable cushions, and was browsing through a  _ very  _ interesting list. Matt had collected the names of the major criminals all over the world, third-world countries included. The names of the criminals killed by Kira were crossed out, thus leading Matt and Mello to find out Kira was operating in Japan, and more precisely in Tokyo. Light had underestimated how many criminals were also outside the developed countries, why had he never thought about punishing also the ones in the developing world? It seemed like Matt had done the whole work for him, Light just needed to look for their pictures and write their names in one of the notebooks. So easy was that, and Mello would not interfere with his work since he actually gave him that list. It looked like the blonde was slowly merging Kira's ideals with the beliefs of his religion, because he seemed to truly support his work of punishing evil persons.

“Kurva!!!”

Light raised his glance from the notebook. Mello threw the frying pan in the sink, cursing loud in Croatian.

Light put the pen down and closed the notebook, eight criminals have been executed by Kira’s justice today. He deemed himself satisfied, stood up and rushed to Mello. “You okay?”

“The fuck!” The half-Croat yelled like crazy. “I tried to make us breakfast but I burnt everything!” He was holding his aching hand under the running water. “Sranje!!”

Light took gently Mello's shaky hand in his, kissed it. “Are you nervous?”

“No!” Mello brushed his bangs back. “Yes, a little.” He sighed and leaned against Light.

“Come on, let me do it.” Light took the frying pan and put it on the burner. “What were you making?”

“You told me you can't cook.”

“Let me try.” He put his arm around Mello's waist and kissed his temple.

“Scrambled eggs.”

“Okay just tell me how to do and I'll follow.”

Mello really missed Matt's cooking and caretaking; he observed Light while he was following his directions. He was amazed about Light’s cool and calm way to get things done; it really reminded Mello of his dead boyfriend. It totally relaxed him to watch Light, like it did when he was with Matt. Again, Mello could not explain to himself why he got involved with a person that remembered him so much of Matt; why he kept on hurting himself so much.  _ ‘What in all hell is wrong with me…’ _

Light served their breakfast on two plates, they sat on the stools at the kitchen counter and devoured their meal.

“How is it?” Light was quite proud about his first-time cooking attempt.

“Mh.” Mello scoffed and finished his portion. “Not bad for a first try.” It tasted good actually, but it wasn't Matt's. Mello could always taste love in Matt's food, but here there was none.

\---

 

Mello stopped abruptly the car, Light winced. It was the fourth time the engine died when he had to stop, and Light noticed that the blonde was way too nervous to drive.

“Come on, let me drive.”

“No fucking way.”

Light rolled his eyes. Why was Mello always so possessive about his things? Light touched his shaky hand. “We’re not in a hurry. Let's stop for a coffee till you've calmed down.”

“No.”

_ ‘No, then.’ _ Light watched out of the window while touching his watch. Why was the blonde always so damn stubborn? “Well,  _ I _ need a coffee, can we please stop?” Mello ignored him and lit the engine once more but the motor died again. “Mello! I’m talking to you as your boyfriend! Could you be more easy-going?”

“Fuck you, Yagami!” The blonde snapped. “I’ve used the  _ I-am-your-boyfriend-card _ often enough and know far too well how it works.”

Light grabbed the collar of Mello’s sleeveless shirt and pulled him in for an aggressive kiss. The blonde tried to resist him but melted in his kiss as the other cupped his head and didn’t let him go. “Just shut the fuck up, will you?” Light brushed their noses together and Mello nodded. “Why are you so nervous?”

“I don’t know…” Mello sighed. “I don’t know what’s expecting us there… Did you take my gun?” Light nodded and squeezed Mello’s gloved hand. “Can I have it back?”

“Not now.” Light got off the car and walked around, then he opened Mello’s door and pulled him out.

“What the-” Light silenced his laments with another kiss, pushed him hard against the black car. “Mmmh.” The blonde purred in his mouth and bent one leg up, rolled his hips. “Wanna fuck?” He threw both arms around Light's neck and licked his lips.

“Mel we’re on the street.” But Light did want to fuck him, he wanted to fuck him on the hood of his vintage car. Unfortunately for them it was daytime, and they were along the street, and as if it wasn’t enough, some guys were whistling at them both. “Let’s get some coffee, come on.” He pointed at the coffee shop behind them.

\---

 

They arrived at Topanga Canyon, the place they were looking for was slightly outside the urban area. It was early afternoon and the sun was shining high in the blue sky, Light was glad he was just wearing loose sport clothes.

“Ready, Cinderella?”

“Hm?” Mello was taking off his leather gloves and put them on the driver’s seat. Light pointed at the pink letters on his shirt. “It’s just a band.”

Light took the gun and stuffed it in his pants before getting off the car, Mello followed him.

“So… this is the place…” The blonde murmured, more to himself than to Light, he got chills all over his body at the sight of the manor. The ex-brunette took his hand and kissed his forehead. He led him to the old huge gate that was closed with a thick rusty chain and blocked by a big padlock.

“It's a while someone has been here, hm?”

Mello fumbled with a lockpick and tried to break up the lock. “Since 2003, probably.”

The blonde lockpicked the padlock and removed the chain from the gate, pushing it open. The rusty gate creaked, it sent Mello chills down his spine.

Light followed the blonde in the huge courtyard of the manor, still amazed about how fast the former mobster broke the lock. Light was capable as well, but it would have taken him way more time. His eyes looked at Mello’s ass and ran along the blonde's long slender legs. He liked him more when he was dressed casually like he was now, just wearing ripped skinny jeans, a sleeveless bandshirt and biker boots. Why did he always dress up like a male hooker? He didn't seem to have self-esteem issues, or had he? But most probably Mello was just eccentric, like L was. Light was aware that Mello was so different from L in as regards his look. While his former opponent dressed like a tramp and didn't seem to mind much about personal hygiene, and needed Watari or Wammy, or whatever his name was, as a sort of caregiver; the flamboyant blonde was quite the contrary. He wondered what freak Near was, and the apparently normal Matt was surely crazy as well. Nobody could ever love an unstable person like Mello, he was an exasperating wild card. Light also reminded that they were seeking whatever about Beyond Birthday, who was another one of Wammy's kids; another psycho freak he was glad had been erased from the world. He really wished he could take credit for his death but whoever it was, had earned his respect. Light was more and more convinced that Wammy's House was a place to grow up little monsters and not genius kids. Either that, or the pedagogical methods used by the teachers there were completely wrong.

“This is…” Mello whispered as Light stood next to him. “It's one of the places where Charles Manson had his communes, it's not a coincidence Beyond wanted to live here. He always admired Manson’s criminal genius.”

_ ‘Is Manson still alive?’ _ Light raised an eyebrow. “Well a common teenage idol for sure.” He stated sardonically. “And who's your idol?”

“Jesus Christ.” Mello crossed himself and his right hand touched briefly his rosary.

“I meant someone…” Light cleared his throat. “Less religious.”

“I don't know.” Light's question caught him unprepared. Matt's idols were Tesla and Einstein, but his? He didn't know really, maybe a rockstar, or a writer?

“Maybe a mafia boss like Al Capone?” He said ironically but Mello was on edge and had a bad reaction.

“Shut the fuck up, Raito!” Mello’s icy eyes sparked strangely. “And who is yours? Hitler? Or Pol Pot?” He snapped at Light.

“Ha ha you're funny.”

“Wait I know it! Caligula, the mad emperor. I’m Yagami Raito, I’m Kira, I’m the god of universe, I am justice, everyone has to do what I say, bla bla bla.” Mello mimicked him.

Light grabbed his arm and yanked the blonde back. “Don't talk about me like that!”

“Or what? What are going to do to me? I'm not afraid of you!”

Mello’s icy glare shot in Light's amber eyes and he knew it was true. Mello was not afraid of him, but he was afraid of something else, maybe of what was awaiting him in that house.

“I wonder why I've chosen the most insufferable of all brats as my boyfriend.”

Mello slapped his own ass. “Cause I'm hot as fuck, babey.” He walked towards the manor, swinging lasciviously his hips. Light had to agree to him, at least this time.

 

The sun was shining high but something was very sinister at that place, Mello was feeling like in one of those horror movies he hated so much. It was like in _ The Devil's Rejects _ or something like that, what if now a family of crazy guys rushed out and shot at them? Mello tried to ban his thoughts, he was obsessing again. He felt the palms of his hands sweaty, but he was feeling cold, his heart was racing fast. Light took his hand from behind and squeezed it softly.

“I go ahead.” Light ripped off the wooden beams from the entrance. He took the gun from his pants and stood aside Mello while he was lockpicking the door.

Light and Mello entered the huge house. It once was a beautiful manor, but now it was run-down and decrepit, the walls were ruined and most of the boarded up windows were broken. The boys stepped slowly through the huge room and looked around; Light went ahead holding the golden gun in his hand and Mello followed him silently.

The wallpapers were torn apart, phrases written in blood made anything more creepy. Among other things, Mello read  _ god is dead _ and  _ why _ , his eyes looked away from a blasphemous drawing on one of the wooden walls. He crossed himself again and felt pity for B’s lost soul.

It stank in there, the air was dusty and stuffy, Mello coughed, he felt nausea and anxiety crawling up his stomach. It was like he could sense every depraved action that happened in there. Among murder, B was also reputed guilty of rape, torture and cannibalism.

The boys walked through the various rooms, Light wondered how many people lived in there. Apparently Beyond Birthday had a harem-family similar to his idol Manson.  _ ‘If the kids at Wammy's were trained to be detectives, and B freaked out like this…’ _ Light thought while stepping on the dirty floor, covered by half-burnt carpets. ‘ _ And Mello joined the mafia to prove himself he's better than Near… something there was very, very wrong. Not to forget that a certain A committed suicide.’ _ He felt the bitter taste of disgust and disappointment on his tongue, how could someone do something like this to children?  _ ‘Not that L was better… what he did to me, to Misa… but probably he was a victim as well, just shaped according to someone else’s ambition.’ _ No, Wammy was not a philanthropist. He would ask Mello more about that orphanage, if it still existed and who the wrongdoers were.

There weren't many things left there. Mello snooped through the various shelves filled with books; he found there fairytales, Rilke, Nietzsche, Kafka, Shakespeare, most of them were in German. Small booklets caught Light’s attention, he took one and recognized it, it was a manga he knew from his childhood.  _ ‘Kids obsessed with stories about wizards…’ _

Light picked up a straw doll; it was covered in dried blood. Mello stood next to him, looked in his eyes.

“This is a wara ningyō…” He explained but the blonde shook his head confusedly. “They're a sort of Japanese voodoo dolls.”

Light looked in his icy eyes, Mello’s glance was shattered, it seemed like he was feeling everything that happened in there. Was this one of the results of Wammy’s House? He couldn’t understand why Mello felt so attached to this B, but how could he. He hadn't lived there.

 

Light and Mello stood in front of the only intact door inside the house. It was blocked by wooden beams and they both ripped them away, then Mello lockpicked the keyhole. Light was sure nobody was in there, but kept the gun pointed before walking in the small, dark room. A few furniture pieces were put in there, a bed, a chest of drawers with a dirty mirror, a small bedside table.

Mello stepped in, he inhaled the putrid air and somehow he felt it so familiar in there. What was awaiting him here? It was B’s room for sure, he found some books and crossword puzzles in German, a small portrait picture fell from one of the booklets as Mello browsed through the pages.

The photography showed a young boy with blonde chin-long hair and cold steel-green eyes. Whatever he was going to find out about B in here, he had to do it alone.

“Can... can you leave me on my own for a while?” Mello sighed. “I need to collect my thoughts.”

“Sure.” Light kissed Mello’s forehead and walked towards the entrance door. Mello brushed his hand while he walked past him.

Light had found something interesting in one of the rooms and picked it up before leaving. A red rope, patently unused, could reveal very useful for his future purposes. If Mello could free himself from handcuffs, he wouldn't so easily escape from what he had in mind with this item. No matter what Mello had in mind, he was going to be punished for it.

Light took finally a deep inhale of fresh air, it stank so much in there, breathing was unbearable. “Keep an eye on him.” He commanded to Ryuk.

“But he can see me.”

“Well then, hide in the dark. Don’t you have any powers to dissolve your form?” Ryuk shook his head and chuckled.  _ ‘Stupid, useless shinigami…’ _

“You know that if he finds out you send me after him again, he’s going to get mad.” The shinigami sneered and made a flip in the air. “Especially now that he’s your boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” Light’s amber eyes flickered in the sunlight. “That’s the last thing he’ll ever be.”

Ryuk laughed scornfully and stood in front of him, his red pupils staring in his golden eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Have you seen the Mexican peddler down the street? He had wonderful and juicy red apples.” Light locked Ryuk’s eyes with his. “I think I’m going to buy some for me.”

“And one for me?”

“Do as you’re told!” The ex-brunette hissed and pointed at the manor. He really wanted to know how Mello bossed Ryuk around so easily.

\---

 

Mello was standing in the almost darkness and didn’t move for a while. He took off his rosary and put it on the nightstand.  _ Don’t do it! _ He heard Matt’s voice behind him.  _ ‘Forgive me my love, I have to.’ _

_ Talking to spirits is a sin,  _ _ Miško _ _! It’ll bring no good. _ A tear ran down Mello’s cheek as he felt Matt’s lips kissing softly his forehead.

The blonde neared the mirror and lit two tea lights he had brought from home. He took off his shirt and cleaned the dirty glass surface, but the mirror was old and his reflection remained dark and hazy. Mello reached for the small knife hidden in his boot and cut the palm of his left hand. The right thumb dipped in the red sticky liquid and wrote the names  _ Benjamin  _ and  _ Mihael  _ in Hebrew on the mirror, then he leaned the still bleeding left hand on the cold surface and closed his eyes.

He started the Jewish summoning in Hebrew, just as Jonnie told him to do in the email she had sent him the night before.

_ I adjure you, O Spirit, Ram-bearer, who dwells among the graves upon the bones of the dead, that you will accept from my hand this offering, and do my will by bringing B who is dead. Raise him up so that he will speak to me without fear, and tell me the truth without deception. Let me not be afraid of him, and let him answer whatever question I need ask him. _

Mello inhaled and exhaled eight times before opening his eyes again. Nothing happened. There was just a young blonde man looking at him. Mello sighed, he wasn’t sure if of relief or disappointment. He took his hand away and cleaned the blood with his shirt.

_ So here we are _ . Mello’s eyes looked in the mirror again.  _ Mihael _ . The figure in front of him had red eyes now, his hair was darkening until it turned pitch black. A maleficent grin appeared on his bloodstained lips.

_ ‘Oh, shit!’ _ Mello receded but stumbled upon something and fell backwards.

_ Don’t run away from me. You came here to see me, after all. _ The black haired, pale guy leaned forward and held his hand towards Mello.  _ Come closer. I won’t harm you. _

Mello stood up and knelt in front of the mirror, looking puzzled into the shiny surface.  _ ‘What should I say now?’ _

_ I don’t know. Maybe you wanted to ask me something. _

_ ‘You hear me this way?’ _ Mello’s eyes widened in surprise and the figure in the mirror nodded, smirking mischievously.  _ ‘Better that way. If the shinigami is around he wouldn’t hear me.’ _

The dark haired one laughed again.  _ You’re a clever one, aren’t you Mihael? The shinigami is here. _ Mello turned his head slightly.  _ Don't look around! Act like nothing’s wrong. _ Mello licked his dry lips and sucked nervously at the piercing in his tongue.  _ So in the end you came. _

_ ‘Why…’  _ Mello raised an eyebrow.  _ ‘Were you waiting for me?’ _

_ I was. I knew you would come. Sooner or later. _ The black-haired man laughed, deep dark shadows around his eyes made them look more sinister.

_ ‘What happened to you, Benjamin?’ _

_ Benjamin? Benjamin is dead and buried. They killed him, annihilated any trace of him _ . The man in the mirror wasn’t laughing anymore.

_ ‘Is this the reason why you called yourself Beyond Birthday?’ _ Mello asked him with his mind.  _ ‘You already died once?’ _

Beyond nodded.  _ Come with me. _ He leaned his right hand on the inside of the mirror, Mello put his left hand over it.  _ Close your eyes, Mihael. _

Mello did as he told him, he felt warm around his hand, the others fingers closing around his bleeding hand.

_ We have so many things in common. Look. _

Mello spotted the institute where he had lived in Berlin as child. He recognized the very same room where he had been moved.

_ I was here too, in the very same room like you years later. _ Beyond showed him a young blonde boy with steel-green eyes; he was crying, he was locked in a dark room.  _ See, we are both hot-headed spirits but at that time I was just a scared little boy… you instead have always been a brave one… and a rebel. _

Mello's eyes saw one of the teachers touching him, forcing on him. He felt himself pressed against the wall by the taller body of an adult, felt his calloused hands groping him everywhere, nails scratching his sensitive skin, the erected manhood breaking into him and spoiling his untouched young body. A grim voice telling him that nasty boys like him didn’t deserve anything better. His body and soul degraded and humiliated, again and again.

Tears started to run from Mello’s eyes, it made him feel sick and angry.

_ He tried it with you too, didn't he? But you were not a frightened kid like me and you fought back. _

Mello gave a slight nod and felt the other man's fingers clenching around his hand, as if to comfort each other.

_ As Wammy took me with him, I thought things would get better for me. _ Mello saw Wammy’s House, the very same shabby room in the attic where he had to live alone.  _ It wasn’t like that, though. They thought I was crazy. But I wasn’t. I just needed help. And nobody wanted to listen. They just gave me meds to keep me quiet. But my mind wasn’t quiet. It always remembered. Then, one day I met L. Finally. I looked up to him, like to a big brother, like to a mentor, to an idol. I talked to him. I told him everything. I wanted him to understand like a friend would.  _ The man in the mirror laughed grimly. _ But he did not. He touched me, used me, tried to shape me, wanted me to be like him. _

Mello was panting faster as he felt snake fingers touching him, it was a disgusting feeling. He couldn’t stop the tears running from his eyes.  _ ‘Beyond, I’m so sorry…’ _ He remembered his empty grey eyes staring in his own ones, the intimidation game he had tried to play with him, telling him he’d end up to be a freak like B. But did he just need another victim?

_ I didn’t even try to oppose resistance. I just let him do. Then one day, I began to skip my meds. My mind started to understand what was happening around me. They were shaping me like they wanted to. Nobody cared about me. But I was afraid. _ Mello squeezed his fingers tighter around Beyond’s.  _ And then it happened. A killed himself. I couldn’t get over it, I wanted them to pay for this. I understood that there was the only way for me. I left Wammy’s. And the rest… you know. _

_ ‘I didn’t know you had to deal with all this…’ _

_ But you understand me so well, don’t you Mihael? _ Beyond tilted his head sideways and chuckled.  _ The same orphanage. The same room. Twice. You followed my footsteps. _

_ ‘But I haven’t been raped in the orphanages.’ _

_ No. But you wanted to feel so close to me, that you let people abuse your body on purpose. _ Beyond laughed evilly, Mello tried to step back but he was still holding his hand.

_ ‘That’s not true… It was just for money.’ _

Beyond laughed again and his laughter was so similar to Ryuk's disgusting sneer.  _ Don't lie to me, Mihael. What about that one time, when they forced on you? _ He licked some blood from his lips and his eyes sparked creepily.

_ ‘I wasn't…  I can't remember. I was drugged.’ _ Mello tried to free again, but a non-physical force was holding him there.

_ Are you sure? Or are just pretending it's like that? The wound in your soul is still there, isn't it? _

Mello tried to ban the painful memory of his abuse. Only Matt knew about it, why did Beyond know?

_ We are so similar…  _ Beyond brushed a strand of black hair behind his ear, his eyes glowed like red embers.  _ Always the second, never good enough. Too reckless, too wild, too everything but never good enough. Isn’t it like that, Mihael? When the fire lights up in you and you feel you can burn everything with your ardour? _

Beyond was right, Mello’s main problem were his unmanageable emotions. He was capable to keep himself under control when he was among people, but when he was alone or with people he trusted, he needed to unleash his feelings or they would consume him from inside. Matt had always been his anchor in these situations, he was the water that soothed his destructive rage but also the air that fed his burning love. But Matt wasn’t there anymore and he felt his worse vices taking the lead of him again. Was Beyond helping him to get rid of his weakness or was he using it like Light was doing?

_ ‘How did you die?’ _ Mello gazed into the red glowing eyes, the man wasn’t laughing anymore.  _ ‘How did you get your shinigami eyes?’ _

Beyond tilted his head sideways.  _ Time’s not come yet for you to know, Mihael. _

_ ‘What does that mean, Beyond? I have to talk to you again?’ _ Mello didn’t want that, he had hoped he would find out why B’s ghost was always haunting him. He was already committing sin talking to a spirit, he didn’t need to do that again, it wasn’t his plan.  _ ‘But why are you still here? Didn’t you find solace? L and Wammy are dead now, Misora too…’ _

_ Roger is still alive. _ Mello’s eyes widened. He wanted it too, they wanted it both.  _ God is dead, Mihael. Our souls are lost and coloured black. _

_ ‘No…’ _ Mello let go of Beyond’s hand and buried his face in his hands. He didn’t know if he was crying of anger, of sadness or because he was a constant disappointment to himself.

 

Ryuk had observed the whole scene and had not really understood what exactly was going on, but sensed that there was something supernatural, something out of his and Light’s awareness. Slowly and silently, the shinigami floated outside the dark room and the house.  _ ‘Light won’t like what’s going on here… isn’t that funny?’ _ Ryuk chuckled and approached his human protégé.

“Why are you laughing like an idiot?” Light glared at him. “What is he doing all the time?”

“Oh it seemed like he was talking to a ghost.” Ryuk chuckled and his pointed tongue hang out at the sight of a bag full of apples. “Your pretty boy looks quite shattered, maybe he could need you.”

“Ghosts don’t exist.”

“You once thought shinigami don’t exist, Light.”

Light walked towards the manor. “You’re not always right about everything.”

 

Light stepped in and found Mello kneeling on the ground and resting his head on the dresser. He helped the younger one up and saw his blood smeared face. Ryuk was right, Mello looked shattered and alienated, but why was he full of blood and why were candles in the room?

Mello cupped both his cheeks and crashed their lips together. He kissed him hard and greedily, Light tasted blood, tears and desperation. He still wanted to ask him what happened in there but Mello didn’t let him speak.

“Fuck me…” Mello whispered against Light’s lips. “Possess me, please… hurt me.”

_ ‘What the hell?’ _ Light still had no idea what Mello was doing and what had triggered him earlier, but an invitation to hurt him could not be ignored. Mello turned and bent his body on the dresser, his forehead rested against the cold mirror. Light lowered his and Mello’s pants to their knees, then he slapped his ass hard, his porcelain skin turned red. Various bruises on his ass and thighs testified their last violent intercourses. Light wasn’t sure if taking advantage of him this way was right, but Mello literally carved for it, and constantly provoked him to this point. The ex-brunette shoved two fingers inside Mello before positioning himself in front of his entrance. “Are you sure?”

“Y-yes.” Mello panted and felt a burning sensation in his ass, Light had entered him dry and without forewarning, he shoved his cock in with full force. His fingers grabbed the back of his neck and pushed him down, the blonde was forced to stay in that position. Mello whimpered and cried against the mirror while Light was taking him harsh and rough. His right hand tried to find his rosary, but he had removed it previously.  _ ‘Oh God, forgive me… I’m your unworthy son, a hopeless sinner…’ _ Light’s violent treatment was the retribution for his wrongdoing, the only way to cleanse his soul. His cock was pounding deep into him, his nails scratched his sensitive skin, the hard edge of the dresser was cutting in his hipbones.  _ ‘Matt, don’t leave me… I was so wrong to not listen to you… please don’t leave me.’ _

Mello felt his oncoming climax, he let himself giving in to lust, felt Light's painful thrusts into him. But as he was coming, as he opened his mouth to moan loud, something blocked his voice and forced down his throat.

“I love you, Kira.” Mello heard himself say, but it wasn’t him. He opened his eyes and met Beyond’s ghastly face in the mirror again. His red eyes glowed and his lips curled to a mischievous grin.  _ ‘What have you done, Beyond?’ _

_ I’m just helping you. _ Beyond laced their fingers together, his scornful laughter filled his ears.

_ ‘What have I done? I’m not you!’ _ Mello closed his eyes and cursed himself.  _ ‘Holy Mother…what have I done?’’ _

 

“I love you, Kira.” Light heard Mello’s feeble voice between gasps and sobs at the moment he was releasing into him.

“What did you say?” He stood still and bent forward, kissed his shoulder, he was exhausted but he wanted more. Possessing Mello was extremely satisfying him, soothed his thirst for power and lust.

“Nothing.” Tears started to run from Mello’s eyes. No, he couldn’t do this to him, not now. Light withdrew his cock and made Mello sit on the drawers. Light’s body stepped between his bruised legs, his hands caressed his dirty face.

“Mello.” He whispered and kissed him gently, his hands roamed over his whole chest, touched softly his skin. “Mel what did y-”

The blonde silenced him by kissing him again, pulled him closer and kicked off his shoes and pants, so he could hook his legs around Light’s waist. Light wrapped his arms around him, cupped the back of his head, deepened their kiss. Mello’s hand reached for Light’s cock, stroked him till he was hard again. He felt cum mixed with blood dripping from his ass and coated his erection before pushing him in. Light groaned loud, Mello too and rested his head on his shoulder. Light entered him till he was fully sheathed, then he began to move while watching their reflection in the dirty old mirror. This time he was gentle, his fingers squeezed Mello’s ass and pulled him closer, their hips were grinding together. Mello took off Light’s shirt and licked his sweaty skin, his hands closed around his waist to feel him as close as possible, his legs pushed him deeper in.

Light heard muffled moans coming from them both, slicked noises from their loins. He didn’t know if it was the moment, or all the blood, or simply Mello’s desperate state that triggered him so much. The blonde leaned on his elbows, his bloodshot icy eyes looked lustful at him, it seemed like something had changed in his gaze.

Mello looked up to Light, his view was confused, it was as red patterns danced above his head. It was a consequence of his séance for sure. Mello’s black nails carved in Light’s skin, red streaks like brand marks appeared on his chest. Light’s arm wrapped around his waist, pulled him closer. Mello’s thumb ran over his lips before kissing him again, their kiss was passionate and hungry. Light dived deeper into him, Mello moaned in his mouth, every movement was temporally distorted, it seemed to happen so fast and yet so slow.

“Say my name.” Light felt his oncoming orgasm and pulled Mello’s hair gently back to face him. “Say my name, Mello.” The red patterns seemed to fade away.

“Kira.” Mello panted and let his tongue slip into Light’s mouth. Their kiss smothered his moans, Light felt his insides tightening and spasms shooting through his loins, both came almost in the same moment.

Mello backed against the mirror and Light rested his head on his shoulders, his softening cock was slowly slipping from his ass. They were standing still for a while, Mello’s fingers ran softly over his back.

He looked peaceful on his outside, but Mello’s inside was shattered. The last hours were intense, and did not turn out as he hoped. He was feeling as if he betrayed his faith and, above all, that he turned his back to Matt. Again, his impulsiveness and pride had ruined everything, like when he had left Matt back at Wammy’s House.  _ ‘You told me you won’t forgive me a second time… Matt where are you?’ _

 

Ryuk chuckled behind them, but Light tried his best to ignore him and kissed Mello again.

“Are you okay, Mel?” The blonde nodded and kissed him back. Light wanted to ask him what happened, but he knew Mello wouldn’t answer now. If they went home, had a shower and something to eat, maybe relaxing in front of the TV, Mello would open up to him. Dealing with Mello was even worse than having a girlfriend. “Let’s go home. You need a shower.”

Light pulled up his pants but his flip phone fell from the back pocket. He picked it up and looked at Mello’s pitiful state.

“What are you doing you sick fuck?” Mello jumped from the dresser. “You’re a fucking perv!”

“It’s not for me.” Light showed him the picture he just had taken. The blonde looked as if he was tied to something, he was naked and full of blood and bruises.

“I look like I’ve been raped!” Mello picked up his pants.

“Near knows you’re alive, right? But he might think it’s all a charade.”

“Of course he thinks that.” Mello frowned and got dressed, he was careful to hide the small knife in his boot. “So, you’ll send this pic to him as proof?”

“You’ll call him again, right? Kira still wants his notebooks back.” Light smirked, something about them two plotting against Near thrilled him, in this regard, they were absolutely on the same wavelength. There was a strange chemistry between them two, Light almost was sorry that deep down, they were still on opposing sites. They worked so well together, Mello was a little scheming bitch and Light actually liked that trait, even if he had used it against him.

“Mhm, right. You should send this to Lidner and in a few days I’ll contact her again.”

“Give me her e-mail address.”

“Not now, you smartass.”

“My mobile is untraceable and-”

“Matt’s connection is the safest. Trust me.”

“Fine.” Light put on his shirt. “Let’s go.”

Before leaving the room, Mello picked up his rosary and kissed its cross, asking Matt again for forgiveness.

 

Light pushed Mello on the hood of his black Firebird, but the blonde slapped him away. “What the fuck!”

“I know you’re still horny, Mello.” Light purred and licked his neck. “I want to fuck you on your pretty car.”

“Who the fuck took a shit in your skull, you idiot!” Mello pushed him away and jumped from the car. “This is a vintage car! Kurva!”

Light rolled his eyes and Ryuk laughed. “Pretty boy is right. No fucking on the car.” Light took an apple and ate it in front of the shinigami who was literally drooling for it.

Mello rolled a cigarette, he didn’t light it up yet but wore his gloves and walked to the back of his car. Light frowned and wondered what he was up to. Mello took a petrol can from the trunk and was about to go towards the manor as Light stopped him.

“What are you-”

Mello’s icy glare cut his words off. “Don’t follow me.”

“Mello you can’t-”

“I said don’t.” Light froze and Mello walked towards the manor. What was this insane spark in his eyes?

Ryuk tilted his head sideways and chuckled.

“What happened in there?” Light wanted to know and threw an apple at the shinigami.

“I already told you.” Ryuk bit in the red fruit. “He summoned a ghost and talked to it somehow.”

“Who’s ghost?” Light was losing his patience. Mello was going to pay for this, dearly. So he lured him here on purpose, it was already planned. When will he stop to believe Mello’s crying and acting sensible to be credible? “Who’s ghost, Ryuk?” Light gave him another apple.

“I don’t know. I can’t talk to them or see them.”

 

Mello put the cigarette in his mouth and emptied out the can in the whole house, spreading gasoline everywhere. He lit up the cigarette with a match and threw it on the floor, the petrol lit up immediately. The blonde walked slowly out of the manor while everything was catching fire.  _ ‘By fire, your sins shall be cleansed.’ _

The blonde Mafioso was coming back to the car, a cloud of smoke was leaving the house. Light observed him carefully, something was different but what? Was it the sudden change to a cold attitude? No, there was something more.

“Oh-oh.” Ryuk was looking at Mello and a horrible smile formed on his face.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.” Light gave Ryuk another apple. He would be insufferable when he was high on apples but Light wanted to know, needed to know what he meant. “Something in his eyes is different.”

“What is different?” He prompted Ryuk on to talk.

“It looks like…” The shinigami laughed scornfully, the apples were already making him feel dizzy. “Like pretty boy has shinigami eyes.” Light’s eyes widened in shock and his jaw fell open.

Mello exhaled a huge amount of smoke, then he directed his eyes on Light and Ryuk.

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me longer than expected, but yea here it is)  
> Drawing by me, as always. I've wanted to draw Mello and BB together for quite a while.
> 
> \---  
> REFS and stuff:
> 
> I hope everyone knows who Pol Pot and Caligula were.
> 
> Charles Manson lived in Topanga Canyon for some time  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manson_Family  
> Unfortunately Richie Faulkner joined Judas Priest in 2011, otherwise he was Mello's idol for sure. Nikola Tesla was Serbian, and was of course Matt's idol, since he was very science-oriented.  
> Nothing is a coincidence here)
> 
> Cinderella is a glam rock band. Mello's shirt  
> https://cdn7.bigcommerce.com/s-fbddb/images/stencil/1280x1280/products/1011/1925/cinderella-classic-heavy-metal-hard-rock-roll-band-group-photograph-womens-black-white-racer-back-tank-top-t-shirt__37630.1524081406.jpg?c=2&imbypass=on&imbypass=on
> 
> The Hebrew invocation exists, but the whole rite is my own invention.
> 
> Since shinigami exist in this story (and also DN) I suppose there can also exist spirits that haven't found peace and haunt the living. Mello is en extremely sensitive person so he can perceive supernatural forces (but doesn't necessarily understand them)  
> Mello also belongs to the Oriental catholic church, and he grew up in Russia/Balkans where superstitions are very rooted in popular belief. Mello sees himself as a very devoted and spiritual person (lol) so he's capable to set himself into another sphere (no its not just because of drugs).  
> Beyond referred to an episode in Mello's life that will be told more in detail in the next chapters. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	21. Blood and tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The faces all around me  
> They don't smile, they just crack  
> Waiting for our ship to come  
> But our ship's not coming back
> 
> So give me something to believe  
> 'Cause I am living just to breathe  
> And I need something more  
> To keep on breathing for
> 
> [The Bravery - Believe]  
> https://youtu.be/Rv2OyI0nXEE
> 
> \---
> 
> Mello and Light still don't know what's going on. Has Mello really shinigami eyes?  
> Nevertheless, they decide to go on their wannabe-date and manage to ruin everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I'm not dead and I didn't give up my Sinners)  
> I didn't lose inspiration, but I was not motivated to write and decided to focus on Inktober which was quite challenging, if not the biggest commitment in my life lol
> 
> Anywayyy I've been totally mesmerized by Attack on Titan, which is the first anime since Death Note that I like.

 

 

* * *

Light turned on the warm water and stepped under the shower. He wanted to get ready for the date he would have later in the day. Not that it really mattered to him, the date was just with  _Mello_ , but date was date and Light had to be fabulous. Having the younger one at his mercy because he was drooling all over him, was something Light enjoyed far more than he should. 

Light closed his eyes and enjoyed the warm water running down his body, relaxing his tense muscles. He thought back at the events of the previous day. The madness in Mello’s eyes seemed vanished as they arrived back home. Mello had taken a shower; they had called pizza and watched a movie together but didn’t talk much. Light had asked Ryuk what he meant as he said Mello would have shinigami eyes, but Ryuk said he probably had mistaken something. The dangerous spark in Mello's icy eyes wasn’t there anymore, on contrary, his glance was more absent and dull than ever. Mello didn’t even make attempts to have sex with him, which was very strange, if not worrying. Light thought that giving Mello some space would get him more than forcing him to talk. At the latest he would bring the blonde to talk that evening, after a generous amount of alcohol it would work. Making him talk and bedding him, as Light remembered the distance between them that morning.

_‘Mello…’_  Light opened his amber eyes and looked at his reflection in the full-body mirror on the shower wall. His now dark blonde hair was a little longer than usual, but Light liked it somehow. His body was still toned and muscular, fortunately Jonnie dragged them out for training every other day. Light was getting used to the lively squeaky something she was, he actually even liked to hang out with her. Could Mello not be as easy going as her? It would be easier to like him if he wasn’t such a touchy guy. Light got used to the loud sheboy, but he didn't get used to the wild beast Mello was in bed. His body used to be marvellous but his skin wasn’t flawless anymore. It was full marks left from scratches and bites, that night Light would tie up and gag the blonde since he planned to fuck him  _very_  hard. 

Light’s hand ran along his chest, while he was admiring his own body in the mirror. Since he was having sex on a daily basis, it was quite frustrating to stay a day without it. Light didn’t like to masturbate, he hated it, and had done it just a few times in his life. He was above it, he wasn’t slave to his basic instincts. He wasn’t like  _Mello_. Light closed his eyes and began to stroke himself, imagined subduing the blonde with icy eyes and sinfully long legs.  _‘Sooner or later I’ll break your will.’_  Light opened his eyes again, bit down on his lower lip as he admired his statuary physique in the mirror. Why hadn’t he banged Mello in the shower yet? The blonde should kneel in front of Kira, like it happened that time in Chitose, when Mello blew him in the shower for the first time. Because that was the place Mello belonged to, on his knees and his luscious lips pleasing him.  _‘You’ll be mine.’_

“Why don’t you have  _one_  mirror in this damn house?” Light lamented while he was trying to knot his tie. For the vain boy who Mello was, it really was a wonder the walls weren’t tagged with mirrors. The blonde didn’t pay him much attention, he was sitting on the cushions and smudging black liner around his eyes. Satisfied, he admired the result in the small pocket mirror. “Blondie! I’m talking to you!”

“Hm?” Mello looked up to Light who was standing there, arms crossed and patently pissed expression stamped on his face. “Need to put on make-up as well?”

“I’m not a damn fag like you.” Mello gave him his middle finger. “Why don’t you wear a dress too while you’re at it.”

“Fuck you!” Mello put mascara on his long lashes. “I’m not a girl, I’m a boy. I know you’d prefer if I ran around like a woman so you feel less gay, right Yagami-gay?”

Light sighed, why was everything that wasn’t sex so damn difficult with Mello? “I just need a mirror.”

Mello stuffed his things in the make-up bag and stood up. He opened one of the closet doors and revealed a full-body mirror on its inside. “Need help with that?” Light nodded and the blonde pulled at the red silk tie. There was something erotic in this situation, Mello was knotting his tie standing there just in tight boxer shorts, their faces so very close, Light smelled the soft scent of Mello’s fair skin, the sweet vanilla fragrance in his hair.

Mello tightened the knot and patted Light’s chest, the ex-brunette looked at his reflection. “Why do you have a full-body mirror in the shower but not on the wall?”

The blonde sent him a luscious look, the black line around his small eyes made them sparkle as icy flames. “You’re really asking me why there’s a mirror wall in my shower?” The blonde purred and sucked his lower lip in. 

Light slapped his ass. “Get dressed, princess. You’re late for our date.”

Light had just finished styling his hair and stepped out of the bathroom, he already expected to find Mello dressed up like a male hooker, but surprisingly it was not the case. Mello was wearing simple white, skinny jeans and an elegant black satin shirt. He wasn't wearing a tie, he almost never wore ties if not for church, it felt too restraining for him. Mello put on a pair of Steve Madden boots and jumped up, letting Light admire him. 

“Am I pretty enough for his majesty?” The blonde winked.

Light’s eyes ran along Mello’s slender thighs, along his long legs clothed in tight jeans, extremely revealing but still, plain and simple. He almost looked like a normal person. Almost.

Light grabbed Mello’s ass and pulled him closer. “I’d say perfect.” He purred and kissed the blonde. White suited him very well. He remembered the angelic aura the blonde had when he wore the white yukata during their stay in Japan. They should get some to wear for when they stayed at home.

Mello smelled Light’s perfume, the very same expensive fragrance he had smelled on him the day he had kidnapped him. _I love your perfume_ , he wanted to say. But it was like saying  _I love being your captive_ , and that was not the case.

“Care to help me?” Mello held out his injured hand, and Light carefully bandaged him up. He still didn’t know how Mello got that deep cut in his palm. “Can I have my gun now?” Light shook his head, he didn’t understand why he vehemently tried to get his gun back when he had a cabinet full of loaded firearms. “Then take  _her_  with you.”

\---

Light and Mello were strolling along the promenade in Venice Beach, the blonde had hooked his arm in Light's and was sucking at a piece of chocolate. 

“You're unusually quiet.”

“Hm?” The blonde looked up and met gentle amber eyes. “I was just thinking…”

They still hadn't talked about what had happened the day before and Light was starting to lose his patience. He wanted to know what the hell Ryuk had seen. “You know you can talk to me. About whatever you want.” 

Mello nodded and snapped another piece of chocolate. “I was thinking about Matt…” 

It took Light quite some effort to not roll his eyes and huff of annoyance. Why was Mello always thinking about that damn Matt? Couldn't he leave him away at least at their date? It started to feel like having a threesome relationship with a ghost and that was not funny. “Go on. Something in particular?”

“Not really… Matt loved it here. Just... that.” The sweet was melting in his mouth, slightly soothing his need for affection.

“I see.” Light observed his surroundings, but he didn’t like it here. He missed Tokyo. Los Angeles was not as half as organised and clean like his native city, and to his standards Japan was already rotten. This world was an awful place that needed to be wiped away.

“I don't want to bother you with my sad memories.” 

“It's okay Mello, you can talk to me. I still mean it with being friends.” 

“Matt was my best friend and my partner.” Mello thought aloud. 

_‘Matt was either a saint or he was a guy with no self-respect, otherwise it couldn't explain itself.’_  Light sighed, he really didn’t know if to feel pity for the dead. “Did you leave Wammy's with Matt?”

“No.” The blonde cut him off and opened the door leading to a lounge bar. 

“I thought we go out on dinner.” Light took place next to Mello. He looked around, it was a classy place where people liked to go and have their exclusive cocktails. The kind of place he liked to hang out and Mello apparently too.

“Yea let's just have an aperitif first. It's me taking you out, remember?” 

“Are you saying I'm the woman tonight?”

Mello frowned and shook his head. “No. I doubt you're a woman.” He squeezed Light's crotch, making him wince a little. “I'd just like to spoil you, my dear.” He giggled and Light tried to act nonchalantly as the barman arrived to take their order.

Light and Mello were sipping at their expensive drinks while flirting and whispering sensuous and provoking phrases in each others ears, like a normal couple would do. 

“So, what you want me to do later?” Mello purred, moving his body slowly and seductively towards Light. 

The ex-brunette sucked at his lower lip, the blonde could be so really adorable and catty when he was in the right mood. Light had understood how to work Mello to bring out his lovely side. “That sexy thing you did with your tongue... here.” He squeezed Mello's ass.

The blonde hooked a leg on Light’s thigh and licked the tip of his nose. “It's called eating ass.”

Light rolled his eyes. “I don't like vulgar terms like this. I've class, if you haven't noticed.”

“Fuck class, I eat ass.” Mello chuckled at his own rhyme. “Let's call things by their names.” Light raised an eyebrow but couldn't help, he had to smile at Mello's nonsense. 

“I'd like to fuck you tonight.” The blonde whispered.

Light chuckled softly. “Don't get used to it, blondie.”

“Why not? We can sometimes switch, there's no need you're always on top…”

“Mello…” How was he going to explain this to him? He wouldn’t give him too much freedom in their so-called relationship. “Listen…” Light took Mello’s bandaged hand and kissed it softly. But Mello's attention got caught by a group of well-dressed men entering the bar. Light's eyes followed Mello's glance. All of a sudden, the blonde was focused on something in particular, and Light noticed that the men were looking at them for a while. “Mel?”

“You see those guys?” Mello talked to him in Japanese and Light nodded. “They’re from the Italian mob. Don’t say a word and play along with me.”

Light frowned. “Do you think they want something from us?”

“Yes. They're talking about us.” 

“How do you know?” 

Mello didn’t answer, did Light need to know he could read mouth? No, he didn’t. 

Ryuk sat next to Light and sniggered, he was ready for some fun. “Oooh I love drama!”

One of the Mafiosi walked towards them, followed by other three men. “Well, well. So it’s true the dead come back to life.” The dark-haired man chuckled, his strong accent revealing his origins. “Sasha Vasiliev... is it really you?”

Mello took a sip from his drink and answered calmly. “Depends.” Light noticed he was exasperating his usually soft Russian accent. 

“Depends on what?” The Italian crossed his arms and the lackeys glared at him, but Mello didn’t lose his cool.

“Depends on who’s asking.” 

“Don’t get snotty with us, kid. You’re talking to Don Mimmo.” The tallest of the thugs warned Mello, but the blonde just rolled his eyes with utter contempt.

“Let’s say friends are trying to help you.” So-called Don Mimmo sniggered and rubbed his hands together. 

Mello raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Is that so?”

“Si si. Can we talk alone?” 

“No.” Mello shifted a little closer to Light. “He’s my partner.” Light put his arm possessively around Mello’s shoulder and glared at the Mafiosi. 

“We have heard Rod’s mob has been eliminated by Kira.” At the word  _Kira_ Light tensed slightly. Mello remained silent, only his eyes urged the Mafioso to continue. He unbuttoned Light’s jacket and let them take a glimpse at the gilded Beretta gun in the inside pocket. “We thought you could need protection, Vasiliev. You’re left on your own now.”

“Protection from what? From Kira?” Mello drank from his cocktail. “I survived death, twice. I don’t need your help.”

The Mafiosi started talking in Italian to each other. Mello didn’t speak Italian, he understood only a few words like  _buongiorno_ ,  _grazie_  and  _arrivederci_ _,_  but he understood the meaning very well, especially since he was fluent in Spanish since he had moved to Los Angeles. 

“What do you want in exchange?” Mello was curious to know what the Italian mob wanted from him. Cosa Nostra ran the dirty business on the East Coast, but here on the West Coast they were quite weak and had to deal with more powerful crime syndicates, the strongest of them had been led by Mello’s former boss and mentor, Rod Ross. It was more than obvious that the Italians tried to put their clutches on Rod’s former right hand.

“Something we should discuss alone about.” The man who acted as boss answered, Mello knew exactly he was not a big one. Rod had taught him well, this guy was just a  _capo_.

“No. I’ve already told you, he’s my partner. He stays.” 

One of the Mafiosi whispered something in the Don’s ear. Don Mimmo widened his eyes and approached Light. “So the legend is real? You are El Loco?” Light didn’t know what he was talking about and didn’t answer. “Can he not speak?”

Mello smirked. “He can. But he decided to ignore you.”

“We have work for you both.”

“Obviously you have. But I don’t know if he wants to. What do you want from us?”

“One of the world’s top hacker and LA’s best sniper could prove very useful to the Italian mafia. In exchange, we can offer you protection from Kira, the police, the feds, the CIA and whatever. Let’s agree to an Anti-Kira deal. We mobsters have to work together to take down that crazy motherfucker.”

“You think it’s a good idea to have business with the mafia?” Light asked Mello in Japanese.

“Pff. Rod taught me  _one_ thing about the Italians. They always try to screw you. Pity they don’t know you’re Kira and I’ve access to CIA servers. But we can use them for Kira’s purposes and get rid of them later.” Mello whispered in Light’s ear. 

The Japanese nodded to agree with him.  _‘Just like pieces of meat.’_ He couldn’t wait to get rid of this scum.

“Alright.” Mello turned to Don. “We have a deal. Loco agrees to cooperate with you in exchange to your willingness to create riots and anarchy when and where we need it.”

One of the Mafiosi chuckled. “If there’s something we’re good at, it’s creating chaos.”

_‘Of course.’_  Light rolled his eyes.

“And you Vasiliev?” Don stepped closer. “How will you help us?”

The blonde sniggered, making the gangster feel slightly uncomfortable. Since when had Mello such a creepy laughter? “Help you? I’m Loco’s wife, I don’t need to offer you anything.” Mello leaned his head on Light’s shoulder. “His work is more than enough.”

“You know that Italians don’t like faggots?” The youngest of the thugs growled.

“Well, that’s your fucking problem.” Mello smirked and kissed Light in front of them.

“That’s outrageous!” Don agreed to the thug. 

“Now, if you mind... I was having a romantic date with my husband.” Don and the Mafiosi were about to leave them. “By the way. Your drinks are on my tap. You’re my guests of course. To a long cooperation.” Mello raised his glass and drank it empty. 

Don shook his head, murmuring something about Mello being the hideous brat he was known for. 

The Mafiosi hadn’t seen it, but under the table Mello had played nervously with the bandage around his injured hand. The cut was deep and started bleeding again; Mello noticed a tiny amount of blood on his fingers and sucked them clean.

“Dammit. I've fucked up my bandage.” The blonde murmured and Light took his wounded hand to fix the bandage. As he looked at Mello, something was very strange in his eyes, and Ryuk was giggling like crazy behind them. Mello shifted his gaze from Light to the Mafiosi, pupils expanded and eyes widened in shock.  _‘What is it now? Did he take drugs while I wasn’t watching?’_

“I can…” Mello was short on breath, his wounded hand squeezed Light's and soiled it with blood. He felt like his heart was exploding in his chest, his perception of reality slowly twisting and making him feel like on a bad trip. “I can see their names…” He whispered, his voice feeble and trembling. 

“What the hell are you talking about, Mel?”

“Red letters... above their head.”

“The eyes...” Light understood what Mello meant and Ryuk chuckled, sitting on the table. “Did you make the eye deal with Ryuk?” 

“Are you stupid? I did nothing!” The blonde snapped, hitting his arm.

“I think pretty boy got them in the haunted house.”

“You're saying I'm possessed by a damn shinigami?” Mello was shocked and crossed himself, his right hand closed around his rosary cross. A tear rolled down his cheek, slightly smudging the black line around his eye.

“How's that possible?” Light snapped and glared at both Ryuk and Mello. 

Ryuk laughed and made a back flip. “I don't know. It's not the first time tho someone gains possession over the eyes without making the deal with a god of death.” 

“Liar!” Light hissed. “You both are liars!” What if Ryuk and Mello had conspired behind his back? Light better paid better attention to them two. Ryuk could do anything just out of sheer boredom, and Mello, well, Mello was not trustworthy in any case.

“I’m sure you have a piece of notebook with you. Write one of their names.” Mello wanted to be sure he wasn’t becoming insane. Sacrificing one of the mobsters was not tragic, they were bad men anyway. Light took a folded notebook page from his wallet; the fragment in his watch was still secretly hidden from Mello. “Giovanni Martini.” Light wrote the name Mello told him and one of the thugs died after 40 seconds. 

“It was Kira! They are here!” The gangster were panicking, Mello stood up and walked towards them, followed by Light and Ryuk. 

“You want to protect me from Kira?” Mello laughed insanely. “Kira's power has no effect on us.” The blonde stood in front of them, his face deadly serious. “You better work for us and you'll be safe from their wrath.”

“How's that possible?”

Light stood next to Mello and put his arm protectively around him, his fingers played with his rosary. “Because God protects him.” Mello’s eyes sparked insanely and he smirked at Light’s words.

“You think you’re funny, scarface?” The tall thug barked, but Mello’s glare made him freeze.

“If you go to hell and come back, nothing is funny.” 

“With us or against us, it's your decision.” Light seemed to have an intimidating effect on the mobsters. 

\---

Mello and Light crashed against the cracked door, sharing passionate and aggressive kisses. Somehow the whole situation triggered them both, and they decided to screw their dinner date and instead go to fuck in the first place they could find, which was a cheap youth hostel. 

Light pushed the door open, they both stumbled into the room. Kicking backwards, Mello slammed the door shut. The room was dark, smelly and below any hygiene standards but none of them both cared at that moment. Light slipped off his jacket and lifted Mello’s slender figure on the dresser, the blonde hooked his legs around Light’s waist and rubbed their already hard erections against each other, Light felt precum was soaking his underwear. He cupped the back of Mello’s head, fingers tangled in long blonde locks, they deepened their already sloppy kiss. Their tongues were fighting for dominance, slick noises filled the room, teeth clashed together from time to time. Light tried to have the upper hand in their kiss, as he tried to do with Mello in general, but the blonde’s fiery passion wasn’t easy to subdue. Light pushed his tongue deeper in, explored Mello’s wet mouth as much as he could, felt the other’s tongue clinging around his, found the small metal stud, which he was really longing to feel on his cock now. Light wanted to fuck Mello mindless, he wanted to wreck his tiny ass and get a blowjob at the same time. Was he really wishing he had two cocks? His hormones were really messing with his head, thinking clearly was nearly impossible now.

Light unbuckled Mello’s belt and slipped the jeans only from one leg, just letting the cloth hang between them. He lowered his own just as much as he needed to take out his throbbing cock, swollen and slick with precum, just as Mello’s. Light took them both in his hand and stroked hard, Mello moaned needy. The blonde reached down to his pants and took a tiny bottle from the pocket, uncapped it and squirted lube over their erections. It was a habit he had since he began having sex with Matt at Wammy’s, and didn’t lose that habit later when he used to sell his body. Just in case, and it had saved his ass many times. 

Light was insanely horny and impatient, he slammed his cock in Mello’s ass without forewarning. The blonde whimpered a little but got carried away as soon as Light started to rough-fucking him. Light bit down hard on his neck, his fingers seized his hipbones, nails slightly cutting sensitive skin. Light wasn’t fucking Mello, he was claiming him as  _his_ , because finally he had everything he needed to be invincible. He was ready to let his kingdom come and to become the god of a new world. He had him, his angel with the eyes of death, nobody will ever escape his merciless justice. He would eradicate all rotten and create a perfect world, a world where he was the righteous king. 

He had Misa and Teru before Mello, both had the eyes but Misa was a mindless fool and Teru had proved himself not as efficient as he had hoped. Mello was smart and, even if he was a disturbed being, he had passionate convictions about good and evil. It didn’t matter for what reason, if it was because of his Catholic beliefs wasn’t important now. As long as Near was alive, Mello was on Kira’s side. Light was ready, he was ready to start his holy war. He had his small army of allies, his own angel of death, and both notebooks belonged to him now. His path as undisputed ruler was beginning now. One after one, all his enemies will fall. 

A sharp bite in his chest called Light back to reality. Mello had loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. Light yanked his hair back and kissed his nasty mouth while slamming his hips hard against Mello’s ass. The blonde moaned, panted and sobbed at the same time, if for pain or pleasure wasn’t clear, but Light didn’t care. He was like on a rush, fucking Mello so hard and fast, that he didn’t even mind finding his prostate and to give him delight. Each violent thrust said  _mine_ , and Mello seemed to understand what his body was telling him. Light took Mello’s naked leg and squeezed his foot, licked its sole while looking at the sweaty, bruised, crying mess in front of him.

“Say my name.” Light groaned, rocking his hips so hard that it even hurt himself. “Can you see my name?”

Mello shook his head, his eyes seemed to have lost that ability, seemed to have become normal again. Light sucked the blonde’s lower lip and bit down hard on it, maybe too hard because Mello’s mouth started bleeding. Light wiped away some blood and the blonde recognized the metallic taste on his tongue. He stared at Light, his slitting eyes widened and his pupils expanded a little, shimmering red in the dim light.

“I can... I see it now.” He whispered and pulled Light in for another kiss, moaning needy in his mouth. “It is... Yagami Raito.” 

Light’s cock twitched at his words, he looked in Mello’s icy eyes and then on his blood stained lips, and he understood how Mello’s new power was working. “My name is  _Kira_.” Light growled, pulling him closer and trapping him between his arms. “I am your lord and saviour.” He laughed evilly and slammed his cock deep in Mello until he reached his awaited, mind-blowing orgasm, leaving the blonde unsatisfied and frustrated. Light rested his head on Mello’s shoulder and tried to catch his breath. Precum was oozing from the blonde’s cock and it was throbbing painfully, still waiting to be released.

Mello looked closer at the letters above Light’s head, because, unlike normal shinigami eyes, he could not just see a person’s name but also his major sins. And one of them was  _lust_.

Everything happened so fast from the moment they arrived at the hostel, and suddenly Light found himself tied to the headboard of the lousy bed. Light pulled at the silk tie that was trapping his wrists, but Mello seemed to know very well what he was doing, and it was impossible to free himself from the tight knots. Mello slipped off Light’s trousers and threw them on the floor. He took off his own jeans, the remaining boot and shirt until he was sitting naked on Light’s lap, rolling sensually his hips and smiling mischievously at him. 

“Mel-“ The blonde silenced him with a passionate kiss, then his lips travelled down his neck and licked, sucked, nibbled at his slightly tanned skin, smelled the expensive, alluring fragrance. Mello was a passionate boy and he loved to use each of his senses to involve his partner in his love games. Touching, smelling, tasting, feeling skin against skin, listening to soft moans, watching to the other’s body reactions. Skin forming into goose bumps at his touch, red marks left from teeth and nails, nipples hardening and cock twitching at his teasing body. Mello could be a little tease if he wanted and Light was the first human, apart from Matt, that he didn’t consider disgusting.

Light’s cock hadn’t even hardened fully when Mello took him in his mouth, sucking at his head almost forcefully. Light didn’t even try to resist the seducing blonde, because it was exactly where he wanted him to be. Mello coated two of his fingers with lube and entered Light slowly, carefully. The ex-brunette groaned and closed his eyes, abandoned to Mello’s lust, feeling pleasure at both ends. He felt his cock slipping down the other’s throat, fingers stimulating softly his prostate. 

Light was particularly taken by that moment, that he didn’t even notice that Mello withdrew his fingers and sat up between his legs, but he realised very well as his cock entered him slowly. Mello had prepped him well and slicked his cock with enough lube to slip into him effortlessly, but Light wasn’t very pleased about his initiative. Mello had not the right to take him without permission, who was he to do so?

“Mello!” Light tried again to free his tied hands but it was impossible. Mello lowered on him and kissed his lips, giving him a short time to adjust to his size. His long fingers grabbed his thigh, squeezed his ass as he started moving his hips. Mello was neither violent nor gentle, and Light couldn’t actually complain he was hurting him, except for the first few moments. His pride although didn’t like that. At all. “Go down from me!”

“You didn’t make me come. You didn’t even mind touching me.” Mello purred in his ear, nibbling at his neck. “That’s not how it works, Lord Kira. You told me we’re equals... you told me you trust me.” The blonde sucked at his nipple and slipped his arm around Light’s waist to raise his hips a little. “I’m good too, you know...”

“It hurts.” Light pretended to feel pain, but the only pain he was feeling was in his pride and not in his ass for sure. On contrary, Mello was a better lover than he remembered. 

For a moment Mello thought about stopping, but Light wasn’t really convincing. He was moaning lustfully and his body told the complete contrary to his words. The blonde rocked his hips, driving deeper into Light and hitting his pleasure spot over and over, making him squirm of pleasure. 

It was hot in the room and beads of sweat formed on their skin. “Mello free me. It’s too tight.” But the blonde mobster ignored him and hooked his arms behind Light’s knees, spreading him more. “Mello!” Light lamented again, but Mello felt their climaxes building up, longing desperately for his own release. 

“I’m just giving you what you want...” He whispered in Light’s ear, while his length was rubbing his prostate, sending strange but pleasant sparks through his body.

“I don’t want this!” Light protested and pulled at the tie again, but his body betrayed him as Mello sent him over the edge, his cock spilling cum all over his stomach. Spasms ran through his loins and his insides tightened around Mello’s swollen cock, and he followed him a minute later, releasing deep into him. 

What a disgusting thought to be taken, claimed and soiled like this. But why did he feel that bliss, then? Why were Mello’s soft kisses on his chest not filthy, why didn’t it feel revolting as he carefully took out his softening member and cleaned them both gently? But Mello had not the right to do with him as he pleased. Not a bit.

“Were you so harsh with your Matt too?” Light lamented and pulled at the tied wrists. 

“Matt never complained about how hard I fucked him.” 

“Well, you're not with Matt anymore. I'm your boyfriend now.” Light barked but it wasn't a smart move. Light had been nasty to Mello too many times, sooner or later he had to pay for it. A sharp pain hit Light's face, his cheek burnt.

“Fuck you, asshole!” Mello spat at him and his icy eyes lit up. 

“Free me now!” Light felt something sticky dribbling from his hole and hoped Mello wouldn’t push it back in like he had done many times. It was awfully disgusting.

Mello ignored his request. “You think I'm stupid, don't you?”

“What do you mean?” 

“You think I don't know what's going through your sick mind? You think I'm not fucking aware that this boyfriend shit is a setup.”

“Setup? Come on! What are you talking about?” Light played innocent as always when someone struck a nerve.

“You're fucking me just to fool me! You think looking alike Matt would make me fall in love with you, stupid bastard?” Mello yelled at him, his icy eyes spitting venom. “So you can use me like you please, right?”

Light shook his head and blinked innocently with his amber eyes. “No, Mello I didn't know-”

“Don't fucking lie, I know you have his passport. I’ve been a fucking hooker, I'm not so easy to fool.” Mello started collecting his clothes while yelling hysterically at Light. “You and Kira can kindly go fuck yourself!”

“You’re right Mello, you're a slut! And you're fucking with me just for convenience. You think you can use Light Yagami for your own interests? And you know what? Considering you’re a whore you're pretty lame in bed.” 

“Yeah because I hate it to be bottomed!” Mello threw a clothing item at him and dressed himself. 

“Free me Mello! You're gonna regret it!”

“Fuck you!” Mello cleaned the smudged make-up around his eyes. So he was right, and Light didn’t even deny it. 

“Come back! Where are you going?” Mello put on his boots and opened the door. “Go you bastard! Go get some cock you fucking whore! I hope someone will rape your ass!” Light yelled after him.

Mello came back and picked up his beloved Beretta gun.  _‘Maria protects me.’_  He stuffed the weapon in his jeans and left without saying anything. 

“You slut! All the bad you’ve been through was not enough, you miserable scum!” The shinigami appeared from the ceiling, hanging upside down. “This isn’t funny!” Light glared at Ryuk, who was giggling and flowing through the hostel room. 

“Pretty boy taught you a lesson. It was about time.” Probably this was one of the funniest moments in Ryuk’s life.

**September 2009, Venice Beach, California**

Matt and Mello were sitting on the beach, the blonde was resting his head on the redhead's shoulder, both were watching the red sun slowly getting swallowed by the ocean. Matt extinguished the joint in the sand and took a sip from the liquor hidden by a paper bag. He tightened the grip around his boyfriend's waist, smelled briefly his vanilla scented hair before giving a kiss on his head.

“What are you thinking babe?” Mello murmured and lit up a cigarette; Matt handed him the bottle.

“I was just wondering…” Matt was drawing patterns in the sand. “Where do you want to be when you're dead?”

Mello took a swig, Matt was in a pseudo-spiritual mood, as usual when he was stoned. “In paradise of course.”

“I didn't mean that, Miško.” 

“What then?” Mello sat up straight and faced Matt. 

“When you die… what do you want your body to happen?” Mello stared speechless in Matt's eyes, they were sparkling turquoise in the red light. “I'd like to be cremated and my ashes scattered in the ocean.” Matt reached for the bottle and took a huge swig. “Dunno maybe… my ashes thrown to the waves from a beautiful shore… while it's snowing.” Matt's eyes looked into space.

“Matt it never snows in LA.” Mello snapped nervously, hoping to call his dreamer boyfriend back to reality. 

But Matt was still on a higher ground, his thoughts rushing free through his mind. “Yea Mells but I don't want to die in LA. Maybe in Russia, or in Japan or in Ser-”

“Matt!” The blonde cut him off and snatched the bottle from his hands. “Why are you talking about this?” 

“I don't -”

“Do you know what insensitive bastard you are? Don't you dare to die before me! Don't dare to leave me here without you!” 

“Why Mello? Why do you have the right to walk the easier path? You think it would be easier for me? After you've left me already once?”

“Kurva! You came up with this!” Mello yelled hysterically.

“Mel.” 

“Fuck you!” Mello shoved Matt so that he fell back into the sand. He was upset and left.

“Miško!”

But Mello didn’t answer and left Matt there, and started walking along the streets. Why did Matt come up with this topic? Why did the thought of being alone hurt him so much? Matt wouldn’t die before him. He was the reckless, he was the mobster, he would die young. But if he died first, what will become of Matt? 

\---

Mello was sitting in the sand of Venice beach, drinking vodka from a small bottle hidden in a paper bag. There was a time he liked watching sunsets and the pier from here, but somehow he couldn’t enjoy that anymore. He drank the bottle empty and left again, walking along the crowded streets of Venice Boulevard. Mello lit up a cigarette, his state was a complete mess. The bandage had removed from his hand, his white jeans were soiled with blood, his good hand was carrying a paper bag that was patently hiding a gun. Nobody seemed to care about him, about the blonde with the scarred face, about the boy crying behind his sunglasses. Nobody cared if he looked like a lunatic or a murderer or if he might just be a wannabe actor. People in Los Angeles were used to see literally everything, he was just another face in the crowd. And for once, it didn’t matter to him, for once he was happy merge in the masses. He’d never thought he could feel so lonely between so many people. 

_‘Matt... where are you? Why can’t I feel you anymore...?’_

Mello threw the cigarette bud on the ground and took out the chocolate leftover from his bum bag. The heat made the sweet melt, but he didn’t care and licked it from the wrapper, throwing the empty package randomly behind him. The bittersweet chocolate didn’t soothe his sadness and tears still rolled from his aching eyes. Somehow his whole life seemed to flash before him, and he realised how pathetic and useless his existence was, and wished he could simply put an end to it.

Then he remembered that long ago, he'd promised to pay his own life to win, out of hate, spite and revenge. But he hadn't considered that there was a price far dearer to pay than his life, it was his humanity and the chance to be happy. What was left to him anymore? He couldn’t trust anyone, not Jonnie, not Georgios and least of all, Light. Mello felt like waking up from a long, long dream, and felt thrown into a reality he couldn’t recognize anymore. At this moment Mello finally realised that Matt wasn't with him anymore and that he was… alone. 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I really want to thank my insta fellows K and S who sent me their Sinners-inpsired Mello drawings (you know who you are)  
> sstwinscosplay and their cool Mello cosplay, check them out   
> https://www.instagram.com/p/BqT89KtHI54/
> 
> and of course thanks everyone for reading, and if you comment, tell me if you're #teammello or #teamlight   
> the next chapter won't take another two months, I promise
> 
> \---
> 
> REFS AND STUFF:
> 
> Aleksandr 'Sasha' Vasiliev is Mello's alias he's using since he left Wammy's
> 
> Mello's Beretta is named 'Maria'   
> I always think about Tybalt Capulet's gun in Romeo + Juliet  
> http://www.imfdb.org/images/thumb/3/3c/RJ-01462.jpg/800px-RJ-01462.jpg
> 
> Also the fact that dreamer boy Matt liked to hang out at Venice Beach is inspired by R+J  
> his nickname 'El Loco' (the fool) will be explained in the next chapter, when Light finds out about why he got that name. 
> 
> Mello's boots:  
> https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/SPEAAOSwjpRaqu2q/s-l640.jpg
> 
> Mello's perfume is One Million by Paco Rabanne, Light's is Acqua di Giò by Giorgio Armani
> 
> Drawing is by me, the watermark is ugly but unfortunately someone told me that some smartass stole my pics and put them on Amino. Please do not share/repost my art without permission. My only sm are Instagram, Tumblr and VK.


	22. Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mello left Light alone in a hostel and is gone. But when they will meet again something will change.  
> Light will find out more about Matt, Mello is getting tired of everything. 
> 
> A bit more Light-centric chapter.
> 
> Trigger warning: dubious consent, mentioned rape, drug abuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VNV Nation - Control  
> https://youtu.be/4ik3lXEU0-0
> 
> If I should give in, if I should turn away  
> Not a god, not a devil my soul could save  
> I want more body, I want more soul  
> Flip the switch to automatic, I want control

 

“Mello!” Light yelled but no response came back. The former mobster had left him there; naked, tied up and fucked. How did Mello dare to do this? How did he dare to challenge him, the god of the new world? Light was furious. He was furious with Mello for doing this to him but he was even more furious with himself for getting into this, and even worse, that he had liked it. Mello was soiling his moral well-being, it was _disgusting_.

“Ryuk!” Light yelled again and the shinigami chuckled, floating upside down. “Do something!”

“Like?”

“Go after him!” Light screamed hysterically and pulled at his tied wrists. “Make him come back! Or just free me from this damn tie!”

“Have you not learned from pretty boy how to free from being tied up?” Ryuk giggled. “He’s better than you, Light. And it’s way too fun to watch you.”

Light pulled again at the tie. “You’re not much help!”

“No, I’m not.” Ryuk laughed and made a backflip. “But I’m amused. My help has a price. Do you see any apples? I can’t see any.”

Light rolled his eyes. _‘Damn shinigami. I’ll get rid of you sooner or later. You and that blonde whore…’_ Light calmed down, there must be a way to get rid of the bondage. If Mello could free from handcuffs, he could free from a stupid silk tie.

 

“That blonde whore tied me up and ripped me off!” Light complained to the concierge of the lousy hostel. “Where did he go?”

The fat guy shrugged and dunked the chocolate-covered doughnut in a huge cup of steaming coffee. A lit up cigarette was smoking itself in the ashtray. Light thought people like him had to get wiped off the face of the earth. Fat, dirty and lazy, three things he absolutely hated.

“You’re looking for a pretty blonde guy…” The man groaned and gnawed at the doughnut.

“Yea. He’s not very tall and was wearing a black shirt and white jeans. He’s covered in tattoos and-”

“Well, good luck.” The fat guy pulled from the cigarette and blew the smoke in Light’s face. _‘You insolent boor.’_ “Everyone in LA is blonde…” Light rolled his eyes and found the small name target hidden behind the telephone. “And is pretty…” Light leaned over a little so he could read the name of the lazy man. “And has tattoos.”

“Yes, yes, I get it.” Light ran out from the hostel and looked left and right. It wasn’t that long since Mello had left, but where the hell did he go? The lazy guy was right, it was full of tattooed blondes dressed like parrots. He’ll never find him here. Where might he go? Sooner or later he had to go home. What if he was already on his way? What if he wants the notebooks? _‘Dammit Mello!’_ Light couldn’t do much now, but he could unleash his anger on the lazy concierge. “Choke on that damn doughnut, fat bastard.” Light murmured while scribbling the name on a piece of death note.

Light tried a last time to look for Mello, but the streets in Venice were overcrowded. He saw a tattooed blonde dressed in black and ran after him. “Mel!” He grabbed his shoulder and the blonde turned, but it wasn't Mello. “Sorry I've mistaken you for someone else.”

It had no point, he'd never found Mello amidst all those people. Light rubbed his eyes and huffed.

“You know Light, I really wonder why you care so much for pretty boy.” Ryuk landed next to him on the street, some people walked through him and he giggled.

“I don’t care for that lunatic bitch, you idiot. I need his eyes.” Light looked around, observed the crowd around him. _‘This world is so rotten.’_

 

\---

 

Light paid the taxi driver and tried to open the small gate leading to Mello’s property, but it was locked. He climbed over it and walked up the stairs leading to the beach house, the door was locked too and Mello was not at home, the lights were out. He could try to break in but as he fumbled in his pockets, he realised he had nothing to try with. _‘Damn…’_ Light heard a loud noise coming from the house further down the beach. A little smirk appeared on his face, sometimes things found their own way, somehow.

Light ran up the stairs and fixed his hair with his fingers before knocking at the door. Georgios opened, dressed only in short track pants, and looked a little surprised seeing only Light in front of him. “Where’s Mel?”

“Uhm… we were out on a date and had a fight and he disappeared. I have no clue where he might be.” Light faked a worried expression and the tall Greek let him in.

“It’s always the same with that guy…” Georgios muttered and rolled his eyes.

“Always… the same?” Light wondered and took place on the couch. “Hey Jonnie.”

The sheboy smiled briefly at him, not really considering him, her attention focused on counting several coloured pills.

“What happened?” Georgios sat next to him and pulled from a joint.

“Well…” Light ran his fingers through his hair. “We were on a date, and Mello said something about Matt and freaked out… I got angry he talked about Matt, and then he simply left without saying anything.” Light huffed, faking guilty feelings. “I tried to look after him but I couldn’t find him anywhere. He's not at home and he still has no mobile… I’m afraid something might happen to him.”

Jonnie squeaked loud and laughed to her own amusement. “You’re together since two hours and Barbie already fucked up.”

Light frowned and Georgios made him sign to not listen to her. “It’s not you, Light. He did that with Matt too.” He offered Light the joint but he declined politely.

“Saint Matt.” Jonnie threw in and sealed a small sachet full of pills.

The Greek stood up and poured a glass of whisky, giving it to Light. “I mean, you remind so much of Matt, maybe Mel got one drink too many and couldn’t hold back. Don’t take it personally.”

“It’s not that, it’s just…” Light took a sip whisky, finally something to his taste. “I really don’t know how to deal with this, because it’s annoying for me too, you see. I have feelings as well.”

Ryuk cackled loud behind them and Light was mentally cursing him. “Poor Light.”

“Of course.” Georgios said while smoking. “You can’t say anything ‘cause it’s not nice, but it’s annoying for you too to hear talking about him all the time.”

“Yeah, it’s…” Light sighed and drank. “Frustrating.” Seriously, who the hell was this Matt, how dared they to compare a crappy antisocial hacker to him.

“Just tell him you love him.” Jonnie was counting another set of pills.

“Jonnie!”

“I’m not even sure if I’m at that point already, I mean-”

“Who the fuck cares. Just tell Barbie, and he’s happy.” The sheboy didn’t look at them, busy filling another sachet. Light looked at Georgios, who shrugged and raised both eyebrows. “Trust me, it’ll work. He just needs to feel safe. Who cares if it’s true or not, as long as he will be good.”

 _‘Well, Jonnie has a point, after all. Who cares about three stupid words, I’ve told them to Misa and Kiyomi enough times.’_ Light glared in Ryuk’s fullmoon eyes, giving him to understand to not say something stupid.

“Thanks for the advice, but I don’t feel comfortable telling lies.” Light took another sip of whisky. “What are you doing?”

“I’m preparing my client’s candy-candy.” Jonnie squeaked but stopped as she realised Light was Kira, and Kira didn’t like criminals. “Oooh but now you won’t write my name in the notebook, will you?”

Light shook his head. “I’ve other things to think about. I can get past this.” _‘For now.’_

“But... actually the whole drug cartel is very very criminal.” Jonnie started babbling, and neither Light nor Georgios paid her much attention. “You’re just sparing me because you know me. But we all are bound to your personal judgement. I mean, which standards of justice do you follow? Because in some cultures drugs and prostitution are not a topic.”

“Jonnie shut up.” The Greek warned her but she ignored him.

“What? It’s true. In some tribal cultures rape and murder are not punished.”

“Well we all argue that in a civilised world we have to live together peacefully, so all violent behaviour has to be punished, and with it, anything that harms the other.”

The sheboy stared dead serious in his amber eyes, her own flickered strangely. Ryuk made a backflip in the air. “But drugs can be dangerous too.”

Jonnie started laughing like crazy and clapped her hands. “Of course we agree on that. I completely trust in your judgement. Light is the best, yes yes yes.”

Light smiled back, but he still felt tension between them. Georgios was right as he said he shouldn’t trust Mello and Jonnie. Those two were way too unstable. A loud scream broke the tension, it was Jonnie who jumped up all of a sudden.

“Don’t fucking scream like an idiot!” Georgios carefully picked up the rainbow boa that was crawling along the cushions. “You scare her!”

“Do you always have to let her out when I’m at home?”

Georgios put the snake on his lap and Light observed briefly the reptile, its greyish eyes remind him so much at Mello’s icy irises.

“May I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Georgios filled another two glasses with whisky.

“Why was Matt called Loco? Doesn’t that mean madman?”

“Yea… why are you asking?”

“We met some mafia guys in a bar and they called me Loco thinking I was Matt.”

Georgios snapped his fingers. “Oh shit, now I get why Mel freaked out.”

“Once Barbie got in trouble because of his mafia pimps and Matt got all crazy, so he took his guns and went straight into the mafia hideout. I think he had killed five or six thugs. They were ready to shoot him down but the boss decided a tough hacker guy like him could prove very useful. Plus he was Mello’s boyfriend and Mel was the boss’ pet so…” Jonnie shrugged.

“Well it seems like this Matt was a real badass, huh Light?” Ryuk grinned cunningly. “Running into a mafia hideout is kinda brave.”

Light rolled his eyes but shrieked as he found the snake right in front of his face. The reptile hissed and Light shivered at the sight of those horrendous fangs.

“Stay calm, Light.” Georgios took carefully the snake. “No sudden movements if a snake tries to attack you. Hydra is not dangerous.”

“Nooo Hydra is not dangerous.”

Georgios didn’t pay attention to Jonnie’s words, sat back in the couch with the snake around his neck. Light noticed the dreadlocked guy was so serious all of a sudden. “Honestly guys… I’m worried Mel tries to kill himself.”

“He can’t kill himself, you stupid.” Jonnie shot him a glare. “Catholics see suicide as a heavy sin, plus if Barbie kills himself he’ll go to the limbo and never meet Matt again.”

“Ah.” Georgios built another joint. “Never heard about that.”

 _‘Humans are so entertaining.’_ Ryuk observed the three guys discussing about religion, beliefs and afterlife.

 

\---

 

Mello threw himself on the backseats of an old, stinky taxi. The Filipino driver turned to him and giggled. Mello was aware that he looked like a mess but he was sure this car had been through the wars. He felt his skin already itching, why were humans so disgusting?

“Malibu.”

The man lit the engine and was still giggling like an idiot. “Are you all right? You look a bit shaken up.”

Mello touched his long hair to check if it was covering the scarred part of his face. He flashed a charming smile to the driver who was looking at him through the rear-view mirror. “Don’t worry, it’s all fake.” He checked the sloppy bandage on his left hand, the wound seemed dry now.

“Oooh of course. Model? Actor?”

“Musician.” Mello looked out of the window, it was already dark outside.

“I bet you’re in a rock band. And you just shot a music video.”

 _‘I bet you’re gonna ask my signature, pathetic swine.’_ Mello acted like a snob, the way it came more natural to him. “You’ll see us on MTV in a few months.”

 

Mello closed the door behind him and leaned against it. The house was dark, but somehow he had the feeling he wasn’t alone in there. Was it Ryuk?

“Welcome home, _my dear_.”

Light switched on, and Light was sitting on the couch, glaring at him. Mello froze for a few seconds, but he wasn’t surprised at all. Of course Light had rushed back home and picked up the spare key at Georgios’ place. He couldn’t risk his precious notebooks. _‘Light has still so much to lose.’_

“It took you quite a while to come back home.” Light stood up and put an empty glass on the small table next to a bottle Laphroaig, _Matt’s_ Laphroaig. Even that they had in common. Kind of ironic. Light walked towards him until he stood right in front of the smaller boy.

“If I had a mobile, you could have called me.” Mello looked up to Light, challenging him with his eyes.

“You don’t need one, you’re not allowed to stay alone. Where have you been?”

“You mean, you don’t know?” Mello chuckled and his eyes flickered. “Was Ryuk not ratting on me this time?”

Light shoved the blonde against the door, his back hit really hard on the wood. “Were you whoring around?”

“You’re quite jealous considering you only see me as your slut.” Mello spat back and earned a hard smack on his cheek. But Mello has grown tired of Light’s tyranny and wasn’t going to take it anymore. It was time to turn the tables. Light stared in Mello’s icy eyes, something was different, something… Mello never showed real fear, but this time it seemed as if he could kill with one single eyelook. They exchanged glances, and a few seconds later Light was on the floor with Mello on top of him, the gun pointed to his face. The golden cross was hanging from the hand grip of Mello’s beloved weapon. Light asked himself when he would stop underestimating Mello.

“I know you won’t shoot.” Light swallowed nervously and hoped Mello didn’t notice. Mello was a good actor, but he was better. _When a snake is attacking you, remain calm_ , Light remind Georgios' words. He had to be particularly careful about Mello’s hidden side, because he was a serpent in disguise. Mello looked down to him, his eyes so very frostbitten. And then, he pulled the trigger. Light closed his eyes and held his breath.

 

Nothing. The firearm didn’t shoot, but a moment later Light felt something hard hitting him in the face, his cheek burning.

“I don’t need a fucking gun to kill you!” Mello growled, holding the gun by the barrel.

“What the…” Light touched his aching cheek, the bastard had pistol whipped him.

“You think I’m fucking stupid and run around with loaded gun?” Light noticed only now that there was no magazine. “You fucking idiot!” Mello stood up and placed the gun on the computer desk.

“That’s right, you could have killed me many times.” Light remained calm, even if he was boiling mad. “That means there’s something between us, whatever it is.” Light walked closer to Mello. The blonde shrugged and loaded his gun. Light observed him, if he hadn’t shot him so far, there was no point he would do it now. And still, it felt uneasy being close to the unstable blonde wielding a gun. Mello polished the gold plated weapon and put it on the small to altar, next to the Holy Mary figurine and Matt’s photography.

“Do you always lie?” Mello asked him after a while of silence, removed his rosary and kissed the cross. He put the trinket on the altar and sprinkled it with holy water.

Light chuckled. “You know, L had asked me the exact same, once.”

Mello turned to him and raised an eyebrow. “And what did you answer?” He stood in front of him now; Light chuckled again but didn’t answer. Mello had said more than once that he didn’t like L but he never said he wouldn’t revenge his death. Better avoid putting weird thoughts in the blonde’s twisted mind; he was one of Wammy’s boys after all. Light stepped closer and tried to take Mello’s bandaged hand but the blonde avoided his touch. ‘ _What a mistake_.’

“How many times have you lied in your life?” Light turned Mello’s words on him but Mello frowned.

“What do you think about me? You really think I’m a blonde whore, like you always call me, and easy to manipulate? You can’t be such an idiot, you’re way too smart.”

“What I think about you?” Mello nodded and Light stepped closer again, backing him against the desk. The blonde whimpered as Light’s hand squeezed his cheeks.

“I think you wish you were a better person. But you're perverse. You enjoy seeing the others suffer. You believe in justice because it's the only thing that gives you hope in this rotten, wrecked world.” Light paused and let Mello reflect briefly on his words. “We are so alike, Mello. Can you not see that? Or are you really so blinded by your stupid pride?”

“Pride?” Mello frowned and looked around, thought about all his achievements. “At least I have a right to be.” He pushed Light away from him, felt how he tried to subjugate him. Funny how of all Mr. Arrogance accused him of being prideful.

“So? Being a whore is something to be proud about?” Light chuckled sardonically but Mello ignored his provocation.

“At least I did everything on my own. I build all this by myself.” Mello pointed his index on Light’s chest. “And you? Is there something you didn’t get shoved up your precious arse, Mr. Straight A Student?”

Ryuk appeared behind them and laughed. Seeing Light and Mello in a heated debate was exactly what he hoped to see now.

“Oh, wait. The notebook! You got it per coincidence, and just because a stupid shinigami was bored.” Mello laughed mockingly. “You’re just lucky, Yagami. Not even the power of Kira came to you because you’ve earned it.”

Light was fuming from anger, but remained composed. Mello was already on edge, and Light was worried for his wellbeing they would end up in a violent brawl. Mello was probably more used to fight than him. “Well, it’s not my fault if your parents died and left you without anything.”

Mello’s reaction was strange. He didn’t seem angry, he seemed amused somehow. “And how many people died for you, Light?”

“And how many for you?” Mello remained silent. “The only person you loved died for you, Mello. And you haven’t learned _anything_ from it.” The blonde pushed him aside and took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. Marlboro reds, Matt’s favourite ones. Mello was turning his back to Light, tried to light up the cigarette but his hands were a little shaky. Of course he was nervous, but Light didn’t need to know everything. _‘I’m stronger than this.’_

As he turned his eyes pierced coldly in Light’s. “What? No crying this time? Don’t tell me you got finally over it? Or were you just acting as you whined like a girl?”

“Yes Light. Like you, when you killed Misa, Sayu and Sachiko and cried for about ten minutes.” Light formed his hands to fists, what game was Mello playing now? Mello pulled from the cigarette and remained calm. “How many times have you cried over your dead father’s corpse?” Light didn’t answer, Mello had a point here. Why couldn’t he think otherwise that they deserved to die, because they were _against_ Kira. “Kira is cruel.”

“Only the cruel are right.”

_‘Like God.’_

“Why did you insist I shall kill them for mercy?” Mello smoked in silence, Light stepped slowly closer. Ryuk seemed particularly thrilled by this situation, he didn't even give his own, unwanted opinion all the time. “You don't really believe in mercy killing, do you?”

“Don’t you get I did it for your own fucking sake, Light. You don't really want to see their faces if they found out you're Kira. Because they’d found out sooner or later.”

_‘Mum would never forgive me for what happened to Sayu and dad… never. She'd never understand what it means being Kira. This burden… nobody understands.’_

Mello sighed and extinguished the cigarette in the golden ashtray. Light observed him carefully, was he really apologetic for their deaths or was it just empty words, again? If L was hard to read, Mello was unpredictable, he was way too unstable and ambiguous.

Mello let himself fall on the couch. “All this is bloody ridiculous. You treated me better when I was just your captive.”

“Mello-” Light didn’t follow his logic.

“I don't like it to be used. Let’s end this...”

“You've always been one of them, don't you?” Light stepped closer and stood in front of the blonde.

“One of … whom?” Mello looked up and frowned.

“You like to blow their mind. It makes you feel powerful. You use them as you please. And then you throw them away.”

“I'm not like you, Light.” Mello touched the tattooed cross on his chest, like hell he was like him. He didn't know in what justice Light believed in, because the only righteous judge was God. Light was just the false prophet claiming to be the divine salvation. _‘Like all the other ones…’_

There was a long silence. Mello waited for a response he didn't care about, and Light was scheming Mello's final downfall. _Just say him you love him and he's happy_. Jonnie had told him but was it really so easy?

 _‘You're not that naive, are you? Or is your need for attention so desperate to blind your good sense.’_ Light took Mello's good hand and made him stand up.

“You don’t understand, Mello? I am the chosen one. The desire for revenge burns high in you like the need for justice does in me. Who killed Matt? I can execute then all for you, one after one. But I need you by my side.” Light took one of the notebooks and showed him Kiyomi’s name written in it. “I need your help, Mello. Our enemies are the same.”

Mello's eyes widened a little as he read the Japanese name on a piece of paper. _‘So you didn't shoot her.’_

Light cupped his chin and raised his face a little, their lips so very close. “You and I are so alike, Mello. Justice and revenge will walk hand in hand. We can clean the world from all evil and make it to a better place. A new world.”

 _‘The thousand years…’_ Mello swallowed and let Light cup his cheek.

 _‘Come on, it’s just words… say it dammit! His eyes, I need his damn eyes!’_ “You don’t understand that…” Light looked deep into his eyes. “I love you, Mihael.”

Mello froze, and he froze as Light cupped the back of his head and kissed him deeply. It took Mello a few seconds to realise what the fuck Light told him, and it took him quite some minutes to break their kiss.

The blonde looked in Light's amber eyes, wondering what he was trying to find in there. Was he hoping it was a lie or the truth? A hard slap hit Light's already hurting cheek and made his head turn sideways. _‘Well, at least a reaction, finally.’_ He touched his aching cheek, his skin was burning painfully. Mello was indeed stronger than he seemed.

“Are you fucking done talking shit?”

“Well, it's not that I like it either.” Light snapped at the younger one. “Deal with it and shut up, lunatic bitch.” Mello gave him is middle finger and was about to hit him again, but Light caught his wrist. He pushed Mello hard against the wall, kissed him again. He lifted one of Mello's long legs and ran his hand along his thigh, Mello purred in response and grabbed his collar, pulled him closer. _‘God, why am I so weak…?’_

“You need a shower. You smell like a whore.”

“Well not that it's your business, but I wasn't looking for cock.” The blonde spat at him, but Light was right. His condition was awful, how many people did he accidentally touch? Disgusting.

“Of course not, you have me.” Mello glared at him and Light unbuttoned Mello’s dirty satin shirt. “I know you weren't whoring around.” He said softly and smiled. Mello rolled his eyes and made a grimace, but smiled back somehow.

 

Mello entered the bathroom and left the door open, so glimpses of light could follow him. He didn’t want to turn on the lights, his eyes were sore. Mello stood in front of the sink, looking at his pathetic reflection in the mirror. His eyes were red and swollen, his lips chapped. He was feeling like the day Light had kidnapped him, or maybe even worse. His fingers ran over his scarred cheek, the skin dry and itching. _‘My eyes are so…’_ Mello looked closer into the mirror, and for the glimpse of a second the man with red eyes smiled evilly at him. Mello froze, his right hand made the cross sign and searched for the missing crucifix. _‘Fuck! Not again.’_ He stared at the mirror but it was only him now. ‘ _Matt… why have you left me? I can’t feel you anymore.’_

“What is it Mello? Why so serious?” Light came in and took of his shirt, showing his muscular physique.

“Hm? Nothing. I have breakout.”

Light raised an eyebrow. “Well if you'd eat less chocolate, you won't have any breakout.”

“What the fuck, I don't get breakout from chocolate. I'm stressed.”

“If you say so.”

“Yes, I say so! My skin has always been flawless. I got breakout since you kidnapped me.” Mello was washing compulsively his hands, avoiding looking at the mirror. _‘Actually, since Matt died, but do you care? No.’_

“Maybe if you'd drank less and don't take drugs your skin would look a little better.”

“Yea I bet you never had breakout.” Mello rolled his eyes and snapped at him.

“No. If you'd had a healthy life like me maybe your skin would be grateful.” Light unbuckled his belt and let the trousers fall to his feet.

Mello kicked off his expensive designer jeans, and threw them somewhere in a corner. He’ll throw them away, he had no intention to bring that damn cloth to the dry cleaning. “How am I supposed to run around like this? Look at me!”

“For God's sake Mello! As if it would change something with the scar on your face.”

“Did I ask for your opinion, asshole?”

Light slapped his ass. “Get in the shower.” He took off his briefs and picked up the dirty clothes from the floor, putting them in the laundry basket.

 

Light washed Mello’s body meticulously with soap before letting him close to him again. The blonde enjoyed it, but as he looked to the mirrored wall, he shivered again. Red glowing eyes were staring at him, making him feel uncomfortable. Mello felt his heart beat increasing fast, and his breath short. _‘No, no, not now…’_

Light pushed him against the mirror wall, rubbed his hard cock against his ass. “I want to see your face while I fuck you hard and slap your pretty ass… and while you scream my name.” He purred in his ear, but Mello didn’t want to look at the mirror.

“I have a better idea…” Mello slid sensually his body along Light’s.

“I don’t think so…” Light pressed Mello’s body hard against the mirror, he felt Light’s erection in his ass crack, his own erection trapped painfully between his belly and the wall. Light took his hands and pinned them above his head.

“Y-yes… trust me. Fucking someone in front of a mirror is nice… but seeing someone kneeling in front of you and sucking you is sooo much better.” Light remained silent, thinking about Mello’s proposal. “Can you say no to me wanting to please Lord Kira?” Not that it mattered to him, he just wanted to avoid looking at that damn mirror.

“Well, I guess I can’t say no…” Light let him go, and Mello turned around and knelt in front of him. His cunning eyes looked up to Light as his tongue ran along his whole length, his lips closed around Light’s tip, sucking precum from it. Mello flicked his pierced tongue another few times around his tip before taking him in his mouth, trying to give Light the best blowjob of his life. Mello’s fingers squeezed Light’s ass, while he was deep-throating him devotedly, maintaining eye contact with him.

The ex-brunette ran his fingers through Mello’s long hair, pulled slightly and smirked as the blonde groaned lasciviously. He looked at his own reflection in the mirror, at Mello on his knees, so intent on pleasing him. Mello was right, it was better than fucking him, it was so much more exciting. It made him feel as if he had control. _‘Mello, you know too many things…’_ Light thought for himself, thrilled about the situation.

Mello stopped sucking him, kissed his length downwards, he licked his balls, took one in his mouth and sucked gently. Light groaned, pulled harder at Mello’s hair. The blonde hissed a little, and slipped carefully two fingers in Light’s ass, searching immediately for his pleasure spot.

“Dammit Mello.” Light groaned and took the blonde-haired head between his hands, forced his cock in that sinful mouth. Mello welcomed him in, and didn’t try to break free as Light started to fuck his mouth mercilessly, his tip hitting the back of his throat.

Light’s libido was raising so fast, too fast but he didn’t care. He would fuck Mello as many times as he wanted, he was _his_. Mello’s fingers rubbed his prostate, he felt his climax building up incredibly fast.

Mello felt Light’s cock twitching a few times before shooting a huge amount of cum down his throat, the ring of muscles tightening around his fingers. He licked its tip, cleaning up every drop, his eyes looking satisfied up to Light.

“I’m not done with you, princess.” Light pulled Mello up and smacked him against the wall.

“Don’t call me p-” He tried to protest but Light crashed their lips together. He grabbed his slender thighs and put them around his waist, his cock was already hardening again.

It took Light only a minute or two to get ready, they hadn’t any lube here, so he rubbed his tip on Mello’s hole until his cock slipped in by itself.

Mello gasped and whimpered a little; held firmly on Light’s shoulder, his eyes searched for the other. “G-god, Light you’re so…” Mello panted and Light put one of his legs over his shoulder, started to fuck him hard against the wall.

Light’s lips found Mello’s neck, sucked at it while he rammed his cock deep in Mello’s tight ass. He felt fingernails digging into his flesh, but the soft moans in his ear made up for the pain. “Mello…” He purred in his neck, biting softly in the sweet pale skin.

“D-don’t stop… please…” Mello begged desperately, holding tighter on Light. He had no control over his trapped body, he couldn’t really move, only his swollen cock bounced up and down at each of Light’s thrusts. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall, it was harder to breathe as closer as he was getting to his own climax. Light’s arms were wrapped so tight around his body, giving him less and lesser space, it thrilled Mello each second more. Light was growling as he increased his speed, hammering on his prostate and bringing him to his orgasm. Mello cried out loud and felt his own release on his stomach.

Light squeezed Mello’s ass and nibbled at the calf resting on his shoulder as he followed Mello straight away, shoving his cock deep into the blonde, soiling his insides with his semen, marking him as _his_ once more.

 

\---

 

Light was caressing Mello’s scarred cheek, the blonde smiled softly, put his bandaged hand on Light’s waist. Light had cleaned his wound after the shower. Their hair were still a little damp, Light reached for the blanket and covered them both well before returning his attention to the blonde.

“Your scar…” Mello looked away, he was still feeling sorry for Soichiro’s death. Light wanted to ask him many questions, so many questions. “How much did it hurt?”

Mello sighed, trying to ban those memories. “A lot.” He shifted a little closer to Light. “Matt had to give me morphine shots.”

“Oh damn, Mel.”

“That was probably even worse than the pain. I needed to control it, I needed it. Matt saved me then… again.” Mello touched softly Light’s lips. “Matt had saved me so many times… I’d be dead without him.” A tear ran down Mello’s scarred cheek, Light wiped it away.

“He saved you from your own mafia guys too.”

“How do you know?”

“Jonnie told me.” Light shrugged.

“Jonnie doesn’t know the whole story.”

Light frowned and kissed the blonde, feeling him tense against him. “You can tell me the whole story.”

 _So you can use it against me_ , he wanted to say, but held it back. What could Light do to harm him more that he hadn’t already. Not much. “I was Rod’s whore before I made my way into his syndicate. As soon as I started working for him, Rod stopped fucking me, but kept me as his little errand boy to prove me. I worked hard, and Rod liked me. One day he promoted me as his deputy head, and some guys didn’t like that.” Mello sighed. “They drugged my drink and dragged me to a lousy motel. You can imagine what they did to me.” Light nodded and felt bad for Mello. “Long story short, Matt found me and killed them. Then he stormed in our HQ and killed a few guys before reaching Rod. Rod didn’t know anything about this of course…”

“And so they called him Loco.”

“Yeah.” Mello hugged closer to Light, he didn’t really like to think about the past.

“And… what they did to you must have been horrible.”

“I don’t really remember it. But I felt soiled.” Mello shrugged. “I started drinking a lot, and I think I was developing addiction to coke. Matt took it away from me for a while. He saved me from trouble, again.”

Light wrapped his arms around Mello. “I’ll protect you. You’re safe at Kira’s side…” Mello nodded and felt Light’s shielding embrace around him.

“I guess… I’ve just a lot of bad luck... probably God is proving me.” Light kissed his forehead.

“Well you said I’m a lucky guy, I guess it will extend to you too.” He cupped Mello’s face with his hands, his touch was gentle, but his eyes were grim. “You have to stay by _my_ side.”

Mello leaned his head on Light’s chest and cried internally. He cried for all the times he'd treated Matt like an idiot, for all the times he'd ignored him because he was just there. He cried because he had left Matt behind and hadn't let him in his life for three years. He cried for Light, because he liked him but he was Kira. And he cried for himself, because he still was his own biggest disappointment and he had lost control over his own life.

 

\---

 

Mello woke up and winced as he saw Light sitting in front of him, holding a red rope in his hands, a rope that wasn't his.

“L-light…?” The ex-brunette sat on his lap and pushed him down. “W-what is it now?”

“Nothing, Mello. You thought you could get away with it so easily?”

“I won’t do that again.” Mello tried to talk himself out of this, but he already knew it was futile.

Light made a loop at the exact half of the long rope and put it around the blonde's neck. “I won’t hurt you. Just trust me. Do you trust me?”

Mello didn’t answer but let Light do, as he started making well thought through knots around his wrists and arms. “The rope is made of silk, it won’t bruise your skin.”

“Whatever.” Mello groaned and wondered what Light was up to now. Revenge for yesterday? For sure, but there was something else. “Where did you get this rope?”

“At the mansion.” Light shrugged and slipped it under Mello’s waist, tying knot after knot along his upper body.

 _‘So you've already planned it…bastard.’_ Mello prepared himself mentally, Light wanted something from him, and whatever it was, he wouldn’t get it.

“Ooooh so this is the reason why you took it.” Ryuk laughed and observed the whole scene, amused. Mello felt uneasy being exposed like this to the annoying shinigami. “You want to give pretty boy a lesson.”

Light was spreading Mello’s legs and tied the knees to his elbows, giving a nice view to what was between his legs. Light licked his lips, he'd probably never looked that close at Mello's most intimate spot.

“I think you can go now!” 

“He can stay.” Light chuckled and pressed a soft kiss on Mello’s nose.

“What? No! At least look away you damn peep!” Mello barked aggressively and glared into the shinigami’s glowing eyes.

“It’s not that I want to do it, my dear. But it’s written in your bible too. An eye for an eye.” Light purred and stroked gently Mello’s hair.

“Actually, Jesus said to turn the other cheek!” Mello yelled and pulled at the rope.

“Oh, Mello… as if you follow that teaching. You’ve left me there, all naked and alone. That wasn’t very nice.”

“I’ve offended his majesty?” Mello licked Light’s wrist and bit it softly. Light nodded and pushed two fingers in Mello’s naughty mouth, wondering how the blonde could find pleasure even in this situation. He sat back and took one of Mello's dangling feet, started to slowly kiss the soft sole. He looked down and saw Mello's soft cock slowly hardening. “So you just want to fuck me like a whore? Because it’s what I am to you, right?” Light licked from heel to toes, sucked at them gently. The blonde hardened completely and looked lustful into his eyes.

Mello moaned loud as Light sucked one of his pierced nipples, his back arched slightly. “Do I look like I fuck with whores?” Light’s teeth sank in the hardening nub, making Mello wince a little.

“Well… once whore, always whore.” The blonde groaned loud as Light’s wet fingers touched his exposed entrance, his other hand rubbing gently his foot.

“You’re just too proud to admit you like it to be taken…” Light licked Mello’s armpit, Mello sucked his lower lip in. “Calling yourself a whore is only to justify yourself.” Mello felt two fingers entering him, slowly moving in and out. He closed his eyes, and focused on not moaning too loud. He won’t give Light the satisfaction to hear him wheeze all needy. “What were you doing in the house?” Light asked him after fingering the blonde for a few minutes, getting him really needy.

“Wh-what house?”

“You know which house.” Light shoved his fingers deep in, trying to find Mello’s prostate.

“I was… ngh… praying.”

“Praying?” Light’s fingertips rubbed softly his sensitive spot, then he withdrew them. “Praying for what?” He nibbled at Mello's delicate ankle, observed his reaction. The bastard was enjoying it.

“For BB’s soul.”

Light spat on Mello’s exposed hole and rubbed it with his fingers. “Mello, don’t fool me. What about the candles?” Light shoved three fingers in, not much to Mello’s pleasure because he hissed at the sudden intrusion.

“I-I was just pra-aaah-ying! His soul is cursed. T-the candles… I brought t-them from home. I aaah-always use them.”

Light looked at him, his fingers brushed his prostate again. “What happened to your hand?”

“I-I stumbled and… ngh cut myself on a broken glass on the fff-floor.” Light pressed his fingers painfully against Mello’s prostate.

“Are you sure?”

The blonde nodded desperately, his eyes were watering. Light looked at Ryuk, who gave him a shrug. “If he says so, you have to believe him. That house was a mess.””

“Ryuk thinks you summoned a spirit.”

“Wh-what?” Mello panted hard. “You stupid idiot, how am I supposed to do that?”

“Yes or no?” Light gave Mello’s cock a teasing lick and thrust his fingers hard into him. Mello shook his head, not breaking eye contact with Light. “Yes or no?” Light spat again between Mello’s ass cheeks and forced his fourth finger in, pushed his hand in till the base of his thumb hit the manhandled ring of muscles. Mello’s eyes were watering more, his cock twitched. “You better say the truth or I’ll destroy you.” Light's teeth ran over Mello's tip till they caught the small ring through the small hole and pulled roughly. He had no idea if it hurt or not, but every guy was concerned for his dick’s safety. Mello wouldn’t want a part of it torn apart.

“N-no Light, really!” Mello’s voice was desperate. “I did nothing, I-I swear!” The boy started crying. “My life is already a mess, I d-don’t need to summon g-ghosts to make it worse. It's against my religion.” Mello sobbed loud, tense and frustrated, his whole body trembling. Light let go his piercing.

“Why do you have shinigami eyes?”

“I don’t know!” Mello screamed in agony as Light squeezed his balls while pushing his hand in.

“How did you get them?” Light was enjoying the power he was having over Mello, the way he was controlling his body. Mello was crying now and Light could see the pain in his face. “You made the eye deal with Ryuk?”

“Eh?” Ryuk sat on the headboard with his legs apart looking down first to Light, then to Mello.

“N-no!” Mello’s eyes shifted from Light to Ryuk. “I don’t even have a-aaah notebook! Why should I ngh…” The blonde groaned exhausted. “R-Ryuk… tell him, please!”

“I don’t trust Ryuk.” Light rubbed Mello’s prostate, making his body whimper under him.

“Well, I don’t fucking know how I got them!” Mello cried. “You think I wanted them? I don't fucking want them! I'm damned now!”

“Come on, Light. He’s telling the truth.” Ryuk seemed strangely not enjoying the entertainment Light was giving him.

“Fine…” Light stopped moving again, leaving Mello on edge. His chest was raising and lowering insanely fast. “One last thing…” Light closed his hand around Mello’s cock and pumped him a few times.

“L-Light…. please ngh I-I can’t anymore.”

“Are you in contact with Near or Halle?”

Mello shook his head. “N-no.”

Light withdrew his hand, leaving Mello’s hole empty and waiting to be filled again. “Don’t play both sides. Ever.” Mello nodded and welcomed Light’s lips, devouring his mouth in a hungry kiss. He was a desperate needy mess. “You can go now.” Light looked at Ryuk and the shinigami disappeared.

Light positioned himself between Mello’s spread legs, his hard cock entered him without effort. He moaned as he felt the tight warm insides around him, he was as desperate as Mello for release.

“You can be a good boy if you want.” Light slipped both hands under Mello’s ass to raise his hips a little, squeezed his toned muscles.

Mello nodded and closed his eyes. “P-please be gentle.”

“Of course.” Light buried his head in Mello’s hair, kissed his neck softly and nibbled at his sensitive ear. It was probably one of his weak spots, because he got goose bumps. Mello kissed randomly Light’s cheek, moaned softly in his ear. He couldn’t move much of his body, felt Light’s heat everywhere.

Light wondered why he always had to tie up Mello and force him into having softer sex. Their whole relationship was a whole contradiction. Mello was a whole contradiction.

“R-Raito…” Mello moaned softly in his ear, Light loved the soft Slavic accent on his Japanese name.

“Mihael…” Light whispered in response, feeling his climax building up faster than expected.

“I’m-” Light silenced the blonde with a deep kiss, while thrusting not too hard against his abused prostate. Mello bit down hard on Light’s lower lip as he came silently, squirting cum between their bodies.

Light groaned and pumped hard in the tight heat, his own orgasm finally coming too. He collapsed on the blonde and remained still for a few minutes.

 

“Mmmh… Light I can’t feel my fucking limbs.” Mello lamented and Light huffed.

“Can you not shut up for more than five minutes?” Light sat up and rubbed his eyes. He tried to clean up Mello’s cum but it got between his skin and the rope and Light gave up. He removed the knots as fast as he could, Mello finally stretched his aching body.

“I didn't know you were into shibari.”

“Well, it's not like I was a virgin before I've met you.”

“Your ass was.” Mello purred and giggled impish, not at all surprised as Light slapped softly his head.

Light went to the bathroom to wash his face, he looked at his reflection in the mirror, wondering if he should be proud about himself or if he should feel disgusted by himself. ‘How can I judge others if I’m losing any morals…’

Mello covered his privates with the blanket as Ryuk appeared again. “Did you enjoy the show?” The blonde purred and smirked sensually.

“No.” Ryuk looked weirdly serious, Mello was used to see him squeaking and cackling like when Jonnie was high.

“Why did you help me?” Mello played sensually with his hair, his eyes observing closely Ryuk’s. There was something behind them he never had noticed, but what?

“Because, pretty boy,” Ryuk smiled broadly, showing his pointed teeth. “You promise _a lot_ of trouble.”

Mello rolled his eyes and put on a sleeveless band shirt and boxer shorts before getting out of the bed. He put on the rosary again around his neck, as always sending a silent prayer to his lost love. He hit the power button of the coffee machine as he felt a warm embrace coming from behind. Light kissed softly the crook of Mello’s neck; the blonde leaned back and enjoyed it.

“Make coffee for me, too?”

“Hmm I don’t know.” Mello laughed and put a second cup under the stream.

“So, we have to find out how Mello got his eyes.” Light took his cup and fondled Mello’s nape.

“Good luck.” Ryuk chuckled and sat on the counter next to them, waiting for an apple.

“You’re gonna cooperate with us.”

“What? Me? But I-”

“You’re a goddamn shinigami! How the fuck should we find out by ourselves?” Mello took an apple from the fridge and held it in front of Ryuk’s face. “Hmm Ryukieee.”

“Fine.” Ryuk took the apple and threw on the bed, devouring it greedily.

“What did I say about chocolate?” Light asked as Mello snapped off a piece of chocolate.

“Before we focus on my eyes, we have to go on with our Kira plan.” The blonde ignored him and licked at the chocolate bar. “Send my picture to Halle. I’ll contact Zhandos after breakfast.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reference:  
> The Thousand Years (from the Revelation) 
> 
> 20 And I saw an angel coming down out of heaven, having the key to the Abyss and holding in his hand a great chain. 2 He seized the dragon, that ancient serpent, who is the devil, or Satan, and bound him for a thousand years. 3 He threw him into the Abyss, and locked and sealed it over him, to keep him from deceiving the nations anymore until the thousand years were ended. After that, he must be set free for a short time.  
> [...] 7 When the thousand years are over, Satan will be released from his prison 8 and will go out to deceive the nations in the four corners of the earth—Gog and Magog—and to gather them for battle. In number they are like the sand on the seashore.
> 
> \---
> 
> It took me forever to write this chapter because I wasn't really happy how the last one turned out, so I had no motivation at all. Anyway I'll try to update every 2-3 weeks again.  
> Next chap will be plot. Kira, Near and Mello's new eyes)
> 
> I'll write Matt's 'Loco' story too asap and upload it in the Cute Boys Gone Wild series
> 
> Art by me  
> Thanks for reading, I hope you like this one


	23. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mello has committed himself to doing everything in his power to revenge Matt's death.  
> Light vowed to create a new world and reign as undisputed ruler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really long and plotty chapter, sorry for the lack of smut. I hope you enjoy anyway.

Light stared out the huge window, looked at the immense deep blue ocean in front of him. Funny how the very same ocean looked so different seen from Tokyo and Los Angeles. He had to admit, he missed his hometown. He truly missed Sayu, and his mother. He still couldn't believe he let Mello persuade him to write their names in the notebook. Light sighed and rubbed his eyes, at least he couldn't be bribed anymore. He had no weakness anymore. Sacrifices were necessary sometimes, even if hard to take in. _‘Sayu would just end up hating me.’_ Light had two notebooks, and he had Mello's eyes. He would win.

_‘Well, time to get back to work.’_ Names wouldn't write themselves, and he had to be careful about which ones he was picking. It shouldn't be too obvious it was Kira killing those people, so he picked a different way to die for each of them.

Light sighed and glimpsed again to the ocean. It wasn't that he didn't like it here in Los Angeles, it wasn't _that_ bad actually. But compared to Japan, it was a real disaster. The climate was nice, but the rest… he could witness the craziness of this place. There was a lot of work to do if he wanted to create a new world. He didn’t want a world full of lazy and spoiled people. Light checked time, he should better spy what his former colleagues were doing. He was definitely not missing them.

 

Mello put on loud music and started to vacuum the floor. He was barefoot and dressed in shorts as always when he was at home, and tied his upper hair to a messy bun. He seemed to be more ordinary than Light had thought. He seemed to be way more creature of habit than he wanted to be. Light shouldn't be surprised. Every person had their own comfort zone.

The blonde cleaned meticulously the whole flat, singing and humming along the music. Light sighed, why was he always so damn noisy? Could someone like Mello really be a perfect spy agent in case?

Mello stood in front of the wall next to the computer desk. He looked at the Polaroid pictures, all the photos Matt had taken while they had been together. With a heavy heart, he removed them, one after one, remembering every moment depicted on the photos. The greater part of the pics were of Mello, Matt preferred to stand behind the camera. _Matt Matt Matt_. Mello sighed deeply. It was already hard on its own, and being constantly reminded how happy he had been with Matt, made him feel even worse. He had destroyed everything. He had the chance to be happy, but he had ruined it with his own hands. Matt once had asked him what price Mello was prepared to pay to become L's successor. _Anything_ had been his answer. He hadn't considered that his fanaticism had cost him dearly, had taken from him the only thing that truly mattered in his life. And now, what was left for him? Absolutely nothing. He had asked himself many times why, why, _why_ he wanted to be L's successor. He didn't even like that weird man. Apparently the brainwashing at Wammy's worked better than he wanted to admit. Maybe his ambition was to show them he could be a better L. A good L.

Mello put the photos in a small box and placed it on one of the shelves. It was at if he was trying to remove the guilt he was still feeling. He knew he was a miserable. He knew Matt died because of him. He knew that well, but God damn it, there were other ones that could be hold responsible for Matt's death. Light and Near were on top of the list, but he'd like to see burning all the men who had shot Matt. Revenge was the only feeling that gave him strength now. He couldn't kill himself and still, he would not leave this world without raising hell on earth. Matt's death wasn't going to be a futile sacrifice.

Matt had believed in only one thing, and that was freedom. Mello would fight for it once he eliminated his competition. He wasn't going to let the world get dominated by a narcissistic tyrant.

But it wasn't his primary goal for now. Mello put away those ambitions, the memories of Matt. There was nothing left for him here. He had to move on. He had to be strong.

 

Mello put on the desk two cups filled with coffee and plopped on the chair next to Light, who gave him a soft smile.

“Done with housework, Cinderella?”

“Mmmh yas.” The blonde huffed theatrically. “You could have helped me.”

Light raised an eyebrow and laughed. “I’m not good with housework.”

“Yea yea. His majesty has to be served, right?”

“I’m already working hard.” Mello ripped the notebook from under Light’s elbow. “Hey! Careful.”

“Writing names in a fucking notebook is not hard work, you prick.” Mello opened the wrapping of a chocolate bar using his teeth, and snapped off a piece of treat. “Five names?” The blonde’s eyes narrowed over the unpronounceable names, they somehow sounded like some African language. There were civil wars in some countries there, and Light was probably sentencing war criminals and human traffickers. Kira’s power seemed to have at least _one_ positive aspect. Bit by bit, Mello was slowly realising that Light’s intentions weren’t properly evil, on contrary, the intentions he had were actually good. But Mello knew well that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Good intentions weren’t enough, because Light was cruel and a fanatic, and his vision of the perfect world was in contrast with one of God’s highest laws. The free will of humans. Matt had been a better Christian than Mello, without being aware of it.

“I’m not done yet.”

“They’re too many already.”

“Excuse me?”

Mello closed the notebook. “Seriously, don’t overdo it. It has to seem as if Kira isn’t active anymore.”

Light nodded, Mello was right. But it burnt so high in him, the desire for justice. Every day bad things happened out there, and no one did a damn thing about it. The world was rotten and doomed to anarchy without Kira’s power. He heard it in the news. Criminality was rising again, people weren’t that blind. It was obvious that Kira wasn’t operating anymore. It was on the headlines of every newspaper, in the top news of every broadcast. The world was done with Kira. He had watched several debates on TV; people claimed daily the world was missing Kira’s justice. Some of them agreed that Kira was a crime against the human freedom and that Kira was in fact despotism.

The common folk instead, seemed to miss Kira’s basic view of justice. There were prayers for Kira to come back, hoping Kira was just resting. People felt safer knowing that someone out there was doing something for them. Not corrupt politicians, or rich, powerful persons who bought their own position, but a faceless god who judged them all the same way. Rich or poor, men or women, they were all the same in Kira’s eyes.

“You removed the photos.” Light sipped from the coffee.

Mello sucked at a piece of chocolate. “Mhm.”

“How come?”

“Well… I think it’s time to move on. You’re here with me now.” Mello smiled gently, and his usually grim eyes seemed to soften a little.

_‘You little liar.’_ Almost. Light _almost_ believed him. “Aren’t you afraid someone could find your photos here and use them against you? Especially after the Task Force has found out your real name?”

“Hmmm… nah.” Mello crossed sensually his long legs, putting the upper one on Light’s lap. “If anyone ever tries to intrude my house, they’ll set off the bombs placed under the floor and blow up the whooole place.”

“You’re not serious.”

“Yes, I am.” Mello answered nonchalantly and Ryuk chuckled behind him.

“So, if yesterday I tried to force the lock of the door, the bombs would have detonated?”

“Yea… every spot here… windows, doors... has a trigger. Do the wrong move and boom!” The blonde giggled amused, echoed by Ryuk’s annoying cackling. Light felt uneasy knowing that his ass was literally sitting on explosives.

Ryuk laughed and made a flip in the air. “Come on, Light. Don’t be so judgey. Don’t forget you did something similar as well.”

“I didn’t.”

“Wait, he what?”

“At the very beginning, Light was afraid someone could find the notebook.” The shinigami sat on the computer desk and Mello listened with interest. “So our smart boy had built a small system to blow up the notebook if someone ever forced the hidden compartment of his drawer.” Mello cackled loud as Ryuk told him about Light’s epic ideas to keep the notebooks, and himself, safe.

“Oh, Lightie, you’re so right. We’re so alike.” The blonde couldn’t stop laughing. He wanted to high-five Light, but he just sat there and glared at him with crossed arms. “Ryukieee tell me more about Light’s glorious feats.”

Light wasn’t amused. He didn’t like that Ryuk was chattering about his secrets. That shinigami bastard knew for sure that there were bombs placed under the house, and he didn’t say anything. _‘On which side are you, Ryuk?’_ There was something about Ryuk’s and Mello’s recent getting along that bugged him a lot.

 

“So, any news about the Kira stuff?”

“Pff, not much.” Light shrugged and fixed the glasses on his nose. “I’ve looked through the files of the Task Force but it seems like they haven’t found out yet that I’ve switched the notebook in their possession.”

“Thanks to my help.”

Light rolled his eyes, and brushed his long bangs out of his face. His hair was getting too long, he didn’t want to look like Mello. “Yes, Ryuk. Thanks to your help.”

“I did it just because I was getting bored, you know. I was almost hoping they exposed you.” The shinigami laughed and Mello smirked while gnawing on another piece of chocolate.

“Anyway, nothing important happened. Seems like they are pretty much sure Kira is out of order. They are still looking for Kira, though.”

“Are they still working with the SPK?”

“They have occasional contact, but nothing really relevant. They’re accusing the SPK to be responsible for my disappearance.”

“I see…” Mello had put both his feet on Light’s lap, Light rubbed gently one of his soles with his thumb. It was so relaxing, for both of them. _‘Near is pretty much sure Light Yagami is not dead and the Kira case isn’t solved yet… maybe he had already found out the notebook he got from Mikami is a fake… yea I'm pretty sure about it.’_ Light observed Mello who seemed to be deep in thought. _‘It’s tricky but if everything goes according to my plan… Near, you won’t sleep at night, because you don’t know what the fuck is going on…’_

“Mello?”

“Hm?” The blonde came back to reality.

“Are you okay?” Mello nodded and drank some coffee. “Before I show you something… is everything ready for today?”

“Yea… Zhan confirmed the tape has arrived already and Halle will meet Near in…” Mello reached for Light’s left arm and checked time on his watch. “...two hours. You really should change your clock.”

Light felt uneasy, as always when somebody got too close to his watch. At least Ryuk didn’t tell Mello that he was hiding there a piece of notebook. “Well, it’s useful in this case.” He withdrew his arm and put his hand again on Mello’s foot.

“What do you wanted to show me?”

“I’ve found a video… the one where Matt gets shot. If you feel like it, we can watch it and compare the faces of his killers with the pictures of Kiyomi’s bodyguards I got from the server... I know it’s not much, and the video is very crappy, but maybe it’ll make you feel better…”

Mello’s face changed, turned from cheerful to cold, bitter, his eyes hardened immediately to freezing ice. “Those men are Kira’s men.”

“Well, I promised you.” If it was going to help Light to earn Mello’s trust, Light would kill them. He didn’t need them anymore. “If you don’t feel for it, I can do it alone-”

“I’ll do it.” Mello sat up straight. Matt always told him he was brave and strong. Time to finally be the man Matt believed he was. _‘Maybe he’ll come back…’_ He sighed, still missing Matt’s presence watching over him. He touched the cross pendant, as if Matt’s ashes could give him strength. They gave him strength, Matt was still with him, Mello was sure about it. Mello reached for the small paper knife and pierced the tip of his thumb, sucked at the tiny amount of blood. He felt the metallic taste on his tongue, his heart beat increasing, something into him lighting up. Was this thrilling him, or better, the spirit he was hosting? “I just wanna know why this has to work with blood. I feel like a vampire.”

“We will find out about it. Be patient.” Light glared at Ryuk. “Our shinigami guardian will be useful for once.”

Mello watched the surveillance video shot from one of the cars of Kiyomi’s bodyguards, which were chasing Matt. Light explained him it was taken for safety measurements, but Mello knew exactly it was so Kira could get the names of eventual troublemakers. The video wasn’t very clear, and he couldn’t see much. Mello sat there and tried to focus on the faces he could see, he was collected and silent, sucking at the bleeding thumb of his bandaged hand. The way the blonde was observing carefully, quietly, reminded Light so much of L. Mello ordered methodically every single picture in order of appearance of the persons he could see in the video and noticed the names on a piece of paper. Light undid Mello’s hair and crawled softly his nape, he was so tense behind the cold facade. Mello closed his eyes and sighed deeply at the moment the bodyguards opened fire on his beloved. Matt wasn’t visible in the frame, but still, it was hard. Light stopped the video. It was enough.

“You did well.” Light whispered softly. “I’m proud of you.”

“I couldn’t even see them all.” Mello muttered and faced Light, his eyes so very frostbitten. “Make them burn to death.”

“But Mello…” The Japanese looked incredulously at him. Was Mello really so cruel? His mad eyes told him that yes, he was. “That’s a horrendous death.”

“Matt has been shot 64 times.” Mello’s voice was calm, too calm. Light was used to face the emotional part of Mello, not the rational, calculating one. “He died alone, like a dog. They didn’t even give him the chance to explain himself. They just shot him down like a rabid animal.”

“Mello… trust me, it’s better that they shot him.” Light reached for Mello’s cold hand and the blonde entwined their fingers with each other. “If they took him… they’d tortured him to get out any information from him.”

“Matt would never betray me.” Mello swallowed, feeling his heart clutching at the thought of Matt suffering and held prisoner for God knows how long.

“That’s right… now imagine what they’d do to him if he was alive.”

“Then imagine why I want them to burn to death.”

Light huffed. “Fine. I’ll arrange a fake meeting for everyone who was involved in Matt’s death. And then…”

“Boom…”

 

\--

 

“Mello! Mello, it's time!”

The blonde put the small gold case on the desk before taking place on the chair next to Light, but before he could open it, Light took the case and put it out of Mello’s reach.

“Hey! I need it to focus!”

“You don't need it. It's not good for you.” Mello's eyes were full of spite and anger, but Light didn't care. It was for his well-being. Mello himself had told him Matt had done this as well, and Light didn't want to deal with Mello's eventual drug abuse.

“Kurva! Give it back!”

“I said no.” Light got up and put the case in the pocket of his track pants.

“Asshole!” Mello didn't even turn to him, he heard Light doing something in the cooking area, but didn't care what. He sat there with crossed arms, upset by Light’s bossy behaviour. Who was he to decide for him?

Light came back a few minutes later and put two cups on the desk, sat down and moved the chair closer to Mello.

“You can do it, Mel.”

The blonde rolled his eyes and took a sip of tea, actually surprised it was green tea. It was the one Light had brought from Japan. He remembered this taste very well, it was the brew he had prepared the day Mello had dyed his hair. Light rubbed softly Mello's spine, felt his tense muscles slowly relaxing. Mello purred softly, he reminded him of a cat. Mello was hard to handle but easy to understand. Just a few strategical attentions and Mello's attitude changed from hideous to lovely.

“Has Halle arrived?”

“Yes. They're talking about the picture.” Light was following Halle’s movements through her phone. It still seemed strange to Light, either Matt had done an excellent work breaking into her mobile without leaving any trace, or Near knew about it and let them simply do. Light really hoped Matt was really the good hacker as described by Mello.

Mello plugged in the headphones and adjusted the volume. Then he connected a telephone device to the console unit.

“Old-fashioned, huh? Sure it works?”

“Old-school always works, babey.” Mello winked at him and set up the whole stuff, connecting the cables to the unit. “If they try to wiretap the call, all they’ll find is an untraceable source.”

“How does this stuff work?”

Mello shrugged. “Dunno really. Matt was the technology freak, not me.” He dialled Halle’s phone number. “They haven’t met since a while. Wonder what’s going on…”

“Do you think-”

“Sh!” Mello waited until Halle picked up. “This... is Kira.”

Light was listening to the conversation through the earphones. Mello’s voice was filtered, using the same one Light had always used as Kira.

<W-what…?> The woman stuttered, clearly surprised. <It’s Kira.> She probably informed her colleagues about who was contacting her. There was a long pause, probably they tried to track the call. Mello had given dispositions to Zhandos to create a decoy in Japan, close to the place he had called Halle for the first time. <Where is Mello?>

“Where is the notebook?”

<Give us Mello and we will tell you everything we know.>

“My compliments. Your agent didn’t tell us anything. Have you received the photography? We’ve treated him well.” Mello faked an evil laughter.

Light gestured Mello to hand over the device. “You don’t really believe we hand over the boy without getting anything first? If you say it’s not in your possession, you better work hard to find the notebook. Do you know what happens if a lunatic criminal get his clutches on it? Only Kira is justice.”

<But…> There was another long pause.

<This is Near.> Light and Mello recognized the voice of their opponent. <Kira is not justice. Kira is a killer. I don’t believe one single word you say.> Light wrinkled his nose, how dared this snotty brat to talk to him like this. He, Kira, he who was the god of the new world, the emblem of justice.

“Mello for the notebook. You better do what I say, or it'll have consequences.”

<Mello… I doubt he’s still alive and useful.>

“Find out for yourself.” Light handed the phone to Mello, who was already getting into his part. Not that he needed much, Near’s offence got him.

Mello switched off the voice filter. “N-near…” He panted, his voice so very weak. “P-please take me out of here, I-I can’t anymore.”

<I’ve never thought you’d been outsmarted.>

“I didn’t tell them anything…” Near didn’t answer. “You don’t believe me…”

<No.> There was so much tension between them two, Light could literally feel it. It was something far beyond competition. He and L had been competitors, but Mello and Near… it was as if there was resentment or outstanding issues.

“Near, please… I’ve never asked you anything.”

<Mello…> Near huffed. <Light Yagami is dead, no more killings happened after his decease. The Kira case is solved.>

“But… you make it so easy? After all the work we’ve done? Matt died because of this and you simply say the case is over?” Mello’s voice was really desperate. “W-what about the notebook? D-do you have it?”

<Kira is defeated, Mello, and the notebook has been burned.>

“Y-you did what?”

<The persons who got you are not Kira. They are imposters and are using you to get the notebook.> Near paused again, but before Mello could say anything he gave him an information that he knew would break Mello. <Matt is not dead.>

“What do you mean… he’s not d-dead?”

Mello’s position got stiff and Light stayed alert. Near apparently struck a nerve. _‘Dammit!’_

<He survived the shooting. He’s still in hospital but he’s well and alive.>

“Well… then tell him I’m here! I think he wants to know.”

<He knows, Mello. But…>

“But what, Near! What? Do you know what I’m going through? I can’t feel my own body anymore.” Mello yelled frantically and cried. “You have to tell Matt I'm here!”

Light alarmed at Near’s revelation but remained calm. Matt couldn’t be alive. It was impossible. That guy was shot so many times, only a miracle could have saved him. And miracles didn’t exist. _‘If Mello has only the slightest hope his beloved is still alive, it’s over.’_ Light had relied so much on Mello’s desperation and loneliness, if he couldn’t count on that anymore, he was truly fucked. Why was he actually setting up this whole shit with Near? Was it a cry for help? Light didn’t trust him. He was still suspecting Mello was playing both sides just to save his own ass.

<I’m sorry Mello, but Matt is disappointed you failed your mission.>

“F-failed? It’s not my mistake if I was kidnapped!”

<Yes it is. If you had put a cyanide capsule under your tongue like we agreed, you wouldn’t be in this situation...>

“We didn’t agree on this!”

<...as far as I know, you could have been kidnapped on purpose.> Near muttered, Mello was sure he was playing with something.

“I want to talk to Matt! I don’t believe you!”

<Matt doesn’t want to talk to you. He's upset you’re working with this false Kira.>

“I'm not working with Kira! They tortured me!”

<Well you are with them, I’m sure you said something. You've always been an opportunist. Maybe you wanted to use this new Kira against me?>

“You're wrong Near! I've not changed my side... Please, take me out of here!”

<I’m sorry Mello. You’re no longer helpful for us. We can’t risk our lives for you.>

“Near! After all I’ve done! Tell Matt I’m here! Near!”

Near hung up. Mello sat there and didn’t move, his hands folded in his lap, eyes just staring off into space. He didn’t expect this move. It hurt his pride so hard that Near just canned him like this. Was Near lying about Matt or was it true?  _‘What if he's still alive? What... If?’_ Mello sighed and touched the rosary. Was there still hope? What if Matt was alive and didn’t know Mello was out there? _‘But his ghost... was it just happening in my mind?’_

“Mello…” Light took Mello’s cold hand and held it between his. “You really don't believe that, right?”

Mello’s icy eyes looked so sad. “But if…”

“If what, Mello? Matt is dead! You saw it in the video! Near is just trying to break you!” Mello nodded but he seemed a bit doubtful. Light would find another video and force him to watch it so many times until Mello was certain Matt was dead and buried. “If Matt was alive… do you think he wouldn’t look for you, Mello? He _loved_ you!”

“What if he doesn’t know…?”

Light put his hand on Mello’s right shoulder. “If Matt was alive, would he work for Near?”

“No…”

“He would come back home sooner or later.” Mello nodded, while Light stroked softly his locks. “He would contact Jon and Georgios.”

“Yes… he would do that.”

“That didn’t happen.”

“N-no…” Mello sighed. “It didn’t happen.”

Light had to avoid that Mello thought about it too much. Mello looking for his presumed alive boyfriend wasn’t what he needed now. “What do you think now? About the call?”

Mello sipped some tea. “Mh… Near is sure Light is not dead. He probably thinks we two are together now. He thinks this is a whole setup.”

“I still don’t understand this move. Why did you call him? To give him information?”

“If doesn’t know the notebook they have has been switched yet, he’ll find out soon.”

“Why do you think Halle told you they don’t have the notebook?”

“Safety measurements, probably.” Mello shrugged and rubbed his eyes. “You can kill her now by the way.”

“What? But she’s our source.”

“We don’t need her anymore.” Mello leaned over and picked the small gold case from Light's pocket. “I can tell you how things will go from now on. Ryuk will lure another shinigami down to Earth. Said shinigami will give their notebook to someone who’s willing to kill for mercy.” Mello opened the small case and ran his index on the upper lid, collecting traces of cocaine.

Light snatched the case and closed it. “Can you do that Ryuk?”

The shinigami giggled, excited about a new task. “I think so.”

Mello rubbed the tiny amount of drug on his gums. “This new Kira will draw all the attention while we can operate from the underground.”

Light frowned. “But without Halle, how can we follow Near’s plans?”

“Were you not Japan’s best student? Halle has to die. Near could use her against us. It's better to not risk. It doesn’t have to happen today.” The blonde lit up a cigarette.

“And why not Commander Rester as well?” Why was it so complicated with Mello? He seemed to change his plans every day. Mello’s plans had been dangerously great in the past, but it was so hard to believe Mello knew what he was doing.

“Nah. He's Near's babysitter.”

“Fine.” Light sighed and stretched his arms.

“Her death has to be tragic.”

“Tragic? Like she jumps from the eleventh floor and leaves a letter where she says she feels guilty for not saving her dearest Mello?”

Mello smirked and pulled from the cigarette “Yea. I like it.”

“Isn’t that a little too tragic?”

“Nah. I like drama.”

“I’ve noticed that.” Light rolled his eyes. “I’ll think of something less dramatic. Is the name you gave me the right one?”

Mello nodded silently. “I’ll cut the connection to her phone.”

“Such a pity Mello doesn’t want to own a notebook.” Ryuk sniggered.

“He’d be a perfect angel of death, right?” Light smirked.

“Fuck off you two.”

 

\---

 

“Mello! Let’s eat, it’s almost lunchtime.” Light tried to ease the tension that was in the air, and to distract Mello from the weird thoughts that were poisoning his mind. Light remembered the words Mello had told him a few weeks ago. Near is a cheater, and he was cheating now, trying to get Mello weak by pushing his sensitive buttons.

“Okay.” Mello gave in and leaned on the backrest of the chair.

“Let’s get take-away sushi.”

“Fuck no! I hate fish.”

“Why not? It’s my favourite food. Have you ever it at least?”

“Yes I have! My grandmother gave me that damn fish to eat twice a week. At the orphanage in Berlin we always got those damn herrings. In England, they fed us with fish and chips. I don’t want to eat that shit anymore.”

“If you don’t like fish, try the vegetarian sushi.” Light got up and picked a pair of jeans and a shirt.

“But I don’t want that!” The blonde yammered dramatically.

“Fine then, where do you want to eat? Don’t say McDonald’s.”

“Nah. Burger King is better.”

“Complain ever again about having breakout.” Light slapped Mello’s head. “Now get ready, princess.”

 

“Wait a moment. Turn on the TV.” They were ready to leave already, but Light checked time. Mello did as he said and selected the right Japanese channel.

<Breaking news!> The stupid jingle of the advertising break started and Mello lowered the volume. <Rumours that Kira has been defeated are confirmed! L and the CIA are working together to investigate for Kira supporters. The USA will no longer support Kira and Kira activists are pursued by law. The US president himself claimed that America and North Korea allied with nuclear missiles to fight an eventual comeback of the reign of terror. Is this all true? A tape that has been send anonymously proves that, yes it is! What about the free speech? Is it illegal now? More about it later on Sakura TV!>

“You really have a thing for setting the bases for a third world war.”

Mello chuckled. “Rather another cold war. Nobody will do a step before the other. It’s too dangerous.”

“You think they’ll all believe this shit?”

“Of course! It’s on the TV. Everyone believes what’s in TV. The US president will deny everything but the rest of the NATO allies will arm themselves up against America. Russia and China will ally against North Korea. Europe will be in the middle, and they don’t want another world war to happen on their ground.”

“You think Europe is pro or against Kira?”

“Can’t really tell... depends on the country.” Mello threw on his designer leather jacket. “Can we go? I’m hungry.” He put on Matt’s old blue All Stars. Mello hated blue.

“But the broadcast.”

“We can follow the news from your mobile. And better if we follow them later on NHK or BBC.”

 

\---

 

Mello lay down on the bed holding one of Light's notebooks in his hands. He browsed through the pages and read all the rules once more. He already knew them well, he had found out the 13-day-rule was a fake rule after all. But what if he missed something? He couldn't find what he was looking for.

Light sat on the bed, and Mello shifted a little to give him more space. Light put the laptop on his legs and Mello rested his head on Light’s shoulder.

“What are you doing?” Light took Mello's hand and stroked it gently with his thumb. He still didn't feel really good if Mello was fumbling with one of his notebooks, but he seemed harmless. For now.

“I was wondering if…” Mello sighed and looked at Ryuk who was sitting on the other edge of the bed. “How to kill a god of death.”

“Hey!” Ryuk protested and looked at them both.

Light laughed. “You're not serious?”

“Yea. I mean I'm just curious.” The blonde snuggled against Light, purring softly.

“There is a way actually.”

“Well, spit it out.” Light explained Mello all he knew about killing a shinigami, and the reason why Rem died. Ryuk looked uneasy and complained about them two wanting to get rid of him. “But that'll never work on Ryuk.”

“Yeah... You have no idea how many times I've thought about it. But Ryuk is way too lazy and selfish.”

“Hey that's not funny.” The shinigami groaned.

“Fly down, Ryukie. We still need you to find out more about my eyes.” Mello sniggered and winked at him. “You’ll get an apple later, don’t worry.”

“Fine.” Ryuk’s mouth was already watering, he couldn’t wait to get another treat.

Mello pushed the laptop from Light’s legs and touched his nose. “You're so sexy with glasses. Gives you the boss vibes.”

Light chuckled softly. “Well then, let me fuck you on the desk while you call me _boss_.”

“Uuuh someone's into role-play. Suit and glasses.” Mello giggled playfully and his fingertips circled Light’s nipple through his shirt. “I'm sorry but my ass hurts very badly today. Can we…”

“You're not going to top me. Forget it, that won't happen again.”

“Why not? You liked it, you stupid prick.”

Light slapped Mello across the face. “Stop it calling me things!”

“Ouch! Fuck you!”

Light grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled the blonde closer. “Get down on me and suck me off.” He licked Mello's cheek and nibbled at his sensitive ear lobes. The blonde whimpered, Light already supposed Mello’s ears were one of his weak spots.

“You're a fucking tyrant, Light.”

Light bit softly in his ear shell, licked it teasingly. “I'm Kira after all. I'm still ticked off for what you did yesterday.”

“Whaaat? You're quite a resentful guy, aren't you?”

Light squeezed his ass. “Mmmh, very resentful.”

“Will you forgive me, Lord Kira?”

“Depends on how good your blowjob is.”

“My blowjobs are stunning.” Mello pulled his tongue piercing through his teeth.

“Mhm, now shut up and get down, blonde whore.” Light slapped his ass and pushed his head down.

Mello didn't bother teasing Light, he didn't take time for foreplay or to trail kisses along his body. He didn't even remove his clothes, he just pulled out his cock and got straight on it, stroking it a couple of times. As soon Light's cock hardened a little, he took it in his mouth and started deep-throating him. Mello didn't bother to spoil Light. They weren't making love anyway. It was just sex, passionate, enthralling, addictive even… but still, sex. What he had with Matt was beyond human comprehension.

Mello's mouth travelled further down, his pierced tongue licked along his shaft down to his balls, and focused on this sensitive area, teasing the soft skin. Light moved Mello's slim hips towards him, so the blonde’s ass was in his reach. He hastily lowered his shorts, which hooked in Mello’s pierced erection, making him groan of frustration. Light slapped his pale ass, ruining again Mello's marvellous skin with bruises.

“Does Ryuk have to watch?” Mello already complained, so jealous of his intimacy.

“Ryuk.” Light snapped his fingers and gestured him to leave them alone. He grabbed Mello's hair and forced him on his cock again. “You, shut up and suck.”

Mello did as he demanded, Light spat on his fingers and shoved two of them Mello's ass. The blonde groaned loud, but Light bucked his hips up to ram his cock in Mello's throat and pushed his head down, so he couldn't complain. He wasn't in the mood for Mello's whining. He was never in the mood for Mello's whining, but the blonde had pushed his luck too far lately and Light was getting tired of his shit. He hoped they got rid of Near and his enemies soon, so he could finally get rid of him too… but still, Mello had the eyes. Light couldn't silence the little voice telling him Mello got them on purpose. He was already a precious ally but now he was absolutely essential.

_‘Dammit Mello, really.’_ Light's fingers reached deeper in Mello's ass, he could feel him groan around his cock. He was a little struggling, of course he was, this position was quite uncomfortable and humiliating. Mello was a proud bastard after all.

Mello couldn't breathe properly, Light's cock was too damn deep in his mouth, and he didn't give him freedom to move his head. The fingers in him moving almost painfully, rubbing his prostate, and damn, he liked it, he didn't want to, but he was almost addicted to Light’s dominance. Mello's hand reached between his legs, freed his twitching cock from the annoying shorts and stroked himself hard.

Light withdrew his fingers just to slap Mello's ass. He finally let go of his hair and Mello could take a deep breath. He looked up to Light, who was smirking mischievously.

Mello was a hot mess as always, cheeks lovely flushed pink, lips wet and a bit chapped from the nervous gnawing, panting softly in the same rhythm he was stroking himself, eyes injected with lust. Light's fingers ran slowly along Mello's arched spine, then traced his lips softly.

Mello opened his mouth and sucked at them, rubbed his pierced tongue on the sensitive fingertips, never breaking eye contact with him. He abandoned his fingers soon to focus on Light's cock, licked soaking precum mixed with drool from his tip, the metal stud teasing the little bundle of nerves, his icy eyes still staring into his. It was indeed a little intimidating for Light to look at his fair eyes while having him so close to his privates.

Light's wet fingers traced between Mello's buttocks, then slipped again in his ass. He was a little gentler now, not that he had tamed the beast, but Mello was way too needy to do something stupid while they were giving each other pleasure.

Mello moaned softly against his cock and took him in his mouth, fingers teased playfully his balls. Light put his hand on Mello's head again but let him free to move how he wanted. He just crawled Mello's scalp, a gesture of control and reinsurance at the same time.

Light's fingers thrust slowly in and out of him, teasing his prostate, bringing him quite fast to his climax. Mello whimpered softly and came in his own hand but didn't stop pleasing Light, even if out of breath. Light moved his hand on Mello's nape and bucked his hips up a few times before following Mello and releasing into his mouth.

“Mmmh.” Mello wiped his mouth and cleaned his dirty hands on the sheets. He threw himself on the mattress, lying on his back. Light crawled on top of him, rubbed their noses together, kissed him deeply.

 

 

Light took off his glasses and rested his head on Mello’s chest, the blonde stroked gently his hair.

“Hey Mello, I was wondering...”

 “Yea?”

“If it happened you found the notebook, what would you do?”

There was a short silence, Light listened to Mello’s slow heartbeat. “Well at first I'd think it was a bloody joke.” Mello played with his tongue piercing while thinking. “Then I'd keep it and hide it. No, I’d probably destroy it.”

“You wouldn't use it?”

“No. I haven't used them and I'd never use it. It's a tool of evil.”

“If you had one of the notebooks...” Light raised his head and faced him. “Are you really so strong to resist?”

“No... I'm weak.” Mello touched his rosary. “But my faith in God is strong. And God gives me strength.”

“You know Mello, if it wasn't for your stupid faith in God, we could have ended everything so easily by writing Near's name in the notebook.”

Mello ignored Light’s complain, his fingers still playing with the rosary. “I’ve to go to church later.”

“I mean, I know you want to make him suffer, but the ones who’re suffering here is us. I know Catholics atone for their sins through self-flagellation, but seriously, it’s going way too far now.” Light sat up straight.

“You could end your suffering by not being Kira anymore. Nobody's forcing you.”

<Breaking news!> Light was about to look for the remote to turn off the TV running in the background. <Misa Amane, who killed herself a few days ago, was pregnant. Her fiancé Light Yagami died trying to stop Kira! Was Yagami one of L’s men? Did Kira kill him? Find out more on Sakura TV!>

Mello didn’t pay much attention to it, but Light froze. He sat up and met Light’s angry gaze. “What?”

“You little bastard.” Light hissed. “Is this the reason why you wanted to kill Misa?”

“What? No! Aaah!” Light pushed him into the mattress and blocked his body. “If you dare to hit me now, I swear this will end in an ugly fight.” Mello warned him. “And that’s not even true! It’s Sakura TV, Jesus Christ! It’s just stupid gossip! Maybe it’s even Near’s doing.”

“What if, Mello?” Light yelled and clenched his shoulders, shaking him violently. “You’d kill my child!”

“You don’t even want a child with Misa! She’s too stupid for you.” Mello pushed Light from him. “Stop it now!”

Light calmed down a little, it couldn’t be true. He hadn’t had sex with Misa for long time, and he knew she took precautions because she didn’t want children. Light sighed, this was the last straw. He was getting tired of playing games, he was getting tired of Mello.

“Hey, Light...” Mello cupped his cheek but Light hit his hand away. He couldn’t stand Mello’s presence now. Sayu, his mother, his father... they all died because of Mello. Maybe he should just write Mello’s name in the notebook and force him to tell him Near’s name. Maybe it was the best solution, instead of playing Mello’s games. But he wasn’t sure Mello knew Near’s name, he never said he did. Light sighed, at least he was more useful than Misa.

“Don’t touch me.” Light hissed and got up from the bed.

“B-but Light...”

Light picked some clothes from his travel bag and went to the bathroom, slamming the door shut. Mello heard the noise of the shower running.

 

Mello huffed and threw himself on the mattress. “Oh, shit...”

Ryuk popped up next to him and cracked his head sideways. “What’s up? Are you two fighting again?”

“Light’s an ass.” Mello played with his long hair, twisting it between his fingers. “Where do you come from Ryuk?”

“What do you mean, pretty boy?” The shinigami floated above Mello and looked down at him. “From the shinigami realm.”

“Yea but where is it? In hell?”

Ryuk sighed, it has been a while he hadn’t to deal with a fanatic Catholic. They were stubborn but funny after all, it could be easy to manipulate them under circumstances. Atheists like Light were too practical, it was more gratifying to fool someone who was religious.

“Just somewhere.”

Mello shrugged and got up. He rummaged in the fridge and came back a few minutes later, sitting on the bed. Ryuk’s mouth began to water already at the sight of the blood-red apple.

“How were you created?” Mello unwrapped a chocolate bar and gnawed greedily at the treat. He extended his hand and held the apple in front of Ryuk’s eyes.

“I can’t remember. It happened so long time ago.” Ryuk grabbed the apple and devoured it. Matt had always wanted to adopt a cat, Mello had Ryuk as pet now. He began to slowly notice that Ryuk wasn’t so devoted to Light, after all.

The blonde scrutinized Ryuk’s yellow full moon eyes, peered in his reddish pupils. There was something _behind_ them, but what? Mello tilted his head sideways, and Ryuk seemed somehow intimidate. Maybe he wasn’t used at people staring at him with no shame.

“Are you a nephilim?” Mello’s teeth slid along the chocolate bar, slowly, the tongue underneath tasting the bittersweet treat. Mello loved bitter chocolate, bitter coffee, bitter tea; life was bitter after all. Better getting used to it. Sweets were for children, he was a man. His taste had changed over the years, the more he got used to the taste of alcohol, nicotine and drugs, the more he craved for bitter chocolate.

“A what?”

“Maybe you shinigami were nephilim once, and after you died you all became spirits of death. You clearly work for the devil.”

Ryuk rolled his eyes. “Do you think I’m evil because I’m ugly?”

“No.” Mello snapped off a piece of chocolate. “You’re ugly to scare people. Honestly, you shinigami seem to be quite idiots, if you wouldn’ scare people, nobody would take you seriously.” Ryuk laughed and so did Mello. “Tell me, Ryuk.” The shinigami put on his listening ears. “Is this your true appearance? Or can you change your shape?”

Ryuk cackled evilly, the boy was surprisingly curious. “Who knows, Mihael.”

Mello’s eyes sparked of mischief, the left corner of his lips raised slowly, his mouth curling to a frightening smirk. Sidoh was right, this human _was_ scaring. Such a pity Mello refused to own a death note, it would be so much fun to be his guardian shinigami. He had a great time with Light, but it would be nice to change his human protégé. He wasn’t sure though, he could own Mello at the moment. Whatever was possessing Mello right now, seemed to be very jealous of his host.

“Are you one of Azrael’s emissaries? Or are you him?”

“Nope.”

“Why don’t you tell me who you are?”

“Why don’t you use the notebook?”

“Nah…” Mello sucked at his tongue piercing. “I’m not stupid, Ryukie. I know the notebooks are corrupting for the human soul.”

Ryuk sniggered. “That’s right.”

“So Light can do the dirty work himself. His soul is rotten, anyway.”

“Humans haunted by a shinigami have nothing but misfortune. That’s a rule.”

“I’ve had enough misfortune in my life.” Mello touched the cross of his beloved rosary. “Light can deal with the consequences of the death note.” He chuckled and run his fingers through his long blonde hair. How stupid he had been to stay true to the Wizard-Howl-haircut for so many years. He looked so much better with long hair. Matt had always tried to persuade him to let it grow out. _‘I’ve sinned enough times in my life. If I ever get corrupted by this infernal notebook, I’ll be doomed to go to hell. And, I’ll never meet my Mail again…’_

His fingers closed around the gold cross. Having Matt’s ashes always with him made him feel less alone. It gave him solace. He closed his eyes and recalled the face of his beloved, his soft smile, his sparking eyes. He’d do anything to see Matt’s comforting smile once more. To hear his gentle voice calling him _Miško_. He missed him so much. Mello sighed, the slightest hope Matt was still alive didn’t leave him.

Mello’s other hand reached for the notebook, and browsed through its pages again. It felt like it was burning his fingers, Mello could literally sense the power coming from it.

“Are you looking for something specific?”

“Yea…” Maybe Ryuk could help him. “Is there a way to find out if someone died for real? I mean… do you have the power to see if someone’s still alive?”

“You have it too, pretty boy.” Mello frowned. “Activate your eyes and look at the picture of the person who’s supposed to be dead. If you can’t read their name, they are dead.”

“I don’t trust the eyes. I see random words along with their names.”

“Words? Like?”

“Like rape, or lust, or money… what does that mean?”

“Uh, that’s strange. Seems like your eyes are working different than mine.”

“But how’s that possible? I mean-”

 

“Mello!” Light rushed out of the bathroom. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” The notebook was opened where a small piece was missing. Mello’s swift fingers ripped off a very tiny fragment of paper, right before Light was standing in front of him with crossed arms.

Light ripped the notebook from Mello’s hands. “Don’t touch my notebooks!”

“Hey!” Mello sat up straight. “You wanted to give me one and now I can’t touch them anymore? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I changed my mind.”

“But…” Mello’s mouth dropped open, his fingers closed around the piece of notebook. “You’re a schizophrenic bastard!” Light slapped him hard in the face. “Kurvin sin!” Mello slapped his hand. “Don’t touch me!”

“You wanted to go to church. Get ready!”

“What, now?”

“Yes, now! I need to get out of his place.” Light yanked Mello’s arm to force him up. “And don’t dare speak about your eyes.”

“As if someone would believe me!”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REFS AND STUFF:
> 
> \- Nephilim: The Nephilim were the offspring of the "sons of God" and the "daughters of men" before the Deluge, according to Genesis 6:1-4.
> 
> A similar or identical biblical Hebrew term, read as "Nephilim" by some scholars, or as the word "fallen" by others, appears in Ezekiel 32:27  
> https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nephilim
> 
> \- Free Will: Free will in the Christian sense is the ability to choose between good or evil. This doctrine is embraced by the Roman Catholic Church  
> https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_will_in_theology
> 
> \---
> 
> This was by far the hardest chapter to write for me, I hope it makes sense like it does in my mind.
> 
> Thanks for reading. 
> 
> I just created a Light x Mello tumblr, because, dammit where are the rarepair blogs???  
> fuckyeahlightmello.tumblr.com
> 
> For those of you who own the All-in-one edition, the storyline will vaguely follow the events of the Bonus chapter


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